Passive agressive nonsense on facebook...

[Lisa loves Pooh]

jlmarr-yes, that is what I do!

angelhalo-if someone takes the time to post, "I am so mad right now!" or "feeling sad today" of course they know people are going to ask about it. If you just want to vent, I guess you could send an email to yourself, or write it on a piece of paper and throw it away?

So true!


In fact one of the ones today was "I'm MADDDDDDDDD!!!!!"

Now who can ignore that?

Facebook is kind of a put it out there and expose it type of person. I suppose if you want to vent and not have your whole world know--you can always post it here.


The two people in my world though who do this--always get bites. One--her "nibbles" are actually people swooning to reaffirm her. I was reassuring her in the beginning when we reconnected, I have since learned my lesson that she is simply seeking that affirmation. Like--I don't think she's really that down in the dumps or that fed up with the world. More like--I don't feel enough people love me, let me go get reaffirmed now.


I try to at least pretend I graduated high school when I post--but as someone said, I'm sure I annoy people.

I annoyed my mother who posted a negative comment on a post that we were finally able to book a trip to my grandparents house whom we have NEVER visited in California. She got snippy despite numerous visits and decided to post a snippy comment. I don't need my friends to see that crap, so I deleted that.

 

[Nolcrest]

I so know what you mean about passive aggressive behavior. One of my sisters is always causing trouble on facebook with others.

Her status's are a reflection of comments others have made that she doesn't agree with. She will unfriend you if she doesn't like people you are friends with.

When I first started to use facebook she contacted my daughter via FB asking why she couldn't friend request me - did I have her blocked. My DD told her that I didn't and I don't even know how to do that (I needed my DS to show me how to set things up). SO, I friend requested my sister and sent her an email telling her that DD told me she was having a hard time getting to my profile (my sister should have contacted me right from the beginning) but she should be able to do so.

Anyway.....she NEVER accepted my friend request. She is insane. After a month of my request pending - I removed it. This is an example of her passive aggressive behavior. Why make a stink of it with DD the first day I was using FB and then not accept the friend request. I guess she likes to feel in control and powerful.

She is someone who should not use facebook. You wouldn't believe the problems she causes. She's no kid either. She is 41 years old!!

So yes, some people are passive aggressive. They are not just doing your normal venting.

Other than her - FB has been great for me to keep in touch with DH family who lives far away. Everyone has a sense of humor and it's kinda fun knowing whats going on.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

Meh, I make comments like that. Not cuz I'm looking for attention... just because it's the way I feel at the moment. And sometimes I just like being cryptic.

I doubt that any of my friends care.

 

[JessicaR]

I so know what you mean about passive aggressive behavior. One of my sisters is always causing trouble on facebook with others.

Her status's are a reflection of comments others have made that she doesn't agree with. She will unfriend you if she doesn't like people you are friends with.

When I first started to use facebook she contacted my daughter via FB asking why she couldn't friend request me - did I have her blocked. My DD told her that I didn't and I don't even know how to do that (I needed my DS to show me how to set things up). SO, I friend requested my sister and sent her an email telling her that DD told me she was having a hard time getting to my profile (my sister should have contacted me right from the beginning) but she should be able to do so.

Anyway.....she NEVER accepted my friend request. She is insane. After a month of my request pending - I removed it. This is an example of her passive aggressive behavior. Why make a stink of it with DD the first day I was using FB and then not accept the friend request. I guess she likes to feel in control and powerful.

She is someone who should not use facebook. You wouldn't believe the problems she causes. She's no kid either. She is 41 years old!!

So yes, some people are passive aggressive. They are not just doing your normal venting.

Other than her - FB has been great for me to keep in touch with DH family who lives far away. Everyone has a sense of humor and it's kinda fun knowing whats going on.

That would have made me crazy! I just cant get into the mechanics of FB probably because I don't want to make the effort. If I need to contact anyone I'll pick up the phone or email them. The whole I'm making dinner now, I'm out shopping now, I'm at a movie now is like yeah OK and? I guess It just isn't for me, I must be too old!

 

[wildernesslodgelover]

That would have made me crazy! I just cant get into the mechanics of FB probably because I don't want to make the effort. If I need to contact anyone I'll pick up the phone or email them. The whole I'm making dinner now, I'm out shopping now, I'm at a movie now is like yeah OK and? I guess It just isn't for me, I must be too old!

maybe, but you are on a message board right now. Many people kind of scoff at this method of communicating. So I don't think you are too old! It is just a matter of what you are into and enjoy!

