please pray for my friends...

[laurie31]

It's just infuriating! Even if the mother wasn't the abuser, she ALLOWED it to happen, so she's just as guilty. And how is a 16 year old going to raise a disabled baby with no support?

I just don't understand things like this. Several years ago, we had a baby who was abused severly enough to end up in the ICU. She was 14 months old. The family was abusive to the child while she was in ICU! In front of the staff! And yes, still she was sent home with them.

If someone would abuse a baby *while she was in intensive care* with nurses watching, AND DOCUMENTING, what on earth would they do in the privacy of their own home??? How could any judge in their right mind send that baby home with those people?? We keep expecting to read about her death in the paper with the obligatory hand-wringing "We had no idea the child was in such danger" quote from CPS. Makes me want to throw up, seriously.

 

[quentina]

I am so angry and sad right now!!!! My friend is a foster mom to a beautiful 2 year old who was severely abused at 2 months old. She had a broken leg and severe head trauma and bleeding on the brain and needed 3 brain surgeries. The birth mother ( who is only 16, now) refused to give up custody and she had to go to court months ago for the criminal charges for the abuse. My friend wants to adopt her little girl and has been waiting for 5 months for the verdict and the other day the judge awarded custody back to the birth mother....

I am so angry and sad, I am shaking as I type this.. please pray for my friend Marie and precious little girl.

Please know that the baby will be back. I adopted 2 of my kids from foster care. They will offer the mom classes, training, nurses etc....the odds are still not in the BM favor. Please advise your friend to tell the case worker that they want return placement when and if it happens.

 

[quentina]

So what does your friend plan to do about this? I hope she plans on fighting to keep the girl.

As a foster parent, you have no rights....there is no fight. We are considered paid employees of children and youth. Everything that involves the kids needs prior approval from them ( vacations, school trips, certain activities and even doctor appointments).

All the family can do is hope that they get the child back. At that point, they will start over and try to undo the damage that will be done.

 

[PUZZLDY5]

Apparently this happens all over. I had a friend that fostered 4 children from the same family for approx. 5 years. This kids were awesome. She said they came to her suffering many levels of neglect and abuse. After 5 years of thriving and adjusting well to this woman and her husbands care they obviously wanted to adopt these children. They talked to the social worker and everything and the social worker told them that the mother had lmost no chance of getting these kids back. 3 weeks later she got a call at 10 o'clock at night to get the kids ready they were going home! WTH! That was a few years ago and she hasn't heard from them since. She hasn't fostered since then either. She was devestated.

 

[tiggger1]

I heard last night that supposedly the mother just got arrested for attacking her parents this week. Not sure if this was before or after she found she was getting custody.... maybe they will change their minds?

 

[browneyes106]

I'm sorry about what happened to your friend. It is very unfair. I will keep your friend and the baby in my prayers.

 

[MrsPete]

Sadly, the court system is set up to give the birth parents (especially the mother) every benefit of doubt . . . and the child seems to have very few rights or protections.

 

[Lachesis00]

I am so very sorry for your friend and even more so for that little girl. I do think there needs to be repercussions to those who have some play (the judge) in allowing a child to be harmed or worse, killed.

 

[tiggger1]

Thanks guys! I am praying the judge will wake up and realize that she made a huge mistake and give her back before something happens to that little girl!

 

[Jenvenza]

I am sick as I am reading this! I feel so horrible for your friend and for the precious little girl!!! What a STUPID judge! Seriously, what was he thinking? This is insane!

 

[tiggger1]

I am sick as I am reading this! I feel so horrible for your friend and for the precious little girl!!! What a STUPID judge! Seriously, what was he thinking? This is insane!

The judge was a WOMAN

 

[Keira1387]

Will keep them in my prayers, that is awful.

 

[notSTRONGenough]

I'm a long-time member here on the boards, but I've logged in under a new name for purposes of privacy...

I know that here in my state a foster parent can file an injunction with the courts if he/she feels that the system hasn't properly ensured the safety of the child, but that involves getting an attorney and costly court fees. And from my understanding, many times it still ends up in the birth family's favor. It's really disheartening.

I'm a foster mom who is going through this very same thing as we speak. Our foster daughter is also 2, and has been through circumstances similar to the child the OP referred to. She's been in our care just long enough to form a close bond with us, and she's truly an amazing little girl! She'll likely be reunified in March, and we fear she'll come right back into care.

We were told that because her birth parents make it to some of their visits and were able to complete a few parenting classes, they look like perfect parents in comparison to the deadbeat ones who don't lift a finger to get their children back! I'm sorry, but that just sounds like a lame excuse for a case worker who has too many cases on his desk and (admittedly) just wants to be done with it...It's a sad, sad state of affairs.

We wouldn't change one single minute of the past 15 months we've had with this beautiful little angel, but unfortunately we're done with foster care after she goes back. We'll keep our license up to date simply so that we can be there if she comes back into state custody, but we can't handle being a part of a system that fails children so miserably. We've decided that we may volunteer to become child advocates for the juvenile courts, but we won't be taking any new foster placements....