Parenting trends you dislike?

[Cheburashka]

Hahaha here goes the “bonding” I mentioned earlier! This is absolute crap!! I’m very well bonded to my bottle fed kids, who are now 19 & 18 and very healthy, smart and successful. Everything that “promotes bonding” is a sham! They’re your kids, of course you’re going to bond! How you feed them has NOTHING to do with bonding. Stop spreading false info that puts undue pressure on parents to be “perfect” and do everything the “right way”. That pressure causes parenting problems!

I didn't say you can't bond using formula, just that breastfeeding is better for it. We're talking "better", not "the other is worthless".

Bonding aside, it's a non-negotiable scientific fact that breastmilk is much healthier for babies than formula.

 

[tcufrog]

I agree with her that Breast is Best. However, those messages need to be modified so that those who can't breast feed for various reasons aren't shamed or meant to feel guilty. My wife tried and tried but it never worked. She just pumped instead and fed from a bottle. Unfortunately, she still felt a bit guilty about it.

It makes me angry when parents are made to feel guilty for not breastfeeding. It's hard enough to be a new parent without other people telling you you're a bad parent for ______________.

 

[goofyernmost]

Breast is best. Sorry if the truth hurts but it's a scientific fact.

If it works out it is fine. I also think it is closer to a scientific theory then fact. Here's the big difference do you know what happened to babies before formula? I'll tell you a lot of them died from malnutrition. The society we humans built is the big difference in need. I think most women might feel that "the breast is best" but it is quite self involved to not realize that not everyone can either physically or economically nurse. For those that can, great. Our first born was fed with formula. My mother said that I was too. Our second was breast fed. All of us turned out to be achievers and healthy. So there is not always a difference one way or the other. So change that to preferable when it comes to convenience and natural but it isn't a solid indication of anything other then that.

 

[MillauFr]

People not raising their own children, and then telling everyone how great their daycare is. Adjust your work schedules so a parent or relative raises your kids. It's not all about you or your career. OLD SCHOOL

There is no way that vast majority of residents can afford a house in Seattle on just one income even it is low 6 figures. You can either raise a family in a small apartment in the city or move some distant suburb that is cheaper. Neither is a great option.

 

[tcufrog]

I didn't say you can't bond using formula, just that breastfeeding is better for it. We're talking "better", not "the other is worthless".

Bonding aside, it's a non-negotiable scientific fact that breastmilk is much healthier for babies than formula.

So, basically, dads are screwed when it comes to bonding because they don't lactate. My older son did try to latch onto his dad once. It was hilarious.

 

[Cheburashka]

It makes me angry when parents are made to feel guilty for not breastfeeding. It's hard enough to be a new parent without other people telling you you're a bad parent for ______________.

People feeling guilty is something they can control. If you can't breastfeed for whatever reason, there is nothing to feel guilty about. It is what it is. But "breast is best" is an accurate medical message that helps babies get the best nutrition and immunity that will help them throughout their lives. It shouldn't be unspoken just because some people have low self-esteem.

 

[slo]

The Elf on the Shelf.

I’m so glad this became popular after my girls were little and then to old for it.

 

[PollyannaMom]

FInally, everyone chill unless they want the thread locked.

I agree - even if something is "best" that doesn't mean there is huge, insurmountable difference between it and 2nd best, or 3rd best...

 

[goofyernmost]

Maybe that store considered chocolate & candy baskets to be gifts? I've never heard of an "Easter present".

No, there were all kinds of gift items beyond the candy aspect. stuffed animals, games, clothing, toys and so on over and above normal inventories. When I was a kid, candy was it.

 

[goofyernmost]

People feeling guilty is something they can control. If you can't breastfeed for whatever reason, there is nothing to feel guilty about. It is what it is. But "breast is best" is an accurate medical message that helps babies get the best nutrition and immunity that will help them throughout their lives. It shouldn't be unspoken just because some people have low self-esteem.

Yes, but making that statement does indeed cause women to feel guilty even when it is impossible or not the best option. Breast feeding should always be an option, but only discussed with their physician as to what would be best for both the child and the mother or even the family. It is not the best for everyone. That is what might be best for you but there are to many other factors to consider all of which are important to a happy, healthy life.

 

[Cheburashka]

Yes, but making that statement does indeed cause women to feel guilty even when they it is impossible or not the best option. Breast feeding should always be an option, but only discussed with their physician as to what would be best for both the child and the mother or even the family. Breast feeding is a great option, but not the best for everyone.

