Parents/Grandparents kissing kids on the lips?

[matthew&haleysmom]

Not through my lips they don't

 

[timzagain]

When we were little, we kissed our parents on the lips. Don't know at what stage/ age it happened but that stopped, and it was strictly on the cheek after that.

I never initiate kisses on the lips with my children. Not a germ issue - it just doesn't seem appropriate it to me, a hangup based on childhood experience! I can just imagine Dh's ex-wife throwing a fit about if I attempted to do it to my stepchildren. Then again, I'd probably be very distressed if I heard that my ex's gf was kissing my child on the lips, so I shouldn't complain.

However, my youngest DD still kisses me on the lips (her idea, not mine)- apparently I'm the only one on the planet that enjoys that privelege! She's 10, but often acts younger! DH just gets the big-I'm-crushing-my-face-into-your-cheek kind of kisses! Knowing DD, she'd probably feel very rejected if I told her not to kiss me on the lips, so for now I'm going to leave it alone. Pretty soon, she'll be at the stage when kissing Mom won't be cool.

I'm enjoying the kisses now when I can get them. My eldest DD stopped the kissing thing (never on the lips) for a while. Now at 16 years old, she suddenly realizes that kissing/ hugging Mom is not "social suicide" I suppose it helps that her friends think I'm cool!

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

I'm very surprised about all the people who don't kiss their children on the lips because of germs. OMG! They are your kids!

I understand that some people have a hang up about lip kissing but to say I won't kiss my children on the lips because I'm afraid they'll give me something. Sorry but...

I'm glad I never heard that statement from my mom, nor will my kids ever hear that from me.

 

[timzagain]

Just a thought for those who are worried about germs....you are aware of the way that babies enter the world right?

That's hysterical. I have got to share your post with my friend with a teenaged germ-phobic son, who'd apparently rather see his mother die of thirst that to have her (gasp!) take a sip of his drink!

She got so mad at his squeamish behaviour once that she reminded him in no uncertain terms of his entry in to the world. Something along the lines of "Boy, I know you do science at school. Did you forget where you came out when you were born??? And you're fretting about me sipping your drink???" I was shocked at her tactlessness but the expression on the kid's face was well worth it! It was as though he'd never given any thought to the "portal" by which he entered the world...

 

[nessz79]

That's hysterical. I have got to share your post with my friend with a teenaged germ-phobic son, who'd apparently rather see his mother die of thirst that to have her (gasp!) take a sip of his drink!

She got so mad at his squeamish behaviour once that she reminded him in no uncertain terms of his entry in to the world. Something along the lines of "Boy, I know you do science at school. Did you forget where you came out when you were born??? And you're fretting about me sipping your drink???" I was shocked at her tactlessness but the expression on the kid's face was well worth it! It was as though he'd never given any thought to the "portal" by which he entered the world...

Wow, I bet he about died!

 

[ajk912]

I'm very surprised about all the people who don't kiss their children on the lips because of germs. OMG! They are your kids!

I understand that some people have a hang up about lip kissing but to say I won't kiss my children on the lips because I'm afraid they'll give me something. Sorry but...

I'm glad I never heard that statement from my mom, nor will my kids ever hear that from me.

Oh no..you just tell them that you NEVER EVER kiss anyone on the lips ever..because of germs. See, if everyone did that, I think it would help the teenage pregnancy rate as well, don't you think?

Me, I doubt my kids would end up in therapy since our way of affection around here is a HUGEEEE hug and a squeeze.

 

[ajk912]

That's hysterical. I have got to share your post with my friend with a teenaged germ-phobic son, who'd apparently rather see his mother die of thirst that to have her (gasp!) take a sip of his drink!

She got so mad at his squeamish behaviour once that she reminded him in no uncertain terms of his entry in to the world. Something along the lines of "Boy, I know you do science at school. Did you forget where you came out when you were born??? And you're fretting about me sipping your drink???" I was shocked at her tactlessness but the expression on the kid's face was well worth it! It was as though he'd never given any thought to the "portal" by which he entered the world...

This especially skeeves me out. I do share drinks with my kids or my DH on occasion, in emergencies only. But have you SEEN how much a kid (especially a little kid!) backwashes? Omg, gross. All those little floaties in there...

Have I been watching J&K+8 too much?

 

[TinaLala]

My husband is French and I am not - the very first day I met his grandmother - she kissed me on the lips - his entire family kiss on the lips all the time when they see each other, when they are saying good bye. Honestly it freaks me out. I love these people (usually) but honestly I don't think it's necessary to be that close.

What I did to stop it was to turn my cheek the very next time they came at me with those puckered lips. Then I would just say I don't like that.

On the Germ issue - I kiss my girls on the lips all the time. If we have colds then no we kiss on the cheek. Germs - hello you're going to get more germs from touching the remote, the phone or hello the same keyboard they've just touched with those nasty fingers. There's more germs on their hands then on their lips - it's inside their mouths that's nasty.

 

[Patti_C]

Lip kissers here, Grandaughters 5,3 and 1 would have it no other way. ds is 28 and still kisses me on the lips, even around his friends when we are leaving each other! Some say it is wierd but we feel very comfortable with it. One of his friends even commented to him that he wished his mom would show him any kind of affection. dil and I just give hugs and kisses on the cheek, in-laws are big lip kissers, it doesn't bother me any more after all these years I am very used to it!

 

[hardingk]

I was raised in a family that really only hugs hello and good bye....not a lot of affection. My FIL insists on kissing on the lips hello and good bye. It is gross and I always turn my face. IMHO, that is something that should just be for husband and wifes (or partners, etc). We are expecting our first child next month and I am going to lay down the law from the begining, that the baby is not to be kissed that way.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Oh no..you just tell them that you NEVER EVER kiss anyone on the lips ever..because of germs. See, if everyone did that, I think it would help the teenage pregnancy rate as well, don't you think?

