'Parenting 101'

[Kelsie]

As a parent, I know we face difficult and challenging situations every day. We thought we would start a thread dedicated to discussing the ups and downs of Parenting .

This can be a place where we can come to share, compare, seek advise or just vent. A place to brag about your little darlings or advertise for new homes for them . To show pictures and awwwwwww over them or just to escape for a few minutes from the pressures of the day.

So, please join us

 

[RitaZ.]

Great idea, Kelsie!

 

[Kelsie]

OK, my first request for advice

How do you get your child to keep their room cleaned?? I have tried and tried.

What have you tried that has worked?

 

[CathyCanada]

I shut the door so I don't have to look at it!!
CC

 

[Kelsie]

LOL Cath! I have tried, it drives me nuts. My Mom thinks it is sooooo funny! It seems she has this incorrect memory of my room being much the same

 

[CathyCanada]

Moms!! They have such funny memories, don't they?
CC

 

[John In Illinois]

Kelsie,

I threatened my son with the horrifying image that I would simply throw any offending mess away forever!!!

This was looked at as a hollow threat, until one day he came home from school, thanked me for "cleaning up" his room for him.......and suddenly reality struck him in his noggin.......and he wailed "What did you do with all my stuff"!!!!????!!!!! lol

I told him that he would find it at the end of the driveway in the can.......he did....and from then on.....I merely had to ask him if he needs "help" cleaning his room

 

[kidzmom3]

When I was a teenager I came home to find my father throwing all my stuff out my bedroom window and onto the lawn below. Everything, even breakable stuff. Lets say he was a little peeved about the messy room, he asked nicely several times and threatend once. Well, he backed up that threat, and the room was never that messy again. I would like to say it was neat from that day on, but it would be a lie. But it was cluttered, not really a dump like before.

 

[Kelsie]

LOL John, I don't think they make trash cans that big But it's an interesting idea


Oh my, out the window?? Truth be known, my Mom use to pile everything on top of my bed and I mean EVERTHING (including pictures off the wall, posters, things from inside my dresser, closet, etc.), They she would say, Want to go to bed?? Clean it off <--and her smile looked just like that come to think of it!

 

[Beanie]

LOL Kelsie!! I think we had the same mother...although mine didn't take things off the wall...she only put the stuff that was on the floor on my bed!! Thankfully, right now, my children are really good about picking up their toys...I am sure it is going to get harder though...

 

[cmbelle]

My son, the social butterfly, likes to have friends sleep over constantly. He has now been told that no one can spend the night until his bedroom is clean. Monetary bribery hasn't worked and throwing away excess clutter hasn't worked, so I hope this will.

 

[Carole]

Kelsie,

I agree with WebmasterCathyCanada just shut the door.

I always try to remember to "pick my battles" with the kids (15 and 18). For example, would I rather argue over a clean room or getting their homework done. There are many little things that are far from perfect with my kids but in the overall scheme of things - they are pretty good!!

Carole

 

[Kelsie]

The "No Friends over" until your room is cleaned does work some of the time.

It's really not a battle I fight often and maybe that is the issue. I usually clean it

I have another issue:

Do your children have one 'best' friend or just a lot of different friends?

My DD seems to have a lot of different friends and the other day, she had about 4 of them call to see if she could come over. After listening to the calls (only her side) I gathered it was a little game to see who would win and get Sarah. She was torn so I had to step in.

What would you do in a situation like this?

 

[Horizons16]

HA HA HA

Keep a kids room clean. My parents gave up on that one. lol
~Steve

 

[cmbelle]

My son, who usually wants a friends over every week-end, hasn't asked for any sleep-over guests all summer. I guess he's willing to forego friends so he doesn't have to clean his room. Hmmm...I may have to rethink this in a few more weeks.

 

[JAP]

KELSIE: My DD has several different friends and it seems that every now and again they want to leave someone out on purpose. These girls are only 5 to 5 1/2 years old. It worries me at this age. I try to talk to some of the other mommies but somehow get the impression that the others are not seeing what I see and say "let them work it out" or "get used to it".

Well I do not think this is the way to promote good friendships at an early age. In reality I guess they will compete for certain friendships but we as the adults should try and dissuade them from doing so.

Someone always feels left out or hurt and that is where the jealousy will start. I do not think any good ever comes from being jealous. It has been my experience that the hurt/jealous one will do some lashing out.

I guess what I am trying to get across is that good parent interaction is as important as the children playing with eachother.

I hope all of this made sense. Some days it is hard to get across in writing my feelings about this issue.

 

[ZPT1022]

About the cleaning of the rooms:

My best friend's mother used to go around and write messages in all the dusty spots in her room such as "dust me", "jackie's a slob". That usually got things dusted pretty quick

My own mother has standards of cleanliness that not many can live up to. My friends used to come over and be amazed at how clean I kept my room all the while my mother was complaining about how dirty it was. I frequently came home from school to find notes taped to the door stating things like "CONDEMNED BY HEALTH DEPT." and "DISASTER AREA, RELIEF NEEDED" with one of those big black trash bags taped under it. That was the sign to clean even more, or else everything she thought was out of place wound up in the trash bag. She learned the trash bag thing from her brother Neil, who knows I think all the aunts and uncles in that family used it.

 

[MerryPoppins]

My kids earn time playing video games when they do chores. Their rooms aren't spotless by any stretch of the imagination, but when they run out of earned "time" they complain less about cleaning. It keeps their rooms clean enough that we aren't at each other's throats.