Parents paying for college

[Dawnlight]

For those talking about CC, I wish my area was more open to it. When I was in high school, everyone made it seem like you were a complete joke if you went to our local CC. No one talked about it as a serious place to go and it wasn't really something that was recommended to anyone except those who they knew wouldn't make it through anything more. Had I known more about it and had someone talk to me seriously about it, I completely would have considered it as an option as a way to get my gen eds out of the way.

My oldest two (of 6) are going to CC and paying for it themselves. I understand what you're talking about. We live in an affluent town, though are not well-off ourselves. Both kids felt a huge amount of pressure about going to CC and also a huge amount of embarrassment. It's what was affordable to them and to us; neither of us are in a position to go into debt over it. I find it cringe-worthy when people, even of older age, ask what school one went to, as if it's a pedigree of sorts. Who the hell really cares? Is that a measure of one's worth as a person? I hate that going to community college is often the butt of jokes; it makes me sad for my kids.

 

[prprincess]

My mother paid for my college education using the money that she received from my father's life insurance when he passed away. Mind you I commuted daily to a local college, so I didn't have the room, board, and food fees. Otherwise, I would have had to take out student loans.

 

[Mickeyluver37]

For those talking about CC, I wish my area was more open to it. When I was in high school, everyone made it seem like you were a complete joke if you went to our local CC. No one talked about it as a serious place to go and it wasn't really something that was recommended to anyone except those who they knew wouldn't make it through anything more. Had I known more about it and had someone talk to me seriously about it, I completely would have considered it as an option as a way to get my gen eds out of the way.

In terms of housing on campus, I got one of the cheapest apartments I could find after getting out of the dorms: $500 a person for a 3 bed/1 bath apartment about at 15 minute walk from campus. It was completely beat down. Anything nicer or with less roommates, etc. was at least $700 or more per person.

Our local CC is excellent. The stigma doesn't seem to be really there if you go and then transfer somewhere else. The stigma is more that most people don't seem to go that far. I don't have statistics, but it definitely seems as though a lot of people that SAY they are going to the local CC instead of a 4 year, aren't really even doing that, or drop out after one semester. I guess they don't wan't to say "I'm doing nothing." when asked where there are going to college. My daughter took a summer class last year while she was home on break, and most of her classmates were not her age, but more my age. It seems to be taken more seriously by non-traditional students looking for a new career path.

 

[sk!mom]

I honestly feel and maybe I am wrong but I don't think that real life is like the people on these boards. I believe that the folks on these boards make more than the average person - putting our children through college would cost us per child at least 25k per year - so 75k for all 3 for 1 year at an instate school like U of M or Michigan State. How in the heck do you people pay for all of that for your children? Scholarships are just not that easy to get here in our area and because we make a decent wage we are expected to pay 95% of our kids schooling - so how do you pay for bach degrees and grad school and some of you med school? What am I doing wrong here?

You are likely correct since this board is populated with people who found it due to a mutual interest in an expensive vacation destination. I don't know that anyone is doing anything "wrong.'

In our case, we are a two income family largely so that we can provide extras like vacation and now fully funded college. We paid our mortgage off several years ago so that we could add that amount to cash flowing college. I take on summer school teaching to add income. The last piece has been a tightened budget during the college years. I'm envious of those who can still travel, as normal, with one in college but we could not. In reality if we had planned vacations as normal, for us, that would have used money that we wanted to allocate to college and DD would have possibly needed loans. We couldn't in good conscience go on vacation while she went into debt- not right or wrong- just our choice.

The end of this season in life, for us, is in sight and we just returned from our first vacation in 3 years (other than long weekends here and there or visits to family.) It has been worth it to us as a debt free start for DD was a priority to us. We didn't have that and valued it for her.

 

[RangerPooh]

My oldest two (of 6) are going to CC and paying for it themselves. I understand what you're talking about. We live in an affluent town, though are not well-off ourselves. Both kids felt a huge amount of pressure about going to CC and also a huge amount of embarrassment. It's what was affordable to them and to us; neither of us are in a position to go into debt over it. I find it cringe-worthy when people, even of older age, ask what school one went to, as if it's a pedigree of sorts. Who the hell really cares? Is that a measure of one's worth as a person? I hate that going to community college is often the butt of jokes; it makes me sad for my kids.

