Peeps 2. The Sweaty Asian Strikes Back. Pt 2. Feb '10. 2/21-Final Chapter. Link to TR

[WendyO]

Would that be a regular spoon, or a spork?

Ok, this is only going to be funny to me and Jordan because in the 1996 "I'll never travel with her again" year, Jordan's friend and I had a whole discussion about the qualities of various types of plastic spoons from around the World. There IS a difference between "picnic-ware" and "heavy duty plastic ware". Don't get me started. Hee hee hee.

Of course, when her daughter came back home, poor thing didn't understand why she wasn't a celeb anymore. Now I make a point to ask her for her autograph and a picture just to make her day.

So funny! I can just see her..."Mother, where are my "people"?"

You are probably right. I will really be smiling next year at Christmas when it is hanging on the wall of her "non-Disney" house and I point it out to her.

That's the best! It's your secret victory... she'll be appalled it's been in her house the whole year! Hee hee hee.

I think Jordan would still have a chance for the Presidency as long as he sticks with the story that he did NOT inhale between the car and the clean up. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

Classic! So awful, it's great!

i do have to share this one. ray has several dookie stories but he'd kill me if i shared any of the others. one time my mom and grandparents were visiting us. my grandparents always stay in a nearby hotel and my mom usually stays at our house. well, we had all gone out to eat at some crappy buffet that my grandparents wanted to go to. of course with a lot of those types of buffets they have all the preservatives in the food that make your stomach go nuts. well, ray left to go home in our car and i stayed at the hotel with my mom and grandparents a little while longer. then as me and my mom were getting in her car to drive back to our house, my phone rings. it's ray. he says, "where are you?" i said, "we are leaving. we'll be there in a few." he goes, "um....can you stall? she can't come in our house yet." i was like, "why?????" he goes, "because i thought i could make it to the bathroom but i couldn't and there's a mess all in our laundry room floor. i have the dogs locked up in the other bathroom so they wouldn't get near it and they are barking like crazy and i have to get this cleaned up." i was like, "um....sure." so i took my mom to show her the new high school football field and said i needed to stop by kroger to get some milk or something. then we headed home. as we walked in i almost fainted from the smell of lysol. he pulled me into the bedroom and said, "does it smell bad in there?" i was like, "no...just like poop covered with tons of lysol."

I was around 7 and had been shopping with my grandma. I love her dearly, but that woman had gass more than any one I've ever met. I mean, it was bad, her steps were usualy punctuated with a toot. seriously. that. bad. all the cousins used to have fun imitating her distinct sound...you won if you get make everyone else laugh.
It's still a joke in our family.
So, this one day on our way back from town, Grandma was making a few more noises than usual...they sounded pretty juicy.
As soon as we pulled into the drive way, she hopped out of the car and started running to the house as she called directions over her shoulder for my sister and I to bring the groceries in.
Her running was funny enough, because as she put it she was the original "weeble". She also never wore underwear and wore polyester pant suit things she made for herself that had very wide legs.
I remember looking at my sister wondering what bee had got in Grandma's bonnet.
As we started to walk up the sidewalk we noticed little brown "plops" about every foot. It looked like she had a hershey kiss maker in her pants that went haywire.
we followed the hershey kiss trail into the house, down the hall, into the bedroom and to the bathroom door. I do believe that was the first time I ever laughed so hard I cried.

Now this has got to be one of the grossest (albeit FUNNIEST ) tangents this thread has gone on... I fear the other dookie stories that I know are coming... ha ha ha.

 

[winkers]

I'm thinking we need some Dookie '10 shirts made for next month.
should they be poo brown or baby poo yellow?

 

[Poolrat]

are the highlighted words in reference to anything in particular.....

I can't imagine what

I chose the color especiallyfor this occasion.

 

[WendyO]

I'm thinking we need some Dookie '10 shirts made for next month.
should they be poo brown or baby poo yellow?

Can they be scratch n' sniff?

Ok, this thread just took an ugly turn...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

 

[winkers]

Can they be scratch n' sniff?

:

ewwww!

I guess it would be ok as long as the scratch n'sniff part wasn't on the bum.

 

[jordanyosh]

I'm thinking we need some Dookie '10 shirts made for next month.
should they be poo brown or baby poo yellow?

Can they be scratch n' sniff?

Ok, this thread just took an ugly turn...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

ewwww!

I guess it would be ok as long as the scratch n'sniff part wasn't on the bum.

I already scratch my bum....

 

[jordanyosh]

I can't imagine what

I chose the color especiallyfor this occasion.

very clever

 

[winkers]

I already scratch my bum....

do you sniff also? or is that just when you miss the t.p.?

 

[captainj]

I'm thinking we need some Dookie '10 shirts made for next month.
should they be poo brown or baby poo yellow?

Ok, if you don't get them together in time for next month, definitely for the 2012 trip. Maybe a "Remember the Dookie Thread" meet near Jordan's favorite restroom??? Everyone could bring wet wipes in honor of this thread.

 

[winkers]

Ok, if you don't get them together in time for next month, definitely for the 2012 trip. Maybe a "Remember the Dookie Thread" meet near Jordan's favorite restroom??? Everyone could bring wet wipes in honor of this thread.

