Parents Do not have to attend soccer games!!! UPDATE

[mjkacmom]

I agree with everything here. First, i cant believe some ppl drop their kids off at practice then leave to go run errands. Even at 12. And yes, i've seen parents come late to pick up their child. Thats awful. I wouldnt wanna be the coach sitting around with this kid waiting for the irresponsible parent to show up! I totally agree with this policy.

At 12, ds was walking to practices! Wow, just wow!

 

[Nancy]

Judging by your signature I assume you're a single parent with one child. What if you had two kids with activities at the same time?

It's much easier to stay for the entire practice when you only have one child.

yep, try it with 3 kids that need to be in 3 different places at the same time. There were many times when kids needed to be in different places at the same time. Even if DH was not working that still left 1 kid without a patent. Yeah, I'm a bad Mommy..my kids got dropped off and I'd come back and get them when practice was over.

If I had to be there for practices my kids would not be participating.

 

[debster812]

Are you saying that parents of a group of 'better' players would get together and say "hey, let's all sign up for Tuesday at 4:00"? in order to create an 'elite' team? At the rec level?

I just stepped down as Registrar for our Town Soccer program (rec and competitive travel), and you would be AMAZED at the machinations people would go through to try to get their 5, 6 & 7 year olds (to say nothing of older kids) on a specific coach's team. We finally had to put a moratorium on honoring ANY requests. There were u8 teams winning games by double digits. NOT fun for anyone.

That being said, I don't know why this association has decided that each player MUST have a parent at practice, but I can understand it. I've had coaches call me at home, because their practice ended 30-45 minutes ago, and they were unable to reach anyone to pick up a player, despite having ALL the parent's contact info. It's really a no win, because often, the kids DO do better without Mom or Dad there, but if someone is volunteering their time to coach, it's really unfair to expect them to stay long past the time practice is over because parents
can't pick up their children on time.

ETA--to address whether leagues are 'family friendly' or not. When there were extenuating circumstances, we would make a decision, as a board, that we felt was the most equitable. For example, my last season as registrar, at one of our registration nights, a mom asked if she could speak to me privately. She explained that she and her DD had just moved to town, and had just left her abusive husband. Her DD was really struggling, and did not want to play, unless she could be on a team with a girl she had met in her neighborhood, who she was getting very friendly with. In this case, obviously, we placed the child with her friend.

 

[Feckless]

Absolutely unreasonable, exclusionary rule. Our kids had soccer at overlapping times across town, either starting 5:30 or 6:30. Different fields. No way possible for us to do that and for a parent to be at each practice. We carpooled with another family with kids the same sex and age and arranged for our kids to be on the same team. We made it to as many practices/games as we could. Our kids were never unsupervised and never left there waiting (although I would have no worries about leaving DD for a practice or game, we just didn't do it). If it is an issue of being left waiting, then those cases should be dealt with individually, and not punish everyone. Again, U8 (especially boys!) I can understand having someone there in charge but there should be no reason to have it be someone from the household if the parents agree. Our kids went with the other family's nanny a couple of times as well.

It never ceases to amaze me how incredibly judgmental some of the people are who post here.

 

[Feckless]

Also, at 12 I was babysitting a 4 and 6 year old (and did a pretty darn good job of it too). I think a 12 year old should be more than able to attend a practice alone. The only exception would be if the 12 year old had some kind of special need.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Also, at 12 I was babysitting a 4 and 6 year old (and did a pretty darn good job of it too). I think a 12 year old should be more than able to attend a practice alone. The only exception would be if the 12 year old had some kind of special need.

U12 is for kids under 12...so except for kids just shy of the cut off, most would be newly 12 for only a portion of the year and thus wouldn't be covered under the policy listed in the OP. (For both leagues we have played, there is fall and spring and you are not stuck for the whole year if you age up in one season. You would bump up to the proper age division the next immediate season.)

As for your comment on judgemental--do you mean like the OP and others who have gone gangbusters crazy over the decision, but didn't research it or consider the perfectly VALID reasons for its implentation? Or is it only judgmental when folks don't see things your way?


(I do find the parents only restriction too restrictive, so this and most of my other comments are really about having An adult present as opposed to just the parents.)

 

[5lilfish]

U12 is for kids under 12...so except for kids just shy of the cut off, most would be newly 12 for only a portion of the year and thus wouldn't be covered under the policy listed in the OP. (For both leagues we have played, there is fall and spring and you are not stuck for the whole year if you age up in one season. You would bump up to the proper age division the next immediate season.)

As for your comment on judgemental--do you mean like the OP and others who have gone gangbusters crazy over the decision, but didn't research it or consider the perfectly VALID reasons for its implentation? Or is it only judgmental when folks don't see things your way?


