Pets as you empty nest?

[disneyseniors]

I feel there comes a point where having a dog (pet) is no longer a fit with the lifestyle. Mainly for reasons others have mentioned already. Taking them out good weather or bad. Cleaning up after them. This applies to walks but also accidents from both ends. Feeding another mouth... again. Vet visits and bills (just an example, a $4,000 emergency visit for bloat).
Then, there's a matter of boarding while you're away. At this stage, I'm ready to just pack and my wife and I get in the car whenever we want and go. No dropping the pet off at the kennel, picking it up after the trip and of course paying.
Those were some examples of many, but lastly and maybe the most important, I don't want to put another dog down. That's one tough trip to the vet, and a lonely one back home.
So, that's just us. Everybody has their own thoughts on it.

That's the main thing your said, I don't want to put another dog down.
That's why I can't get another dog right now. It hurts too much and was very traumatic for me to put my love down. I don't know if I can do it again, at least not now.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I suppose this is a common dilemma, while I was walking through the Public Garden in Boston yesterday I briefly overheard another couple playing with a younger couple's dog and chatting. Heard the wife say, "Oh we have had lots of dogs but I was heartbroken when we lost our last one and just can't bring myself to risk it again." I felt that.

I think Vets can do a better job to prevent suffering of animals and the humans who love them.

 

[sheilafri]

We are in our mid-60s with a 15 yo dog. We are still healthy enough for travel but probably spent in excess of $2k in the last year for pet care. We can no longer submit our guy to the stress of a kennel so must hire an in home pet-sitter. We’ve already decided not to get another pet when this one dies. We will take advantage of the break to travel without the stress of worrying about whether our old man will still be there when we get back. When we no longer want to travel we will reevaluate.

Can you get your pet fix by pet sitting someone else’s little pet? Our dog has “another mother” who we trust completely to care for him. She’ll probably cry more than I will when our guy crosses the rainbow bridge.

 

[holden]

We have a 12yo cat, a 9yo cat and a 2yo dog. Our plan is not to adopt any more pets after they are gone. We love them dearly, but we want the freedom to pick up and go on a whim someday.

We also have ponies, but they are our DD17's responsibility. When she is finished school, they will be all hers!

 

[dvcgirl67]

DH is retiring for sure next year. I may work part time for as long as we're still in our current hometown. We plan to spend our early years of retirement as international nomads. We've got three dogs, ages 12.5, 10 and 6. The oldest two have a slew of health issues and they're both doing as well as they are thanks to lots of expensive specialty vet care. The oldest likely has anywhere from 6 months to 1.5 years left, likely on the lower end as much as I hate to think about it. Then our 10 year old has a serious autoimmune disease and diabetes. I think she likely has 2-3 years left in her life. There's no way to be nomadic with the them and so we'll enjoy our time with them and continue to live where we are.

The youngest is in good health at 6 and the outside of her lifespan is around 15 years. She may be around 8-9 years old when we do "launch" into a nomadic lifestyle. Normally, when we travel...I have a pet sitter who sleeps at my house and cares for the girls. Once we head out for good, we'd be bringing the youngest with us. She's an 18 lb miniature schnauzer who has not traveled with us before. From everything I read lately, the airlines are really cracking down on flying smaller pets in cabin. And, while she meets the weight requirement, I have read that she's need to be able to fit in a soft sided carrier and be able to stand up and turn around in that kennel. I don't think that'll be possible. And we won't fly her as cargo.

So, depending on where we go....we'd possibly be looking into what I'm seeing turning into a bigger and bigger thing....hooking up with other likeminded pet owners and using a private jet to get our girl to whatever country we're heading to. There are small businesses popping up who are doing this as well. The idea would be...if we're heading to Europe for a year, find a group that is going to the general area where we want to go....many seem to go from NY to Lisbon (shortest flight). If going to Central or South America....I've seen flights going out of Fort Laurderdale and Houston to parts of Mexico and Costa Rica. Then we'd spend a significant amount of time there before relocating to the next place.

