Parents of College Class of 2018 (A.K.A., "Is this the line to the poor house?")

[TLuvsD]

The book "Paying for College Without Going Broke" has great FASFA directions, especially for anyone who owns their own small business. DH owns an accounting/financial planning business--he LOVES this book and their directions. We pickup the update version every year (it's about $15). It is also at our public library.

 

[IDoDis]

Wow, that's crazy!!!! Maybe the food is that much better ? Trying to help you out here.

I am back to whining again. I am so bugged by this Yale conversation that she had with her counselor. I was trying to get some info out of her last night, and she said she is "afraid she is settling" for the state school. The day before this conversation she was super excited to get the housing/dining application in the mail. I am tempted to let her apply to Yale, knowing chances are slim to none, no matter what her GPA and ACT scores, just so she will have tried.
I too, felt maybe she was settling at first, but when I sat down and really thought about it, I felt good about it. This school is very affordable. And for someone majoring in Film and English it scares the crap out of me to think of her coming out of school with $60-$80k in loans, which is probably what would happen if she went to an out of state school. Many of the schools I have looked at with film programs are $40-$50k per year, even with scholarships, there is a BIG chunk left on the table to pay. If she were going to med school or engineering or something, then maybe the loans wouldn't be such a fear for me, but they are.
I am just so sad after hearing her say that last night. I'm hoping when we go back up to the school next week, her excitement will return.
OMG, she was even telling me about the "dorms" at Yale. UGH. Thanks for listening to me whine!!! Again!

Go ahead and let her apply just for fun to see what happens, although the application is probably very time consuming. Seems like every piece of mail DD received from the Ivies stated that income is not an issue and to not let that stand in the way. Now I know what's in print and what is reality is probably vastly different, but she won't know unless she tries. I don't think anyone should be spending their 401K on college though. Your retirement has to come first. I've read that in most cases it really doesn't matter what college someone attends. It's having the degree that is important. Yeah, it would sound good for your DD to say she graduated from Yale, but if she bombs a job interview, it really won't matter that she went to Yale.

My DD wanted to send in an Ivy application just to see if she could get in, but then when she saw all of the work involved with that process including interviews and such, she just let it go. She could get into lots of great colleges in the US, but really wants to stay here which I'm fine with because I am not willing to go broke or have her saddled with debt for undergrad school when she'll have a HUGE debt after that for med school. We are hoping she can get her undergrad degree without incurring any debt.

FWIW, my DD's GC gave them a little quiz freshman year (when DD was in all honors classes) and basically told her the results said she would amount to nothing. She didn't have the aptitude for much beyond maybe working as a clerk in a store or something equally ego bruising. I told my DD to let it go and ignore her. Not to let anyone else dictate what you are capable of. I find my DD's GC to be more of a hinderance than a help. She's been barking at them to get their apps started, then when we need something from her for the app she's too busy and doesn't know when she'll get to it.

I understand why she was pushing your DD outside her comfort zone, but without knowing a family's situation (financial and otherwise), she shouldn't have made your daughter feel like her first choice was insignificant and subpar.

A friend of mine had a similar thing happen to her daughter on one of those tests when she was in HS. The test results came back saying that her best career match was a bus driver!!!! Wow, what a way to bring a kid down! She's a junior in college now majoring in business.

So my DD has not had any interaction at all with her GC. Is that abnormal?? One of her scholarship applications asks for the GC's name and phone number, but if they call him and ask him about her, he's going have no clue who she is, aside from a message I left him and an email he returned to me about DD dropping the psych class. We ended up dealing with the principal on that issue and not the GC.

 

[TLuvsD]

IDoDis does your school have a "Boast Page" or "Brag Sheet" you can give the GC. That's how we provided critical info to the GC at D's school. It gave the GC details on a lot of EC's (both in school and out of school--a lot of D's were out of school). Although the GC knew D, and had a general idea of what she participated in, the Brag Sheet gave her a lot of specific information she could use for references. If the school doesn't have one, make up your own--D's was similar to a resume.

