Panhandling - What Do You Think?

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There are some who are organized and fairly easy to spot. Others…I regularly see around are truly homeless. Most often they are mentally and/or have addiction issues. Yes, I will sometimes give them a few dollars or buy them food.
 
One a local charity facebook page a woman posted that she was in a homeless shelter (they house groups in regular houses here) and asking if anyone had any kotex or tampons to spare. Found out they don't provide those and thought how horrible that must be!
This is a very timely comment.

This is from our local news but touches on the issues at large to access to period products. It's not directly solely at homelessness but rather the concept of period poverty.

People who even live in residences struggle to pay for these products, those who experience homelessness likely even more long-term deal with this.

The founder of No Shame as it is mentioned in the article discovered the need while "volunteering with those experiencing homelessness and admits she didn’t think about the need until she saw someone else mention it online." Yeah I had no idea to even think of that either :o
The article also talks about food stamps (part of the programs people think of to help those in need) and said "It’s easy to get food on food stamps but we can’t get hygiene products. It means a lot. We get more people, more families that come in to grab hygiene than food now." WIC and SNAP the programs themselves do not allow for the purchase of these items.


https://www.kshb.com/news/local-news/no-shame-works-to-fill-need-with-no-stigma-in-kansas-city
 
Wow I can see I certainly ruffled a few feathers. I only stated what I felt when I saw this young woman who appeared to be in good health and was well dressed, not someone who appeared to be homeless or in need of money, (yes, I know you can’t judge a book by its cover). There are plenty of homeless people wandering the streets in the area, you can definitely determine who they are by their appearance, and I never see those people begging on street corners. The other ironic thing is that while this young woman was standing there begging for money there was a “help wanted” sign very close by for the Wawa which was located on the corner where she was begging.

I guess hypocrisy knows no bounds, so many of you here are ready to do to me and other posters what you say you find so offensive and objectionable about this thread and what I said. If it wasn’t so laughable it would be sad. I observed behavior that I found objectionable by someone who appeared to be a healthy young woman. I stated my observations and feelings in this thread and now many of you are ready to condemn me for my comments. I do believe I read in the comments not to judge…I think I did read that but yet you are judging me and others. I also think there is no reason or excuse for people to attack others who don’t see things their way. Hypocrisy at its best?

Remember when you’re pointing your judgmental finger at me and others there are three fingers pointing back at you. It is fine if you want to judge me, you can judge away but I still think this woman would be much better off if she got a job. If I had had the time and the supplies to make a sign, I would have written it down so there would be no question that she got the message.

I don’t get why people think it’s ok to ask other people, people they don’t even know for anything? Yes, young woman, get a job, maybe once you are working hard for those dollars you will understand why I found your behavior wrong and objectionable.

I also have to say for those who are judging me and others so harshly, you don’t know me, you have no idea what I have done or haven’t done, what challenges I or my family have had to face in our lifetime and why I might feel the way I do. I too have no idea why this woman was begging for money, what her circumstances are but I still don't think its ok to ask others for money and try to pull on their heart strings. Remember that, when you too are passing judgment on me and other posters. The young woman I wrote about can do whatever she wants but I personally don’t agree with her behavior. IMHO it was demeaning to her as a person, and a potentially constructive and prosperous member of society.
 
I live in a rural area and we don't have many there (I think I've seen one or two in the last 5 years), but I work in a city and see them all over the place. I support our state's food bank (covers the entire state) and programs run in the city to help the homeless, but won't give any money directly to the people.
 

Not much changes over the years does it. Ebenezer Scrooge said..."Are there no poor houses anymore". Same stuff, different century. It's that attitude that makes this country the stink hole that it has become. I saw a meme the other day that said something to the effect. (See below) I'm not religious but, I wonder for those that are religious what exactly do you think will happen to you when you die. From what I know of religion, it won't be pleasant.

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So can we expect a list of all the charities you give to and the amounts?
How about a list of all the panhandlers you have given too, and how much?
What about how much time you volunteer at homeless shelters or food banks?
Any other charitable contributions in money and time you'd like to list?


There are plenty of ways religious, and non religious people give back and help the needy.
But you go ahead and keep judging them for not giving money to panhandlers, it's so very righteous of you.
 
