Peeps 2. The Sweaty Asian Strikes Back. Pt 2. Feb '10. 2/21-Final Chapter. Link to TR

[All7OfUs]

This is my last bathroom story....I promise.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!

 

[englishrose47]

I'm going to go out on a limb and post the other thing I thought of to go with this "theme" we are on (and pray Rosie doesn't get mad at me.) If Rosie can come to this meet we will have the Duchess and the Dookie!!

(her signature says Lady Dole Duchess of Whippington)

OK, that may be too much. I feel like I know you all pretty well by now, but maybe not as well as I think. We'll see.

Who would be my Dook ?? Winkers I am sure you can find me one!

I'm not looking forward to getting old!




you fit in perfectly here!

I am already OLD!!!

I prefer the self flushing ones....except for when you get a hyperactive one that likes to flush every 2 seconds.



maybe we could make towel animals out of t.p.


The dook and Duchess!

Winkers could givelessons on TP animals !!!

I'm thinking we need some Dookie '10 shirts made for next month.
should they be poo brown or baby poo yellow?

I like that idea

I could never use the facilities with someone standing next to me...


unless your my 2 yr old niece who yells at the top of her lungs "I FARTED" in restraunts.



This is my last bathroom story....I promise.

When my mom remarried my mother in law invited herself to the wedding, she had met my mom once before that. So all my family knew about her was the stories I'd tell them.

Anyway, I'm in the bathroom at the church with my mom, sisters and a few other ladies, when my MIL walks in goes into the stall and unleashes something that sounds like a thunderstorm in a metal bucket.

It was baaad. It lasted for several minutes and had us all dying in an effort to not laugh . I had to get a few of the younger girls out of there because they were quickly loosing there control.

Just when we thought the storm had passes, there was another round followed by MIL's voice saying "sorry, when you gotta go, you gotta go".
Which caused more hysterical laughing.

What makes it stranger is there were 2 other bathrooms she could have used, but she chose to unleash the beast in the one with all the women in my family.[/QUOTE

I LOVE all the Dookie tales !!

My internet was down last night so I fell asleep watching CRIMINAL MINDS !!

Now much as I love all the POO talk and the I have to share a AAW moment

Kyle earned STUDENT OF THE MONTH for December!!!

 

[PopArtGal]

What???? No more Mickey paint chips? Noooooooo. It made the company so unique.

 

[All7OfUs]

Congratulations, Kyle!!!!


Great job!!!

 

[winkers]

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!

I know you love all the potty humor.

Kyle earned STUDENT OF THE MONTH for December!!!

a big woohooty for Kyle! Isn't that cause for another disney trip?

 

[wirki]

This is my last bathroom story....I promise.

When my mom remarried my mother in law invited herself to the wedding, she had met my mom once before that. So all my family knew about her was the stories I'd tell them.

Anyway, I'm in the bathroom at the church with my mom, sisters and a few other ladies, when my MIL walks in goes into the stall and unleashes something that sounds like a thunderstorm in a metal bucket.

It was baaad. It lasted for several minutes and had us all dying in an effort to not laugh . I had to get a few of the younger girls out of there because they were quickly loosing there control.

Just when we thought the storm had passes, there was another round followed by MIL's voice saying "sorry, when you gotta go, you gotta go".
Which caused more hysterical laughing.

What makes it stranger is there were 2 other bathrooms she could have used, but she chose to unleash the beast in the one with all the women in my family.

OMG.....I am laughing so hard I am crying

 

[PopArtGal]

You raise an excellent point. Perhaps it was Freudian? I’ve certainly floated my fair share of them. And I’m apparently more well known for it than I thought.

A few weeks back, as I was coming into church, one of the ushers pulled me aside and said “I need to talk to you.” He seemed grave so of course I’m thinking things like the pastor is sick and I have to fill in, the video projector died, we blew an AC unit, you know, things I’ve had to deal with in the past. Then he says “I saw this in the store and felt you needed to have it.” He then reaches into his pocket and hands me this.

