Parents of the Class of 2019

[Colleen27]

Almost every sweet 16 (just called sweets here) are formal catered affairs, dd has three coming up soon. She just told me she got a save the date in January for one in November! There was a live tiger at one of them.

Wow! Around here, it really isn't a big deal. We plan on doing something a little special for DD's in August, but that's going to be either renting a photo booth for our usual backyard birthday party or forgoing the party in favor of taking DD and a couple of close friends to the renaissance festival. The birthday girl's family is Mexican on one side, though, and the big formal party was a compromise between dad & daughter's American view of 16 as the milestone birthday and mom's desire to throw a quincinera-like party for her only daughter. The girls loved it; it was an excuse to get dolled up in prom style and dance with their friends. But I can't imagine spending that much on a teenager's birthday party, especially not on top of drivers' ed and car insurance with college looming on the horizon.

 

[mom2rtk]

Almost every sweet 16 (just called sweets here) are formal catered affairs, dd has three coming up soon. She just told me she got a save the date in January for one in November! There was a live tiger at one of them.

Definitely not the case around here. Biggest affair one of DD's friends had was a bonfire. And honestly, that's just fine with me.

 

[clori]

Around here there may be one big party but it isn't a set age. For instance some kids have a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, Quinceanera, Sweet 16, or 18th birthday bash. Some are big and some are small family events.

 

[ColoradoDisneyFreaks]

DD continued her tradition of doing DartWarz with some friends for prom. They had a great time, and even better, since she's got her driver's license now, I DIDN'T HAVE TO TAKE HER!!!!! YAY!!!!

No college tours yet, but we're going to hit MIT in July since we'll be out there for a trip and it's really made it's way to the top of her list. There have been a couple of sweet 16 parties, but nothing huge, mostly just friends getting together and hanging out.

 

[PollyannaMom]

So, I'm not typically "that parent" - to the point that I really don't know how to do it effectively. But I think there's something I may need to speak up about.

DS came home yesterday (first day back from break) telling me that the teachers received a memo that they are not supposed to send students to the bathroom anymore unless there is an absolute emergency.

I'm kind of out of touch here, as I sub elementary grades (so it's a vastly different system) but they expect the students to be able to go between classes - when most of them already carry everything around with them all day because they don't even have time to stop at their lockers! It's a huge school, and there is barely enough time to get from one end to the other without being late for class as it is.

There hasn’t been any parent communication that I know of, but I’m guessing that there has been some trouble in the bathrooms. (I still don’t think it’s fair to punish everyone for a few people, though.) As far as I'm concerned, access to bathroom facilities is a basic human need, and a legitimate health issue.

But I don’t even know what to say if I call. Do I ask if there has been trouble? If the measure is temporary? Do I call the office or the nurse? Is e-mail better? - Like I said, I generally avoid doing this sort of thing. (When DS doesn’t like some rule, I tend to go with “It’s her classroom, not mine.”) But this one just bothers me.

So, pretty much, either talk me out of the mama-bear cave or tell me what to say.

 

[mom2rtk]

So, I'm not typically "that parent" - to the point that I really don't know how to do it effectively. But I think there's something I may need to speak up about.

DS came home yesterday (first day back from break) telling me that the teachers received a memo that they are not supposed to send students to the bathroom anymore unless there is an absolute emergency.

I'm kind of out of touch here, as I sub elementary grades (so it's a vastly different system) but they expect the students to be able to go between classes - when most of them already carry everything around with them all day because they don't even have time to stop at their lockers! It's a huge school, and there is barely enough time to get from one end to the other without being late for class as it is.

There hasn’t been any parent communication that I know of, but I’m guessing that there has been some trouble in the bathrooms. (I still don’t think it’s fair to punish everyone for a few people, though.) As far as I'm concerned, access to bathroom facilities is a basic human need, and a legitimate health issue.

