DISclaimer: This episode is dedicated to one of my new friends and readers CELERYSTALKER who is a wonderful person and a big Disney fan. I hope this episode brings you a few smiles and a chuckle or two. Welcome, Celerystalker, READER # 100, to the further adventures of the Lucky Fourteens!
PART TWENTY:
Its time to head back to Epcot. This time we opt for the faster method, which is to take the bus there. Lowell and I cross the lobby and pass through the gigantic front doors, then cut left toward the bus stop which is a covered shelter with the same log construction and green roof as the Lodge. When the Epcot bus pulls up Im relieved to see plenty of available seats. Once again we avoid the unpleasant fate of standing in the aisle doing a balancing act that should be attempted only by stunt men or circus performers.
Everything looks different at night. It seems we have driven a long way when the doors open again, but even though I could swear we have driven several miles, were only at Fort Wilderness. Sometimes the Time Dilation Effect can be a nuisance. The last thing I want to do is expand time when Im riding a bus. A large group of people get on. The lucky ones get seats; the rest get to audition for Cirque du Soleil for the next several miles.
Now, with any luck, were really going to Epcot.
As our bus pulls into Epcot and parks, everyone scrambles to be first to the exits. We hold back, afraid of losing a couple toes or an eye in the fray. When we finally get off the bus, we pause to look around and memorize the location of our bus stop. This is a small but important detail, because Lowell and I are famous for forgetting where we park. Grant you, finding a bus is easier than hunting through acres of parking lot for your car, but it still pays to know exactly where youre going when you exit a Disney park with thousands of other people, some of whom are in direct competition for a ride back to your resort. What I wouldnt give for a remote bus starter with built-in finder button. When we exited Epcot, we could aim it at the sea of busses, press the finder button and set off the horn and four way flashers. As long as we had the only remote, it would work. Imagine four hundred people pressing their finder buttons at once. The entire bus lot erupts with flashing lights and blaring horns.
We pass through security, then the finger scan machines, uneventfully. The crowds at Epcot havent gotten any better since we left. Fortunately there isnt much on our agenda. We plan to wander through World Showcase, then watch Illuminations.
As you may remember, however, due to the breech in the space-time continuum that was created when I jumped ahead in our story to take you impatient readers to the Wilderness Lodge, we must now jump back in time and resume activities which actually occurred earlier this afternoon. At that time we rode Spaceship Earth, El Rio del Tiempo, and Maelstrom. I want to share those experiences with you, but be forewarned, time travel can be dangerous. Once we go back in time it is possible to meet duplicates of ourselves who exist in that earlier time period. Contact with our other selves could create a paradox that might threaten the entire fabric of the universe. While Maelstrom may be a fast pass to some of you, its not exciting enough to risk upsetting the stability of the universe. After completing our three rides, we will travel forward to Real Time, and resume our activities in their natural order.
The shift to the past which is about to occur may create a brief sensation of dizziness or nausea, so please refrain from eating or drinking and assume a stable, comfortable position.
Here we go. . . .
Congratulations! Our transition was successful.
I feel a bit disoriented and slightly queasy, but it will probably pass. It may simply be the lingering effects of my indigestible pork jerky. I fervently hope my leftovers havent also traveled back in time, hoping to be reunited with me at Epcot.
How appropriate that we are now walking toward Spaceship Earth, a ride which is billed as a slow moving trip through time. As you know, I love any attraction where I can ride through and look at stuff so Spaceship Earth has always appealed to me. The animatronic scenes are fascinating, the commentary is relaxing and entertaining, and the music enhances the total experience. At Spaceship Earth we will explore the history of communications, from the days of cave men through the space age, and on into our future.
We are surprised to see a rather long line for Spaceship Earth, a ride which has long since lost its status as a really cool ride. It now shares the fate of the once beautiful prom queen who has graduated from school, gained a few pounds, developed a few wrinkles and gray hairs, and can only dream about her former popularity. Fortunately the line appears to be moving quickly, and before long were inside the sphere.
We step onto the moving walkway and climb into one of the blue ride vehicles which Disney calls a time machine. Little do they know that we are experienced time travelers. We look around at the people inside the other time machines and allow ourselves the momentary satisfaction of feeling superior to our fellow travelers. They probably know nothing about the Time Dilation effect, the space-time continuum, or temporal distortions of the universe. I take Lowells hand as we prepare to travel thousands of years back in time.
Our time machine moves deeper into Spaceship Earth, into relative darkness, as we span the ages to visit more primitive societies.
We begin our journey with cavemen. Lest there be any confusion, these are early cavemen, predecessors of the ones who currently star in GEICO commercials. To the best of our knowledge, they did not wear three piece suits or eat roast duck with mango salsa during this era. Early cavemen may have had a primitive form of language, and we know that they drew pictures.
