Please, please, PLEASE help me!! I'm lost!!

[MisWal]

If the cruise is already booked and paid for, I would stay with it. Your mother is planning a trip with all of you, you said she would be devastated. The time to speak up was before the plans were made.

Agreed. Could you add some days at Disney for just the 3 of you before or after the cruise?

 

[Missytara]

Stay with the cruise; if you want some time just the three of you, book one or two cruise tours and explain to your mom you would like some down time.

As you said, she would be devasted if you didn't go.

 

[Missytara]

Agreed. Could you add some days at Disney for just the 3 of you before or after the cruise?

As the OP posted, the cruise leaves out of Galveston, TX, not Port Canaveral.

 

[bobbie68]

Hi,

I have to agree with the other posters about staying with the cruise. You could put it as a hypothetical situation to your mom just to feel her out. If she looks any bit upset I would not bring it up again and go on the cruise. They are wonderful and you could have a good time.

Just an added note my mom died when I was your age and I was so upset that I never did more vacations with her. Don't pass this opportunity up you would never forgive yourself.

 

[shalom]

Joining the chorus saying that, if you didn't want to do the cruise, the time to say so is long past, so make the best of it. In my family, if you've made the reservations and put up the money, the only valid excuse for not showing up is being deathly ill.

Plus you know that DBs GF won't go on the alternate vacation you want, so your DM would be caught in the middle, while DB might see your changes as a slight against his girl and end up Greatly Annoyed With You.

Disney vacations are terrific but it sounds like you've got a lot of great memories there already, and if my experience is anything to go by, over time they'd start to blend a bit. Going on a cruise will give you a whole new category of memories to cherish.

If your DM is going to be "devastated" how much fun would you really be able to have at Disney anyway? Enjoy your Mom while you still have her around and she is young enough to still be fun. There will be plenty of time for separate vacations later.

Second this. I don't mean to be morbid, but getting older really does have a big impact on whether you can vacation with someone. We lost my MIL way earlier than expected, and now hubby's got some back issues that could sideline us anytime.

 

[Alabama Minnie]

I would do the math on a short cruise (3/4 nte.) out of Port Canaveral or Tampa (probably same routes as Galveston) + a pre/post Disney visit. Either port is not that far a drive from Disney. The ships usually don't leave until 5/6 in the evening. (We have done the PC/WDW combo many times.) Then I would see what DM thinks about changing the plan some.
If it will cause hurt feelings, I probably would stick with the plan like others have said though.
We have never been able to justify a Disney cruise though compared to the others rates. LOVE Carnival.

 

[MisWal]

As the OP posted, the cruise leaves out of Galveston, TX, not Port Canaveral.

And that's what happens when you reply from reading the original post only and not the replies. Oops!

 

[MNDisneyChick]

Hi,

I have to agree with the other posters about staying with the cruise. You could put it as a hypothetical situation to your mom just to feel her out. If she looks any bit upset I would not bring it up again and go on the cruise. They are wonderful and you could have a good time.

Just an added note my mom died when I was your age and I was so upset that I never did more vacations with her. Don't pass this opportunity up you would never forgive yourself.

^^^I agree with this. Test the water with her first and then if she seems receptive bring it up. As someone that is close to you in age, I can understand the need to have second feelings about going on a cruise over Disney...I would never do it, but that's just my opinion.

 

[krb2g]

As an adult who still vacations regularly with her family, I'd say go on the cruise this time, get excited for Halloween 2012, and next time the family suggests a trip that you don't want to take, speak up about your hesitations before plans/reservations have been made. I know I really value the vacations I take with my parents, and that in the long run, I'd far rather not disappoint my mother (over something I had already agreed to do) than take an extra trip to WDW. There's nothing wrong with wanting to do a trip for just the three of you (and maybe you could work in a day at a local amusement park this summer, or do a special excursion on the cruise, to get some togetherness), but I'd be hesitant to back out of a vacation like this.

 

[sndral]

I have a child your age. Let me get this straight, you made a promise to your mom that you would join her, DB and DB'sgf on a cruise, creating quality time for all of you and also giving your mom precious time with your child, her grandchild. You showed your commitment to that promise by paying for the trip. You now want to break that promise so that you can take the money and spend it elsewhere on a vacation that is just your little family unit.
I think, perhaps, you should be disinvited from the halloween get together - how would that feel? If the rest of the halloween crowd said, we don't want to vacation with you would you be hurt? That's how your mother will feel.
Next time just say no to the cruise from the get go. Go on the cruise, enjoy it, but also set a date for and start planning your 'just the 3 of us' vacation, you can never have too many vacations.

 

[DrDoofenshmirtz]

I love all the PP who are telling the OP to suck it up and take the cruise for Mama's sake. A cruise the OP is PAYING for, out of her own pocket. Folks, these cruises ain't cheap. It's a lot of money to spend on a vacation she doesn't want to take.

The only honest solution is to sit down with DM, and explain how she feels and why. Capitulation for the sake of harmony only ensures that everyone ends up miserable.

 

[padawans]

I love all the PP who are telling the OP to suck it up and take the cruise for Mama's sake. A cruise the OP is PAYING for, out of her own pocket. Folks, these cruises ain't cheap. It's a lot of money to spend on a vacation she doesn't want to take.

The only honest solution is to sit down with DM, and explain how she feels and why. Capitulation for the sake of harmony only ensures that everyone ends up miserable.