But I don’t even know what to say if I call. Do I ask if there has been trouble? If the measure is temporary? Do I call the office or the nurse? Is e-mail better? - Like I said, I generally avoid doing this sort of thing. (When DS doesn’t like some rule, I tend to go with “It’s her classroom, not mine.”) But this one just bothers me.

So, pretty much, either talk me out of the mama-bear cave or tell me what to say.

Sounds ridiculous, especially for the girls.

Honestly though, I wouldn't call or email. I would take care of it for my own child and let it go. I would tell her to plan ahead, and if she gets in a bind, shoot me a text and I'd come pick her up for a "doctor's appointment". If you can't do that, I'd still tell him to plan around it and tell him to let you know if he wants you to step in. I'm guessing he won't. If the other students found out, it could be bad. Just be thankful it's so late in the year.

 

[bjscheel]

So, I'm not typically "that parent" - to the point that I really don't know how to do it effectively. But I think there's something I may need to speak up about.

DS came home yesterday (first day back from break) telling me that the teachers received a memo that they are not supposed to send students to the bathroom anymore unless there is an absolute emergency.

I'm kind of out of touch here, as I sub elementary grades (so it's a vastly different system) but they expect the students to be able to go between classes - when most of them already carry everything around with them all day because they don't even have time to stop at their lockers! It's a huge school, and there is barely enough time to get from one end to the other without being late for class as it is.

There hasn’t been any parent communication that I know of, but I’m guessing that there has been some trouble in the bathrooms. (I still don’t think it’s fair to punish everyone for a few people, though.) As far as I'm concerned, access to bathroom facilities is a basic human need, and a legitimate health issue.

But I don’t even know what to say if I call. Do I ask if there has been trouble? If the measure is temporary? Do I call the office or the nurse? Is e-mail better? - Like I said, I generally avoid doing this sort of thing. (When DS doesn’t like some rule, I tend to go with “It’s her classroom, not mine.”) But this one just bothers me.

So, pretty much, either talk me out of the mama-bear cave or tell me what to say.

I guess maybe I would wait a few days, see how he gets along, and see if the "new rule" holds up or fades away. If it remains a problem, I would consider an email to the office just expressing your concerns (mention the distance between classes, basic human need, etc.) so they are aware of issues. And I would tell my child that getting up and leaving class is preferable to making a mess if it comes to that...

 

[Gumbo4x4]

So, I'm not typically "that parent" - to the point that I really don't know how to do it effectively. But I think there's something I may need to speak up about.

DS came home yesterday (first day back from break) telling me that the teachers received a memo that they are not supposed to send students to the bathroom anymore unless there is an absolute emergency.

I'm kind of out of touch here, as I sub elementary grades (so it's a vastly different system) but they expect the students to be able to go between classes - when most of them already carry everything around with them all day because they don't even have time to stop at their lockers! It's a huge school, and there is barely enough time to get from one end to the other without being late for class as it is.

There hasn’t been any parent communication that I know of, but I’m guessing that there has been some trouble in the bathrooms. (I still don’t think it’s fair to punish everyone for a few people, though.) As far as I'm concerned, access to bathroom facilities is a basic human need, and a legitimate health issue.

But I don’t even know what to say if I call. Do I ask if there has been trouble? If the measure is temporary? Do I call the office or the nurse? Is e-mail better? - Like I said, I generally avoid doing this sort of thing. (When DS doesn’t like some rule, I tend to go with “It’s her classroom, not mine.”) But this one just bothers me.

So, pretty much, either talk me out of the mama-bear cave or tell me what to say.

I wouldn't say anything until it actually impacts him.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Sounds ridiculous, especially for the girls.

I agree. Even DS mentioned that (though I expect he was just thinking that theirs more often has a line.)

I guess maybe I would wait a few days, see how he gets along, and see if the "new rule" holds up or fades away.

I think that's what I'll do for now.