After our youngest passes, our plan is to be dog-free for as long as we're traveling a lot. I'm not sure how we'll do quite honestly because we always had dogs and they are a big part of our lives. As we travel, we could always find shelters and other organizations where we can volunteer to help us get our dog fix.

 

[White Cat]

DH is retiring for sure next year. I may work part time for as long as we're still in our current hometown. We plan to spend our early years of retirement as international nomads. We've got three dogs, ages 12.5, 10 and 6. The oldest two have a slew of health issues and they're both doing as well as they are thanks to lots of expensive specialty vet care. The oldest likely has anywhere from 6 months to 1.5 years left, likely on the lower end as much as I hate to think about it. Then our 10 year old has a serious autoimmune disease and diabetes. I think she likely has 2-3 years left in her life. There's no way to be nomadic with the them and so we'll enjoy our time with them and continue to live where we are.

The youngest is in good health at 6 and the outside of her lifespan is around 15 years. She may be around 8-9 years old when we do "launch" into a nomadic lifestyle. Normally, when we travel...I have a pet sitter who sleeps at my house and cares for the girls. Once we head out for good, we'd be bringing the youngest with us. She's an 18 lb miniature schnauzer who has not traveled with us before. From everything I read lately, the airlines are really cracking down on flying smaller pets in cabin. And, while she meets the weight requirement, I have read that she's need to be able to fit in a soft sided carrier and be able to stand up and turn around in that kennel. I don't think that'll be possible. And we won't fly her as cargo.

So, depending on where we go....we'd possibly be looking into what I'm seeing turning into a bigger and bigger thing....hooking up with other likeminded pet owners and using a private jet to get our girl to whatever country we're heading to. There are small businesses popping up who are doing this as well. The idea would be...if we're heading to Europe for a year, find a group that is going to the general area where we want to go....many seem to go from NY to Lisbon (shortest flight). If going to Central or South America....I've seen flights going out of Fort Laurderdale and Houston to parts of Mexico and Costa Rica. Then we'd spend a significant amount of time there before relocating to the next place.

After our youngest passes, our plan is to be dog-free for as long as we're traveling a lot. I'm not sure how we'll do quite honestly because we always had dogs and they are a big part of our lives. As we travel, we could always find shelters and other organizations where we can volunteer to help us get our dog fix.

Lots of flights from Orlando to Costa Rica.

 

[tvguy]

How do people manage pets as you empty nest and downsize, move and change?

Our last cat passed away 10 years ago. At that time we planned to retire in 5 years, so didn't want any pet commitment as we plan to travel. Ended up delaying retirement to 7 years after the cat passed, but we figure any pet we would get would be about a 16 year commitment, so no change in the pet plan.
However, my wife has instead started buying plants for the garden, all in posts. 13 so far. With each one I ask before she buys it, "who is going to water it when we travel?" The reality is setting in that, at least in the short term, that all the neighborhood kids are too old, or two young to have them to it. So we may have a lot of dead plants.

 

[Stratman50th]

I think Vets can do a better job to prevent suffering of animals and the humans who love ththem.

I'm not sure I'm reading this right. How and what are the vets supposed to be doing? Do you mean medication of some type to allow the animals to have an extended quality of life? Or did you mean sit the owners down an explain it might be time to say goodbye.
Just my opinion, but people know their pets. If they are barely hanging on, they truly need to ask themselves, "am I keeping my pet around for them, or am I doing it for me?" I've always been a proponent of quality of life beats quantity.
EDIT:
I forgot the question, do you mean should the vet tell you what decision to make. Many people go in wanting the vet to make "the decision" for them. It's my experience that they will give no opinion at all. I have had them say afterwards that they thought we made the right decision.

 

[kdonnel]

As if on queue my immediate neighbors got a new Golden Retriever puppy.

They still have a high school aged child who has to travel often for sports so we are often watching their dog, now dogs, on the weekend.

I got to play with the puppy and then stop when I had enough. They on the other hand were still on puppy watch.