Exactly! Who cares if you start at a CC instead of going directly to a 4 year school. You're taking the same classes and paying less. It frustrated me when parents of the snobby kids that I went to high school with approached me to inquire where I was going to school and how well their snowflake was doing at CSU XX /UC XX. They made it seem like their child was so much better than I was because I was working and attending the local CC. Instead it taught me to appreciate my education as I was paying my own way. <end of rant, sorry>

Some people will argue that the caliber of education that you receive at a CC is far less than what you receive at a 4 year, but I disagree. I think that this varies from school to school as no two instructors are the same. I attended three different CC before transferring to a 4 year to complete my bachelors degree, and hands down some of the best instructors that I had were at the CC not the 4 year school. One of the reasons might be that faculty at 4 year schools are often more focused on their own research than teaching. I have seen this first hand as DH is a professor at a local private college. He's there for the teaching aspect, while many of his colleagues are more focused on their own research than the students that teach.

 

[DisneyHardin]

I got a full tuition scholarship to a State school and my parents paid my room/board/books. For graduate school I was on my own, but was able to get grants for most of it and only had about $4000 in loans. I've been out of college 17 years now and realize how lucky I was. Lots of my friends are still paying in loans.

 

[CrazyCakeLady]

Wow, that's some serious college planning.

Wow, that's some serious college planning.

It's also called FRAUD.

 

[tzolkin]

They DO take account of any funds you have saved or invested OUTSIDE of a retirement account.

On the other hand, if you have even $100 saved outside of that, you will be expected to spend that to educate your child.

You are expected to spend 5.6% of your accessible money (anything not in a retirement account).

A certain amount of savings is exempt (allowing you to have an emergency fund). However, the excluded amount depends on the parents age and whether they are married or single. We were only 35 when our daughter started college, so our amount was about half that of parents who are 50.

https://studentaid.ed.gov/sa/sites/default/files/2017-18-efc-formula.pdf
Check out "Asset Protection Allowance" on pg 19

I'm about to send my 2nd kid to college, so like any other over researching parent, I belong to several boards and FB groups on the topic. They say those words, but the overwhelming majority really mean that THEY took out loans that they are going to make their kids pay back. Kids can't borrow more than the $5,500, $6,500, $7,500 x 2 in Stafford loans.

On this topic in general, the lack of understanding of how this all works is absolutely astounding.

This is always the argument I have with people who are very committed to the "I paid for college myself so my children must do the same" attitude. My sister-in-law is one of those. I have explained to her numerous times that everything is based on the parents' finances and that there is a limit to what loans a student can take without a co-signer. So if you absolutely refuse to help your children, they may simply not be able to attend college.

It must not be all that unusual because my daughter mentioned the same thing to me...."Mom, B (her gay friend) and I are thinking of getting married so we get better financial aid."

I was NOT on board with that plan. LOL. It's a thing. People do it. It's the logical consequence of making financial aid virtually non-existent when dependent on parent (not even that high) income, and making it a free for all if the student is married. If my kid had heard about it, I guarantee others have too.

Some schools (at least the one I attended and the one where I worked) do not allow you to change your status once you have been accepted. So even if you marry or have a child during one of your undergraduate years, you will continue to be considered a dependent of your parents and must use their income for financial aid purposes.

 

[wilkeliza]

Some schools (at least the one I attended and the one where I worked) do not allow you to change your status once you have been accepted. So even if you marry or have a child during one of your undergraduate years, you will continue to be considered a dependent of your parents and must use their income for financial aid purposes.

I have never seen a school do that. Mostly because it isn't up to the school what your federal status is it is up to the federal government. Heck you can't even fill out the fasfa with your parents information if you get married.

 

[tzolkin]

I have never seen a school do that. Mostly because it isn't up to the school what your federal status is it is up to the federal government. Heck you can't even fill out the fasfa with your parents information if you get married.