Good friend of mine started doing a hamper most weeks. She collects money or canned goods from anyone that wants to contributes and finds a family that is in need via local Facebook freecycle groups and drops it off. She does it as a project with her teenage son.
I send her $10 via etransfer couple times a month.
It's a nice idea and she has a big heart but sometimes I think I would rather give to a charity food bank so I get a tax receipt for my donation.
 
Not much changes over the years does it. Ebenezer Scrooge said..."Are there no poor houses anymore". Same stuff, different century. It's that attitude that makes this country the stink hole that it has become. I saw a meme the other day that said something to the effect. (See below) I'm not religious but, I wonder for those that are religious what exactly do you think will happen to you when you die. From what I know of religion, it won't be pleasant.

View attachment 656550
Funny but a relative of mine posted this meme the other day. And she hates a whole bunch of people. Some religious. Some not. For the record I am not religious. But hate is hate.
 
Wow I can see I certainly ruffled a few feathers. I only stated what I felt when I saw this young woman who appeared to be in good health and was well dressed, not someone who appeared to be homeless or in need of money, (yes, I know you can’t judge a book by its cover). There are plenty of homeless people wandering the streets in the area, you can definitely determine who they are by their appearance, and I never see those people begging on street corners. The other ironic thing is that while this young woman was standing there begging for money there was a “help wanted” sign very close by for the Wawa which was located on the corner where she was begging.

I'm guessing you've never been homeless trying to get a job, or assisted someone homeless with trying to get a job. What address would you suggest she list on the job application? What phone number should she give them to contact her? I'm pretty sure Wawa has basic hygiene standards for their employees, can she come to your house and use your shower every day? I think Wawa gives employees uniform shirts (or does payroll deductions for them maybe?), but how should she go about paying for the required pants and shoes? Of course, you saw her panhandling and jumped to a million conclusions--how do you know she hadn't applied at the Wawa already, and maybe gotten the job, and was trying to raise the money to go buy pants and shoes and rent a hotel room for the first week so she would able to shower each day before work? Or maybe she's done the song and dance before, and KNOWS that Wawa is more likely to throw her out than give her a job, and she's trying to raise enough money to rent said hotel room for a few days BEFORE she applies so that she can show up clean and healthy-looking, and list an address and phone number on the application.

Maybe try watching Maid or The Florida Project. It is so insanely hard for people with nothing to get out of that situation, no matter how hard they try.

ETA: Just a minor example of how people perceived to be homeless are treated by the average business. A few years back I was living above a coffee shop with my dad and my boyfriend at the time. Dad took the trash out one evening, wearing flip flops and no shirt. He propped the gate open as he had every other time he took out the trash (it just goes on the curb, a few inches from the gate). But you guessed it, this time the gate swung closed behind him. No shirt, no cell phone, no money, no ID. And the one glaring omission in that apartment building? Doorbells. Dad asked to use the phone in the coffee shop, they threw him out. He explained that he lived upstairs and had locked himself out, and that I was home and needed to come down and let him in. He had breakfast in that coffee shop several times a week, but the guy working that night didn't know him. Dude told him to get off the property or he'd call the police. I'm pretty sure that he saw long hair and a beard, flip flops, jeans, and no shirt, and assumed Dad was a crazy homeless guy. So Dad stood on the corner, away from the coffee shop, until I realized he'd been gone a long time and went down to check on him. If that's how businesses treat people they assume are homeless, I don't think they're real inclined to hire actual homeless people.

ETA Again: You can definitely tell who they are by their appearance???? That is the most judgmental and fundamentally WRONG thing I've heard in this entire thread. Google Mad Mike the Hippie Bum. One of our local characters, who USED to be homeless (by choice). When his mom passed, he inherited millions plus her huge estate Uptown. He's definitely not homeless these days, but his entire successful music career is built on a homeless persona. Likewise, some of the street kids I ran around with in Orlando years ago had a wonderful sense of style and were experts at putting together VERY polished looks from the thrift stores. Don't judge a book by its cover.
 
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The other day DH and I were leaving the local shopping center parking lot after doing our grocery shopping. On the curb at the end of the entrance/exit to the shopping center there was a young woman holding a sign begging for money saying she was a mother of two children and couldn’t work.

