Peeps 2. The Sweaty Asian Strikes Back. Pt 2. Feb '10. 2/21-Final Chapter. Link to TR

[jordanyosh]

I was looking for a new dishwasher at home depot yesterday when I spied the paint counter. After a quick security check, I mosied on over to grab a few mickey heads.....but there weren't any!!!!

Not even a display of disney paint! My first thought was Jordan was right! They are getting rid of them.

Just as I was about to go beserk and demand an explanation from the clueless paint lady, D.Jay told me to calm down because we were at Lowe's not Home Depot.

whew!

you didn't remember what store you were in? brainfart

 

[jordanyosh]

When you work around a pool, you get creative in mentioning poop.
raise the brown flag, code brown, Baby Ruth, you get the idea.

It is probably one of the few jobs where dealing with poop comes up in the interview

This is too funny!

Raise the brown flag I think is my favorite.

All you West Coasters make my mornings happy with all the chatter to catch up with. Thanks

i had 2 pages when I woke up this afternoon.

 

[glennbo123]

All this urinal talk is making me nervous. I CANNOT pee at a urinal in general.
I go into the stall. Those pig trough urinals are the WORST. they usually have them at older stadiums. There isn't any room for personal space. You can be standing shoulder to shoulder, actually almost touching. It gives me the willies.

Yeah, the only time I had trouble was at halftime of a football game. And I had to GO, but couldn't, because everyone was lined up about 6 people deep behind each urinal. I imagined they were thinking, "c'mon man, pee and get outta there". I gave up and went to a stall. TMI?

 

[jordanyosh]

Maybe it's because I only got 2 hours of sleep last night, but I'm beginning to get nervous about visiting the powder room durring one of our dis meets.

Everyone here knows way too much about my potty preferences....I keep imagining Jordy, Rosie and Cherie doing a play by play like sportscasters from monday night football.


Cherie- looks like winkers is headed for the ladies room. Will it be a long or short pit stop?

Rosie- She's walking into the first stall....oh, wait. She made a last second move when she found a wet toilet seat....she's making her way to another stall now.

Jordan- wow! I didn't know the ladies rooms were so clean and fresh smelling!

cherie- there she goes, she's made the selection, third stall from the door. She's walking in, the door is closing...

Rosie- will she use the paper seat covers that never stay in place or will she line the seat with t.p.? She's using the t.p. method

Jordan- it's time for the courtesy flush.....

Rosie-sounds like she got an over active toilet that flushes repeatedly giving more of a bidet effect.

Cherie- I'm on pins and needles waiting to see what method of t.p. use she will use.....ohhhh..she's folding, no wait! I see some scrunching going on!

Jordan-with that technique I see toilet paper animals in her future!

cherie-now the big question....will she use adult wipes? I'm betting 10 to 1 that she does.

Rosie- she's standing, adjusting the clothes, now it's time for the flush. This is the dangerous part folks.

Jordan- dangerous is putting it mildly! Winkers isn't known for her agility or balance. The foot flusher can be a tricky play .

Cherie- there she goes....it looks like a scene from the Karate kid, one foot on the ground the other raised in the air in the crane position........

Rosie-success! We have a succesful crane flush! she's leaving the stall

Jordan-now, how will she wash her hands? Will she use a paper towel to turn the water on?

Does that mean I have to actually go into the women's restroom or can I stand by the door and hold it open so the whole restaurant can hear what's going on.....

 

[jordanyosh]

These types of revelations won't hook a girlfriend anytime soon.

Maybe it's part of my evil plan to stay single...

I prefer to think of it as strategic planning.



btw...thank you for your incredibly lovely compliment over on Liesa's thread it was a lovely thing to read right before going to bed last night.

I wholeheartedly mean that Cynthia. Your wisdom is refreshing.

Thankfully my poofs are not musical.

Silent and deadly.

Just don't walk behind me while hiking.

There is a reason I don't run.

You and my mom are alike in the silent/deadly mode

thanks for the info!

Someone needs to tape the table conversation at Kouzzina...a little YouTube is in order I'm thinking.

hmmmm.......a seed has been planted.

 

[jordanyosh]

Yeah, the only time I had trouble was at halftime of a football game. And I had to GO, but couldn't, because everyone was lined up about 6 people deep behind each urinal. I imagined they were thinking, "c'mon man, pee and get outta there". I gave up and went to a stall. TMI?

It is, but I get it. I for sure try and make sure the pipes are clean before a sporting event. I don't like doing #2 at arenas or stadiums.....

 

[jordanyosh]

Roflmao!!!

I don't think I've laughed that hard in a long while! Between Jordan admitting he dookied in his pants...to Winkers grandma story...my oh my!

What's funny is that my husband knows when I'm laughing/giggling/chuckling, I MUST be on the Dis. And he was so right today. So today he had to come in and read what I'd just read to figure out what was so funny. After reading, he just shook his head, grinned and walked away.