(I do find the parents only restriction too restrictive, so this and most of my other comments are really about having An adult present as opposed to just the parents.)

Actually, my U12 DD will be 12 for the vast majority of the year and she is not close to the cut-off. She actually won't play a single outdoor game as an 11 yr old and she will only play a couple indoor games before she turns 12. My older DD was/is close to the soccer cut-off. She was 12 for the entire season that she played U12.

For softball, my DD will be 12 long before she ever plays a game, but she will be considered an 11 yr old for the entire season.

Around here, and I only say this because I am not sure if it is the same everywhere (not to be argumentative), you can take the Red Cross Babysitter's course when you are 11 yrs old....and you can definitely stay home alone at 11.

Jess

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Actually, my U12 DD will be 12 for the vast majority of the year and she is not close to the cut-off. She actually won't play a single outdoor game as an 11 yr old and she will only play a couple indoor games before she turns 12. My older DD was/is close to the soccer cut-off. She was 12 for the entire season that she played U12.

For softball, my DD will be 12 long before she ever plays a game, but she will be considered an 11 yr old for the entire season.

Around here, and I only say this because I am not sure if it is the same everywhere (not to be argumentative), you can take the Red Cross Babysitter's course when you are 11 yrs old....and you can definitely stay home alone at 11.

Jess

Weird. We have played in two different states. So perhaps it is different elsewere. Maybe I am just not remembering what we did originally and perhaps they are locked for the year. Geez...I just can't remember. The league we are in now does bump you in spring if you aged in the fall or winter.

Also it seems the U's--at least up to about 12 (unless there is a U11 that I have missed), that it isn't just 11 year olds, but 10 year olds as well and some bumped up 9 year olds. So if you were going to have a rule, it should be the same for all players since the groupings aren't set to 1 specific age. (I hope that what I am saying makes sense. )

 

[5lilfish]

Weird. We have played in two different states. So perhaps it is different elsewere. Maybe I am just not remembering what we did originally and perhaps they are locked for the year. Geez...I just can't remember. The league we are in now does bump you in spring if you aged in the fall or winter.

Also it seems the U's--at least up to about 12 (unless there is a U11 that I have missed), that it isn't just 11 year olds, but 10 year olds as well and some bumped up 9 year olds. So if you were going to have a rule, it should be the same for all players since the groupings aren't set to 1 specific age. (I hope that what I am saying makes sense. )

A do have to correct myself, a little anyway. My 11 yr old DD, the one that plays U12, did play the fall house season of U12 being 11. She plays travel and that is what I was refering to when I said she will not play a single outdoor game as a U12 before she turns 12. If she were not a travel player, and played winter and spring house soccer instead, she would stay U12 for the entire year. Kids do not move up mid-year.

For what it's worth, the cut-off for soccer here is July 31. My DD's b-day is in Feb.

Jess

 

[Coconut36]

Also, at 12 I was babysitting a 4 and 6 year old (and did a pretty darn good job of it too). I think a 12 year old should be more than able to attend a practice alone. The only exception would be if the 12 year old had some kind of special need.

Must be where many of you live but how are they getting to and from practice? Where I live it's not a simple bike ride or walk to where a rec league would play..it's quite a distance and it might be impossible for them to walk/ride there within a reasonable time period to make it to practice on time.

It also comes from parents suing and holding coaches and leagues liable for their children after practice has ended. If they want to do that then they need to be sure they are there with them and there to pick them up. Obviously not everyone does it but in these times there are many that do feel this way and they need to CYA for the coaches and the leagues because someone would be more than happy to sue if the coach left Johnny alone after practice/game and the kid was hurt or disappeared.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

That's stupid.

I'm glad my kids aren't in soccer. What a waste of time.

Personally, I can't fathom a situation where a child would be misbehaving at a sports practice to the point where a parent should be requiresd. You aren't babysitting my kids, you are coaching them. If they are being a distraction, then they would be off the team. Don't insist I have to sit and watch every practice.

Make a policy about misbehaving children or ones with parents who are constantly late get kicked from the team. Don't make all the parent suffer instead.

 

[cornflake]

Must be where many of you live but how are they getting to and from practice? Where I live it's not a simple bike ride or walk to where a rec league would play..it's quite a distance and it might be impossible for them to walk/ride there within a reasonable time period to make it to practice on time.

It also comes from parents suing and holding coaches and leagues liable for their children after practice has ended. If they want to do that then they need to be sure they are there with them and there to pick them up. Obviously not everyone does it but in these times there are many that do feel this way and they need to CYA for the coaches and the leagues because someone would be more than happy to sue if the coach left Johnny alone after practice/game and the kid was hurt or disappeared.

