It's been a few days now since my last eye shot, but what kills me now is that my eye "health" is now my resposibility.
They have eliminated the antibiotic drops, I guess people were building tolerances to them, so now it's, "Just let us know if infection sets in."
Really, and how will I know that? Does infection ring the doorbell? Will I see moving trucks pull up?
It's a semi red, bloody mess after the shot, anyway, but ok, whatever you say, I'll keep an eye out for infection.
Wait, how do I see infection behind the eye? Dunno.
So, now a couple times a day I try to do the,,, ahem,,,
"Injection, infection, detection inspection!
ba-dum-bum
______________________________________________
Short chapter.
Imagine, telling me, my chapter was short, like you're not getting what you paid for!
Ha, I'll give you a short chapter, welcome to Nebo Tolstoy's War and Pieces, and I don't mean Reese's.
short chapter, indeed
Diane brought up something today when she got home from work,,, would't you think that after all these trips, and
all these trip reports that I would keep just a simple, basic diary, that each night I would just put in the highlights, like where we ate, problems, strange people,, but no, too dumb for that I guess. Which is why it's not uncommon for me to run downstairs with the burning question,,,
"DIANE, did we get the beer from Dawa Bar or Pizzafari?
Our meal at Flame Tree wasn't as special as it used to be, but I still enjoyed it munchly.
We always both get the BBQ rib platter, but they keep messin' with it.
I think it used to come with ribs, fries, corn on the cob.
Then it was ribs, beans, corn on the cob.
This turned into ribs, beans, corn fritter thingy, then,
ribs, beans, cole slaw, which I think is what we ended up with today. Maybe there was a corn muffin too, I really don't remember. But one thing we usually end up splitting is an order of onion rings, they are very good here, just like at Prime Time.
The challenge then is to find a cool place to eat,,, and oh man,,, the possible choices will blow your mind.
Behind Flame Tree, are these trails that lead down to gazebos on the river, or in the woods, or by decorative pools. Some can be quite a walk.
We like to sit by these tables right next to a man made pool, with little fountains, waterfalls and plenty of birds and critters everywhere. Next to us are covered tables and picnic type benches under the gazebo, which is also where the condiments are now, if I remember correctly.Come to
think of it, they used to have all the condiments right next to the stand, but they told us they are now down in the gazebos along the trails.
Well, there's a lot of gazebos along the trails to eat in,
made me wonder if they went and equipped every one with sustainable condiments.
As Smidgy went to get our condim ents, I took our tray over to a table right next to the pond/pool, that was nice and shaded, when a cast member approached me.
"You don't want to sit there!"
That was all he said, not commanding or demanding, more ominous than anything.
I waited for his next line, which didn't come, he just looked at me.
I looked back at him, still waiting for Igor to say the next line, or at least start munching on the squirrel that was scooting around our feet, but no, nothing.
That was it, all he said, and sounded kind of threatenly.
Theateningly. Threating.
Mean!
Well, I was the one to crack:
My first words out without really thinking were,
"No, of course not, wouldn't dream of it, I was just stopping to catch my breath,,,,,, um, why don't I want to sit here?"
He responded, " I have cleaned this table off 3 times already this morning, yet nobody has sat here."
Ah, cool, we are going to talk in cryptic messages now,
and I wanted to respond with something like, "For the world is hollow, yet I have touched the sky", but instead i thought a moment more about what he said.
Now, this sounded like a riddle from the Hobbit, and I almost said, "What has it got in it's pockets?", but I thought about it a moment longer,,,again,,, and looked up.
Sure enough, right above the table was a nice big old branch that was providing the nice shade, and 3 big old birds were already jockeying for position on this big old branch, ready to release their ordnance. I admit, when it comes to birds I'm pretty dumb at naming the species, but I do know that any bird can drop it's Fat Man or Little Boy on you.
I glanced at the cast member, he nodded, and walked away.
Two tables over though it was still shady enough, and without the Swords of,,Turds of Damocles hanging over our heads.
Yes, I'll stick to the BBQ sauce, thank you very much, I don't need your special sauce. And I don't want to hear the word, "Incoming" as I'm eating!
Our lunch was good, I like the ribs here much better than at Cosmic Ray's even though they are supposed to be the same thing, but it wasn't as good as it used to be.