 

[Colleen27]

There hasn’t been any parent communication that I know of, but I’m guessing that there has been some trouble in the bathrooms. (I still don’t think it’s fair to punish everyone for a few people, though.) As far as I'm concerned, access to bathroom facilities is a basic human need, and a legitimate health issue.

But I don’t even know what to say if I call. Do I ask if there has been trouble? If the measure is temporary? Do I call the office or the nurse? Is e-mail better? - Like I said, I generally avoid doing this sort of thing. (When DS doesn’t like some rule, I tend to go with “It’s her classroom, not mine.”) But this one just bothers me.

So, pretty much, either talk me out of the mama-bear cave or tell me what to say.

I'd probably be "that parent" over this one, mostly because my kids still in school are girls. You can plan ahead with routine bathroom needs (and my road-tripping kids had plenty of "pee before you do" lessons to draw on) but with tween/teen girls... telling them they can't use the ladies room, when for many of them their monthly cycle might be somewhat irregular and they're still learning how to manage it effectively, is a recipe for embarrassment. And I would raise that specific issue, as tactfully as possible, and watch our (fairly young, unmarried male) principal get a bit flustered and modify the policy (which is exactly how it went when he suggested a similar change at a parents' club meeting and several moms-of-girls spoke up). There are other ways to keep tabs on who is using the bathroom, assuming trouble in the restrooms is the issue, without making it difficult or embarrassing for kids to address their basic biological needs.

 

[mom2rtk]

I'd probably be "that parent" over this one, mostly because my kids still in school are girls. You can plan ahead with routine bathroom needs (and my road-tripping kids had plenty of "pee before you do" lessons to draw on) but with tween/teen girls... telling them they can't use the ladies room, when for many of them their monthly cycle might be somewhat irregular and they're still learning how to manage it effectively, is a recipe for embarrassment. And I would raise that specific issue, as tactfully as possible, and watch our (fairly young, unmarried male) principal get a bit flustered and modify the policy (which is exactly how it went when he suggested a similar change at a parents' club meeting and several moms-of-girls spoke up). There are other ways to keep tabs on who is using the bathroom, assuming trouble in the restrooms is the issue, without making it difficult or embarrassing for kids to address their basic biological needs.

This very thing came up when my son was in middle school. I actually complained to the principal. The next day my son reported back to me that the teacher made a snide comment in class about kids needing mommy and daddy to help them take care of things. It was hard, but I let it go at that point. He already dealt with enough bullies and didn't want me saying anything else. Really made me want to smack someone upside the head though. I'm so happy now that my daughter has a direct communication line to me by text. If any garbage like this comes up, she knows she can send up a flare and I'll help.

 

[mjkacmom]

So, I'm not typically "that parent" - to the point that I really don't know how to do it effectively. But I think there's something I may need to speak up about.

DS came home yesterday (first day back from break) telling me that the teachers received a memo that they are not supposed to send students to the bathroom anymore unless there is an absolute emergency.

I'm kind of out of touch here, as I sub elementary grades (so it's a vastly different system) but they expect the students to be able to go between classes - when most of them already carry everything around with them all day because they don't even have time to stop at their lockers! It's a huge school, and there is barely enough time to get from one end to the other without being late for class as it is.

There hasn’t been any parent communication that I know of, but I’m guessing that there has been some trouble in the bathrooms. (I still don’t think it’s fair to punish everyone for a few people, though.) As far as I'm concerned, access to bathroom facilities is a basic human need, and a legitimate health issue.

But I don’t even know what to say if I call. Do I ask if there has been trouble? If the measure is temporary? Do I call the office or the nurse? Is e-mail better? - Like I said, I generally avoid doing this sort of thing. (When DS doesn’t like some rule, I tend to go with “It’s her classroom, not mine.”) But this one just bothers me.

So, pretty much, either talk me out of the mama-bear cave or tell me what to say.