Thanks for making my day!

Thanks to all the nutjobs (i mean that as the highest of compliments) here. It brings out the "best" in me......

 

[jordanyosh]

I proudly display 4 volumes of Uncle John's and the Redneck Bathroom reader on the shelf above the throne.

are those only available online or can i go to Barnes and Noble?

Reminds me of the time my youngest went running up to mom during the middle of church choir practice and yelled “My daddy farted in the car and it made mommy really mad!”

Ha! My dad often lets it loose in the car. My mom and I roll down the windows as we are laughing hysterically. They're soooo putrid. My dad just says "What?" and shrugs his shoulders.

 

[glennbo123]

are those only available online or can i go to Barnes and Noble?

You can get them at Barnes and Noble. I'm not sure what section they're in...I can never find anything in that store on my own...so you may have to ask. Just say "it's for a friend."

 

[jordanyosh]

Jordan I so understand what your mom means. My mother was diagnosed with pancreatic last January, in the beginning she fought like a trooper - even her oncologist would say to her "you don't even look like someone with cancer" well mom lost her battle October 27,2009. 10 months of fighting but I will say it was very hard being her daughter seeing her in the end so frail, so dependant on me or my brother to help in and out of bed, get her medication for her. Tell your mom to keeping praying!!!!!

I'm sorry for your tremendous loss.

Cancer is difficult to face as you see people whither away.

As it's my uncle's 3rd bout. It's getting discouraging.

 

[jordanyosh]

You can get them at Barnes and Noble. I'm not sure what section they're in...I can never find anything in that store on my own...so you may have to ask. Just say "it's for a friend."

HA! A gift for a friend, even better.

 

[jordanyosh]

Great new laptop!

Using it right now.

 

[winkers]

I have performance anxiety. I can't either. I go into a stall. If there are privacy partitions I can muster a steady stream; otherwise, it's a no go. I know TMI.

I think we passed TMI about 2 poop stories and a wiping technique ago.

I

I pray all day. Even on the potty.

.

would that be after eating cheese and red onions?
that reminds me of a line from the fisher king....
it was one of those mystical poops

. You can be standing shoulder to shoulder, actually almost touching. It gives me the willies.

where is the biting you tongue smiley??
where I come from "willie" is another word for something else related to this topic.

you didn't remember what store you were in? brainfart

hey, I'm a woman. All home improvement stores look the same.

Does that mean I have to actually go into the women's restroom or can I stand by the door and hold it open so the whole restaurant can hear what's going on.....

no, you can stand outside the bathroom.....

who knows, I may have another brain fart and forget to turn off the video camera when I go in.

Thanks to all the nutjobs (i mean that as the highest of compliments) here. It brings out the "best" in me......

I have no idea who you're talking about..

 

[glennbo123]

I think we passed TMI about 2 poop stories and a wiping technique ago.

fa sho!

 

[jordanyosh]

I think we passed TMI about 2 poop stories and a wiping technique ago.

fa sho!

I concur.

would that be after eating cheese and red onions?
that reminds me of a line from the fisher king....
it was one of those mystical poops

red onions...oy!

where is the biting you tongue smiley??
where I come from "willie" is another word for something else related to this topic.

I thought about that as I was writing it, but said what the heck and left it in...of course, you caught it....so to speak.

no, you can stand outside the bathroom.....

who knows, I may have another brain fart and forget to turn off the video camera when I go in.

 

[Native NYer]

Hope you're enjoying the weekend, Jordan

Have you tried Cali Grill? Would you recommend it?

 

[jordanyosh]

Hope you're enjoying the weekend, Jordan

Have you tried Cali Grill? Would you recommend it?

I have a meeting tonight, but so far relaxing.

I've been to Cali Grill 4 times. Great restaurant. Great food. Great service. Great views. It is noisy though.

 

[Sleepingbooty]

...... It was embarrassing, but you know what...it felt soooo good.

Okay I gotta run to church...I don't even have time to do the links right now........

OMG I know a couple good stories in the same vein, but I won't tell!

Never actually launched a scud in my britches, but I have had some near misses. I hear you on the preassure...that's when you don't even have to flush...you just shoot it straight down the pipes.

Wow!

I like the way you think!

we could also have a toilet paper scrunch/ folding seminar.

I'll lead the scrunching section. And wet wipes for extra credit.

BATHROOM STATISTICS

• 74% of people read in the bathroom (Go team!); 47% talk on the phone; 11% eat in there.

People eat in the bathroom???!!!

are those only available online or can i go to Barnes and Noble?

Yes, but don't take it into the B&N bathroom to read it. They'll flag you, ala George Costanza!

 

[jordanyosh]

yes, but don't take it into the B&N bathroom to read it. They'll flag you, ala George Costanza!

 

[KathyRN137]

where is the biting you tongue smiley??
where I come from "willie" is another word for something else related to this topic.

I was just thinking the same thing!


Kathy