I found this to be very offensive for this young woman to be begging on the street for money. She was wearing a very nice coat and looked perfectly healthy, had no children with her so she must have had childcare. My thought was that if she was able to be out on the street begging wouldn’t she be better served getting a job? There are help wanted signs all over the place and the pay scale today is much better than it was in years gone by. I just can’t believe the gall of this person to expect people to just handover money to her for no good reason.

On our way past her I mouthed the words “get a job”. I hope she understood what I was saying and hope no one gave her any money.
Just ignore panhandlers. You never know- she might actually be one of the small percent of them who actually is in dire straits and not due to being some kind of addict. Maintain your own decency. It's logical and understandable to not want to give them money, but being rude doesn't help and might hurt a person who is genuinely suffering.

There are greedy, lazy, dishonest people from all walks of life in all stations of life, high and low. You wouldn't go up to a stranger you suspected of being a white collar embezzler and be nasty to them, or be rude to a stranger who seems to be a lazy, entitled socialite who has never had to work a day in their life. By the same token, leave alone and give the benefit of the doubt to panhandlers you see on the street. The fact that they aren't behaving to our standards doesn't mean they should therefore be verbally abused.
 
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The attitude that people should be using the multitude of welfare programs offered in this country (instead of approaching strangers to beg for money) is what "makes this country the stink hole that it has become"?

We obviously disagree on this, but I did want to know why you think our country is a "stink hole"?

I don't agree with the choice of words the previous poster used to describe the problem, but there is widespread ignorance among those who have never needed assistance about what sort of programs are available and what they really provide. Simply put, most people who have had no contact with the welfare system think it is much more comprehensive than it is. Housing is an excellent example - in my county, the waiting list for housing assistance is open for two weeks of every year, priority is given to seniors and those with young children, and the wait list averages two years for priority recipients. But in conversations about homelessness or begging, one of the most common responses is to suggest that the truly needy can get the help they need from that program. And I do think that is why more isn't done to solve some of our social issues, because of the fairly common assumption that the solutions are already in place and those still suffering simply refuse to seek them out or meet whatever conditions they impose.
 
I don’t get why people think it’s ok to ask other people, people they don’t even know for anything? Yes, young woman, get a job, maybe once you are working hard for those dollars you will understand why I found your behavior wrong and objectionable.
I haven't read the rest of the thread so I don't know how others have attacked you, but I'm not attacking you and just want to respond to your query.

My response is that, I agree, it isn't right to ask random strangers for help unless you're in truly dire straits (very hungry, in danger, etc.) By the same token, ask yourself why you think it's okay to make rude comments to a stranger. Like her or not, approve of her or not, that panhandler is a person. Every person deserves to be treated with a baseline of respect, in the sense of not being insulted or abused. That basic respect is different from admiration, which you certainly don't need to feel for someone who prefers to beg than to work.

That said, as a reminder, you don't know this person. I don't either, and I agree that it's certainly possible that she might be a lazy ne'er do well, an addict, etc. It's also possible that she is mentally ill and can't maintain a job for that reason. It's also possible the reason she didn't go for that job you mentioned is that she can't afford childcare. It's also possible that she just doesn't have basic skills for whatever reason, and has tried to get jobs but failed.

The bottom line is that she's a stranger, so you just can't know. That's why the best course is to not be confrontational or rude, and just ignore a stranger who you suspect ill of and disapprove of.
 
One a local charity facebook page a woman posted that she was in a homeless shelter (they house groups in regular houses here) and asking if anyone had any kotex or tampons to spare. Found out they don't provide those and thought how horrible that must be! So I posted on my facebook asking if anyone wanted to help me out helping this shelter- by the end of the day I had a car full of things from kotex- shampoo, deodorant and things and my venmo blew up and I had almost 1,000.00. I contacted the social worker in charge of that one house and she gave me a list of things they could use-Spent most of it in the food store getting things like meat, dairy and things that they don't get at the food bank and some sweatshirts people there needed. I have since found out that the woman who posted that has now gotten a job and they are going to be moving into a place of their own.

My DD18 had to do a charity drive for her Honors College, and her group chose to raise money for feminine hygiene products. They baked cupcakes, cookies, and made Rice Krispie Treats--they raised over $1000. They were also able to donate leftover baking items--God bless her, my DD is a terrible estimator, so while they had to buy more chocolate chips and Rice Krispies, they had literally 20 dozen eggs and 50 pounds of butter left over. Plus, they donated the unsold baked goods. The shelter was most excited by the eggs--easy protein, and not a lot of chewing required. They could only take unopened stuff at the shelter, so I now own enough baking soda to last me a lifetime.