 

[Bluestars]

No, we have a freshman & a senior but both are just in high school. A&M is our senior's (DD17) first choice (Baylor which costs twice as much is her 2nd choice). Our freshman (DD14) is already set on A&M and is determined to make it happen....lol.

They probably told you this when you visited but A&M is #1 in the state and #8 in the nation as far as employer recruitment.

Oh, I see. You have a freshman and a senior. I got confused. My son's first choice was Rensselaer until he toured Texas A & M. Now A & M is his first choice and Rensselaer is his second choice. What made the difference is the cadet program because he wants to go into the military after graduating.

Yes, we were told about A & M's ratings and I also looked up a lot of information online and am impressed. He's at the school tonight for the cadet thing and I can't wait to hear how it goes when he gets back tomorrow.

That's great that both of your kids are thinking about A & M. That makes the choice easy.

 

[Bluestars]

Ah... the only reason I asked is because as I understand it, Engineering is now full as of a few days ago. I know a lot of people who aren't as familiar with A&M don't realize how popular the Engineering program is (as well as the Mays business program), and that is why everyone scrambles to apply August 1st.

I know they're still processing applications, though -- the auto-admits take up about 80-90% of the available spots, and most of those have already been accepted -- but someone who is an auto-admit can apply right up to the deadline and still get in, just not to the major of their choice.

The Corps is amazing... My son wanted no part of it, but we both have immense respect for those Cadets! They are some of the most disciplined, polite-yet-warm people you will ever meet. Good luck to your son!

Engineering is full? I had no idea! Thank you for mentioning this. This might change his course of action entirely. Wow. I thought we were ahead of the game. Now I will feel bad for him if he comes back tomorrow all excited. Oh well, it's better to know than not know.

 

[JediBonas]

Oh, I see. You have a freshman and a senior. I got confused. My son's first choice was Rensselaer until he toured Texas A & M. Now A & M is his first choice and Rensselaer is his second choice. What made the difference is the cadet program because he wants to go into the military after graduating.

Yes, we were told about A & M's ratings and I also looked up a lot of information online and am impressed. He's at the school tonight for the cadet thing and I can't wait to hear how it goes when he gets back tomorrow.

That's great that both of your kids are thinking about A & M. That makes the choice easy.

I work for an engineering firm and we have lots of RPI alum (including my DH). Has he looked at West Point? We have a couple civil engineers from there, too.

 

[Bluestars]

I work for an engineering firm and we have lots of RPI alum (including my DH). Has he looked at West Point? We have a couple civil engineers from there, too.

My son loved RPI, he just liked the cadet program at Texas. We weren't able to meet anyone at RPI in the ROTC program while we were there because we toured on a Saturday and those offices were closed.

He originally wanted the Naval Academy, but he is partially color blind so he realized that even on the slim chance he got accepted, his job choices would be limited. Same with the air force. The army only requires bright red green, so he felt that he could have a good career with them. By the time he realized that Naval Academy wasn't a realistic option, he decided to just took at state and private schools with good engineering programs.

 

[Gina]

Engineering is full? I had no idea! Thank you for mentioning this. This might change his course of action entirely. Wow. I thought we were ahead of the game. Now I will feel bad for him if he comes back tomorrow all excited. Oh well, it's better to know than not know.

It's an extremely competitive major... But it's not like he can't get in, just maybe not right off. He might have to go in under a non-declared major and then switch after he's been there. From what I understand, that first semester or two of Engineering weeds a whooooole lot of students who bit off more than they could chew. So odds are good he'd be able to switch over just fine. Hope he's having an awesome time with the Corps as we speak!


-gina-

 

[Gina]

I also meant to say, it depends on the type of Engineering -- some are much more competitive than others, with Mechanical Engineering being the most so. Hope this helps!