Anytime cole slaw replaces anything else, it's a step down.
But the bird wildlife here is amazing, these things are now fearless of humans. Really, they think they ARE humans i believe!
If you let them, they will land on the edge of your table, bow their heads and fold their claws and say grace, then look up and say "Allright, pass the stuffing, and save the neck for me, Clark!"
I hate when they call me Clark.
And don't get me started on the squirrels, chipmonks, or raccoons that are just about crawling up your leg!
Chipmonks? Chipmunks. I'm picturing these little critters with hooded robes on walking around humming to themselves.
After our lunch, we walked over to Fights of Wonder.
Actually, this is really Flights of Wonder, but that's not what we encountered.
Now, when arriving at these "open air', pick your own seat stadiums, the seating is "first come, first seat". You pick where you want to sit, and you stay there.
It's that simple. It's not like when they open the doors to a 3-D movie and tell you to move to the end of your row,,, which, still, has never happened even once in all the performances of all the 3-D movies in DisneyWorld!
Somebody is gonna plop down right in the middle.
Anyway, again, here, it's first come first served, pick your poison, choose your own seat.
This one couple saw things differently.
Seating in here is metal bench bleacher type seats, tough on the butt, and no arm rests in between.
The first two rows are marked "reserved" for handicapped seating, celebrities, in case Big Bird ever stopped by, and wheelchairs in the front.
So, we walk in with ten minutes to go, first two rows are reserved, like I said, the place is less than a quarter full, and a couple sitting on the aisle is sitting in row 4.
With my eyes, it was perfect, I almost always try to sit close as I can (see Finding Nemo) so I can see. So, Diane headed right for row 3. One problem:
Guy in row four has his feet on seats of row 3.
Right, that'll work, Smidgy sat down anyway. Feet magically moved at the last second.
This is known as the , ahem, "Keeping the row in front of you clear so nobody blocks our view," ploy.
I've seen people put their coats, jackets, purses, shoes, teeth, whatever on the row in front of them to try to prevent anybody from sitting there, I'm sure you have too.
Well, didn't work with us.
But this wasn't the end of it;
A couple minutes later I got a tap on my shoulder and the guy started mumbling to me,,,, I had to make him start over cuz even with my bionic, artificial man-made hearing, I still couldn't figure out what he was saying,,,,,,
,,, but Smidgy could.
"He's saying he wants us to move over because they were here first and we are now blocking their view so can we slide down, way off to the side?"
I glanced back at him, incredulously;
He nodded enthusiastically in agreement, confirming what Diane had just said.
His eyes were wide open, he had this cherubic face with eager expectation on it,,, so now I am faced with "being the adult", but especially showing this young couple how magnanimous, benevolent tourists from Chicago interact with fellow tourists...
So I answered him;
"No."
I found the entire thing beyond ridiculous!
Even if we did slide down, somebody else is going to come and sit here anyway.
A couple minutes later I glanced back and they were both gone, how strange was that? And if you didn't want anyone to sit in our row, than WHY DIDN"T YOU SIT THERE YOURSELVES!
Sorry, didn't mean to shout, but sometimes I just have no patience for IDIOTS!!!
Now, wouldn't you think that the seating fiasco for this show has reached it's conclusion, reached it's quota?
Nope, course not. I can draw morons quicker than the Republican Party can for new presidential candidates,,,, and I have spent my whole life a Republican! Can we dig up Ronnie to run again?
Ok, first, the obligatory Flights of Wonder picture,,,
I'm pretty sure there was a reason I took this picture, but dang, looking at it I can't see why.
See girl. See girl holding bird. ???
Ponzi, you see any white rocks in here?
So, ten minutes into the less than twenty minute show, our neighbors behind us had left, the show is in full swing and I relaxed my guard.
Big mistake!
There were seats in the back still open, seats on the sides still open, but down here front and center where we are sitting and have been since well before the show started, it's pretty packed in.
Yeah? So?
I was looking forward, naturally, at the stage, when suddenly a woman just about sat on my lap!
She had come from behind of course where I could'nt see her, but I had left about, maybe, at the very most,, um,,,
7 inches of Primetime Aluminum Bleacher Seat left exposed between my right thigh and the main aisle. That's 7 inches between my right hip and then, aisle air.