Anyway, back to the usual sniping, bickering, and holier-than-thou-ing.
 
Wow I can see I certainly ruffled a few feathers. I only stated what I felt when I saw this young woman who appeared to be in good health and was well dressed, not someone who appeared to be homeless or in need of money, (yes, I know you can’t judge a book by its cover). There are plenty of homeless people wandering the streets in the area, you can definitely determine who they are by their appearance, and I never see those people begging on street corners. The other ironic thing is that while this young woman was standing there begging for money there was a “help wanted” sign very close by for the Wawa which was located on the corner where she was begging.

I guess hypocrisy knows no bounds, so many of you here are ready to do to me and other posters what you say you find so offensive and objectionable about this thread and what I said. If it wasn’t so laughable it would be sad. I observed behavior that I found objectionable by someone who appeared to be a healthy young woman. I stated my observations and feelings in this thread and now many of you are ready to condemn me for my comments. I do believe I read in the comments not to judge…I think I did read that but yet you are judging me and others. I also think there is no reason or excuse for people to attack others who don’t see things their way. Hypocrisy at its best?

Remember when you’re pointing your judgmental finger at me and others there are three fingers pointing back at you. It is fine if you want to judge me, you can judge away but I still think this woman would be much better off if she got a job. If I had had the time and the supplies to make a sign, I would have written it down so there would be no question that she got the message.

I don’t get why people think it’s ok to ask other people, people they don’t even know for anything? Yes, young woman, get a job, maybe once you are working hard for those dollars you will understand why I found your behavior wrong and objectionable.

I also have to say for those who are judging me and others so harshly, you don’t know me, you have no idea what I have done or haven’t done, what challenges I or my family have had to face in our lifetime and why I might feel the way I do. I too have no idea why this woman was begging for money, what her circumstances are but I still don't think its ok to ask others for money and try to pull on their heart strings. Remember that, when you too are passing judgment on me and other posters. The young woman I wrote about can do whatever she wants but I personally don’t agree with her behavior. IMHO it was demeaning to her as a person, and a potentially constructive and prosperous member of society.
This reads like a hefty amount of projection under a thick layer of persecution complex. Something about this woman has really triggered you beyond what a normal reaction to seeing panhandling would be. You may want to do some soul searching to figure out what’s really upsetting you.
 
Remember when you’re pointing your judgmental finger at me and others there are three fingers pointing back at you. It is fine if you want to judge me, you can judge away but I still think this woman would be much better off if she got a job. If I had had the time and the supplies to make a sign, I would have written it down so there would be no question that she got the message.


I also have to say for those who are judging me and others so harshly, you don’t know me, you have no idea what I have done or haven’t done, what challenges I or my family have had to face in our lifetime and why I might feel the way I do.
You realize you started a thread to judge someone you don't know, right (and asked for people's opinions about what you did)? And now it's elementary-school retorts about being judged? Do you not recognize that telling someone to get a job because you know what's best for them without asking is acting "holier-than-thou"? So, it's only okay for you (or people who agree with you) to be judgmental and post about it and that should be sacrosanct and all others should stay quiet (even as you asked, "What do you think?")? And you see no irony in saying, "You don't know me or what I've been through" (to justify a post on the internet which in no way might help you feed your family or stay safe, which is what the woman you posted about could be doing). If I didn't know better, I'd say this was a first-rate gold-medal trolling but I suspect you mean what you wrote, which is telling in and of itself.
 
I also think there is no reason or excuse for people to attack others who don’t see things their way. Hypocrisy at its best?

I agree with you, "there is no reason or excuse for people to attack others who don't see things their way".

And this is exactly why I feel that you were WAY out of line to drive by and mouth to the lady, "get a job"!!

If you don't think that people should attack others, you should follow your own advice and keep your mouth shut. The lady didn't approach you. She didn't ask for your opinion. Just because you don't see "things" her way, you had no business saying anything. Period.

Give to people on the street or not. Give to charities or not. Share your opinion on the matter if you feel the need. But follow your own advice and don't "attack" (drive by and mouth your opinion to the lady!) people on the street.
 
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