People who are almost never Happy

[Jodi1980]

Do you think that is a choice they make - to be miserable all the time?

 

[Pembo]

I think my sil has made that choice. UGH!

 

[TLinden16]

I don't think that they make a choice to be unhappy all the time. I think they just think that nothing is good enough. Someone I used to work with was the worst. She hated everything. She hated work. She would complain about her family, her vacations, everything. It became a joke in the office. It was horrible.

Karen

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

I definately think that it is a choice that you make each day. My MIL will never be happy.

Lori

 

[Jodi1980]

It seems like if you think of every bad situation (except for perhaps a death in the family) as it could be worst, things may not be so depressing to you - it works for me.

 

[Stepharoonie!]

I don't know. I'm sure there is always something you can do to improve things and make yourself happy....

 

[joats]

I think some people aren't even aware that they have a choice...just stuck in the "poor me" victim mentality. I definitely know a few people who are NEVER happy. It's pretty sad.

 

[debster812]

Toxic Personalities can become a self fulfilling prophecy. I work with a very VERY toxic person. She hates her job, she hates people in general, and many of us specifically, she hates her apartment, hates her car, hates it ALL.

For the longest time I took it personally, but I can't anymore. So now I try to kill her with kindness, I thought I could help. I can't , she is still pretty miserable.

 

[jacksonsmom]

Originally posted by joats
I think some people aren't even aware that they have a choice...just stuck in the "poor me" victim mentality. .

That is my MIL to a "T"
She will never be happy. Even at DH's and my wedding she sat there with a sour look on her face. Even my great grandmother made a comment on it.

Example: you will ask her where she wants to eat. Says "Oh I don't care" and then you are trying to get her to suggest something & finally you say "OK we are going here" and then she complains about your choice!!!
(this didn't happen to DH & I personally, but my SIL told me that is what MIL did when BIL & SIL took her out to eat)

Honestly, DH & I decided that we don't NEED that kind of negativity in our lives or our son's life, so we rarely see her anymore.
We see her around the Christmas holidays & that really is about it.
Of course she spends 99% of the time complaining about anything & everything!

I don't think I ever seen the lady smile or laugh....pretty sad when you really think about it.

 

[palmtreegirl]

Originally posted by Pembo
I think my sil has made that choice. UGH!

Mine too! All she does is complain, she even complained constantly on our WDW trip, we'll never vacation with them again.

 

[izzy]

My brother is like that, too! We always say that he's not happy unless he's not happy. It's quite the joke in our family. No one wants to go out to a restaurant to eat with him because something ALWAYS goes wrong with his meal and he complains the whole time. I swear that he has a black cloud over his head all the time!

 

[chell]

No, I don't think they all make that choice. They may not realize it. You don't know what their past holds or what they may be battling inside. I've seen this happen to several people I love and they never even realized what they were doing.

 

[Micca]

Barring catastrophic circumstances, it's a choice

 

[Keli]

I believe it's definitely at choice but as others have said--often people don't realize they have a choice.

 

[yodasdabomb]

Originally posted by Keli
I believe it's definitely at choice but as others have said--often people don't realize they have a choice.

I definatly think it is a choice. I used to be really bad at this. I definatly grew up around it and when I realized I was doing it I made a concious decision to stop. It is a funny thing being negative takes so much energy out of you. Once I started to look for the bright side of things and go back to smiling just to smile my days became a lot better and I started having a lot more fun at places I used to hate. Every now and then I get in a bad mood and get caught up in being negative but the difference between the way I am now and how I was is like night and day. Believe it or not I think that a lot of people don't know that they are being negative all the time. Sometimes it takes someone to point it out politely or not so politely as a friend of mine did !! Sometimes the truth hurts but it can change everything haha

Anyway sorry for the rambling

 

[Planogirl]

Sometimes these angry people are depressed and then they don't really have a choice unless they get help. And sometimes people have real problems and don't handle them well.

Things are not ALWAYS so cut and dried.

 

[VampHeartless]

Suffering from depression, I can honestly say that it's not always a choice. Sometimes I can talk myself up, motivate myself, say there's world's great, my life is great, and be kind and nice to everyone in it.

But somedays, I can't get out of bed because there doesn't seem to be a point. I can't move or eat or do much of anything, besides lay there and think of how bad things can be or have been. A person with depression cannot talk themselves out of it, like people think. It's not so simple.

Sometimes I wish the world would understand, when I'm having a day like that...

So there's something to consider the next time you feel that a person you're speaking with isn't going entirely out of there way to make you feel better.

 

[WDWLVR]

I think it is a choice. There are many that I think are just not "happy" unless they are being miserable.

My MIL is falling more and more into that. She was all upset on Friday night because we sent her Mothers Day gift (a cookie bouquet) early. Didn't take into account that she is working today, and that DH called and asked FIL which day would be best Friday or Saturday and FIL said Friday because they were going out Saturday. I swear no matter what we do lately it isn't good enough for her. Very sad.

 

[Robinrs]

Everyone's situation is so different. It can be physical or emotional, sometimes there is so much we don't know or understand.

If it is not chemical or physical it can definitely be a choice. It is also our choice in how patiently we deal with it. Sometimes all they need is one person to understand, to listen, to care. I've seen people's lives change when they realize that someone was there.

Each one of us have the power to make someone happy. How often do we take the time to do that?

Maybe that should be the question.

God bless,

Robinrs

 

[jacksonsmom]

Originally posted by Robinrs
Sometimes all they need is one person to understand, to listen, to care. I've seen people's lives change when they realize that someone was there.

Each one of us have the power to make someone happy. How often do we take the time to do that?

Maybe that should be the question.

I do know what you are saying but sometimes, like with my MIL, I have tried & tried to be nice to her, be a friend to her.
She still just wants everyone to feel sorry for her.
I know she had a rough life growing up but I think she needs to get past that & stop trying to guilt people into feeling sorry for her.
I also noticed with her, she just hates when others around her are happy. She will always find something to complain about.
Like she is trying to bring you down with her.

I think with her she is choosing to be that way.
People have went out of their way to include her in things & such, it doesn't matter. She is still very unhappy and very negative about everything in life.

That is why DH & I finally said "enough" We don't want our son around such a negative person like that.