Our Seemingly Silly Semi-Illogical Four Day Whirlwind Trip

[MomBoyd]

Thanks for sharing more of your fantastic TR. MMMMMM, hot tubbing! It will just not be the same when we are there in August. See you at tea.

 

[Kay7979]

Hello again, and thanks for reading and posting comments!

oh I wish I was still sitting by that pool with you, it is so cold at my desk in Chilly Philly that my fingers are numb! you are wonderfully descriptive, for a moment i was almost certain that the steam fogging up my glasses was from the WL hot tub instead of my mug of Lipton. Thanks for the latest adventure!

Philadisney: It’s nice that I could bring a little warmth to your week. It’s still cold here, too. It’s times like this when I am glad I still have those mental “snapshots” from my trips. I see and relive a few of those special moments.

Kay -

WOW, I feel like a star now. I so enjoyed strolling through the wilderness with you and all the other DISers. And the spa did wonders for my back, which was killing me!

You may not remember this, but, I once mentioned how I would love to have dinner with you & Lowell. I think I'd rather do tea with yall. I promise to behave, pretty please?

TigerKat. You are a star! If you need more therapy for your back, reread the episode and get back in the spa. Awhile ago, I added to the beginning of the report an index of the parts with their page and post numbers. The episodes are titled there, even though I don’t name the episodes when I post them. Now you can figure out which “chapter” you want to reread.

I do remember you said you wanted to join us for dinner. I think I told you that you must not embarrass easily. I can’t let you sit with us for tea, since we only have a reservation for two, but you can watch through the doorway, or the windows that look in from the lobby. We’ll be sitting along the wall on the left, on the lobby side of the room. You can’t miss us!

Kay,

Thanks for another very enjoyable segment!!

Gee, thanks! I'm relieved that one who would consider nocturnal torture by saucepans has a kind streak when it comes to us who might be considered virtual pool hoppers.

(Eyestalks): This one had me laughing out loud. I think you've been watching too many science fiction movies recently.

Looking forward to the Afternoon Tea!

iluvsushi: Your comment is very funny! I have never found it necessary to resort to the saucepan in the dryer punishment, but I’m keeping that tactic in mind, just in case. As for the eyestalks, yes, we do watch WAY too much science fiction. In another thread I hang out on, we have an inside joke that most of the posters are really “guys living in their mothers basements who play minesweeper and watch science fiction all day,” or something to that effect. We had a few posters who admitted to still playing minesweeper, and I’ll raise my hand for watching science-fiction in the basement since that’s where my office and our family room are. But most of us are not guys, and none of us live with our mothers!

Thanks for sharing more of your fantastic TR. MMMMMM, hot tubbing! It will just not be the same when we are there in August. See you at tea.

MomBoyd: Enjoy the virtual hot tub now, because you’re right, the spa loses much of it’s appeal when it’s 90 degrees and the humidity is 95%. I have never been in the summer. We only go during cool times of the year, but I realize that isn’t possible for many people who have children in school.

Stay tuned for an upcoming segment, Part 26 ½: A spoof of a new deluxe resort for upscale travelers who have seen and done it all and want something unique: Disney’s Grande Ghetto Resort.

 

[NAB]

My goodness I am like Twinkie I did not notice my name the first time around . I just re read your latest one.

I will blame it on Animal Cracker....guess she should not read at night, her eyes are bad.when she is tired....

Can't wait for more

 

[TigerKat]

I'm heading off to the spa again, but I need to hurry. I have to get on over to the GF and stake out my spot for viewing tea I wouldn't miss this for the world!!

 

[tiggerwannabe]

Wow again! Kay...

I was right there too~Your writing is exquisite, so descriptive...I could feel the sun on my face, hear the bubbling spa around me, watch the geyser spew!!!

More...more....more...please

 

[MommyPoppins]

DING DING DING

I LOVE how you had me sitting BY the pool and not IN the pool. THANK YOU! No more tepid pee water for me, thanks!

The tour was wonderfu! I felt like I was there! Thankfully, again, not in the water.

What book were we reading? I love a good mystery with some scare factor.

Was NAB in her full on winter parka?

 

[Kay7979]

A FEW MORE REPLIES:

My goodness I am like Twinkie I did not notice my name the first time around . I just re read your latest one.

I will blame it on Animal Cracker....guess she should not read at night, her eyes are bad.when she is tired....

Can't wait for more

NAB: Now you guys are making me worried. How many other sections of my report have you missed? Maybe you missed all my funniest, most interesting parts. I think you’d better go back and read the whole report from the beginning. There are only 40 pages or so. So far. Better hurry before I add any more episodes.

I'm heading off to the spa again, but I need to hurry. I have to get on over to the GF and stake out my spot for viewing tea I wouldn't miss this for the world!!

TigerKat: Hmmmm. Why do I get the distinct impression you are gleefully rubbing your hands together, just waiting for us to do something atrocious and embarrassing?

Wow again! Kay...

I was right there too~Your writing is exquisite, so descriptive...I could feel the sun on my face, hear the bubbling spa around me, watch the geyser spew!!!

More...more....more...please

tiggerwannabe. Hi! I haven’t seen you in awhile. Thanks for stopping by to say you enjoyed spending some time lounging with us at the Wilderness Lodge. I figure for the price we had to pay, I may as well let as many people as possible share the enjoyment. I think we got our money’s worth now that all you folks came along.

DING DING DING

I LOVE how you had me sitting BY the pool and not IN the pool. THANK YOU! No more tepid pee water for me, thanks!

