Passive aggressive neighbor -- what to do?

[donaldduck352]

Sounds like you got Sheldon living under you-just yell at the floor and say BAZZINGA!!!!

Pretty much say the heck with morons like them and do what ya' want.Your paying to live there-do what you want..

 

[shortbun]

You could ignore it...OR you could try to be a little quieter in your sock feet.

If it were me (and I did live in the upstairs apartment in my very first apartment) I would be mortified to receive such a note. I would go and knock on their door, very apologetic, and tell them we weren't aware we were bothering them and ask them to please call (or text) if we were being too loud and we'd do our best to be respectful.

This! They are obviously frustrated. Tell them you realize that and you want to help. Do you have rugs? Rugs deaden noise. Work it out if you can.

 

[NFLDERS]

The rug placement following the use of cell phones from one unit to the other to determine the trouble spot(s). At the very least they will know you tried.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would take the note to the office and ignore them. Since they don't have to decency to speak to you like an adult I would not extend the courtesy to them.

If they don't like walking around noises they should not live in a downstairs apartment.

Ditto.

 

[Ceila]

Another thought on the note...I've seen notes similar to that posted on Reddit, and I can see how they may have thought they were bringing up a touchy subject with a little humor. Obviously, it didn't go that way, but knowing that they are a younger couple, I really believe that was their intention.

I do think you should stop down and talk to them and try to figure out what their main concerns are, and I like the idea of inviting them to "try it for themselves," so to speak.

 

[kimmyann]

We moved into an apartment a few months ago after being in a house for years. I made sure to move to a top floor because I didn't want anyone above me making noise. When we moved in we told the people below that if we are too loud to please let us know, since we haven't had to try to be quiet for a long time. We've never heard from them.

As far as your note...I would most definitely notify the office about what is going on & explain that you are not trying to be loud. This is going to look better for you because I'm thinking your neighbor is going to the office as a next step. I would rather address it before you receive an actual complaint. This way the office already knows & let them deal with the neighbor, that's what they're there for. The office also knows if they have sound issues between floors already & may be able to explain this to them. Good luck.

 

[lauradis]

why not just talk to them?

I'm sorry, we will try to keep dumbo from stomping around.

 

[JediBonas]

Ignore it and go to passive aggressive notes . com and enjoy reading the crazy

 

[OceanAnnie]

I'll make a different suggestion.

Talk to them, politely, apologize, and ask them what part of the apartment they're hearing the noise most loudly in. Then buy a rug and put it down in that spot. It's a simple fix, and it's amazing how much noise it can muffle. I know this because the people above me have rugs throughout their unit except in the dining room. I can hear every footstep in that room, I can hear the plates and utensils scraping around on their dining room table, I can hear their conversations.

Seriously. Get a rug. It'll get them off your back, they'l have peace and quiet, everyone's happy.

That's exactly what I was thinking.

 

[WorldWacky]

When we lived in the first floor apartment of a converted house, our upstairs neighbors bought a new sound system for their tv. The husband was a big gamer and loved his "shoot em up" games. The bass was deafening for us downstairs. After talking to him about it a couple of times, I finally asked him to turn his system on like he normally would and to come down to hear what it was like for us.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

DH and I just went out to find a lovely note taped to our door by our downstairs neighbors. They are upset at our 'stomping around' and go on to list quite a few theories-- we are pogo stick champions, own a tricking pony, have sex all day, etc. Of course, in the average 2-3 hours a day that we are home and not asleep, what we really do is walk around normally in sock feet. We don't even work out up here.

I'm sure the 'grown up' thing to do is to knock on their door and confront them. But I'm terrible at confrontation and if they wanted face to face contact they would have knocked on our door. DH wants to 1) write a snarky note back (I think that's a terrible idea because then we're stooping to their level), 2) take the note to the front office (not sure what good that will do?), and 3) post the note on the internet (okay, maybe I can get behind that one). I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out how we could be quieter and I can't think of anything. I've lived on bottom floor apartments before and I thought walking noise from above was a fact of life. We actually try to be very quiet because we know what it's like to be in a ground floor apartment.

Any suggestions? I'm confused and a little miffed because we actually try to be very quiet in our daily lives. None of this:

I'd just go knock on the door and tell them you weren't stomping or anything and that you'll try to walk more quietly. Or if there is a spot in your apartment that is particularly noisy, get a throw rug.

 

[Minnesota!]