Yep. It’s a pocket sized electronic Whoopee cushion. He then cracked up and we had a good laugh over it, I stuck it in my pocket and life went on. About an hour later, we’re about midway through the morning service and it’s time for family prayer. During this portion of the service, the staff pastors all go down front to pray with anyone that requests it. I happened to be on the far right side and, an older gentleman asked me to pray for him for his upcoming surgery. (By this time I had completely forgotten I had the mini-poofer in my pocket. Raise your hand if you know where this is going.)

So I went to kneel down and my pants leg pulled tight against my pocket and set the thing off. Of course it scared me at first and I sort of lurched a bit and landed a little harder than I planned. I figured I should try to recover as best as possible so I stretched out that leg a bit hoping to give it some slack. This resulted in an encore performance. As I pondered ways to kill an usher, I tried moving my leg again and it went off a third time. That’s when it struck my that perhaps pumping my leg around while this particular sound effect was being broadcast was probably not going to help sell the concept that this was artificial. I finally reached into my pocket and retrieved it and stuffed it in a Kleenex box behind the altar where it went off a fourth time.

By now, it was too late to regain composure as the first two rows on that side were deep in the throws of stifled chuckles. The man who came down never batted and eye and somehow I managed to choke out a prayer without a full fledged guffaw.

His surgery was a success so I guess it's a good thing the Lord has a sense of humor.

hahaha

It reminds me of my cousin's first communion. During his sermon, the priest said that sometimes we need a sense of humour. Prayer doesn't need to be like a life or death situation. That we need to relax a bit, and enjoy it.

 

[glennbo123]

What???? No more Mickey paint chips? Noooooooo. It made the company so unique.

Oh no.....don't get this ugly rumor started again!

After a run on MHPC's by DISers nationwide, it has been determined that they are not being discontinued.

We won't point any fingers as to where the rumor got started....

 

[MRYPPNS]

I'll have to a sleepless night soon so I can get caught back up....thanks for the link.

 

[punkin413]

74% of people read in the bathroom (Go team!)

11% eat in there.

ew.

When watching the Super Bowl, 38% of viewers go to the bathroom during the commercials, so they won't miss the game; 23% go during the game, so they won't miss the commercials.

i would be of the latter population.

60% are annoyed by scratchy toilet paper in public restrooms.

what annoys me is that they use the less-than-paper thin one-ply toilet paper on a mile-long roll and when you try to get some off the roll it tears one sheet at a time because the dang roll is so flippin' heavy!

They should have a category...I flush if I am going to let one loose so it hides the sound of the poof.....

it's called the courtesy flush. i'm a big fan.

Here's another one I liked. The Washington Post had a game, challenging people to pick a word and add, subtract, or alter a single letter to give it a new meaning. One of the words submitted was:

Urinpal. A guy who uses the one next to you even though all the others are unoccupied.

i have never understood this. in a bathroom with 5 stalls, in i'm the far right one with no one else using any of the others, then someone comes in and instead of going towards the left side of the room, they get in the stall right next to me. that's just weird!

unless your my 2 yr old niece who yells at the top of her lungs "I FARTED" in restraunts.

luke did this once. me, anna and luke went to savannah for a weekend trip in october 2006. he was only 2-and-a-half years old. well, we ate breakfast at shoney's breakfast bar one day and i went to use the potty when we were done. i got in, did my business, then was at the sink washing my hands when anna and luke came in. both stalls were occupied so they were waiting. this pour soul was having some very loud "issues" in her stall and she kept letting these monster farts loose. of course luke thought that was the funniest thing and since he could SEE ME at the sink washing my hands, he kept laughing the booming laugh that only a two-year-old can pull off and screaming, "DAWN POOTED!!!!!!" we all had to leave before that poor lady came out of the stall because we were mortified for her.

This is my last bathroom story....I promise.

me, too.

 

[englishrose47]

I know you love all the potty humor.




a big woohooty for Kyle! Isn't that cause for another disney trip?

Potty humor is GUD!!!
Thanks for Kyles woohooty!!

Oh no.....don't get this ugly rumor started again!

After a run on MHPC's by DISers nationwide, it has been determined that they are not being discontinued.

We won't point any fingers as to where the rumor got started....

I'll POINT !! He recently returned from a Youth Group Retreat !!!