Open up your hand wide, from your thumb tip to your pinky tip is about 7 inches, if you're a guy, probly a bit less if you're a female unit, that's how much room was on the seat.
( ok, how many of you are staring at your palms, now?)
It was enough for maybe one cheek!
Problem was, she had big cheek,,,, AND,,,,
a toddler!
So, to recap here,,,,
There I was, minding my own business when suddenly, Poof, I now have half of a cheek on my right leg, with a 3 year old balancing on top of that leg/cheek, with the rest of said cheek now on bench, and second cheek still outside, overboard, trying to get inside, yelling, "I have a Child!"
I turned and gave her my best, "What in the heck are you doing?" look, but she was decidedly ignoring me and focused on the stage instead as if all was normal in the world. But it wasn't normal, we were so close I could have given her a Wet Willie,,,,,, with my tongue~!
Yiiill!
She is half out in the aisle yet, and thankfully a cast member came by to put an end to this nonsense:
"Miss, you can't be blocking the aisle." And that was it, having said that, she walked away!
Right about now I expected I was going to get a huge sideways thrust from this strange woman, to create more room for herself, but it never came, she just stayed right where she was, half in and half out, but you know what? Even if I could have moved over more for her, this entitlement attitude had worn itself thin for me this trip, and I wasn't gonna move!
This went on for five more minutes, then she suddenly leaped up grabbing the kid and headed back up the aisle without a word.
I didn't get it, still don't. There was a time I used to like to joke with Smidgy, "Hey, can't help it, I'm a chick magnet", but now it's been a lot more lately like somebody swapped out my chick magnet for 'Lizzy Borden magnet!
I guess I'm not the biggest fan of this show either, it's ok if you're killing time, though, or the first few times you see it.
From here we went over to see the Screaming Kids show, this is the 3-D movie housed in the Tree of Tears, "It's Tough to be a Bug".
I call it that cuz almost all children will end up screaming and crying before the 9 minute movie is over. No,
I'm not sure how long it actually is, but I'll bet nine minutes is awful close, it's gotta be the shortest of the 3-D movies. Philharmagic is pretty short too.
And 30 seconds of Captain EO is at the very edge of the Geneva Convention's rules concerning cruel and unusual punishment. And speaking of extreme torture, by the way, why doesn't that also apply to the Kardashians? Bruce Jenner, for shame!
And I'm not sure, but I'd swear they made us wait two turns, just to get a reasonable audience for the show, it has fallen that far in favor. Personally, not sure if it's because of my eye situation, but ever since this show opened it's been the hardest of all the 3-D Disney movies to focus on,,, my eyes try and try, and then just go all blooie on me.
Yes, blooie is a word, look it up.
Otherwise though:
This is the Captain EO of Animal Kingdom!
We spent a little time hanging around Discovery Island, the one thing that amazed me was the view from the bridge that goes over the river that runs around Discovery Island, ergo, the island.
No, this is not a St. Patties Day Celebration Day where you dye the river green, like they do here in Chicago, this is a naturally occuring state that happens in this ,,state.
We've seeen it before at Port Orleans, along the Sassagoula, but it was never this pronounced.
This looked like you could walk across it.
i was, and still am, really curious to know how this affects the river life and how it is affected by this. It just looks like such a stagnant quagmire that has no oxygen in it to keep even carp or bullheads alive.
Not too much later we did catch some of the afternoon parade.
Again, I have to admit, I am not, and never was a parade fan, even as a kid. John Phillips Sousa got old with me pretty quickly.
Even on the Fourth of July, the parade would come down our main street with eveybody marching along in it and behind it acting like they are something special, and I would be like, "yeah, so?", last week you were burning ants with a magnifying glass and wondering if lightning bugs heated up your stomach when you swallowed them.
The best part of those parades?
I'd entertain myself immensly with my pea shooter.
I also had great range and accuracy with it, not too many kids could handle the magnum straws, but I could;
"This is the most powerful pea shooter in the world, and can blow your head clean off, so ask yourself one question...."
Well, the attitude has carried over to Disney, minus the pea shooter. I'd probably be more open to the parades if it wasn't for the whole staking out, saving your spot routine.
I just hate that!