She should have done that before she agreed to take the cruise. I have taken many vacations with my mother that I would have rather not gone on. She is not the easiest person to deal with. There have been times when I have said no. When I say yes to something I stick with it. There is nothing wrong with saying no to your mom, but you gotta do it before all the plans are put in motion. If she ends up miserable on a cruise I think Op has got something wrong with her. If she goes into it with an open mind and a good attitude. I am sure she will enjoy herself. WDW will always be there her mother may not.

 

[DisneyLoverUSA]

You have already said you would go on the cruise. Your mom is excited about it. You have already paid for the cruise. I think it would be terrible (as well as rude) to back out now. I have been on cruises before and had a blast. You can take a family vacation at another time - plus you were just at Disney and have another trip already planned. Stick with the cruise.

I agree with this. You committed to the cruise so you should go on the cruise.

 

[DisneyLoverUSA]

I love all the PP who are telling the OP to suck it up and take the cruise for Mama's sake. A cruise the OP is PAYING for, out of her own pocket. Folks, these cruises ain't cheap. It's a lot of money to spend on a vacation she doesn't want to take.

The only honest solution is to sit down with DM, and explain how she feels and why. Capitulation for the sake of harmony only ensures that everyone ends up miserable.

You must not have ever priced a CARNIVAL CRUISE. You can go on a 5 day cruise to the Caribbean for less than $400 per person. It is DIRT CHEAP as far as vacations go. NOW a DISNEY cruise on the other hand could very well break the bank. I have priced out both.

 

[DisneyWonder]

I appreciate the advice, and to the few of you who have been less than kind, I truly just wanted your opinions, not your judgement.

 

[DrDoofenshmirtz]

She should have done that before she agreed to take the cruise. I have taken many vacations with my mother that I would have rather not gone on. She is not the easiest person to deal with. There have been times when I have said no. When I say yes to something I stick with it. There is nothing wrong with saying no to your mom, but you gotta do it before all the plans are put in motion. If she ends up miserable on a cruise I think Op has got something wrong with her. If she goes into it with an open mind and a good attitude. I am sure she will enjoy herself. WDW will always be there her mother may not.

It sounds to me that the OP was more coerced than agreeing to go. This is a vacation, not a binding legal matter. People are allowed to change their minds, especiially if they find themselves in untenable positions.

The OP has also stated that she'd be thrilled if her DM went to WDW with her, instead of the cruise. This isn't about scorning mom, it's about wasting time and money on something you have no interest in.

 

[DrDoofenshmirtz]

You must not have ever priced a CARNIVAL CRUISE. You can go on a 5 day cruise to the Caribbean for less than $400 per person. It is DIRT CHEAP as far as vacations go. NOW a DISNEY cruise on the other hand could very well break the bank. I have priced out both.

LOL...you've got me there. I've seen the Disney prices, and quickly fled under cover. Still, spending $800 - $1200 (I'm not sure if DD cruises for free) on a trip you don't want to take still seems wasteful to me.

 

[DisneyWonder]

It sounds to me that the OP was more coerced than agreeing to go. This is a vacation, not a binding legal matter. People are allowed to change their minds, especiially if they find themselves in untenable positions.

The OP has also stated that she'd be thrilled if her DM went to WDW with her, instead of the cruise. This isn't about scorning mom, it's about wasting time and money on something you have no interest in.

This is the exact right sentiment. Coerced is an excellent word choice. My mother has a very large personality, and a big tendency to steam-roll over myself and others. She wants what she wants, and literally begged us to go on this cruise, though my husband and I both voiced concerns. I am now looking at how much I have spent on the cruise, and how much I must still spend on airline tickets (the port is in Galveston, so the tickets will be MUCH more expensive than tickets to Orlando), $375 for passports, $500 for excursions and am having a hard time doing all of that knowing that I could have a wonderful vacation at Disney for about half the price that I will end up spending on the cruise. Also, as a PP stated, cruises CAN be cheap. This one was not. It was $2300 for the three of us.

I know this board can get nasty at times, but I must say, I am surprised at how many people have bad-mouthed my character. I realize I opened myself up to that possibility, but I would personally never say some of things that have been said to me.

 

[christine*]

I think you should try talking to your mom about it. Maybe she won't be as devastated as you think she will be if you decide not to go. If I was her I rather have you and your family happy on your own vacation than miserable with me on a ship for a week.

 

[Zachsmom4]

This is the exact right sentiment. Coerced is an excellent word choice. My mother has a very large personality, and a big tendency to steam-roll over myself and others. She wants what she wants, and literally begged us to go on this cruise, though my husband and I both voiced concerns. I am now looking at how much I have spent on the cruise, and how much I must still spend on airline tickets (the port is in Galveston, so the tickets will be MUCH more expensive than tickets to Orlando), $375 for passports, $500 for excursions and am having a hard time doing all of that knowing that I could have a wonderful vacation at Disney for about half the price that I will end up spending on the cruise. Also, as a PP stated, cruises CAN be cheap. This one was not. It was $2300 for the three of us.

I know this board can get nasty at times, but I must say, I am surprised at how many people have bad-mouthed my character. I realize I opened myself up to that possibility, but I would personally never say some of things that have been said to me.

Maybe you should just tell your mom now that you do not want to go on a cruise. Your mind is obviously made up because you are making every excuse as to why you do not want to go on the cruise.

For what it's worth, your expenses I believe are greatly exagerated. If this is a closed loop cruise (meaning that your cruse starts and ends in the US) you do not need passports. Also, if you want to do excursions cheaply do not book through the ship. In addition, my guess is that you booked a balcony room based on your $2300 for 3 people. I have gone on several cruises and have not had any additional expenses besides the original cost of the cruise.

I am not "bad-mouthing your character", I'm just telling it like I see it since you asked.