I'd probably say something, although it seems like after every first day of school, my HS kids seem to be told by every teacher to take care of bathrooming outside of their class time (and there is absolutely no time in between classes, I've been to every open house). Dd14 hasceliac, and I can actually get a 504 for her to allow her to be able to use the restroom whenever she wants. I've always told my kids that, in case of an emergency, just walk out of class, I'd have their back. So far, I've only gotten a text to pick up dd14 halfway home from school (almost a mile), because she really had to go, and apparently they lock the bathrooms before the end of the school day.

 

[PollyannaMom]

apparently they lock the bathrooms before the end of the school day.

Wow, that's ridiculous, too!! There are lots of kids with after-school activities who must need them.

I think DS is most bothered by the irony of it all - teachers/admin always talking about how they want the kids to act like responsible young adults, but treating them like babies who can't even go to the bathroom without adult control.

 

[MerissaAndMomLoveDis]

We had a small disaster today. I feel so bad for my daughter. She went to school this morning ready and prepared to take the AP World History exam. The teacher had the kids arrive at 7:30 and she had chick fila chicken minis and juices and test day goody bags for them--pen, pencil, granola bar, etc., along with personal encouragement notes. The kids all left to go to the room where the test would be proctored. In comes the teacher who is the test proctor, who is a very sweet lady and she is always volunteering for things to benefit the kids at school, but she is very soft spoken, she had never proctored a test before, English is not her first language, she struggled with many of the words in the instruction booklet the proctor reads, and when the students said huh? she did not know how to pronounce many of the words and she has a strong Turkish accent so the kids struggled to understand her, and the instructions took a very long time. Then she says ok you can start, and my DD, who has taken an AP exam before, said wait, don't open your booklets, what about the general instructions where we fill things out? The proctor had no idea. So...it took a bit to find an administrator to come and get it straightened out, and by the time they did, got the general instructions, and got it back under way, they did not start the test til 15 minutes after the 1 hour instruction period. During the test the proctor failed to tell them when the recommended time to switch had come during during the first section, did not do a good job keeping the time on the board, so a number of the kids did not finish. During the second switch time, she said it so quietly that a large number of the kids did not hear her. Fortunately, my DD did finish everything, and while she was really stressed by all the "extra" that went on, felt like she held it together and did pretty well. And then came the kicker--this afternoon, the kids have been told that the school is having to send in a report and their tests are likely to be invalidated. I have kept pretty quiet for my DD sake, and just been sympathetic and encouraging, but I am SO MAD. What the heck was her school thinking having this lady proctor????? There are at least 8 other teachers who are experienced, and this was the only AP test at the school today. This teacher is really very sweet, but she is very difficult to understand. AND, the test coordinator had all but two of the AP classes in the entire school pre-fill out all the name, ethnicity, etc. portion of the test form, but she said just didn't get around to my daughter's class. I am just so beyond irritated at my daughter's school and how time after time their disorganization and bad choices hurt the students. The kids were told several possible outcomes, and none of them are good. My daughter is hoping they don't invalidate, because she feels she might have still done pretty well, but she feels bad for her friends that got so rattled by all of the irregularities. So now we wait. Does anyone here have any previous experience with a situation like this where an AP exam might be invalidated??

 

[Pea-n-Me]