Once I'm in place for a parade, or Fireworks viewing location, it is my turf until I decide to leave, that simple!
And I really want to hurt people that think they can move into my turf, I'm sure Riff and Ice and Action and Baby John from the Jets could explain it better.
But I don't always want to have to be in confrontatiion mode, actually, I deplore it so it's easier to just skip the dumb parades afterall.
Then Spectromagic came along. Oh yes, I renamed it StressfullMagic, again, due to the saving your spot issue.
Yeah, love Spectro,,, I'm sure the pretty lights and catchy music have a lot to do with it, but it's gotten me to open up a bit more to the other parades.
We only caught a bit near the end of the parade here, but I had forgotten how imaginative all the floats are in this parade that we just keep getting glimpses of.
I believe there's an actual plot, something to do with Goofy going on vacation,,,,,
Ok, I see one more picture in this Photobucket sequence I think belongs in here:
After walking around a bit looking for Discovery Island trails we haven't done yet, time kept sliding away.
This is really unusual for us, to spend a day in a park without a noon break back at our resort, but it's about 4 o'clock now, and only, I think, two hours left before the park closes at six. And I do believe;
It was TIME!
Time to put my plan in action, I had nothing to lose.
First of all, as I expected, my foot was so swollen after all this walking that I kind of wished I was wearing clip clops instead of gym shoes. It always gets worse the later in the trip we get, but, you guessed it, I'm covered for this,,,,
been saving them in my pocket, "all the live long day."
Now, step number two:
Find beer!
This was the easy part, we were right near Pizzafari.
This is a really strange counter service restaurant;
it has all these strange, differently set up rooms, with differnent motifs and decor. Too bad the menu seems so limited though. They have pizzas, and they have faris, and that's about it.
After purchasing a couple of huge draft beers, we went and found a quiet room to sit in and relax.
I'm not sure why the beers have to be so dang big in Disney, not sure if these are 16 or 20 ouncers, but either way, more than I'd like at a time.
What happened to the standard 12 ounce size?
Sitting there talking, it felt so good to be off my foot, and waiting for my helpers to kick in.
Then I remembered step 3:
Right after these breaks from our sponsors:
After all, this is a humongously short chapter so it's ,,,,
INTERMISSION
"Let's all gather in the Lobby, we have popcorn and Coca Cola products and candy there. And don't forget the Raisonettes and Sno Caps!"
......... "and remember, Corning Pennsylvania, not just a major tourist attraction, but where those bowls taking up space in your cabinets came from."
Or was it Ohio?
And now, back to the movie...
Part of step 3 had been in effect much,,, ok, some, of the day.
This involves these clip on, flip up sunglasses I have had on all the live long day.
What? I used that line already? You sure? Oh well, tough.
But, the secret weapon that is also in my pocket is a rolled up, one piece flexible plastic sunglasses we get from our regular opthalmologist after he deletes you.
I mean, dilates you, I hate it when he deletes me.
Then I end up in the recycle bin and have to be restored.
These are actually kind of cool, when you unroll them, they try to roll back up and that's what keeps them on your face, in place.
So, sitting here in our what is not as quiet as it was, Pizzafari room, I have now slipped my industrial strength dilation sunglasses on, underneath my regular sunglasses.
Believe me, deep in Mammoth Cave with all the power out would seem bright to you compared to what I was now seeing.
Smidgy was just an outline.
Working on our beers, and man, to me it was work, I'm not a guzzler, this table kittycorner from us kept filling up with more and more people, all wanting to prove that THEY have the greatest vocal chords in the world. Then the little
kids at the table found out that nobody cared if they got out of their seats and ran around.
We drank faster.
The sound grew now to a cacophony!
It was when one of the kids thought my shoelace was Silly String, I jumped up and said, "Hey, you know we can bring these with us!"
And we left and we did, worked out better this way, anyway.
Straight to Dinosaur we walked, finishing our beers on the way.
Right in front of Dinosaur, though, I had to stop Smidgy to take the Cretaceous Trail walk, just a short path that is supposedly lined with genuing fauna from, well, the Cretaceous Era. Why I needed to do this again I have no idea,,, there's plants, some recorded grumblings, and more plants, and then you are back out on the main walkway again, and can either go back the way you came from just now, or walk around on the outside and come back in the way you first did.