During this era, people on the DIS boards would have communicated via grunts, hand gestures, and cave paintings.
We move on to view the kingdom of Egypt, where papyrus was invented. This scene is very interesting as papyrus is actually the forerunner of writing paper, and will ultimately spawn advertising circulars, junk mail, and greeting cards.
During this era, members of the DIS boards would have communicated by written messages, using hieroglyphs on papyrus scrolls.
We come to another interesting scene. This time we view the 9th Century Phoenicians who invent a modern alphabet. I dont think we fully appreciate the importance of this wonderful break-through. Writing a message with hieroglyphs is very slow work, and if you mess up, there is no Liquid Papyrus.
In this era, I believe DIS board members would still be sending messages via papyrus scrolls, but would abandon hieroglyphs in favor of a written alphabet.
Advancements come more quickly as we pass through the Renaissance in Italy. We see the paintings on the Sistine Chapel ceiling, and visit ancient Greece. Mankind gains more culture and knowledge and all looks bright for humanity until we reach the Dark Ages and the destruction of Rome. I urge our time machine forward, past these gloomy times, and my wish is granted; before long we pass into the Age of Enlightenment. I am excited to see the invention of the printing press, despite knowing that with it will come Readers Digest Sweepstakes forms and numberless credit card offers.
During this era DIS board members would be able to print multiple copies of messages without writing each one by hand.
I am fascinated by the scene showing the development of our telephone system. Operators sit at a switchboard routing calls across the country. This is an exciting time for mankind. We can speak to people far away and become part of a larger community. It is indeed becoming a Small World After All. News and all types of communication move at a much faster pace than relying solely on the printed word.
During this era, DIS board members are able to phone one another to brag about their latest travel bargains and PIN codes.
Time marches onward into the period of silent movies, then talkies, then television, and eventually to the modern day of computers.
During these eras DIS board members are able to watch the Wonderful World of Disney on television, and engage in refillable mug and pool hopping debates using their own personal computers.
Eventually our seats rotate to reveal a star-filled night and we proceed into the future. Im not sure why we faced forward to ride into the past, then turn backwards to ride into the future, but when I figure this out, Ill let you know.
The last part of this ride has been updated over the years to stay ahead of our current technology so that the scenes maintain a futuristic feeling. We watch young people on opposite sides of the world communicating by video phone. We see other glimpses of the not-to-distant future as our time machine carries us through the darkness. These closing scenes tie together the theme that over the ages mankind has overcome different languages and cultures and learned to communicate.
The soothing drone of the narrators voice, the twinkling lights in the darkness, and the uplifting musical score are entertaining and satisfying in a way that is hard to define. Spaceship Earth is as far as possible from a thrill ride, yet the fifteen minutes we spend inside the gigantic sphere are enjoyable, and as we slowly descend I am not anxious for the experience to end. In a few moments, however, we return to the present era, and must climb out of our time machines.
Where to next? Lowell asks as we walk outside.
Grab your serape and sombrero. Were off to El Rio del Tiempo at the Mexico pavilion. Its slated for total refurbishment soon, so this will be our last chance to see Mexicos original presentation.
The last time we were on this ride was before we had actually traveled to Mexico, but weve been there twice since. We learned a few odd phases in Spanish before our trips, of which two stand out in my mind. The first was, Manos aribba! translated as Hands up! I have no idea why we learned this one. Im not sure whether Lowell expected to be involved in a stick-up, or whether he figured if we ran out of spending money, we might resort to bank robbery. The other was, No moleste mas. This translates to, Dont bother me any more. Or more loosely translated, Beat it, get lost! Unfortunately, this phrase was quite useful.
I smile to myself as we walk toward Mexico. I have a feeling this ride may bring back some interesting memories.
Kay! So. Normally I'm a pretty fast reader, but I have been savoring your trip story for the past couple weeks. 
If they'd had flat-screen TVs in the rooms back then, I never would have been able to drag my hubby to the parks!
However, the view of the fireworks helped make up for that! Not bad for a postcard rate!
celerystalker! Hello and a big welcome to new reader # 100. I mentioned in a recent post that reader # 100 would have the next episode dedicated to them. Its funny and rather nice that you hadnt read far enough to discover that statement. I hope you will enjoy having the episode dedicated to you. It will be about Spaceship Earth. 
You have been savoring my story? That is a such a nice thing to say! Thanks! I havent decided when to post the next episode. Im a couple ahead, but have a vacation coming up, so am trying to have one ready to post before I go and another already written for when I get back. See how faithful I am about not leaving readers hanging for weeks? 
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