Overreacting? Parenting question......

[Hannathy]

Check her texting while she is at camp and if she is still doing it, disable it immediately. She is at church camp, there are more important things she needs to be doing.

I agree with this, in fact I would disable it anyway while she is away. Like the above poster said she has more important things to be doing.

 

[JennyMominRI]

I would have taken the phone away from her already..We had issues with my DD's phone and she hasn't had one for 8 months . She is about to get another one

 

[Cool-Beans]

I, too, do not understand the need for teens to be in contact 24/7. I have a 16-year-old DSD whose mother was insistent on her having a phone and the second month she had it she ran up a $600 phone bill, texting and talking all day long at school. can't remember exactly the # of texts, but it was insane. Being assessible all the time, I feel, it not a good thing and they never seem to have an out. Plus, in our situation, our DSD is not able to make decisions or choices, because she is always having to check with her mom about everything, thus the phone. I am not sure she is ever going to be able to make her own decisions and feel comfortable about them because of this. It has been this way her whole life, not something new.

With that being said, the text would be gone. My motto is, "If they don't hate me at some point, I am not doing my job." I don't mind making the
unpopular decisions when their safety is a concern, or if I feel they cannot handle the situation or consequences that go along with it. They may not understand, but I can bet that one day they will appreciate the decisions I have made for them.

Nix the text, nix the text, nix the text - You can do it!

Maybe someone the kids love very much is ill and the kids want to know when they are about to die, to say goodbye.

When I was 15, I got left in a metropark in an area I was unfamiliar with because my friend hopped in a strange guy's car (and he did turn out to be strange), but I got the creepies from him and didn't. I had to hike my way out of the metropark, having no idea where I was. Then I had to walk through an unfamiliar city to a pay phone.

If my kids end up in a situation like that, I'd like them to be able to call.

A friend of mine slipped on some rocks out in the lake once. We weren't supposed to have walked out on that thing. The rocks are loose and some are slippery, but we did it anyway...just to say we'd done it. She slipped and fell and hit her head on the rock, passed out and slipped into the water. We fished her out but she didn't wake up right away, so I had to take off to find someone. But those rocks were still loose and slippery. It took me about 45 minutes to get to a phone.

If my kids do pull some stupid stunt like that, I'd like them to have a cell phone.

We also climbed up a bridge downtown. Luckily nobody got hurt. Honest to God, the stuff kids do that parents never find out about...it's scary. Which, there you go again, is another reason for cell phones.

It isn't to stop the kid from making dumb-*** choices in my case. It is to call for help when those choices land them in trouble.

...and also so that I can tell them to pick up a loaf of bread on the way home.

 

[darlak]

I think we all have to set our own rules for our house and our kids. I'll tell you my rules and maybe they, along with everyone else's rules, will help you gain perspective. My youngest DD-13, currently has no cell phone because she broke the texting rule along with a few other rules not related to the phone. We have unlimited texting, so that's not the point. The point was the broken rules.

My DD-20 got her first cell phone when she was 16. The rule was that she wasn't allowed on the phone while she was driving. The first time I was aware that it happened, she lost the phone and the car. She lost the phone for breaking the no phone while driving rule. She lost the car because I felt that she had made an immature decision that endangered her, her little sister and other innocent people on the road. She lost both for a 90-day period. I only had to impose that restriction one time. She also knew that if it happened again, she was looking at a 180-day restriction.

 

[Disney Doll]

No. She knows the rules. She broke the rules several times. If she were my kid, the texting would be gone. A Firefly phone would be next.

This is very wise.

 

[Oreo Cookie]

I think we all have to set our own rules for our house and our kids. I'll tell you my rules and maybe they, along with everyone else's rules, will help you gain perspective. My youngest DD-13, currently has no cell phone because she broke the texting rule along with a few other rules not related to the phone. We have unlimited texting, so that's not the point. The point was the broken rules.

My DD-20 got her first cell phone when she was 16. The rule was that she wasn't allowed on the phone while she was driving. The first time I was aware that it happened, she lost the phone and the car. She lost the phone for breaking the no phone while driving rule. She lost the car because I felt that she had made an immature decision that endangered her, her little sister and other innocent people on the road. She lost both for a 90-day period. I only had to impose that restriction one time. She also knew that if it happened again, she was looking at a 180-day restriction.

Good for you. Break the rules and deal with the repercussions, this is the only way kids learn.

 

[dimimi]

I'm not one for drastic consequences. If it were my kid, I would take the phone for a week. Then try again. If it happens again, take it for longer. If she leaves the house and you want her to have the phone for your convenience, fine, but otherwise no phone.

Also, I would have told her no phone for church camp. I could see using it to call home in an emergency, but otherwise, the phone would be off.

 

[jsmith]

i would have turned it off long ago-if she wants a phone-shes 16-she can get a job and pay for it-the phone the service and her texts-you will be amazed at how much that cuts back texting. As for set hours for use-enforce it or dont make the rules-part of the issue here is that the rules arent-she can do what ever and you wont take her phone.

 

[daisax]

Don't have anything different to say about the "punishment" side of things, but I'd urge you to talk to her about the "obsession" side of it. If she's using hundreds of minutes a day texting... that's hours of her life that she's tuned out of the world around her. As somebody upthread said, actual conversation on the phone would be a bit less troubling, if only because it would probably be deeper.

I'd be wary of my teen doing ANYTHING for hours at a time, or anything that they COULDN'T be without in their hands. We laugh at the idea of internet addiction, but really, if the kid is appalled or panicked at the thought of eating dinner in a restaurant without texting, or sitting through a wedding without texting, or walking down the aisle in the mall without texting, etc.... there's a very real problem with impulse control. (Not to say the OP's child has this issue)

Part of making "entertainment" so portable is that kids have very little time for creative thought -- kids don't look out the window on car trips any more, they watch DVDs. They don't bicker and play games with their siblings, they plug in their ipods or their game boys and go into a world of their own.

I think it's also a good time with a teen girl to point out the vulnerability that exists when "tuned out" in public, whether via ipod or texting or cell phone... sad to say, it's just another signal to a predator that Somebody's Not Paying Attention to Her Surroundings.

 

[dementia412]

I'd have taken her phone, and see hpw she likes 10 days of camp without it.

 

[bevtoy]

Sounds like she knows she can get away with it.

I would take the phone away. Setting rules, talking & threatening mean nothing unless you follow through.