 

[glennbo123]

i have never understood this. in a bathroom with 5 stalls, in i'm the far right one with no one else using any of the others, then someone comes in and instead of going towards the left side of the room, they get in the stall right next to me. that's just weird!

It's even weirder at a urinal, with no walls.

 

[punkin413]

It's even weirder at a urinal, with no walls.

i bet! although there are many curses to deal with in womanhood, i am thankful that i don't have to pee in front of others. the only time i've had to do this in my adult life was when i got married and i had to have help holding up my wedding dress!

 

[winkers]

Oh no.....don't get this ugly rumor started again!

After a run on MHPC's by DISers nationwide, it has been determined that they are not being discontinued.

We won't point any fingers as to where the rumor got started....

I was looking for a new dishwasher at home depot yesterday when I spied the paint counter. After a quick security check, I mosied on over to grab a few mickey heads.....but there weren't any!!!!

Not even a display of disney paint! My first thought was Jordan was right! They are getting rid of them.

Just as I was about to go beserk and demand an explanation from the clueless paint lady, D.Jay told me to calm down because we were at Lowe's not Home Depot.

whew!

 

[Poolrat]

very clever

When you work around a pool, you get creative in mentioning poop.
raise the brown flag, code brown, Baby Ruth, you get the idea.

It is probably one of the few jobs where dealing with poop comes up in the interview

I prefer the self flushing ones....except for when you get a hyperactive one that likes to flush every 2 seconds.

We had one last week that would not stop. One lovely manager locked up one night with it still going. Spray everywhere the next morning. That was a clean up in aisle 4 moment.


All you West Coasters make my mornings happy with all the chatter to catch up with. Thanks

 

[winkers]

It's even weirder at a urinal, with no walls.

I would hold it till I exploded.....or maybe just have a catheter.

I just can't imagine the whole urinal situation...how do yo not look at the person next to you? it's just human nature to look at someone that close to you.

 

[winkers]

Maybe it's because I only got 2 hours of sleep last night, but I'm beginning to get nervous about visiting the powder room durring one of our dis meets.

Everyone here knows way too much about my potty preferences....I keep imagining Jordy, Rosie and Cherie doing a play by play like sportscasters from monday night football.


Cherie- looks like winkers is headed for the ladies room. Will it be a long or short pit stop?

Rosie- She's walking into the first stall....oh, wait. She made a last second move when she found a wet toilet seat....she's making her way to another stall now.

Jordan- wow! I didn't know the ladies rooms were so clean and fresh smelling!

cherie- there she goes, she's made the selection, third stall from the door. She's walking in, the door is closing...

Rosie- will she use the paper seat covers that never stay in place or will she line the seat with t.p.? She's using the t.p. method

Jordan- it's time for the courtesy flush.....

Rosie-sounds like she got an over active toilet that flushes repeatedly giving more of a bidet effect.

Cherie- I'm on pins and needles waiting to see what method of t.p. use she will use.....ohhhh..she's folding, no wait! I see some scrunching going on!

Jordan-with that technique I see toilet paper animals in her future!

cherie-now the big question....will she use adult wipes? I'm betting 10 to 1 that she does.

Rosie- she's standing, adjusting the clothes, now it's time for the flush. This is the dangerous part folks.

Jordan- dangerous is putting it mildly! Winkers isn't known for her agility or balance. The foot flusher can be a tricky play .

Cherie- there she goes....it looks like a scene from the Karate kid, one foot on the ground the other raised in the air in the crane position........

Rosie-success! We have a succesful crane flush! she's leaving the stall

Jordan-now, how will she wash her hands? Will she use a paper towel to turn the water on?

 

[Brenle]

I've used my pants more than once.

These types of revelations won't hook a girlfriend anytime soon.

 

[eandesmom]

again your gift of wisdom shows....

women do have better control....

I prefer to think of it as strategic planning.



btw...thank you for your incredibly lovely compliment over on Liesa's thread it was a lovely thing to read right before going to bed last night.

My thought exactly! I always flush before a launch. Don't want any "funny" looks as I exit my stall. Interestingly, one of my funniest childhood memories of Disneyland was laughing until I cried at some poor old soul who ripped the most musical fart EVER in the stall next to me. She totally should have given the water a send-off, cuz I know she KNEW all of Main Street was cracking up!