Me, I doubt my kids would end up in therapy since our way of affection around here is a HUGEEEE hug and a squeeze.

I doubt if teens didn't kiss if it would drop the pregnancy rate,,,ummm kissing doesn't cause pregnancy.

I guess different strokes, but sorry I still think its weird the reason you don't kiss your kids is because of germs. There is way way easier ways to pick up things then by kissing your kids on the lips.

Like I said in pp I understand cultures are different , my DH and I come from different ones,,,but germs from your own kids I guess I'll never comprehend that one.

 

[TKERBELL]

I come from a family of kissers, huggers, mushers, squeezers- we love all over each other, cousins, aunt's, uncles - never really gave any of it much thought -

DS14 will not hear of any kissing (in front of his friends) however he makes up for it when he calls out - LOVE YOU!!!!

DS12 still like his kisses

DS7 is very affectionate -

Everyone is different - that is why there is chocolate and vanilla ice cream!!! (and strawberry, and cookies-n-cream, andblack cherry and........)

 

[thegrimdwarf]

Seriously? You skeeve your own kids?

Yes, seriously. In my opinion, there's no need for an adult to kiss a child on the lips. Skeeves me out to see other people do it with their own kids. I personally don't see any reason for it. But to each his own.

 

[*pixie*dust*]

My DS is 3 and he is definately a lip kisser. But only on his own terms and with certain people. He hugs the others. He will always lip kiss me, his granny, his cousin (2) and his gigi. Everyone else gets hugs or "thrown" kisses. I am fine with it if its his idea. I don't like it when others try and "force" a good-bye kiss.

 

[nessz79]

I was raised in a family that really only hugs hello and good bye....not a lot of affection. My FIL insists on kissing on the lips hello and good bye. It is gross and I always turn my face. IMHO, that is something that should just be for husband and wifes (or partners, etc). We are expecting our first child next month and I am going to lay down the law from the begining, that the baby is not to be kissed that way.

Just be careful. I know that people that are used to kissing on the lips (like my mother's side of the family) get hurt feelings when people think it's "gross". I would approach it in a more delicate way if I were you.

As I said in a previous post on this thread, I just turned my cheek when my mom went to kiss me on the lips. It took several times of this and I think it still hurt her feelings a little. Fast forward a few months and she gets it. I think if I were to verbalize it, I would have crushed her feelings.

Everyone's different, but my 2 cents

 

[brandylouwho]

My family are not lip kissers, but DH are...I always reserved that for boyfriends (now husband) so it does bug me when my MIL kisses them on the lips. The eldest now tries to her cheek to grandma instead. I try not to make a big deal out of it.

It isn't a germ thing for me, just an intimacy thing I guess. In my brain (warped as it may be) lip kissing, as innocent as it is, is a precursor for sexual intimacy. I do realize that is not how everyone sees, but that is how my brain sees it.

If my girls do kiss me or dad on the lips by accident, we just laugh about it and then get a bonus kiss on the cheek.

 

[parmtoo]

Big family of lip kissers here! My kids, 2 grown girls w/ children of their own, one boy, 13, all kiss me and DH on the lips. We have 3 grandson's, 2yo & two 4 month olds, and we all kiss them on the lips too. The 2 yo kisses the babies all the time............I see nothing wrong with it , it's a show of love and effection.

 

[bzzymom]

DS is 11 and DD is 4. DS doesn't give kisses anymore, but he does give hugs occasionally, like if the grandparent is going, or just got back from a trip or something. He used to give "hugs and kisses" younger, which DD still does, but on his own, he decided when he wasn't comfortable with the kiss anymore.

 

[chrissiecutie]

Both DH and myself come from a family of lip kissers. While we've eventually both grown out of kissing our dad's, I still kiss my mom goodbye and he does the same with his. He even makes a kissing noise when he hangs up the phone after speaking with her! This use to gross me out a little, but once we had our son, I'm grateful DH feels confident enough to show his affection this much. He was taught to express his feelings and those early lessons have been carried on to our son.
Yes, our son gives lots of kisses, lips, face, cheek, wherever he can get to. He kisses granparents (he's very close to them all and sees them weekly), auntie (who lives w/us) and other auntie and or course mommy and daddy. We encourage PDA especially for our son, I think boys need that more then girls sometimes! We give him lots of hugs, kisses and I can't tell him enough just how much I love him! DH is the same way and is not at all worried with how others might percieve it. We do what feels right for our family. BTW, he probably has more germs on his hands then his mouth, so I don't worry about that at all (unless someone is sick!). He's growing up to be a very kind, loving and compassionate little boy.

 

[jrandtysmom]

I'm very surprised about all the people who don't kiss their children on the lips because of germs. OMG! They are your kids!

I understand that some people have a hang up about lip kissing but to say I won't kiss my children on the lips because I'm afraid they'll give me something. Sorry but...

I'm glad I never heard that statement from my mom, nor will my kids ever hear that from me.

I hear ya....I kiss my 2 DS's all the time (hugs too) because I grew up in a family that didn't and I swore I would be very affectionate with my kids. I think it helps them when they grow up to not feel weird about affection. Anyways, my mom never told us we couldn't kiss her but I do remember my mom telling us after we were probably 16 that we couldn't drink out of her cup anymore because she didn't know where our mouths had been. She was fine with it when we were younger but after we got old enough to kiss others (and definately old enough to ) she said we couldn't drink out of her cup, no matter how thirsty we were or if there is anything else around to drink. I don't let my kids drink out of my cup mostly due to the backwash thing , but I use the excuse that it's because mom is drinking soda and they know they aren't allowed to drink dark soda.