You could ignore it...OR you could try to be a little quieter in your sock feet.

If it were me (and I did live in the upstairs apartment in my very first apartment) I would be mortified to receive such a note. I would go and knock on their door, very apologetic, and tell them we weren't aware we were bothering them and ask them to please call (or text) if we were being too loud and we'd do our best to be respectful.

This is what I would do, as well..

 

[Jedana]

Sometimes it's not you, it's them. Long story ahead

We had a downstairs neighbor once, that went bat crazy about our noise. They worked nights, and slept during the day. Complained about all the noise during the day.

I had a 12 and 2 year old. 12 year old is at school all day then went to a friends house for "daycare"; 2 year old at daycare; DH and I both at work. The only time we were home during the day was on Saturday and Sunday---and we usually were gone part of the day on those days as well. The noise was coming from 2 cats, about 5 pounds each.

I need to add, the apartments faced the playground and the pool area. There was more noise from those two areas than from our apartment during the day.

One day, I had a weekday off, but I sent DS to daycare, so I could go grocery shopping and have a "me" day. I was sitting at the computer desk, playing a game....the cats started running around the living room, and the guy started thumping on the ceiling.

A few days later, the kids were outside at the playground (I was on the front step area, watching), and he came outside and started screaming at the kids to be quiet. It was about 1pm. He didn't see me on the stairs, I rushed down. Sent the kids upstairs, called the police as he had a baseball bat in his hand, and the kids were panicking. Police came and told him to suck it up, it was 1pm and he chose the downstairs apartment next to the playground and pool.

The next week was utter hell. Our garage was up against their apartment, we used it for parking one car, and storage. They would park their car in front of it, so I couldn't get out. They pounded on the ceiling day and night, anytime they were home. Blasting music at 3 am, when they'd get home from work.

Every single time, I called the police and documented it with the apartment complex. After a week, I told the complex we wanted out of our lease, and they let us break it without penalty. We moved, and did the move with several large guys who walk "heavy". The guy walked out, fuming, saw the guys, turned right back around and shut his door.

Next day, I was cleaning the apartment for turn-in, and the kids were outside on the steps, not making much noise (DD reading to DS), and he came out, raising hell. Again, like 2pm. Called the cops, took the kids to the apartment complex office and told them I couldn't finish the clean because it wasn't safe for me and the kids to do so.

They didn't penalize us for the uncleaned carpets or garage.

The guy got evicted right after we moved.

 

[ORMom2Four]

DH and I just went out to find a lovely note taped to our door by our downstairs neighbors. They are upset at our 'stomping around' and go on to list quite a few theories-- we are pogo stick champions, own a tricking pony, have sex all day, etc. Of course, in the average 2-3 hours a day that we are home and not asleep, what we really do is walk around normally in sock feet. We don't even work out up here.

I'm sure the 'grown up' thing to do is to knock on their door and confront them. But I'm terrible at confrontation and if they wanted face to face contact they would have knocked on our door. DH wants to 1) write a snarky note back (I think that's a terrible idea because then we're stooping to their level), 2) take the note to the front office (not sure what good that will do?), and 3) post the note on the internet (okay, maybe I can get behind that one). I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out how we could be quieter and I can't think of anything. I've lived on bottom floor apartments before and I thought walking noise from above was a fact of life. We actually try to be very quiet because we know what it's like to be in a ground floor apartment.

Any suggestions? I'm confused and a little miffed because we actually try to be very quiet in our daily lives. None of this:

I think that they wanted to bring this up with you, and thought they were doing it in a funny, clever way. Notes like this are all over the internet and normally make people laugh (unless you are the one getting the note!).

Sending notes/letters is NEVER a good idea. You can never hear a person's tone of voice or inflection and most everything gets taken the wrong way. I'd talk to them in person, joke with them that the walls/floors are too thin, maybe even (laughing while you say it) suggest they move to an upper floor apartment if one opens up (because of the thin floors and all).

Good luck!

 

[bedogged]

I would take the note and go to management. Tell management that you are concerned that there may be a problem with the floors in their building since you are just walking normally in your apartment. This will help to protect you since the people may continue to complain about "your" noise. People can be evicted because of noise problems. It is important to document the fact that you are not the cause of the problem. Also, the management will be reluctant to become involved if they think that they will have to PAY to correct a noise problem.

