Parents of College Freshman who are now Sophomores... UpDate 7/28/09

[horseshowmom]

Every student is different when it comes to spending money. My son spends all of his time in classes or studying or at the Library

DD said at her orientation they told them about a student whose parents had called the university to complain about the very large charges their child had on their credit card for the library. The administration had to explain to them that there is a bar in town that's named "The Library" and that was probably where those large charges came from...



(No reflection on your son intended!)

 

[mickeysgal]

DS will have a 10 meal plan - that covers Monday through Friday, two meals a day. If you don't use the two meals each and every day, you lose them at the end of the DAY. Yikes! They don't even fall off by the end of the week - it's the end of that DAY. Sat. and Sun. he's on his own. A 14 day meal plan - running Monday through Sun was available, but I'm hesitant based on this tight use-it-or-lose-it-immediately approach the school has. I really see this as a silent money maker for the school. I'll bet they have a ton of kids that let the meals just drop off.

I loaded his school expense account with $200. When I asked at the business office what is the "usual" amount, they said it varied. When I put the $200 on it, the guy made the comment, that it should hold him a few weeks. Just a few???

DS worked all summer. He's paying for his tuition (actually took out a loan), we're paying for meals, room and board, and books. We're encouraging him to get a PT job - he's a lifeguard. I'd like him to take over the daily spending (pizzas, movies, etc.), but I did load the account to get him started.

 

[Green Tea]

DD said at her orientation they told them about a student whose parents had called the university to complain about the very large charges their child had on their credit card for the library. The administration had to explain to them that there is a bar in town that's named "The Library" and that was probably where those large charges came from...



(No reflection on your son intended!)

That is hilarious!!

 

[Green Tea]

DH was thinking $200 and make him buy everything himself, including gas for the car, which I guess we still pay insurance on for him. Our card just be a true emergency thing, instilling that credit cards are not for everyday spending (good) and that he needs to be responsible for his own money, not look to the bank of dad.( good too) I just can't figure he needs 200 a month when all his food is covered, so still looking for those nice college kids here to weigh in!

 

[madge]

2 things I learned today:

1. I spoke to a friend whose son attends the same college as my DS. She said he gets $100/month. If wants or needs anything extra, he finds a way to earn it. But overall, $100/month has worked for both her kids.

2. When coming up with an amount for your student, it's important to consider the lifestyle you (as a parent) have created for your child. It's unrealistic to expect a student that has been riding on their parent's dime all their whole life to live on a strict budget. That isn't really a problem for my family, I don't think .. we've asked DS to contribute to his gas, insurance, and other frivolous expenses over the years. But, according to the article I read, this is a common occurance. Parents footing the bill, and then asking their kids to get by on less that's been provided them all their lives. I thought that was interesting.

 

[FINFAN]

Green Tea, that is nice that the cable bill is included for you guys. Ours is seperate...only the phone line is included in the room and board. Pretty much EVERYTHING is ala carte at DD's school. To put it in perspective,
her cost breaks down to 5200 a month over 8 months. It's insane. We are definitely approaching this school one year at a time. She will be looking at off campus housing for sure for her sophomore year.

 

[PenguinWaiters]

Hi - I want to second what others have said about the benefit of a pt job for students. I work at a college and I would strongly recommend that all students who are eligible and not already involved in something that is VERY time consuming think about taking a job ON CAMPUS.

There are 3 great things about ON CAMPUS jobs:

1. They are used to working with college students and are generally very flexible and also understanding about things like time off for tests, projects, etc... I have some students who only work for me 5 hours a week. And that is no problem with me. They get about $30 spending money (after taxes) and I get a little help each week. If they need a week off because they have a big exam - give me some notice and no problem!

2. This gives them a connection to some college staff - people they can go to if they have an issue that they are not sure how to address. I have helped almost every student that has worked for me with some issue or another - either by just listening, by giving some advice from my experience, or in some cases by actively helping them solve an issue by using my contacts on campus.

3. This gives them some insider info about one aspect of college life. One of our Admissions Counselors was also a student with us way back when. She spoke to her advisor at that time about problems/questions she had about financial aid. He recommended that she get a job with that office to better understand the dept. She did, and managed to learn enough to really make a difference in her $$ for school - she learned more about the process and also things such as what grants/scholarships were easier to get than others.

We also work with students in their academic areas if they are interested - a Marketing student might help us with our promotion of campus events, we had a great Computer student help us build our website, etc...

So, help your budget and help your student (and help me - I always need student help and I LOVE to work with students, that is why I have this job!) by encouraging them to work on campus!

 

[MerryPoppins]

Green Tea, that is nice that the cable bill is included for you guys. Ours is seperate...only the phone line is included in the room and board.

Our dorms are the opposite. Cable is included, but if you want a phone line it's extra. They've found that most kids have cells and don't need a land line phone.