In my area, the kids would take the dang train or bus to practice and home just as if they were regular people.

 

[nuttylawprofessor]

A do have to correct myself, a little anyway. My 11 yr old DD, the one that plays U12, did play the fall house season of U12 being 11. She plays travel and that is what I was refering to when I said she will not play a single outdoor game as a U12 before she turns 12. If she were not a travel player, and played winter and spring house soccer instead, she would stay U12 for the entire year. Kids do not move up mid-year.

For what it's worth, the cut-off for soccer here is July 31. My DD's b-day is in Feb.

Jess

We have 4- & 5-year-olds on our U8 team. The "older" boys - 7s & 8s - are at practice without parents hanging around. The 4 & 5 have older brothers on the team and their dads are the coaches.

 

[Coconut36]

In my area, the kids would take the dang train or bus to practice and home just as if they were regular people.

Those modes of transport are ineffective or don't exist here. What would be a 15ish minute drive by car to the mall for example would be 3 or more HOURS by bus (and that is just one way)..just as an example of how it works here. We have a light rail..it's run is extremely limited and it would take me over 20 minutes by car to get to the closest station.

So I guess what I am getting at is in an area where kids can not get there without being driven or where riding a bike/bus would potentially take too long I can see issues on the league/coach side because if they kid has to wait for a parent for pick up..so does the coach. If it would take hours or be a long trip by bike/walking/bus I can see concerns/issues there too as they can't just walk away and honestly it might surprise people how often at least 1 or 2 kids in larger sports situations are left waiting a significant amount of time for a ride..sometimes there are repeat offenders but not always but regardless the coach is stuck waiting until everyone is picked up/gone and that can be an issue when there is a large group of kids and 1 or more waiting for a ride regularly.

 

[cornflake]

Those modes of transport are ineffective or don't exist here. What would be a 15ish minute drive by car to the mall for example would be 3 or more HOURS by bus (and that is just one way)..just as an example of how it works here. We have a light rail..it's run is extremely limited and it would take me over 20 minutes by car to get to the closest station.

So I guess what I am getting at is in an area where kids can not get there without being driven or where riding a bike/bus would potentially take too long I can see issues on the league/coach side because if they kid has to wait for a parent for pick up..so does the coach. If it would take hours or be a long trip by bike/walking/bus I can see concerns/issues there too as they can't just walk away and honestly it might surprise people how often at least 1 or 2 kids in larger sports situations are left waiting a significant amount of time for a ride..sometimes there are repeat offenders but not always but regardless the coach is stuck waiting until everyone is picked up/gone and that can be an issue when there is a large group of kids and 1 or more waiting for a ride regularly.

I know it's different other places - you asked how it was other places than yours. I get there are places where driving may be the only option (though I have to say I think there are a lot of places [not necessarily yours or anything, just in general] in which people say driving is the only option because it's just somewhat more inconvenient to do something else - not 15 mins. vs. 3 hours inconvenient, but like 'but my kid would have to walk a half mile to the bus stop!' inconvenient).

Though in those places, there can be carpooling and stuff which would apparently violate the OP's theoretical league's regulation.

 

[sam_gordon]

It also comes from parents suing and holding coaches and leagues liable for their children after practice has ended. If they want to do that then they need to be sure they are there with them and there to pick them up. Obviously not everyone does it but in these times there are many that do feel this way and they need to CYA for the coaches and the leagues because someone would be more than happy to sue if the coach left Johnny alone after practice/game and the kid was hurt or disappeared.

Actually we don't know that. It is one of the possible reasons suggested for this policy, but we don't know that it's a contributing factor.

 

[Mkrop]

I just stepped down as Registrar for our Town Soccer program (rec and competitive travel), and you would be AMAZED at the machinations people would go through to try to get their 5, 6 & 7 year olds (to say nothing of older kids) on a specific coach's team. We finally had to put a moratorium on honoring ANY requests. There were u8 teams winning games by double digits. NOT fun for anyone.

That being said, I don't know why this association has decided that each player MUST have a parent at practice, but I can understand it. I've had coaches call me at home, because their practice ended 30-45 minutes ago, and they were unable to reach anyone to pick up a player, despite having ALL the parent's contact info. It's really a no win, because often, the kids DO do better without Mom or Dad there, but if someone is volunteering their time to coach, it's really unfair to expect them to stay long past the time practice is over because parents
can't pick up their children on time.

ETA--to address whether leagues are 'family friendly' or not. When there were extenuating circumstances, we would make a decision, as a board, that we felt was the most equitable. For example, my last season as registrar, at one of our registration nights, a mom asked if she could speak to me privately. She explained that she and her DD had just moved to town, and had just left her abusive husband. Her DD was really struggling, and did not want to play, unless she could be on a team with a girl she had met in her neighborhood, who she was getting very friendly with. In this case, obviously, we placed the child with her friend.