 

[Adelle Dazeem]

How do people manage pets as you empty nest and downsize, move and change?

We haven't gotten a new pet yet because of the aversion of losing another pet, there is some PTSD from the way it happened a few years back plus having a pet means you need to have people to rely on for care and we are in a new place so I don't have that sort of network here. Still, I'm finding myself miserable not having a dog to snuggle, I do love cats too but pregnancy made me allergic so it seems like a dog is the answer and maybe a teeny dog so I can easily bring it on a plane. Our first dog was a Papillion, maybe another now, wondering what tiny dogs travel best and please keep in mind I am disabled so it needs to be a tiny fluff I can manage and lift safely for me and for them.

Have you considered pet sitting? That way you can set your schedule to when you want animals around and still go on vacation when you feel like it. You can put restrictions on what kind/breed of pets you want to watch. A friend of mine started watching someone's Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and word spread and she soon was practically the official CKCS sitter of our area. Sometimes she would have up to 8-10 dogs! She got LOTS of snuggles, but of course that many dogs was a lot of work and you could always set limits you are comfortable with. My friend also make quite a bit of money - I think she charged $45 a night/per dog.

 

[mom2rtk]

We are a cat house rather than a dog house. But if we were dog house, I'd consider getting an older rescue, one who was likely facing being put down for not having a home. I can't support getting a puppy from a breeder if you aren't going to be there for them or have a solid plan for them.

 

[footballmouse]

I've been running into this situtation for the past year. All 3 of my kids now live on their own so I don't have anyone to let them out or feed them while I'm gone. When I go away, it's just easier for me to board my dogs at a kennel, the cats are on their own at home. I do ask the kids if one of them can stop by each day and make sure they still have food and water. If they do that then they each should only have to stop over once while I'm gone. I work 12 hour shifts on the weekend and I feel bad not having someone there to let the dogs out a couple of times aday but I'm not going to bother them about it, I'll deal with any mess when I get home. My older dog is good about wetting the floor in the kitchen. Two of my sisters didn't replace their dogs when they passed away b/c they are retired and travel a few times a year and didn't want to have to worry about having someone watch the dog. I understand this but I could never be without a dog.

 

[lovin'fl]

We have been empty nest...well HAD been....since 2017 pretty much. The DS-27 moved back in the fall but should be moving out in a few more months. We had a 17 year old doggo that passed in August. The DS moved in with his cat in Oct. So we had 2 glorious pet free months. I say glorious because our doggo interrupted our sleep for a couple years with being blind and sickly. Which was miserable. And now the cat also interrupts our sleep.

The cat, though, is significantly easier. We travel a lot and for those last couple years with doggo, we had to drive and tote him and his stuff and stay in pet friendly hotel rooms (icky). Couldn't stop and eat at a restaurant (did truck stops with fast food). Also the waking us to potty at all hours...and for a couple of his last years we had a 2 story house so we'd have to lug him down and up stairs while half asleep. Also the vet bills were a lot. And finally the horror of watching them slowly fail and then having to put them down. Awful and don't want to do it again. Not to mention it caused marital strife too because I felt his time had come way way sooner than DH did.

So no dogs for us. I had thought to get a cat after a year or 2 from doggo's passing. But having grand kitty here and the sleepless nights again...we are just too old so no thanks. He sleeps up on us and then wakes in the wee hours and wants attention, climbing on us and meowing. He is a very vocal ginger kitty. If we shut him out of our bedroom he sits there flicking the lever door handle continually while he loudly meows. Until we finally let him in. If I sleep on sofa with him, then I fight all night to keep him from trying to get into rooms with hubby or DS (the flicking door handles and loudly meowing like he's being murdered).

So I am one to say forgo the pets in empty nest years. Not only all the trouble I mentioned above but also age...we aren't young anymore so another dog or cat that would live to 17 may outlive us. And then would be on our kids to care for them when they will have their own households to manage and won't need some old pet of their parents'.