 

[momrek06]

CONGRATULATIONS to all DISer's whose kiddos are headed off to college!!!


This will be a bittersweet Sept for DH & I, as after 8 years of (sept.) college move-ins....we are done. Both my DS' graduated; one in '04 and returned nights (to the same college) for his masters, grad in '08! DS#2 grad bachelors '08. DS' were at the same college....so for the last eight years DH & I would pack up the cars, drive them to college, get their rooms in order, help them unpack, head over to the bookstore for their books and then say our goodbyes.

On the flip side, we will NOT miss the tuition bills.

 

[AllisonK]

Hi - I want to second what others have said about the benefit of a pt job for students. I work at a college and I would strongly recommend that all students who are eligible and not already involved in something that is VERY time consuming think about taking a job ON CAMPUS.

There are 3 great things about ON CAMPUS jobs:

1. They are used to working with college students and are generally very flexible and also understanding about things like time off for tests, projects, etc... I have some students who only work for me 5 hours a week. And that is no problem with me. They get about $30 spending money (after taxes) and I get a little help each week. If they need a week off because they have a big exam - give me some notice and no problem!

2. This gives them a connection to some college staff - people they can go to if they have an issue that they are not sure how to address. I have helped almost every student that has worked for me with some issue or another - either by just listening, by giving some advice from my experience, or in some cases by actively helping them solve an issue by using my contacts on campus.

3. This gives them some insider info about one aspect of college life. One of our Admissions Counselors was also a student with us way back when. She spoke to her advisor at that time about problems/questions she had about financial aid. He recommended that she get a job with that office to better understand the dept. She did, and managed to learn enough to really make a difference in her $$ for school - she learned more about the process and also things such as what grants/scholarships were easier to get than others.

We also work with students in their academic areas if they are interested - a Marketing student might help us with our promotion of campus events, we had a great Computer student help us build our website, etc...

So, help your budget and help your student (and help me - I always need student help and I LOVE to work with students, that is why I have this job!) by encouraging them to work on campus!

I couldn't agree more. I'm a sophomore this year and work on campus in our Admissions Office. I LOVE it! I work 10 hours a week or so, which is perfect, and gives me roughly $300 or so a month, which is more than enough spending money. I work in the back of the office, filing and doing mail and such, but by having my job in the back I ended up also working up front as a volunteer tour guide and helping at University events. I truly love my job and it has really helped me time manage and maintain good grades. I'm just waiting ever-so-impatiently so that I can get back to school and start work again! (It was so hard to find a job this summer and it took me over a month to actually do so - it took me 20 minutes to find my campus job and all I have to do when I go back in two weeks is drop in to see my supervisor to find out how I go about getting the paperwork for my work study set up.)

 

[Amy]

Oh boy....we're getting down to the wire - we're moving DS to college on Saturday! Only 3 more days, YIKES!

Last night was "interesting" - DS18 was working 5-9. By 10pm, he still wasn't home (the pizza shop is only about 3-4 miles from home). I was little concerned but trying not to show it. DS16 was really getting worried (aw, I guess despite all the fighting my boys really DO care about each other!). At 10:15 I called DS18's cell phone; it rang 4 times and bounced to voicemail, so I left a message. 10:30, still no DS and no phone calls; DS16 is really getting worried now. At 10:45, DH called the pizza place where DS works. Turns out, they asked him to work until 10 when they close and help with closing, and he was still mopping the floor. Gee, ya think he woulda called and told us? Kids!

But I guess this is just a taste of what's to come.....after Saturday, we won't know where he is or who he's with or what time he gets home or what he's doing. Scary thing! We just have to hope and pray that he's got a good head on his shoulders and will take care of himself!

 

[horseshowmom]

But I guess this is just a taste of what's to come.....after Saturday, we won't know where he is or who he's with or what time he gets home or what he's doing. Scary thing! We just have to hope and pray that he's got a good head on his shoulders and will take care of himself!

If it helps any, you'll probably find that you don't worry about him as much when he's at school (out of sight out of mind, I guess! ). Now, when he's at home, you'll go right back to worrying as usual.

My SIL told me that several years ago, and I didn't quite believer her, but I can honestly say that it's turned out to be the truth for me too.

Good luck!

 

[madge]

Oh boy....we're getting down to the wire - we're moving DS to college on Saturday! Only 3 more days, YIKES!


But I guess this is just a taste of what's to come.....after Saturday, we won't know where he is or who he's with or what time he gets home or what he's doing. Scary thing! We just have to hope and pray that he's got a good head on his shoulders and will take care of himself!

good luck, Amy!! it's our turn next week - DS has his move in day on Thursday!