 

[MonkeyDishwasher]

LuvCuteBoys and AngelHalo- I'm so with you guys on this one. Sometimes I need to make a point to the person I'm irked at, or it's just a general vent. I'm not normally looking for attnetion when I do it, and normally nobody asks (because they've all learned that I won't tell them what's up if I haven't contacted them personally about it in real life).

For instance, the last few weeks I've been trying to get together with a friend to go shopping, but something trivial *always* comes up at the very last second so my day is pretty much over by the time I'm informed she can't go. So an update of mien was simply "I'm over trying. It's up to you now." Passive agressive? yes. Effective? Certainly. Any busybodies poking at me wondering what's going on? Sure, but I simply tell them it was meant toward someone else and they would have known if it were for them.

Otherwise my updates are silly and nonsensical.

 

[Sparx]

I HATE IT SO MUCH! these are a few of my favorites (from today)

so and so is "going to break down before the day is done."

so and so "hates this so bad"

so and so "apparently can't do anything right anymore"

the thing that really bothers me about it is, the particular person will make a comment like "apparently can't do anything right anymore" and then five minutes later she'll be bragging about how great of a grade she made on a test, or talking about how happy she is. its completely obvious that she's seeking attention. (and people DO give it to her, which only fuels the fire. people always comment and ask her whats wrong, and then she'll just reply with a sad face and say "it doesn't matter anyway." ugh.)

 

[Ilike2Lurk]

Sometimes I need to make a point to the person I'm irked at…..

So why not call that person and have a chat with them? Why not use words to communicate your point to the one person you are irked with Why play this game? Why air your business for so many other people to see?

It just seems so juvenile I can't grasp it

 

[Ilike2Lurk]

I HATE IT SO MUCH! these are a few of my favorites (from today)

so and so is "going to break down before the day is done."

so and so "hates this so bad"

so and so "apparently can't do anything right anymore"

They need attention

Either that, or they have lost all sense of how to communicate like an adult.

Sad.

 

[luvflorida]

We don't care that you are in class until eleven. We don't care if you think you are about the toughest thing to ever inhabit the earth or the universe. We don't care that you just got up and are hungry. We don't care that you think your brain is controlling your thoughts and may just destroy you because you are too wimpy to take charge of your own life. We don't care about any of that stuff and we all wonder why you think anyone does.

This made me laugh out loud!


My husband and I joined facebook a few months ago, mainly as a way to keep up to date with relatives and friends on the east coast. Every so often we would ask each other how many friends we had on our pages. Somehow it turned into a competition with both of us trying to top the other in number of friends. Sad, but true. My husband related this story to me the other day. He said he was talking to a friend on the phone and this friend happened to mention another person that they both knew. My husband said the first thought that popped into his head was "I wonder if this other person has a facebook page." I told him it's pretty bad when you see everyone as a potential to up your friend count!

By the way, he's winning.

 

[Sparx]

They need attention

Either that, or they have lost all sense of how to communicate like an adult.

Sad.

those aren't even in the top five of her best. she seriously needs attention in a bad way.

 

[MonkeyDishwasher]

So why not call that person and have a chat with them? Why not use words to communicate your point to the one person you are irked with Why play this game? Why air your business for so many other people to see?

Edit: I've decided my original response was too wordy. To summarize: I've tried speaking to her over the phone, and I feel like each time I come off as more and more irritated. I understand that things come up, but they just *happen* to be every time we have plans.

By making a more general comment that she knows is aimed at her via my Status, it's less permanent than putting it on her wall or as an e-mail in her inbox. Statuses go away after a few hours (on my screen at least), whereas Wall posts are pretty much there forever.

 

[BabyPiglet]

I don't understand the need for some people to be so melodramatic on FB updates. Sure, I'll post the occasional vent, but some people are constantly posting these 'my life is in ruins' updates. It gets extremely irritating.

Also, the people who update their status literally every 5 minutes with song lyrics. That is so unnecassary.

I love facebook (and admittadly do post things like 'leaving for class', etc) but some people use it as a way to get attention.

 

[Feej]

Also, the people who update their status literally every 5 minutes with song lyrics. That is so unnecassary.

