Paying to attend birthday party?

[AprilShowers]

Well thanks for the validation! I was beginning to think I was the crazy one!! LOL.
For those of you who think it's no big deal, would you do it? Or have you asked others to pay to attend your child's bday party?

 

[JoiseyMom]

Wow..I have never heard of this! I can see if you have a younger sibling that you "must" bring, and paying for them. Not that you should bring anyone else.

I don't think I would pay for my child to go to a party. ANd if I did, the present would reflect the "cost" of attendance!!

If you throw a party, you pay!

 

[powellrj]

I guess I have had it happen so often it doesn't even register on my radar anymore. Its pretty common to have to pay something when the party is at a venue. My DD is 13 now and the thing to do is go to the movie and all the girls pay their own way and pay for the birthday girl too. Not sure who started this little trend, but I do know thats what they all seem to do now.

I am still trying to get over the $25 gift for a kids party. In all the years we have been hosting and attending kids parties, I have never seen anyone other than family give that kind of a gift. Most seem to be in the $5-$10 range.

Maybe we are a more depressed area is why its not uncommon for the kids to pay their own way.

 

[pearlieq]

So tacky! If you can't afford to host your guests for whatever event you want, don't do it. No one is entitled to lavish birthday parties or birthday trips. You can have cake and ice cream at home with your friends for under $20.

Plus, asking guests to cover $7 each is just cheap and petty. You belong to a swim club and you can't pay $7 per kid? Any party place would charge at least that, even more.

It's even worse among adults. People seem to think nothing of inviting other to buy them dinner, under the guise of the "birthday dinner" or to subsidze renting their party room. I tolerated this kind of thing when we were all poor college students, as long as I was told ahead of time, but no more.

We're all pushing 30 now and I decline celebration invitations where I'm expected to pony up anything but good wishes and a gift. People need to host the party they can afford.

 

[dicar123]

We've had parties at game places, laser tag, the movies and have never asked anyone to pay.

But I have had parents ask, on occasion, how much money their child needs to have, so I'd guess it happens from time to time.

One of the parents from the movie party wasn't comfortable leaving her daughter with the group, so we paid for mom too. No biggie since we had fewer kids show up than we'd planned for.

 

[ozarkmom]

I think it's ridiculous! I have three kids and when they were younger we did everything from parties at the house to Chuckee cheese, bowling, movies, paint ball and pool parties. I never asked anyone to pay. Let's see I'd like for your child to come celebrate my childs birthday and gee you get to pay! When I didn't feel I could afford something expensive we either scaled back on the list or as they got older they chose a bigger gift from us and have one or two close friends to go eat /movies and spend the night. As far as pool parties our pools (country club and city) charge a standard fee for parties and I paid it. To me if your paying then your not a guest.

 

[ORMom2Four]

I think it's rude, and would NEVER ask guests to pay for my children's party.

 

[inkkognito]

When you invite someone they are your guest.

They call me a guest at Disney World...they invite me with their enticing ads...and they still make me pay.

 

[Liberty Belle]

That happened to us once. My son received an invitation for a boy's party at an indoor "fun center". When I called to accept the invitation his mom said, "He'll only need to bring about $15 or $20 for food and games." I was shocked, but manged to get out, "oh, ok."

He went and out of five kids, he was the only one who brought the boy a birthday gift! I guess their parents were a bit peeved, too.

 

[KandD]

I also do not agree with it because if you can't afford the party then you shouldn't throw it BUT more importantly, what if the guests can't afford it? Everyone knows what it feels like to be the one person not invited but what about BEING invited but not being able to go because your family couldn't afford it?
How old is the birthday girl? I guess asking for the guests to pay for themselves is more common as the kids get older but if they are young I really haven't heard of this before.

 

[JessicaR]

They call me a guest at Disney World...they invite me with their enticing ads...and they still make me pay.

Yeah they call us guests instead of what we really are, customers. Would be wonderful if they invited us to be their guests and really meant it!