That's what we did.
Smidgy disgustedly said to me, "Well, was it good for you?"
"Oh, absolutely, the intense feeling of immersion into the Cretaceous Period was astonishing, especially smelling all the real, live, shru....."
"Right, Can it!"
And we repeated our steps to Dinosaur.
Walking through the "museum" lobby area, I kept the lenses on even in the preshow.
It was in here that I was once again reminded of how many foreigners are here at this time, and again, I'm not talking about Brazillians.
I'm talking foreigners from all over,,,, and many Indian or Pakistani.
Here's what happened in the pre-show in Dinosaur, but it was more the norm for this trip rather than the exception:
Pre-shows are generally talky things with instructions;
Foreigners don't understand English well, so this part is really boring to them:
So, while pre show is going on, foreigners talk in native tongue to each other the entire time.
Now, you might assume this annoys me;
"Well, butter my buns and call me a biscuit," you would be right!
By the way, never squat with your spurs on! ( I dunno, renegade thoughts)
I did not start removing my layers of sunglasses until we were going down the metal stairs to the boarding area.
I also was wearing my last, little ring of defense, a fishing hat that I had pulled down low over my eyes.
When I finally was seated in my car, I knew there was nothing more I could do to improve my vision for this dark ride.
Then, for some really stupid reason beyond my comprehension, I took off the fishing hat that you saw me wearing in the picture from the night before at Kidani, and put it in the "basket under the seat", as instructed.
Actually, it's "Please put your belongings in the pouch in front of you, time travel commences in T minus,,,,,"
Well, even though it was still bright sunlight outside, my preventive, protection eye wear really did the trick!
I didn't see as well as if it had been night out,,, but a whole bunch better than I would have in normal daylight without the protection,,, and yes, I've tried the ride many times in the past during the day, and not seen diddly.
Then we left and of course I forgot my hat in the basket.
Ok, I've only had one beer, yeah, the painkillers were helping me by now,,, but still,,, how in the heck can you wear a hat all the live lon,,,,,,,,all day long and now not miss it?
Better question yet:
How can Smidgy, who has not been under the hat, but been looking at the dang thing all day long,,,, now not notice that it's not there either?
I think it was on the bus on the way home I noticed it was missing. And that thing cost me 4 bucks at Wallmart!
With a successfull Dinosaur now in my pocket, we went and bought another beer from Restaurantosaurus,,,,,,and go ahead, type that sucker out fast without a typo, I dare ya!
But these beers were for a slow walk over to Festival of the Lion King, which will finish off our day for us.
Yeah, again I was really disappointed that Primevil Whirl was closed still. We found out it opened the very, stinkin, next, day!
Now here's the strange part:
In the morning, I had smuggled in all our little bottles, all 4 of them, but sometime earlier, I gave Smidgy her two.
We are now walking to the last show of the day, drinking a beer, and I still haven't touched the little bottles, hey, I made it all day without touching the vikes, so this was an added,, um,,hmm,,, what's the word I'm looking for?
Oh yes, Paradox!
Finishing our beer near the entrance, we went inside,,,,but I gotta say, I gave a sideways long look at the smoking area they put in right next door that we found out about on our last frigid December trip.
So, we are sitting in our seats,,,,,Platypus section I believe,,, "Ok, now, can you make a sound like a platypus?"
yeah, yeah,,, like I said,,, this is not as novel as it used to be,,,,, and no,,, I never liked the "Hand Jive."
(whoa, had to be careful there!)
but we still went along and enjoyed the show very much.
I kinda sipped on my little bottles during the show, you gotta have something for a show and I didn't see a buttered popcorn stand in the lobby.
Now, the really strange part;
With the sun in our eyes, we left as they were locking up and went back to the resort. This just seems wrong to have
to leave this early. It's just plum wrong.
Back in our room, we still had over two hours of light left, so once again I am running for the ice machine and making a couple of drinks in our refi mugs and we went on down to the pool...........
with one other thing......
the damn, dreaded Yahtzee Game!
Ok, I gotta cut this chapter, and cut it now, I'm using up too much material in ONE SHOT! Plus, Marita will get mad at me for ending the report pre-maturely, instead of
immaturely like I always do.
So, "And that's the way it was, Good night, and may God bless."