Nope not surprised at all, I have seen so much craziness in youth sports.

That is sweet that you guys helped that girl out. Our soccer program allows one carpool request per app and each child must request the other to be honored. So if Jenny request Suzie, Suzie must request Jenny. And then the coach has to take both of them in the draft...like they are a package, kind of like siblings close in age are treated.

I dont envy your job trying to organize it all. But I still think you have a lateness policy if that is the true issue.

One of the basketball leagues does their best to put at least one child from the same school on the team but that still might now work.

 

[sam_gordon]

That's stupid.

I'm glad my kids aren't in soccer. What a waste of time.

Personally, I can't fathom a situation where a child would be misbehaving at a sports practice to the point where a parent should be requiresd. You aren't babysitting my kids, you are coaching them. If they are being a distraction, then they would be off the team. Don't insist I have to sit and watch every practice.

Make a policy about misbehaving children or ones with parents who are constantly late get kicked from the team. Don't make all the parent suffer instead.

1) The discussion is really about ANY sport/league that would have this policy.
2) Have you been active in young (4-9yo) child sports? The kids might not be misbehaving, but they might simply not want to listen to the coaches, not be paying attention, etc. I was helping coach DD's 10U rec softball game one year. We had 3-4 stations going where the girls were working on skills. One was hitting a ball off a tee. One girl walked right through the middle of the drill just as another girl swung... she got a line drive in the side of her head.
3) Around here, coaches don't have the power to kick kids off the team (again, talking rec). It doesn't matter if Johnny misses every practice, the rules still require the coach to play Johnny for 1/2 the game.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

1) The discussion is really about ANY sport/league that would have this policy.
2) Have you been active in young (4-9yo) child sports? The kids might not be misbehaving, but they might simply not want to listen to the coaches, not be paying attention, etc. I was helping coach DD's 10U rec softball game one year. We had 3-4 stations going where the girls were working on skills. One was hitting a ball off a tee. One girl walked right through the middle of the drill just as another girl swung... she got a line drive in the side of her head.
3) Around here, coaches don't have the power to kick kids off the team (again, talking rec). It doesn't matter if Johnny misses every practice, the rules still require the coach to play Johnny for 1/2 the game.

1) Er, OP was talking about "U12 soccer", and THAT is what I was responding to. Let me restate:
"I'm glad my kids aren't in a sport where I have to attend all the practices. What a waste of time."

2) I thought U12 soccer was for age 11, not 4 to 9.

My daughter active in dance between about 4 and 9 (and son between 4 and 6). It's not the same atmosphere as most sports, but I'd still call it a sport (group of kids practicing together with one teacher). Not only did I expect my child to behave, but also to listen. Parents were allowed to wait outside the dance studio, but we weren't allowed inside the studio to watch.

My son was in taekwondo from about 6 to 9 and again was expected to behave, listen, and pay attention, but there is no way the teacher would ever allow a parent to scold his or her kid during practice. My son was in football at 9. Again, he was expected to listen and behave. Parents could come to practices (which were 2 hours, 5 days a week), but weren't required.

If the problem isn't misbehaving but rather not listening, that's the coach's problem during practice, and my problem after practice. Going up to my child in the middle of practice to scold him or her for not paying attention or following directions undermines the authority of the coach. It would be like going to Kindergarten and doing the same thing in front of the teacher.

Although the more I think about it, of my three examples, the first two were paid professionals, so that changes things a bit, I guess.

Assuming, at this point, I had another child, and that child, at the age of 4, decided to join a sport, I would show up for at least the first few practices to make sure the coach wasn't a creeper and that my child got along with the other students, followed directions, etc., but I would most likely NOT attend every single practice, and would balk at signing up for any group that required so.

3) I don't know what the rules were in my son's football team, but if this is true, then policy should be changed to allow for children who are behavior problems to be removed.

 

[SmallWorld71]

While I have definately noticed that the baseball/football/basketball etc. leagues cost next to nothing I hadn't really thought about why that might be. It makes sense now that you've pointed out that they are run by volunteers. Thanx for clarifiying

I have two sons on a ski team, one who is a tennis nut, one who swims on a pre-team, a daughter who dances 10+ hours a week (never mind the art classes and piano classes and robotics workshops etc.)......... Costs us a bloody fortune but the ability to maintain some control over our lives is well worth it

You're welcome. We spend far more on DD's activities than her brothers' but only because of the nature of her activities. (DS16 does High School sports now and it's only the cost of his equipment) We totally think it's worth it as well. But, every now and then I do think that if she stopped dancing, we could take more WDW vacations....