But I'm certain that was the policy because when I worked there I volunteered to help a student group that was putting together resources for students if they became pregnant/had a child. We had a big meeting with all of the heads of various departments and the head of financial aid said that they do not allow a student to change their status to independent if they have a child or get married while already a student. (I was also a teen mom, so had my personal experience with that as well.)

 

[wilkeliza]

But I'm certain that was the policy because when I worked there I volunteered to help a student group that was putting together resources for students if they became pregnant/had a child. We had a big meeting with all of the heads of various departments and the head of financial aid said that they do not allow a student to change their status to independent if they have a child or get married while already a student. (I was also a teen mom, so had my personal experience with that as well.)

I'm not saying you didn't have the experience I just can't see how a school could make their own rules regarding FASFA when they have no way of controlling what the government rules are. Heck my own FA department told me they wish they could make an exception and give me dependent because they knew my story and knew that I was seeing the school provided therapist even but their hands were tied by the government. It was just more a shock in the whole how can they even do it type of statement.

 

[tzolkin]

I'm not saying you didn't have the experience I just can't see how a school could make their own rules regarding FASFA when they have no way of controlling what the government rules are. Heck my own FA department told me they wish they could make an exception and give me dependent because they knew my story and knew that I was seeing the school provided therapist even but their hands were tied by the government. It was just more a shock in the whole how can they even do it type of statement.

I don't think they made their own rules about FAFSA or the government. I suppose you could/would fill out the FAFSA with your independent status, but the school was still going to require you to turn over your parents' financials and/or use the prior (dependent) year's info to base the the financial aid awards they gave you. (Prestigious private school, so I suppose if you refused to give them the info they would just refuse to give you any merit or need-based aid from the school's funds.) Essentially, they were preventing anyone "benefitting" from having a child or getting married. (Which would also eliminate the fraud a few other posters mentioned.)

 

[wilkeliza]

I don't think they made their own rules about FAFSA or the government. I suppose you could/would fill out the FAFSA with your independent status, but the school was still going to require you to turn over your parents' financials and/or use the prior (dependent) year's info to base the the financial aid awards they gave you. (Prestigious private school, so I suppose if you refused to give them the info they would just refuse to give you any merit or need-based aid from the school's funds.) Essentially, they were preventing anyone "benefitting" from having a child or getting married. (Which would also eliminate the fraud a few other posters mentioned.)

Ah okay that makes sense that it was only for their aid. I only know people who did it because they became eligible for the Pell Grant on top of Stafford loans if they went independent. Mine was actually just to be able to access stafford loans since my father wouldn't even give me his tax information (he used it as a tool to keep me in the abusive cycle) so for a year while I battled for independent status I was at the mercy of the school letting me keep my merit based aid and coming up with the 10K somewhere else for that year.

 

[mnrose]

It's also called FRAUD.

That was exactly what I told DD when she proposed this ridiculous plan to me. LOL. Not even to save (my) money was that worth it to me. Even if it isn't technically "legally fraudulent", it's unethical as hell and I just don't roll that way. My internal sense of right and wrong was pinging "WRONG" on this one. And, to be fair, I don't think DD had thought through it clearly at all (as you might expect from a 17 year old....lack of frontal lobe development and all...LOL).

 

[adelaster]

I find it cringe-worthy when people, even of older age, ask what school one went to, as if it's a pedigree of sorts. Who the hell really cares? Is that a measure of one's worth as a person?

I think in some circles it very much is. I hate it. It's not something you can undo, and very few people can bootstrap themselves into ivy league success without an incredible support system. Hopefully your kids learn to not care-then have them teach me!

 

[Disney_traveler]

I had scholarships that paid for absolutely everything and I got about $200 a semester back. I graduated in 4 years with my bachelors. Parents bought me a vehicle halfway through sophomore year of college as I was paying for college. If I would have lost scholarships, I would pay for vehicle. I never had a job in high school or college out of need. I did intern one summer because it was an organization I was involved with and another summer a professor called me to do a favor and be a secretary for a couple weeks while office was closed.

