Party Etiquette, advise please.

[Cindyluwho]

This question is from my DD14:
She had a party right after school let out and invited a group of 15 kids or so. Word got out that she had a party and two girls who weren't invited made quite a stink about it. First they emailed her about it and she was (in my opinion) too honest and told them that when they were together they could be bullies and she didn't really want them at the party because of that. They made some comments on their myspace pages, nothing too terrible and we thought it was over. Fast forward to now and my DD is having another party. Obviously word got out and now one of those same girls is emailing her asking her about it. DD does NOT want her to come but is afraid of starting off her Freshman year with an enemy.
WWYD???

 

[Master Mason]

It's her party if she doesn't want someone there then she shouldn't invite them. Seams pretty simple to me.

 

[akhenaten]

she needs to go into HS strong in her convictions and choices....no matter what peer pressure is applied...

do not let her give in to these girls!!!!

 

[Mean Queen]

I'd blame it on my mother. Tell the girl after the MySpace incident that my mom said the girl was no longer allowed over. I might say to avoid further problems, that I would love to invite her, but my mom was being a pain about it. High school is hard enough without making more enemies.

 

[Cindyluwho]

It's her party if she doesn't want someone there then she shouldn't invite them. Seams pretty simple to me.

She absolutely won't invite her, but her question is - what does she reply to the emails, text messages, etc. Or does she just ignore them?

 

[akhenaten]

She absolutely won't invite her, but her question is - what does she reply to the emails, text messages, etc. Or does she just ignore them?

does she usually email/text this girl??

 

[Handbag Lady]

It seems simple to us because we are adults. I just wouldn't invite the gal and let her know why.

But to a teen, oh, this is the end of the world, this popularity thing.

This is what I would tell your daughter: Call the girl and invite her over for a Coke or tea or whatever kids drink these days. Tell the girl you'd love to invite her but are afraid or her bullying nature. Give the other girl a chance to either make amends, defend herself, or to lie through her teeth. Then, invite the girl and see what happens. She may just turn a new leaf. If she ruins the party with bullying, then that's it, no more invites.

I bet your daughter is popular with her friends since she gets to have parties often. She needs to learn to be a good hostess so she can continue on this path so she has a nice High School experience.

 

[Cindyluwho]

I'd blame it on my mother. Tell the girl after the MySpace incident that my mom said the girl was no longer allowed over. I might say to avoid further problems, that I would love to invite her, but my mom was being a pain about it. High school is hard enough without making more enemies.

OK, that's perfect!! My DD and my DH are laughing and I told her to go ahead and do it! I coached them on cheer for two years and they know that I take no BULL from anyone so it makes perfect sense!

 

[Cindyluwho]

does she usually email/text this girl??

NEVER!! They are not friends, they never hang out, ever! They're not enemies, but they certainly don't hang out.

 

[akhenaten]

NEVER!! They are not friends, they never hang out, ever! They're not enemies, but they certainly don't hang out.

well she could just ignore them then...
but I always told my kids that they could blame me anytime if they wanted out of situations like this...
if she feels that she needs to respond...

sorry .. mom says i can only have X # of friends over.....