I like the way you think!

we could also have a toilet paper scrunch/ folding seminar.

 

[punkin413]

I was around 7 and had been shopping with my grandma. I love her dearly, but that woman had gass more than any one I've ever met. I mean, it was bad, her steps were usualy punctuated with a toot. seriously. that. bad.

i'm not a huge larry the cable guy fan but that made me think of this. it's hilarious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-ERfm8qJQU

by the way, the hershey kiss story is priceless!!! your poor grandmother. my grandpa did something like this one time. he didn't make it to the bathroom at my grandparents' farmhouse. i was probably about 10 and i had no idea what he had just done. he was sitting on the toilet and i came strolling in the front door. he had the bathroom door open and he started yelling, "no, go back, go back!!!! get your granny!!!!" as i was running back outside i noticed the lumps of dookie on the floor.

What kind of preservatives do they put in that food? Ex-lax?

you never know. lots of elderly people do frequent the place so it's a possibility.

 

[captainj]

I like the way you think!

we could also have a toilet paper scrunch/ folding seminar.

I'm going to go out on a limb and post the other thing I thought of to go with this "theme" we are on (and pray Rosie doesn't get mad at me.) If Rosie can come to this meet we will have the Duchess and the Dookie!!

(her signature says Lady Dole Duchess of Whippington)

OK, that may be too much. I feel like I know you all pretty well by now, but maybe not as well as I think. We'll see.

 

[glennbo123]

All right. With the abundance of potty talk on here tonight, I'll post something I happened to read today in one my favorite tomes: the Uncle John's Bathroom Reader series. The Uncle John's Slightly Irregular Bathroom Reader, to be exact.

Page 454 is titled "Bathroom Statistics" and it goes something like this (I'm soooo tempted to include editorial comments, but I'll try to refrain, and just type away.)

BATHROOM STATISTICS

At Home

• 30% of people suffer from nocturia -- they have to get up at least once a night to pee.
• 74% of people read in the bathroom (Go team!); 47% talk on the phone; 11% eat in there.
• Top five pet peeves of sharing a bathroom:
  1. Not replacing the toilet paper when it runs out.
  2. Leaving the seat up (according to women). Too many cosmetics on the counter (according to men).
  3. Leaving toothpaste globs in the sink.
  4. Leaving spots on the mirror.
  5. Leaving dirty clothes on the floor.
• When watching the Super Bowl, 38% of viewers go to the bathroom during the commercials, so they won't miss the game; 23% go during the game, so they won't miss the commercials.

Away From Home

• 74% perform some type of "maintenance" task -- wiping the seat, flushing, putting down a seat cover -- before using a public toilet. Nearly a third say they bring their own materials -- Kleenex, sanitizing wipes, etc. -- to perform the task.
• 7% suffer from paruresis -- shy bladder syndrome.
• 40% flush restroom toilets with their feet instead of their hands.
• 38% of people say they've peeked into someone else's medicine cabinet. (4% of these snoops say they were caught in the act.)

Paper Trail

• Most valued quality in toilet paper: softness (absorbency is #2).
• Survey respondents are almost equally divided on how they use toilet paper: 51% "crumple or wad" it; 49% "fold" it.
• 60% are annoyed by scratchy toilet paper in public restrooms.

 

[Blueyed Girl]

That was great!! I'm definintely a public restroom foot flusher. No way am I touching that thing with my hand.

 

[jordanyosh]

do you sniff also? or is that just when you miss the t.p.?

only when i miss the tp...

Ok, if you don't get them together in time for next month, definitely for the 2012 trip. Maybe a "Remember the Dookie Thread" meet near Jordan's favorite restroom??? Everyone could bring wet wipes in honor of this thread.

too funny

I like the way you think!

we could also have a toilet paper scrunch/ folding seminar.

that can be a new activity at Pop. They can alternate between that and Towel Animal making...

I'm going to go out on a limb and post the other thing I thought of to go with this "theme" we are on (and pray Rosie doesn't get mad at me.) If Rosie can come to this meet we will have the Duchess and the Dookie!!

(her signature says Lady Dole Duchess of Whippington)

OK, that may be too much. I feel like I know you all pretty well by now, but maybe not as well as I think. We'll see.

you're on a roll....or just shorten dookie to dook. The Dook and Duchess.

 

[jordanyosh]

you never know. lots of elderly people do frequent the place so it's a possibility.

you're so right.

 

[winkers]

i'm not a huge larry the cable guy fan but that made me think of this. it's hilarious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-ERfm8qJQU

by the way, the hershey kiss story is priceless!!! your poor grandmother. my grandpa did something like this one time. he didn't make it to the bathroom at my grandparents' farmhouse. i was probably about 10 and i had no idea what he had just done. he was sitting on the toilet and i came strolling in the front door. he had the bathroom door open and he started yelling, "no, go back, go back!!!! get your granny!!!!" as i was running back outside i noticed the lumps of dookie on the floor.


.

I'm not looking forward to getting old!

