CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR:
Tonight we dont race to our room, setting the hall carpets on fire. Although I am anxious to witness the transformation made by turn down service, part of me wants to prolong the anticipation and savor the moment, so we walk slowly to our room, enjoying the view over the balcony of the lobby below. There is so much to look at in the Lodge. The theming is great. Even the hall lights are works of art.
When we reach our door, neither of us immediately reaches for our key card. I think we both have a stab of doubt whether Mousekeeping has really been here and anything has changed. If I open the door and find the room the way we left it, I will be very disappointed. Finally, I hold my breath and dig the card from my pocket, slide it into the lock, and slowly open the door.
Soft light bathes the room with a welcoming glow. The bedspreads are folded back invitingly, and the sheets are turned back part way and tucked at an angle. A few mints, artfully arranged, sit near the fold along with a card bearing a verse. On one of the beds the TV remote is inserted just under the fold of the sheets, ready for use. The pillows stand at an angle across the headboards. We step inside for a closer look. Trash has been emptied; used towels have been replaced with fresh ones. The room looks warm and comfortable, and the fact that someone has gone to the trouble to arrange everything beautifully to make a welcoming impression when we return is a nice feeling.
To be honest, I used to scoff at the idea of turn down service. When I first read about it on the Resorts Board, my initial impression was, Whats the big deal? Just fold back your own bedding, you lazy slugs. While Im all for being pampered, it sounded like a nonsensical service, but as posters went on to describe the service and why they enjoyed it, it began to make more sense. Slowly I was converted from a Turn Down Scoffer to a Turn Down Enthusiast.
Turn down service is more than just folding back bedding. If you have lounged on the beds watching TV or have taken a nap, Mousekeeping remakes the beds neatly before folding back the covers for the night. They provide fresh towels, tidy the room, empty the trash and turn on a few soft lights to greet you when you stumble in wearily at the end of the day. The mints and the nicely arranged pillows are a bit frivolous; still, I could get into that.
We dont mess up a room much with just the two of us, so I actually rumpled the spare bed and threw a couple towels on the bathroom floor for good measure before we left to justify the need for turn down service. Lowell wanted to do his part by leaving his signature on the bed: a pair of dirty socks, but I pictured the maid carrying them on the end of a stick to the trash can, and talked him out of it. Wed owe a bigger tip for that.
The way I figure it, Turn Down Service is evidence of an advanced culture and civilization. We should take advantage of it, and feel privileged to live in an era with such refinements. Our Viking friends that we met on Maelstrom, Thor and Vidar, never had it so good. Im sure they wouldnt know what to make of half of the luxuries we take for granted. Can you picture Thor and Vidar checking in for a stay at the Lodge? I can just see them walking into the Wilderness Lodge, staring in amazement at the expansive lobby and towering fireplace. Eventually a doorman, dressed in a park ranger uniform, sees their confusion and guides them toward the reservation desk. Thor and Vidar march up to the counter, leer at the female Cast Member, and demand a sleeping chamber. The nervous Cast Member eyes their weapons and is almost too flustered to type, but quells her alarm, pecks at her keyboard, and eventually finds an unoccupied room. She issues key cards and hands them to Thor, then gives him directions to their room. She breathes a sigh of relief when they lumber away from her desk.
The Vikings cross the lobby according to the Cast Members directions and find the elevator alcove. Imagine their amazement as they stand in front of a wall that suddenly parts in two to reveal a secret chamber with people inside. Strange Magic! The occupants exit the elevator, throw a startled look at the Vikings, then hurry by them, snickering at their helmets and clothing.
A kindly white-haired retired couple, who have been waiting for the elevator, step inside and hold the door for Thor and Vidar. The Vikings enter warily.
What floor are you going to? The retired gentleman asks.
The Vikings look at each other as if wondering whether to disclose this information. Three, Vidar grunts. The elevator lurches upward. Vidar and Thor let out an oath and crash into each other, weapons clanging, as they flail about in terror looking for something to hold onto. In a moment the elevator stops and the doors part once again.