 

[monsterkitty]

Exactly! Who cares if you start at a CC instead of going directly to a 4 year school. You're taking the same classes and paying less. It frustrated me when parents of the snobby kids that I went to high school with approached me to inquire where I was going to school and how well their snowflake was doing at CSU XX /UC XX. They made it seem like their child was so much better than I was because I was working and attending the local CC. Instead it taught me to appreciate my education as I was paying my own way. <end of rant, sorry>

Some people will argue that the caliber of education that you receive at a CC is far less than what you receive at a 4 year, but I disagree. I think that this varies from school to school as no two instructors are the same. I attended three different CC before transferring to a 4 year to complete my bachelors degree, and hands down some of the best instructors that I had were at the CC not the 4 year school. One of the reasons might be that faculty at 4 year schools are often more focused on their own research than teaching. I have seen this first hand as DH is a professor at a local private college. He's there for the teaching aspect, while many of his colleagues are more focused on their own research than the students that teach.

My step-dad was a professor at the University of Denver. He hated that he had to publish a certain amount of articles every year as it took him away from planning and working with students.

His DD works in admissions at a CC. She's one on of the people who decide if you get accepted to the school or not. They don't take people just because they can hold a pencil. Those who are not accepted can take remedial classes in order to bring up their admissions test scores. Yes, they require students to take tests to see where they really are.

Not everyone needs a four-year college degree. Community colleges, trade schools, and the military offer just as much for many careers as a four year schools provide for "professional" professions. Heck, I have a former student who didn't even go to CC, a trade school, or wasn't in the military who make more than I do. She started as a bagger at a local Kroger and is now in management. I have a few Masters Degrees and she has a high school diploma but is just as successful even without a higher education.

 

[scrapquitler]

Did your parents pay for your college or did you pay for your child's college?

Personally, my parents did not pay for my college. They did try to help pay for books and food and things when they could, but I graduated 2 years ago with about 60k in student loan debt. I did understand when I picked a school that I would be paying, which is why I decided not to go to my dream school, but now that I am moving out and hoping to finally plan my wedding it makes me hope that I can help to pay for most of my future child's schooling when the time comes.

My parents paid part, and I paid part thru loans. I paid for my own books and spending money.

Our daughter has a full tuition scholarship, so all we have to pay is room and board. We pay the room and board, and her books, and she pays for most of her own spending money with her on campus job. She will graduate with no debt.

When she starts grad school, we will also be paying, but she will likely need to take out at least some loans for that.

 

[McKelly]

In WI, our two year community colleges are starting to offer 4 year degrees. They are associated with one of the four year state schools, but all classes are taken at the two year college. My DD just graduated high school and in her economics class the teacher broke down costs of different schools, how much their monthly payments would be coming out of college if they borrowed X amount of dollars. My DD seriously considered the community college and she is at the top of her class. She wasn't embarrassed to go there in the least. Hopefully, high schools will take a bigger role in giving young kids a reality check of what their life is going to be like AFTER they graduate. They are not all going to make top dollar right away. But some of them will have big loans that they will have to start paying on. I work with some young graduates and listen to their money struggles every day.

 

[Dawnlight]

In WI, our two year community colleges are starting to offer 4 year degrees. They are associated with one of the four year state schools, but all classes are taken at the two year college. My DD just graduated high school and in her economics class the teacher broke down costs of different schools, how much their monthly payments would be coming out of college if they borrowed X amount of dollars. My DD seriously considered the community college and she is at the top of her class. She wasn't embarrassed to go there in the least. Hopefully, high schools will take a bigger role in giving young kids a reality check of what their life is going to be like AFTER they graduate. They are not all going to make top dollar right away. But some of them will have big loans that they will have to start paying on. I work with some young graduates and listen to their money struggles every day.

I don't see that happening soon, at least not in our town. At our high school, there's a list outside the guidance office with the names of the students and the schools they got in to. It's really disgusting, in my humble opinion. Schools get a level of recognition for having graduates attending top tier schools. They get recognized for the number of students that go on to college.

I think it's great that her economics teacher showed the class a bit of the financial reality. Our kids have health class that deals with not taking drugs, abusing alcohol, making good choices as far as eating and exercise, talk about sex and the risks involved, yet in so many ways the school (and parents) ignore the future financial health of their kids because the expectation, of many, is that kids have to go to college and not only that, they must attend the most prestigious they can get in to.