Breastfeeding and formula are not equal options, and most mothers can breastfeed. That's what I mean about "fed is best" being harmful. It's discouraging breastfeeding because it tells mothers that the options are an equal choice, when medically they are far from equal. That isn't in the best interest of the child's health.

 

[goofyernmost]

Breastfeeding and formula are not equal options, and most mothers can breastfeed. That's what I mean about "fed is best" being harmful. It's discouraging breastfeeding because it tells mothers that the options are an equal choice, when medically they are far from equal. That isn't in the best interest of the child's health.

As I just said, happiness and healthy consist of more then just diet.

 

[MillauFr]

It shouldn't be unspoken just because some people have low self-esteem.

Agreed. The message needs to be carefully worded though.

 

[DisneyJamieCA]

Breast is best. Sorry if the truth hurts but it's a scientific fact. The "fed is best" movement is harmful because it encourages mothers to think of breastmilk and formula as equal and therefore choose based on convenience, when medically, they are far from equal.

No, what’s harmful are statements like this. So much more I’d like to say, but I’ll just leave it at this.

 

[slo]

It makes me angry when parents are made to feel guilty for not breastfeeding. It's hard enough to be a new parent without other people telling you you're a bad parent for ______________.

I couldn’t agree more

I tried breastfeeding DD23 and it wasn’t for us. She struggled latching on and I hated pumping. I stopped at 3 months. Her and I were both happier when she started having formula in a bottle.

When I became pregnant with DD18 I immediately made my decision to not breastfeed. When I went into the hospital to deliver the first thing I told the nurse is that I’m not breastfeeding and to please respect that and not send people to my room to discuss it. They did respect that and I was grateful.

Both my girls are healthy and happy - I have no regrets about my decision. When my DD23 had her baby she tried breastfeeding and she was miserable. I told her to stop so she can enjoy feeding time with her son and not dread it. She did that and was happier.

I tell expecting moms I know to NEVER let others make the decision for them in regards to how they feed their baby. If breast is best for them - then outstanding. If bottle is best for them - then outstanding. I was a bottle baby and I’m not a weak and sickly person. Everyone needs to stop judging parents on matters like this. If the baby is happy, healthy, and taken care of then that’s what matters.

 

[Cheburashka]

As I just said, happiness and healthy consist of more then just diet.

Yes, there is more to parenting than breastfeeding, absolutely. As I said before, I (and the doctors and medical experts such as the World Health Organization, American Medical Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, etc. who promote breastfeeding) never said that formula feeding is like giving junk food, just that it is not the equal of breastfeeding. "Breast is best" means breast is #1 and formula is #2, not that formula is worthless. They're both feeding a baby and if breast doesn't work for whatever reason, there's nothing to feel guilty about. But it's inaccurate and a poor health message to suggest that they are equal, when one is definitively better for the developing child's health.

 

[piccolopat]

I was an adult in my early 20's and married before I realized that people gave gifts other then candy on Easter. It came as a total surprise to me since my family never did that at all.

The only thing we got other than a chocolate bunny was Silly Putty.

 

[Cheburashka]

The only thing we got other than a chocolate bunny was Silly Putty.

Now that does bring back the memories. Haven't seen that in years.

 

[luvsvacation]

Breastfeeding and formula are not equal options, and most mothers can breastfeed. That's what I mean about "fed is best" being harmful. It's discouraging breastfeeding because it tells mothers that the options are an equal choice, when medically they are far from equal. That isn't in the best interest of the child's health.

They are pretty darn close to being “medically equal” so close that even if there is a slight difference it doesn’t matter in any real way. As I said apples to oranges, not apples to chocolate bars. And why the focus on having to do the absolute best thing anyway?!! When your kid is 2 are you going to make sure everyday they are eating the absolute best choice at every meal and snack? Does it really matter?? Why this preoccupation with making sure your kid eats the absolute best their first 6-12 months when by 3 they’re probably going to be eating chicken nuggets. It’s only so people like you can feel smug and superior! I have never felt the least bit of guilt over not breastfeeding (and no I didn’t have any reason my I couldn’t) I didn’t need a reason to justify my CHOICE. I have felt nothing but proud of my choice. Unfortunately there are a lot of moms who are unsure of themselves and the crap you are spewing makes them feel guilty and question themselves as evidenced by how many feel they need a valid reason not to breastfeed. You don’t need a reason not to breastfeed! Your kids will be perfectly fine being formula fed!

 

[Cheburashka]

They are pretty darn close to being “medically equal” so close that even if there is a slight difference it doesn’t matter in any real way.

No they aren't. Sorry but you are basing that statement on emotion rather than scientific fact. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months because it is definitively better for babies, not just a smidgen better for babies.