 

[Bluestars]

I also meant to say, it depends on the type of Engineering -- some are much more competitive than others, with Mechanical Engineering being the most so. Hope this helps!

Thanks Gina. How does it work? Do they tell you when you are accepted that your choice is full and suggest other options?

 

[IDoDis]

IDoDis does your school have a "Boast Page" or "Brag Sheet" you can give the GC. That's how we provided critical info to the GC at D's school. It gave the GC details on a lot of EC's (both in school and out of school--a lot of D's were out of school). Although the GC knew D, and had a general idea of what she participated in, the Brag Sheet gave her a lot of specific information she could use for references. If the school doesn't have one, make up your own--D's was similar to a resume.

No, the school doesn't have any type of "brag sheet" that I'm aware of but I will tell DD to give him one of her own. She has a resume of sorts with all of her EC's on it that she sent out to the teachers who she asked to submit recommendations letters for her. I would have never thought to have her give or email one to the GC. I just hope he remembers he has it should he get a phone call! The school is pretty big and he's never interacted with DD.

 

[Gina]

Thanks Gina. How does it work? Do they tell you when you are accepted that your choice is full and suggest other options?

I think it'll tell you in AIS once you log into the Howdy Portal... But it's very easy to choose something else in AIS as well. Check it super often -- that's where anything and everything will be conveyed to you and your son!

 

[Bluestars]

I think it'll tell you in AIS once you log into the Howdy Portal... But it's very easy to choose something else in AIS as well. Check it super often -- that's where anything and everything will be conveyed to you and your son!

Thank you. This is all new to me. I'll have him check often.

 

[JeannieNM]

DD really liked a lot things about U of A where we were last weekend and would like to consider other large state universities with strong performing arts. Her other desires are: warm sunny climate, Greek life option, school spirit, in a city either large or small, (supporting a college football or basketball team or just general spirit),not a commuter or suitcase school. Thanks in advance for the help!

IdoIDo- I think we have DD reconsidering looking at Colorado. CSU called her this weekend and asked her to consider applying. If we can get her to go to look there we will also visit Univ of Colorado at Boulder.

Elgerber- It sounds so tempting to be completely done with the process so early but I may be worth while covering all bases. The worst that will happen is you DD won't have a choice in her dorm at the school she has been accepted to. I see with my DD and with many of her friends who are anywhere from college freshman to seniors, that the process keeps going on all throughout the year. What they want may stay constant or change completely. Going to an informational meeting does not cost anything, your dd may find as others have said, that Yale is not what she wants. Better for her to discover this herself then be told this. Figure out what you can afford with travel, etc, and have DD meet with her GC and ask what out of state schools are available to me that are in my budget and acceptable distance from home. Again, others have said some private schools give more money then state schools, you just never know. I think it is great that your DD is already accepted at a place she is happy going, it makes all the rest of the exploring stress free, if she finds something that works better for her great and if she does not she is still set. JMHO

DD is still at rehearsal. Between play rehearsal and dance class she is busy all day tomorrow, then out Saturday night. I am hoping it is a light homework weekend and Sunday will be a productive application day.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

 

[lvloopingbag]

Phew! We are getting down to the wire for the 11/1 ED/EA applications. DS is down to 2 favorites and will revisit this week to make his final decision. And even then, we know he may not get in.......The competition is fierce out there...

Is anyone else in the same boat? It is our first and only child applying to college, so it is nerve wracking to say the least........

 

[momto3gr8boys]

Phew! We are getting down to the wire for the 11/1 ED/EA applications. DS is down to 2 favorites and will revisit this week to make his final decision. And even then, we know he may not get in.......The competition is fierce out there...

Is anyone else in the same boat? It is our first and only child applying to college, so it is nerve wracking to say the least........