DS had a little bit of awkwardness this week with the roommate - it was DS (and my) understanding that most of the kids at the school work it out where one brings the fridge, one brings the microwave, etc. DS met his roommate last month at a retreat and they agreed that DS would bring the fridge and roommate would bring the microwave. My DS gets a random email last night from the roommate telling DS that his parents are insisting the roommate has his own fridge. So, he'll be bringing one of his own. (there was also wording about he didn't know why his mom was doing that) Now DS feels a little funny about not having his own microwave, and I think he's embarrassed because all the kids we know at that school share stuff like that in their rooms. Weird.

 

[RitaE]

we're driving down Saturday and move in is Sunday.

His girlfriend is leaving today for her school and tonight was the "last night together."

I was really trying to be sympathetic but he was over at her house until about 2am this morning. Holy crap their college towns are only 25 minutes apart, you'd think the Navy was shipping him off to the Pacific basin the way they were acting.

drama drama drama

My DS gets a random email last night from the roommate telling DS that his parents are insisting the roommate has his own fridge. So, he'll be bringing one of his own. (there was also wording about he didn't know why his mom was doing that) Now DS feels a little funny about not having his own microwave, and I think he's embarrassed because all the kids we know at that school share stuff like that in their rooms. Weird.

blech. How big is their room? I bet somebody takes a fridge back home.

 

[madge]

blech. How big is their room? I bet somebody takes a fridge back home.

not very big.

DS' roommate is also bringing his girlfriend to college ... more or less. The girl is attending the same school. Not sure how that will all play out.

 

[Green Tea]

madge: this does not sound like a good start. I'm sorry. Maybe once they get in there things will work out.

We are in the less than a week countdown now. I am busy micromanaging, he is busy ignoring the whole thing.

 

[Amy]

DS had a little bit of awkwardness this week with the roommate - it was DS (and my) understanding that most of the kids at the school work it out where one brings the fridge, one brings the microwave, etc. DS met his roommate last month at a retreat and they agreed that DS would bring the fridge and roommate would bring the microwave. My DS gets a random email last night from the roommate telling DS that his parents are insisting the roommate has his own fridge. So, he'll be bringing one of his own. (there was also wording about he didn't know why his mom was doing that) Now DS feels a little funny about not having his own microwave, and I think he's embarrassed because all the kids we know at that school share stuff like that in their rooms. Weird.

I'll bet I can tell you exactly WHY the roommate's mom is making him bring his own fridge. My dad made the same comment to my DS, trying to give him "advice" - my dad told DS to bring ALL his own stuff, "none of this sharing" the fridge or stereo or microwave. Know why? Back when my brother first went to college (we're talking 30+ years ago), his first roommate was a kid who didn't want to go to college, his parents forced him to go, so of course he didn't care a damn about anything. He was a slob (you should have seen the dorm room!), borrowed stuff and never returned it or broke it, etc., etc. (Needless to say my brother found another roommate the next year.) Anyway, dear-old-dad thinks that every roommate situation will be like that!

I made sure I told DS not to listen to his grandfather, that that is the absolutely WRONG way to go into the whole roommate thing. I told him that he and his roommate decided on who was bringing what and they're going to share. If it turns out down the road that there are problems, then he'll have to deal with it, but he's to go into this with the attitude that everything will work out just fine and it probably will be ok.

 

[pixie dust 112]

DD said at her orientation they told them about a student whose parents had called the university to complain about the very large charges their child had on their credit card for the library. The administration had to explain to them that there is a bar in town that's named "The Library" and that was probably where those large charges came from...



(No reflection on your son intended!)

Your bringing back good memories. When I was in college, I was a member of POETS club on Friday nights. If my parents called my roommate could just tell them I was at POETS club. Poets stood for Piss On Everything Tomorrow's Saturday. It was at a downtown pub. Students purchased a card each semester for $5.00 which entitled you to 1/2 price drinks on Friday nights and a free dinner buffet during finals week at that particular pub...and the added benefit of letting your parents think you were doing something academic on Friday nights! Of course drinking age was 18 then....so I'm sure this sort of thing no longer happens! Don;t mean to scare you parents.

On a related note, my DD is going into her senior year of high school, and we are just beginning the college search and I'm already crying from time to time, can't imagine what next year will be like at this time so I send you all

 

[mickeysgal]

If it helps any, you'll probably find that you don't worry about him as much when he's at school (out of sight out of mind, I guess! ). Now, when he's at home, you'll go right back to worrying as usual.

My SIL told me that several years ago, and I didn't quite believer her, but I can honestly say that it's turned out to be the truth for me too.

Good luck!

So many people have told me this, but I can't see how *I* am going to worry less. Perhaps I'll just get used to worrying.

 

[mickeysgal]

When I was in college, I was a member of POETS club on Friday nights. If my parents called my roommate could just tell them I was at POETS club. Poets stood for Piss On Everything Tomorrow's Saturday. It was at a downtown pub.

OMG!