 

[Piglets Mommy]

I've never gotten an ivitation like that, and would be pretty ticked if I did....There are so many party options, esp. in the summet that are inexpensive, so that just seems tacky to me.

BUT if this trend sticks...I'm having my Kids' next party at WDW, and everyone is invited but must pay their own way. Who wants to come??

 

[NeverlandClub23]

For those of you who think it's no big deal, would you do it? Or have you asked others to pay to attend your child's bday party?

While I do think it's no big deal, I wouldn't have a party and request a child's parents to pay (but then I don't have any kids yet and I've always heard (strictly from the DIS boards, that is) you can't say what you'd do when you have kids before having them ). Honestly, of all of the birthday parties I attended as a kid (and we're talking some with live bands, catered from nice restaurants, etc.) not one sticks out more than another. I have just as many great memories from the pinata/cake/pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey/punch/hamburgers/hotdog parties as the over-the-top ones so it would be hard to justify spending hundreds of dollars on a party, no matter who was really paying for it. Although, the not cleaning up part of it may be worth the hundreds of dollars...

I'm thinking I'll have at home birthday parties and put on the invitation it's a pot-luck

 

[ccgirl]

Wow! That is very surprising. Keep in mind that this is a child's birthday party. When I have my DD parties it is usually at least $12 a child and I NEVER ask for money and always give a treat bag to each child that attended. In addition, my child has NEVER been told to bring money to pay for their participation at the party. The only exception I can agree with is if you bring a sibling along or another friend that wasn't invited. I would expect to have to pay for that child - but not the one invited.

 

[justhat]

Wow, I have never heard of anything like that. We're thinking about having my son's friends over to the pool for a small birthday celebration, but we had fully intended to pay the $5 for each of his guests. I can't imagine asking the guests to contribute!

 

[mjkacmom]

I guess I have had it happen so often it doesn't even register on my radar anymore. Its pretty common to have to pay something when the party is at a venue. My DD is 13 now and the thing to do is go to the movie and all the girls pay their own way and pay for the birthday girl too. Not sure who started this little trend, but I do know thats what they all seem to do now.

I am still trying to get over the $25 gift for a kids party. In all the years we have been hosting and attending kids parties, I have never seen anyone other than family give that kind of a gift. Most seem to be in the $5-$10 range.

Maybe we are a more depressed area is why its not uncommon for the kids to pay their own way.

Around here, parties usually average $18 a head, and most give between $20 - $25 gifts. Dd8 got a $35 gc from a girl who I've never met! Of course, the COL here is one of the highest in the nation, so I'm sure that accounts for the differences.

 

[Longsx3]

DD (13) has never been invited to a pay your own Bday party but I would if asked...that being said I would never host a Bday party for my DD and request guest pay there own way.

We are getting ready to host DD's 13th Bday at a Baseball Game next month, we are having it in a special party area and beyond the required food I have added extras. Most of the invitees are family (adults and kids), although she will have some friends there too....I feel bad because many are still out of town on vacation. Anyways I am spending a chunk of change, many of the adults have offered money...uh no! Then you wouldn't be guest. I would never hos an event that I could not afford to pay for. BTW there will not be another extravagant Bday party until DD turns 16.

 

[swanmom]

Whatever happened to "Do what YOU can affort to do .... or don't do it!" This just seems to me like another example of "I want more, more, more so I should just be able to have it and find someone else to subsidize it!"

 

[suejai]

Thats crazy and rude. When you invite someone they are your guest.

That is what I believe as well. If we invited any of DS's friends to do anything I certainly didn't expect them to pay, even if it just going swimming or to the movies. However, this was never reciprocated so I have stopped paying for his friends when they go someplace now. But I would never ask anyone to pay to be inivited to his birthday party.

A friend of mine, who recently moved here from Ontario, has a policy that the amount she spends on the gift is in proportion to the cost of the activity being planned for the party. Not sure if this is just her or is the norm where she grew up.

 

[Pigeon]

That's pathetic. If you can't afford to pay for your guests, have a nice little party at home.