I'm going to go out on a limb and post the other thing I thought of to go with this "theme" we are on (and pray Rosie doesn't get mad at me.) If Rosie can come to this meet we will have the Duchess and the Dookie!!

(her signature says Lady Dole Duchess of Whippington)

OK, that may be too much. I feel like I know you all pretty well by now, but maybe not as well as I think. We'll see.

you fit in perfectly here!

All right. With the abundance of potty talk on here tonight, I'll post something I happened to read today in one my favorite tomes: the Uncle John's Bathroom Reader series. The Uncle John's Slightly Irregular Bathroom Reader, to be exact.

Page 454 is titled "Bathroom Statistics" and it goes something like this (I'm soooo tempted to include editorial comments, but I'll try to refrain, and just type away.)ahh, c'mon, you know you want to share

BATHROOM STATISTICS

At Home

• 30% of people suffer from nocturia -- they have to get up at least once a night to pee.I believe this disorder is caused by child bearing or old age
• 74% of people read in the bathroom (Go team!); 47% talk on the phone; 11% eat in there.eww...someone eats while they're on the throne?
• Top five pet peeves of sharing a bathroom:
  1. Not replacing the toilet paper when it runs out.I have a bathroom sign that says....REPLACING THE TOILET PAPER ROLL DOES NOT CAUSE BRAIN DAMAGE
  2. Leaving the seat up (according to women). Too many cosmetics on the counter (according to men).I insist that the lid be down also
  3. Leaving toothpaste globs in the sink.
  4. Leaving spots on the mirror.
  5. Leaving dirty clothes on the floor.
• When watching the Super Bowl, 38% of viewers go to the bathroom during the commercials, so they won't miss the game;there's actually a football game in between the commercials?
  
  
  23% go during the game, so they won't miss the commercials.

Away From Home

• 74% perform some type of "maintenance" task -- wiping the seat, flushing, putting down a seat cover -- before using a public toilet. Nearly a third say they bring their own materials -- Kleenex, sanitizing wipes, etc. -- to perform the task.
• 7% suffer from paruresis -- shy bladder syndrome.yep..can't have anyone hearing me...
• 40% flush restroom toilets with their feet instead of their hands.that would be me....one of these days I'm going to fall over and get my foot stuck in the toilet
• 38% of people say they've peeked into someone else's medicine cabinet. (4% of these snoops say they were caught in the act.)

doesn't everyone...if they're honest.

Paper Trail

• Most valued quality in toilet paper: softness (absorbency is #2).it should feel like a pillow
• Survey respondents are almost equally divided on how they use toilet paper: 51% "crumple or wad" it; 49% "fold" it.
• 60% are annoyed by scratchy toilet paper in public restrooms.

 

[jordanyosh]

All right. With the abundance of potty talk on here tonight, I'll post something I happened to read today in one my favorite tomes: the Uncle John's Bathroom Reader series. The Uncle John's Slightly Irregular Bathroom Reader, to be exact.

Page 454 is titled "Bathroom Statistics" and it goes something like this (I'm soooo tempted to include editorial comments, but I'll try to refrain, and just type away.)

BATHROOM STATISTICS

At Home

• 30% of people suffer from nocturia -- they have to get up at least once a night to pee.
• 74% of people read in the bathroom (Go team!); 47% talk on the phone; 11% eat in there.
• Top five pet peeves of sharing a bathroom:
  1. Not replacing the toilet paper when it runs out.
  2. Leaving the seat up (according to women). Too many cosmetics on the counter (according to men).
  3. Leaving toothpaste globs in the sink.
  4. Leaving spots on the mirror.
  5. Leaving dirty clothes on the floor.
• When watching the Super Bowl, 38% of viewers go to the bathroom during the commercials, so they won't miss the game; 23% go during the game, so they won't miss the commercials.

Away From Home

• 74% perform some type of "maintenance" task -- wiping the seat, flushing, putting down a seat cover -- before using a public toilet. Nearly a third say they bring their own materials -- Kleenex, sanitizing wipes, etc. -- to perform the task.
• 7% suffer from paruresis -- shy bladder syndrome.
• 40% flush restroom toilets with their feet instead of their hands.
• 38% of people say they've peeked into someone else's medicine cabinet. (4% of these snoops say they were caught in the act.)

Paper Trail

• Most valued quality in toilet paper: softness (absorbency is #2).
• Survey respondents are almost equally divided on how they use toilet paper: 51% "crumple or wad" it; 49% "fold" it.
• 60% are annoyed by scratchy toilet paper in public restrooms.

That was great!! I'm definintely a public restroom foot flusher. No way am I touching that thing with my hand.

I am a foot flusher as well. I do wipe the toilet seat...

 

[winkers]

That was great!! I'm definintely a public restroom foot flusher. No way am I touching that thing with my hand.

I prefer the self flushing ones....except for when you get a hyperactive one that likes to flush every 2 seconds.

that can be a new activity at Pop. They can alternate between that and Towel Animal making...



you're on a roll....or just shorten dookie to dook. The Dook and Duchess.

maybe we could make towel animals out of t.p.


The dook and Duchess!

 

[jordanyosh]

They should have a category...I flush if I am going to let one loose so it hides the sound of the poof.....