Too bad I'm one of those "old souls" now.

See I know I'm old as I just don't care what y'all hear in there. I'm flushing AFTER thank you very much, there might be more than one and I have multiple flushes as it is...at times.

Of course if K is in the bathroom with me, well then that's a different story. I just don't care about everyone else.

Thankfully my poofs are not musical.

Silent and deadly.

Just don't walk behind me while hiking.

There is a reason I don't run.

Great idea!! Brown with the yellow lettering.

You know I'd make you guys a design but somehow tht might fall under the offensive category of T -Shirts that CM's might yell at you about so I'm not going there...

since we're on the dookie in the pants subject......
for the record, I'd like it stated that it wasn't me who started this whole subject......

I was around 7 and had been shopping with my grandma. I love her dearly, but that woman had gass more than any one I've ever met. I mean, it was bad, her steps were usualy punctuated with a toot. seriously. that. bad.
all the cousins used to have fun imitating her distinct sound...you won if you get make everyone else laugh.

It's still a joke in our family.

So, this one day on our way back from town, Grandma was making a few more noises than usual...they sounded pretty juicy.

As soon as we pulled into the drive way, she hopped out of the car and started running to the house as she called directions over her shoulder for my sister and I to bring the groceries in.

Her running was funny enough, because as she put it she was the original "weeble". She also never wore underwear and wore polyester pant suit things she made for herself that had very wide legs.

I remember looking at my sister wondering what bee had got in Grandma's bonnet.

As we started to walk up the sidewalk we noticed little brown "plops" about every foot. It looked like she had a hershey kiss maker in her pants that went haywire.

we followed the hershey kiss trail into the house, down the hall, into the bedroom and to the bathroom door. I do believe that was the first time I ever laughed so hard I cried.

and EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW

I was looking for a new dishwasher at home depot yesterday when I spied the paint counter. After a quick security check, I mosied on over to grab a few mickey heads.....but there weren't any!!!!

Not even a display of disney paint! My first thought was Jordan was right! They are getting rid of them.

Just as I was about to go beserk and demand an explanation from the clueless paint lady, D.Jay told me to calm down because we were at Lowe's not Home Depot.

whew!

that is SO something I would do!

Maybe it's because I only got 2 hours of sleep last night, but I'm beginning to get nervous about visiting the powder room durring one of our dis meets.

Everyone here knows way too much about my potty preferences....I keep imagining Jordy, Rosie and Cherie doing a play by play like sportscasters from monday night football.


Cherie- looks like winkers is headed for the ladies room. Will it be a long or short pit stop?

Rosie- She's walking into the first stall....oh, wait. She made a last second move when she found a wet toilet seat....she's making her way to another stall now.

Jordan- wow! I didn't know the ladies rooms were so clean and fresh smelling!

cherie- there she goes, she's made the selection, third stall from the door. She's walking in, the door is closing...

Rosie- will she use the paper seat covers that never stay in place or will she line the seat with t.p.? She's using the t.p. method

Jordan- it's time for the courtesy flush.....

Rosie-sounds like she got an over active toilet that flushes repeatedly giving more of a bidet effect.

Cherie- I'm on pins and needles waiting to see what method of t.p. use she will use.....ohhhh..she's folding, no wait! I see some scrunching going on!

Jordan-with that technique I see toilet paper animals in her future!

cherie-now the big question....will she use adult wipes? I'm betting 10 to 1 that she does.

Rosie- she's standing, adjusting the clothes, now it's time for the flush. This is the dangerous part folks.

Jordan- dangerous is putting it mildly! Winkers isn't known for her agility or balance. The foot flusher can be a tricky play .

Cherie- there she goes....it looks like a scene from the Karate kid, one foot on the ground the other raised in the air in the crane position........

Rosie-success! We have a succesful crane flush! she's leaving the stall

Jordan-now, how will she wash her hands? Will she use a paper towel to turn the water on?

Someone needs to tape the table conversation at Kouzzina...a little YouTube is in order I'm thinking.

 

[winkers]

These types of revelations won't hook a girlfriend anytime soon.