We had a small disaster today. I feel so bad for my daughter. She went to school this morning ready and prepared to take the AP World History exam. The teacher had the kids arrive at 7:30 and she had chick fila chicken minis and juices and test day goody bags for them--pen, pencil, granola bar, etc., along with personal encouragement notes. The kids all left to go to the room where the test would be proctored. In comes the teacher who is the test proctor, who is a very sweet lady and she is always volunteering for things to benefit the kids at school, but she is very soft spoken, she had never proctored a test before, English is not her first language, she struggled with many of the words in the instruction booklet the proctor reads, and when the students said huh? she did not know how to pronounce many of the words and she has a strong Turkish accent so the kids struggled to understand her, and the instructions took a very long time. Then she says ok you can start, and my DD, who has taken an AP exam before, said wait, don't open your booklets, what about the general instructions where we fill things out? The proctor had no idea. So...it took a bit to find an administrator to come and get it straightened out, and by the time they did, got the general instructions, and got it back under way, they did not start the test til 15 minutes after the 1 hour instruction period. During the test the proctor failed to tell them when the recommended time to switch had come during during the first section, did not do a good job keeping the time on the board, so a number of the kids did not finish. During the second switch time, she said it so quietly that a large number of the kids did not hear her. Fortunately, my DD did finish everything, and while she was really stressed by all the "extra" that went on, felt like she held it together and did pretty well. And then came the kicker--this afternoon, the kids have been told that the school is having to send in a report and their tests are likely to be invalidated. I have kept pretty quiet for my DD sake, and just been sympathetic and encouraging, but I am SO MAD. What the heck was her school thinking having this lady proctor????? There are at least 8 other teachers who are experienced, and this was the only AP test at the school today. This teacher is really very sweet, but she is very difficult to understand. AND, the test coordinator had all but two of the AP classes in the entire school pre-fill out all the name, ethnicity, etc. portion of the test form, but she said just didn't get around to my daughter's class. I am just so beyond irritated at my daughter's school and how time after time their disorganization and bad choices hurt the students. The kids were told several possible outcomes, and none of them are good. My daughter is hoping they don't invalidate, because she feels she might have still done pretty well, but she feels bad for her friends that got so rattled by all of the irregularities. So now we wait. Does anyone here have any previous experience with a situation like this where an AP exam might be invalidated??

Not with an AP exam, but both of my kids have had similar situatios with college professors this year, ie unable to understand them due to heavy accents and unusual ways of doing things for whatever reason. One example was a soft-spoken professor in a lecture hall speaking into a mike. Nobody could hear her, so a student asked if she could speak louder into the mike and she said no. It stinks what happened with the exam. (DD had some weird things happen with some of her exams, too.) But it could be preparation for what she'll encounter in college.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

As for the bathroom issue, we also had that happen in HS, too. I told both my kids to just get up and go if they really had to go, and go to the nurse's office if necessary, and we'd deal with the fallout afterward. I want to say that someone did have an accident in school and one can only imagine the humiliation it would cause a high schooler. The reason they put that rule into place was because people were walking around and fooling around instead of actually going to the bathroom, and they were smoking weed and vaping in bathrooms too. They even locked the bathrooms so students couldn't get in without a key. Not good. I was peeved about it as well, but didn't say anything, just told my kids the above, and it never became a problem other than one day when one teacher gave DD a hard time about going, but did let her go. This should not be something kids have to stress about in school, they have enough other things to stress about while there.

 

[mom2rtk]

We had a small disaster today. I feel so bad for my daughter. She went to school this morning ready and prepared to take the AP World History exam. The teacher had the kids arrive at 7:30 and she had chick fila chicken minis and juices and test day goody bags for them--pen, pencil, granola bar, etc., along with personal encouragement notes. The kids all left to go to the room where the test would be proctored. In comes the teacher who is the test proctor, who is a very sweet lady and she is always volunteering for things to benefit the kids at school, but she is very soft spoken, she had never proctored a test before, English is not her first language, she struggled with many of the words in the instruction booklet the proctor reads, and when the students said huh? she did not know how to pronounce many of the words and she has a strong Turkish accent so the kids struggled to understand her, and the instructions took a very long time. Then she says ok you can start, and my DD, who has taken an AP exam before, said wait, don't open your booklets, what about the general instructions where we fill things out? The proctor had no idea. So...it took a bit to find an administrator to come and get it straightened out, and by the time they did, got the general instructions, and got it back under way, they did not start the test til 15 minutes after the 1 hour instruction period. During the test the proctor failed to tell them when the recommended time to switch had come during during the first section, did not do a good job keeping the time on the board, so a number of the kids did not finish. During the second switch time, she said it so quietly that a large number of the kids did not hear her. Fortunately, my DD did finish everything, and while she was really stressed by all the "extra" that went on, felt like she held it together and did pretty well. And then came the kicker--this afternoon, the kids have been told that the school is having to send in a report and their tests are likely to be invalidated. I have kept pretty quiet for my DD sake, and just been sympathetic and encouraging, but I am SO MAD. What the heck was her school thinking having this lady proctor????? There are at least 8 other teachers who are experienced, and this was the only AP test at the school today. This teacher is really very sweet, but she is very difficult to understand. AND, the test coordinator had all but two of the AP classes in the entire school pre-fill out all the name, ethnicity, etc. portion of the test form, but she said just didn't get around to my daughter's class. I am just so beyond irritated at my daughter's school and how time after time their disorganization and bad choices hurt the students. The kids were told several possible outcomes, and none of them are good. My daughter is hoping they don't invalidate, because she feels she might have still done pretty well, but she feels bad for her friends that got so rattled by all of the irregularities. So now we wait. Does anyone here have any previous experience with a situation like this where an AP exam might be invalidated??