Yes, we are right along with you! DS (oldest too, so this is our first time as well), has his heart set on his first choice and submitted his ED application last Tuesday. It's not a true reach, but not a shoe-in match either. There just seems to be no rhyme or reason to some of the acceptances and rejections we've seen other kids get, so that's where the stress comes in. His other apps are ready to go, but not yet submitted. He is planning on studying pharmacy, which is making it difficult because some of these schools would be safety schools for him, but the pharmD programs change that. One school has a 70% general acceptance rate, but the pharm program has a 13% acceptance rate and the grade requirements go from a safety school to a reach! So we are totally stressed lol. But you are not alone!

He is not my only. I have a sophomore, so we will be doing this again as soon as my oldest is settled, and my youngest is in 7th grade, so I should have it down pat by then lol.

Sent from my iPad using DISBoards

 

[lvloopingbag]

Momto3gr8boys,

Best of luck to your son! 13% is tough.......I hope it all works out!

 

[Mom21]

For those already getting acceptance letters, is the school on a rolling admissions? 3 of 4 of the schools my dd is applying to won't give out acceptance letters until Dec 1 they said. One is on a rolling admissions but she hasn't even done the app for that yet. It is her last choice. She is trying to get the others with deadlines done first. She finished first 2 and hopefully will finish the 3rd by next weekend. Honestly we aren't as on top of this as we should be.

 

[Bluestars]

Yes, we are right along with you! DS (oldest too, so this is our first time as well), has his heart set on his first choice and submitted his ED application last Tuesday. It's not a true reach, but not a shoe-in match either. There just seems to be no rhyme or reason to some of the acceptances and rejections we've seen other kids get, so that's where the stress comes in. His other apps are ready to go, but not yet submitted. He is planning on studying pharmacy, which is making it difficult because some of these schools would be safety schools for him, but the pharmD programs change that. One school has a 70% general acceptance rate, but the pharm program has a 13% acceptance rate and the grade requirements go from a safety school to a reach! So we are totally stressed lol. But you are not alone!

He is not my only. I have a sophomore, so we will be doing this again as soon as my oldest is settled, and my youngest is in 7th grade, so I should have it down pat by then lol.

Sent from my iPad using DISBoards

Oh wow, a 13% acceptance rate is tough. Good luck to your son. I hope he gets in.

My son just got back from the Texas A & M night with a cadet program and he loved it! He said that every single person he met was nice. He had a wonderful time and this is now the only college he wants to attend. The school has received all of his application information, so we are just waiting to hear if he is accepted.

Gina, I told him about the engineering programs being full and he was fine with it. He said that he was having second thoughts about going into engineering anyway. He is much stronger in English, reading, government, and history. Now he is thinking about a different major, so going in undecided is actually a good thing. I am relieved that he won't go into college and take courses that are over his head.

I don't know how competitive it is for an out of state student to get into Texas A & M, so we will feel much better if and when he sees that he is accepted.

 

[JeannieNM]

DD has only one app submitted. She is doing one EC and will try and get a little more done on that tomorrow, it has 5 essays and a DVD. She also told me that she is no longer stuck on going to school in CA so she wants to add some other schools to her list. She has 3-4 schools whose apps are due Nov. 30 (no EC option) but decisions won't come out until the very end of March. So far only one school offers EC, one is rolling which she applied to and will hear by Nov. 1. The rest are end of March. She is also still waiting for her last set of ACT scores which we hope to have by next week so we can send those out.

momto3gboys- I feel for you. DD is in the same boat though different major. She applied to one school that is 70% acceptance too, but she applied in dance which is less than 9% acceptance. Good luck to your DS.

It is also becoming increasingly hard to train for auditions and keep up with her school work and theater rehearsals, there are just not enough hours in the day. I sometimes questions the wisdom of AP Physics over taking another dance class. One of her friends who is making great strides in his dancing is not taking very many academic courses and many dance courses. DD is taking things like AP Physics and French 5....second guessing these decisions. I just love worrying.