Third floor, the gentleman announces with a bemused expression.
Thor and Vidar stumble out, shaken and sweating, and turn to look just as the doors to the secret chamber snap shut behind them. Utter sorcery! They ready their swords and axes, preparing for whatever new danger they may encounter as they search for their sleeping chamber. At last they find a door with symbols that match the ones on the papers they received at check-in. They know nothing about key cards, and when the door wont open, they begin chopping at it with their axes. Fortunately a Mousekeeper hears the sound of splintering wood and comes running and lets them in before the door is reduced to a heap of firewood.
And there awaiting them is a beautifully furnished room. With Turn Down Service. Thor and Vidar drop their weapons and stomp with dirty boots across the room to examine the comfortable beds, which are not stuffed with straw. Thor picks up one of the chocolates and sniffs the wrapper. He tears off the paper and examines the candy briefly before sticking it in his mouth.
What is that? Vidar asks.
Hard flat brownie, Thor says, chewing.
He picks up the curious black device with buttons that is tucked into the sheets and points it at Vidar. Perhaps this is a weapon!
Dont aim it at me, fool!
Thor changes his aim then squeezes the device. The TV comes on. Once again the Vikings let out an oath. They step fearfully away from the box with the moving pictures. But fear gives way to an equally primitive emotion as they stare at the figures on the screen.
Women! Vidar growls appreciatively. He edges cautiously toward the TV and stretches out a hand to touch the women. Bah! They are like a reflection upon still water. His face crumples in a disappointed scowl.
They are inside the box. Free them! Thor commands. Vidar nods and scoops his axe from the floor. He approaches the TV just as Thor, who is still examining the remote, happens to squeeze the mysterious device again. The women disappear! Both Vikings shout in rage and stamp angrily across the room, cursing their evil luck.
Okay, I admit it; I have a very active imagination. Now that I have created these Viking characters, they frequently intrude on my thoughts when I least expect it. Ahem. Back to our regularly scheduled programming! Where was I? Oh, yes. As I was saying, turn down service is a luxury devised by advanced civilizations; therefore, Lowell and I feel duty bound to further the spread of civilization. Were it not for turndown service, mankind would surely revert to savages.
I check the drawers to make sure the food I put away is still there. Well have breakfast at our own Redneck Concierge in the morning. I know exactly where and how I will set it up. And no 7th floor Club Level people are invited.
As we get ready for bed I run through our agenda for tomorrow. First we have our Redneck Concierge breakfast, then we browse through the gift shop, take a walk over to the Lodge Villas for a few photos there, take a longer walk to Fort Wilderness on the woodsy path that connects the two resorts, then later we lay by our pool until its time for our special event: Afternoon Tea at the Grand Floridian. When we finish Tea we have free time to explore the grounds. I have never seen anything but the main building and didnt realize until recently that there were other buildings at the Grand Floridian. We should have time to go for a leisurely swim before our evening event: Hoop De Doo Revue. With any luck, well get back to the Lodge after HDDR in time to see the Electrical Water Parade. It sounds like a full day, and a fun day, even though it doesnt include any theme parks.
Monday we leave in the late afternoon, so the agenda begins with Tonga Toast at the Poly for breakfast. I have been longing for Tonga Toast, so going to the Kona Café is a special event to me, on a par with HDDR or Afternoon Tea. Afterward I want to take lots of photos at the Poly and enjoy the ambience there for awhile. We love to check out the gift shops and look at Hawaiian shirts and such. Well spend the rest of the day at the Lodge pool, doing detective duty, watching for Pool Hoppers. Both days sound wonderful. I have it all planned out.
But sometimes fate has a way of throwing a few obstacles in the way of the best laid plans. Unfortunately, tomorrow evening ends somewhat differently than expected.
And it is not a welcome development.