UGH. I'd be really unhappy about that too. I would probably need to have a chat with the principal (or assistant principal) to find out what their plan is to avoid anything like this happening again.

My DD's AP Euro exam is this afternoon. The morning was a total disaster and she was late to school. She's very stressed right now. She started her first job earlier this week and has worked several evenings this week already. I'm regretting letting her do that and will definitely adjust next year what we'll allow.

Regardless, this entire year has been a waste in that AP class. The teacher has been awful from day 1 and it has been a running joke that anything she learned in that class was self taught. I feel like I just lit a $100 bill on fire today.

Of course brother graduates college on the other side of the state bright and early tomorrow morning and we had planned to leave much earlier in the day but can't because of this waste of an exam today.

But man, that potential invalidation story would have pushed me right over the edge!

 

[ColoradoDisneyFreaks]

Our AP Euro test is today in DD's school too. She stayed home this morning so she could be well rested and get some studying in. They weren't doing anything in her morning classes anyway, so she's not missing anything.

We did find out that DD lettered in Science Olympiad! She got 2nd in the district for one of her subjects and the team made it to state, so they got letters!

 

[mom2rtk]

Our AP Euro test is today in DD's school too. She stayed home this morning so she could be well rested and get some studying in. They weren't doing anything in her morning classes anyway, so she's not missing anything.

We did find out that DD lettered in Science Olympiad! She got 2nd in the district for one of her subjects and the team made it to state, so they got letters!

That's a good call to let her stay home, study and get ready. I would have done the same if I thought there was any chance for credit for my DD. But we've pretty much accepted from early in the year that wouldn't be likely. This guy is just awful, and he's the only one teaching the class at her school.

Good luck to your DD! And congrats to her on the letter!

 

[momz]

This very thing came up when my son was in middle school. I actually complained to the principal. The next day my son reported back to me that the teacher made a snide comment in class about kids needing mommy and daddy to help them take care of things. It was hard, but I let it go at that point. He already dealt with enough bullies and didn't want me saying anything else. Really made me want to smack someone upside the head though. I'm so happy now that my daughter has a direct communication line to me by text. If any garbage like this comes up, she knows she can send up a flare and I'll help.

I learned not to talk with the teachers when DD got to middle school as well. It was a different issue though. Anyway, I met with two of her teachers (had requested a conference with one and she had one of her friend/co-worker show up too). The meeting didn't go well, it felt like the teachers teamed up on me and made my concerns seem petty. After that, DD's experience did not improve and there were random snide remarks from the teachers about mommy and daddy throughout the year. I know that other parents were communicating with the teachers in various ways including phone calls, emails, and meetings. And the results were the same across the board. The middle school teachers did not view parents involvement as helpful.

I realize the problem being discussed is a high school situation and specifically involving bathroom privileges that affect everybody in the whole school. Still, I think I would encourage my student to find a resolution independently of parental involvement.