 

[Christine]

We have been empty nest...well HAD been....since 2017 pretty much. The DS-27 moved back in the fall but should be moving out in a few more months. We had a 17 year old doggo that passed in August. The DS moved in with his cat in Oct. So we had 2 glorious pet free months. I say glorious because our doggo interrupted our sleep for a couple years with being blind and sickly. Which was miserable. And now the cat also interrupts our sleep.

The cat, though, is significantly easier. We travel a lot and for those last couple years with doggo, we had to drive and tote him and his stuff and stay in pet friendly hotel rooms (icky). Couldn't stop and eat at a restaurant (did truck stops with fast food). Also the waking us to potty at all hours...and for a couple of his last years we had a 2 story house so we'd have to lug him down and up stairs while half asleep. Also the vet bills were a lot. And finally the horror of watching them slowly fail and then having to put them down. Awful and don't want to do it again. Not to mention it caused marital ******* too because I felt his time had come way way sooner than DH.

So no dogs for us. I had thought to get a cat after a year or 2 from doggo's passing. But having grand kitty here and the sleepless nights again...we are just too old so no thanks. He sleeps up on us and then wakes in the wee hours and wants attention, climbing on us and meowing. He is a very vocal ginger kitty. If we shut him out of our bedroom he sits there flicking the lever door handle continually while he loudly meows. Until we finally let him in. If I sleep on sofa with him, then I fight all night to keep him from trying to get into rooms with hubby or DS (the flicking door handles and loudly meowing like he's being murdered).

So I am one to say forgo the pets in empty nest years. Not only all the trouble I mentioned above but also age...we aren't young anymore so another dog or cat that would live to 17 may outlive us. And then would be on our kids to care for them when they will have their own households to manage and won't need some old pet of their parents'.

The only thing that stops me from having 10 cats is my horrific cat allergies. Thank heavens for small miracles, lol!!!

My daughter has a cat and it's "needy" like this too. I never knew. Same with my coworker--he's got two cats and says he can barely telework for all the attention they want when he's at the computer.

 

[lovin'fl]

The only thing that stops me from having 10 cats is my horrific cat allergies. Thank heavens for small miracles, lol!!!

My daughter has a cat and it's "needy" like this too. I never knew. Same with my coworker--he's got two cats and says he can barely telework for all the attention they want when he's at the computer.

My husband also has that issue. He works from home and the kitty is all over him. And does the door lever knob flicking and loud meowing if he tries to close him out. He can open the doors and cabinets and climbs in sometimes. It seems he, overall though, just likes the doors open. Because sometimes, after all his pursuing, we will open the door and then he walks off. LOL. I bought these plastic things that flip open under the lever so he can't open certain doors. But it still makes loud repetitive flicking/whacking sound. He climbs all over everything too. Island and table included. He tries to climb my lanai screens and has punctured them in a few spots. But he is easier than the doggo in that we can leave him for several days with his litter robot and auto feeder and water fountain. We can go somewhere and don't have to leave early to go let him out to potty like we had to with doggo. He does beat up and chew on his litter robot though so sometimes it goes out of whack. And he's chewed holes in the rubber liner so that will need replacing soon. He's such a jerk. LOL.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I've been running into this situtation for the past year. All 3 of my kids now live on their own so I don't have anyone to let them out or feed them while I'm gone. When I go away, it's just easier for me to board my dogs at a kennel, the cats are on their own at home. I do ask the kids if one of them can stop by each day and make sure they still have food and water. If they do that then they each should only have to stop over once while I'm gone. I work 12 hour shifts on the weekend and I feel bad not having someone there to let the dogs out a couple of times aday but I'm not going to bother them about it, I'll deal with any mess when I get home. My older dog is good about wetting the floor in the kitchen. Two of my sisters didn't replace their dogs when they passed away b/c they are retired and travel a few times a year and didn't want to have to worry about having someone watch the dog. I understand this but I could never be without a dog.

This is pretty much how I feel, too, especially the bolded.