 

[Callie]

Sometimes it's not you, it's them. Long story ahead

We had a downstairs neighbor once, that went bat crazy about our noise. They worked nights, and slept during the day. Complained about all the noise during the day.

I had a 12 and 2 year old. 12 year old is at school all day then went to a friends house for "daycare"; 2 year old at daycare; DH and I both at work. The only time we were home during the day was on Saturday and Sunday---and we usually were gone part of the day on those days as well. The noise was coming from 2 cats, about 5 pounds each.

I need to add, the apartments faced the playground and the pool area. There was more noise from those two areas than from our apartment during the day.

One day, I had a weekday off, but I sent DS to daycare, so I could go grocery shopping and have a "me" day. I was sitting at the computer desk, playing a game....the cats started running around the living room, and the guy started thumping on the ceiling.

A few days later, the kids were outside at the playground (I was on the front step area, watching), and he came outside and started screaming at the kids to be quiet. It was about 1pm. He didn't see me on the stairs, I rushed down. Sent the kids upstairs, called the police as he had a baseball bat in his hand, and the kids were panicking. Police came and told him to suck it up, it was 1pm and he chose the downstairs apartment next to the playground and pool.

The next week was utter hell. Our garage was up against their apartment, we used it for parking one car, and storage. They would park their car in front of it, so I couldn't get out. They pounded on the ceiling day and night, anytime they were home. Blasting music at 3 am, when they'd get home from work.

Every single time, I called the police and documented it with the apartment complex. After a week, I told the complex we wanted out of our lease, and they let us break it without penalty. We moved, and did the move with several large guys who walk "heavy". The guy walked out, fuming, saw the guys, turned right back around and shut his door.

Next day, I was cleaning the apartment for turn-in, and the kids were outside on the steps, not making much noise (DD reading to DS), and he came out, raising hell. Again, like 2pm. Called the cops, took the kids to the apartment complex office and told them I couldn't finish the clean because it wasn't safe for me and the kids to do so.

They didn't penalize us for the uncleaned carpets or garage.

The guy got evicted right after we moved.

Sounds like what I experienced somewhat with my lovely downstairs neighbor. He would pound on the ceiling nonstop for me just walking. I even tried to be quiet. He would also yell and call me terrible names. Threatened to hurt me thru the ceiling. It was terrible. Also, anytime I tried to vacuum, even at 5pm, he would start pounding, and the yelling. They finally kicked him out.

 

[Imhere]

DH and I just went out to find a lovely note taped to our door by our downstairs neighbors. They are upset at our 'stomping around' and go on to list quite a few theories-- we are pogo stick champions, own a tricking pony, have sex all day, etc. Of course, in the average 2-3 hours a day that we are home and not asleep, what we really do is walk around normally in sock feet. We don't even work out up here.

I'm sure the 'grown up' thing to do is to knock on their door and confront them. But I'm terrible at confrontation and if they wanted face to face contact they would have knocked on our door. DH wants to 1) write a snarky note back (I think that's a terrible idea because then we're stooping to their level), 2) take the note to the front office (not sure what good that will do?), and 3) post the note on the internet (okay, maybe I can get behind that one). I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out how we could be quieter and I can't think of anything. I've lived on bottom floor apartments before and I thought walking noise from above was a fact of life. We actually try to be very quiet because we know what it's like to be in a ground floor apartment.

Any suggestions? I'm confused and a little miffed because we actually try to be very quiet in our daily lives. None of this:

Honestly, my first inclination is that they are trying to use humor to bring up what could be an uncomfortable conversation for them.

Without talking to them I wouldn't automatically come to the conclusion that they are mean, rude, and generally horrible people.

That's just me though.

 

[gottaluvPluto]

You could be heavy walkers and not realize it. Be nice and talk to the folks downstairs. Not a big deal.

 

[Disney Doll]

I would write a note back saying "For the 2-3 hours per day when we are actually home and walking around, we walk in our stocking feet so as to not disturb you. Since that seems to be creating an inordinate amount of noise in your apartment, I have shared your concens with the building management since it may be a design flaw in the building that makes normal walking around in stocking feet sound so inordinately loud in your apartment. I hope this settles the issue to your satisfaction. I assume the building management will be contacting you to determine how to rectify the design flaw".

Then I would do just that. Contact building management, tell them the people below you are having a noise issue and since you walk quietly and in stocking feet you think their apartment has a design flaw that needs to be rectified.

 

[Sabeking]

Be an adult an have an open and honest conversation?