That's me sometimes!

Usually it's because I have my Twitter feed, feeding into my FB feed, and I have an app that can send the songs I'm listening to through to Twitter.

Did that even make sense??

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

So why not call that person and have a chat with them? Why not use words to communicate your point to the one person you are irked with Why play this game? Why air your business for so many other people to see?

It just seems so juvenile I can't grasp it

When you type a sentence, you are actually using words. It's kinda cool.

They need attention

Either that, or they have lost all sense of how to communicate like an adult.

Sad.

The adults I know tend to communicate via FB, email, and text msg. We're on the phone at work all day. Sometimes, we just plain don't want to talk any more. And sometimes we just need a cyber hug. My life has been pretty stressful lately. Hopefully, that's all over now. But in the middle of all that stress, I certainly didn't have the time to pick up the phone and call all of my friends and relatives to say "Hey, I'm stressed. Can you send some good vibes my way."

Also, the people who update their status literally every 5 minutes with song lyrics. That is so unnecassary.

Why? I hear a song, I like the lyric, I post it. Sometimes it's for myself as much as it is for everyone else.

 

[jamimb]

What I'd like to know is...Why do people post mundane chores? I don't need to know that you went to the grocery store, or the car wash or I just did laundry, whatever. Should I post when I scrub the toilet?

I actually really like hearing about the mundane things!

 

[jamimb]

I just recently set up an account on Facebook so I could have another avenue to communicate with my daughter that recently moved to North Carolina.

What I have found out is that Facebook is primarily designed for people in their late teens and early twenties as a place to go and sound like they are 12 again and are desperately trying to get attention. Four letter words, stupid dark Q & A's, topics that have meaning to only the poster (if then) and like the link said...topics that absolutely no one cares about. We don't care that you are in class until eleven. We don't care if you think you are about the toughest thing to ever inhabit the earth or the universe. We don't care that you just got up and are hungry. We don't care that you think your brain is controlling your thoughts and may just destroy you because you are too wimpy to take charge of your own life. We don't care about any of that stuff and we all wonder why you think anyone does.

Anyway...I limit myself to a few close, mature, people that I can have a little friendly banter with and the rest goes to "please do not show". What a ginormous waste of cyberspace.

Just because you don't care doesn't mean everyone else feels that way. It is very interesting to me to get a small glimpse into the silly mundane things that go on in my friend's lives. Especially since I have alot of friends and family out of state. It makes me feel more in touch with them somehow.

 

[kangareaux]

It's a great feature that you can hide wall posts from specific apps, so for instance if you don't want to see any Mafia Wars posts from anybody you can hide them. Just hover over the upper right corner of the post and you'll get the option to Hide posts from that user or from that app.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

LuvCuteBoys and AngelHalo- I'm so with you guys on this one. Sometimes I need to make a point to the person I'm irked at, or it's just a general vent. I'm not normally looking for attnetion when I do it, and normally nobody asks (because they've all learned that I won't tell them what's up if I haven't contacted them personally about it in real life).

For instance, the last few weeks I've been trying to get together with a friend to go shopping, but something trivial *always* comes up at the very last second so my day is pretty much over by the time I'm informed she can't go. So an update of mien was simply "I'm over trying. It's up to you now." Passive agressive? yes. Effective? Certainly. Any busybodies poking at me wondering what's going on? Sure, but I simply tell them it was meant toward someone else and they would have known if it were for them.

Otherwise my updates are silly and nonsensical.

That's pretty petty and kind of what I am dealing with.

I backed out of an event for a pretty valid reason which at the moment is none of my families business until I decide that it is. I simply notified the person organizing the event as I was too sick to do much more than that.

I don't have the energy to track down if *I* am the reason--but at this point I don't care.

I don't know what occurred with your friend that is so trivial to warrant your passive agressive public tantrum--but what you did was just as trivial.

Sometimes people are jerks--sometimes people can't help when their schedules get fouled up. But everyone can help themselves to not be passive agressive and deal with it like a grown up.

 

[KAMKIM]

A good friend of mine from high school is on my friends list....Her boyfriend sent me a friend request...okay...no big deal...EXCEPT THEY BREAK UP VIA FACEBOOK EVERYDAY. Some of the things they say to each other is unbelievable for the whole world to see.....one day it's I hate that *******. The next day it's I've got the best man in the world....It makes me want to puke