The tour was wonderfu! I felt like I was there! Thankfully, again, not in the water.

What book were we reading? I love a good mystery with some scare factor.

Was NAB in her full on winter parka?

MommyP: I think, appropriately, you were reading a romance/suspense novel by Elizabeth Lowell. Anyone with the name Lowell must be good. We convinced NAB to shed the parka since it was warm enough for her to enjoy a little sun. She told me she was keeping it handy, though, to throw over any sunbathers in a thong bikini.

 

[MommyPoppins]

A FEW MORE REPLIES:



MommyP: I think, appropriately, you were reading a romance/suspense novel by Elizabeth Lowell. Anyone with the name Lowell must be good. We convinced NAB to shed the parka since it was warm enough for her to enjoy a little sun. She told me she was keeping it handy, though, to throw over any sunbathers in a thong bikini.

 

[celerystalker]

While you were changing, some little whippersnapper (I know he was a pool hopper!) lifted his leg near your chairs -
So I whipped out the cattle prod and zapped him one. I waved it menancially? (how on earth do you spell that word?) at his mother when she raised her eyebrow. I think it was a good thing you had the entire electrocution kit with you. A mild shock is much better than what I WOULD have done.

 

[tiggerwannabe]

Oh, I'm always here...always lurking....

Always looking for new episodes to read~

Every trip report I read has a little something special, your something special in your humor and your ability to "take us with you." I am quite happy to help you get your money's worth out of the cost of your stay~

(Most times I'm reading while at work and it's always waaay to obvious that I'm not working if I'm smiling and typing at the cash register...so I lurk...alot.)

I guess my next question would be, when ya going back?

 

[Kay7979]

Oh, I'm always here...always lurking....

Always looking for new episodes to read~

Every trip report I read has a little something special, your something special in your humor and your ability to "take us with you." I am quite happy to help you get your money's worth out of the cost of your stay~

(Most times I'm reading while at work and it's always waaay to obvious that I'm not working if I'm smiling and typing at the cash register...so I lurk...alot.)

I guess my next question would be, when ya going back?

tiggerwannabe: Sorry, but we have no immediate plans to return. The next vacation is Cabo San Lucas, Mexico near our 10th anniversary. Probably we'll go to WDW the following year, next fall.

I plan to post the new spoof: Disney's Grande Ghetto Resort later today. Whetever you do, don't read it at work if you don't want to be discovered DISing. I think it's funnier than the AK Villas spoof.


celerystalker: Thanks for defending our chairs. I can almost hear your maniacal laughter. (I think I spelled that right because Google spellcheck gave me a pass!)

 

[tiggerwannabe]

I very much look forward to the next episode...

I'm ok, for right now, my coworker called off sick....what I need you to do is get this posted before the boss gets here to cover for him...Puhlease!

I'm usually ok with the reading...

It's the responding that always gets me busted

 

[Kay7979]

DISclaimer: In episode 26, I wrote: Last I knew, Disney resort themes don’t include a New York City tenement with balcony railings draped with skivvies and towels flapping in the wind, so please don’t make me stare at your laundry while I’m lying at the pool. TwinkieMama suggested to me that I should write a spoof about a new value resort themed like tenements. While I thought this would be funny, I decided a more humorous and ironic twist would be for the slum resort to be a deluxe resort. Could such a bizarre concept be created? Read on and see! I must also give credit to Lowell. We brain-stormed this spoof while driving last Sunday and he was firing off great ideas right and left! I was amazed. And here I thought I was the creative mind in the family! Even after nearly ten years together, I am still seeing new facets of Lowell’s personality.




Disney’s Grande Ghetto Resort


Disney announced today that plans are being drawn for a new deluxe category resort built in the style of multi-story brick tenement houses. It will be called the Grande Ghetto Resort . Market surveys showed that Disney travelers in the deluxe resort category wanted a modern day resort with a theme unlike anything they would encounter in real life. This seemed a challenging request, as travelers in upper income brackets can buy most any resort experience they desire. The Imagineers devised a thoroughly unique resort concept which is sure to appeal to the most jaded travelers. Deluxe resort guests at the Grande Ghetto Resort will be able to experience the opposite of their current socio-economic status while in a light-hearted, safe, and comfortable atmosphere.

As you pull up the resort drive the first thing you see is a car that has been stripped and abandoned by the side of the road which bears a sign: May We Recommend Our Valet Parking .

If you do not wish to valet park, follow the signs: Park at Your Own Risk to the Self-Park Lot. You will enter through a mosaic arch composed of rusted mufflers, alternators, hub caps, and various other auto parts.

Guests who opt for Valet Parking will continue to the porte cochere where they will be attacked by car jackers. The car jackers will open the front doors and demand that all occupants exit the car immediately. Please comply, and hand over your reservation confirmation papers or things could get ugly. Guests wishing to enhance the roll-playing experience may elect to resist briefly and be roughed up by the thugs. Run for the reception area doors when you have had enough excitement. For your convenience a First Aide Station is located just inside on your left. The car jackers will strip all luggage and valuables from your car and turn them over to Bell Services, who are dressed as homeless people. Bell/Homeless People will deliver your luggage to your room via over-sized shopping carts. Proceed to the Reception Desk.

At the Grande Ghetto Resort, no one will call you Sir or Ma’am. You will be greeted with, “Whazup?” Or “Whadya Want?” and will be referred to as Brotha, Sista, Homey, Sucker, Punk, etc. Roll with it. Your reservation will be processed, after which you will all be finger-printed and have your mug shots taken.

You will enter your guest room through a door pockmarked with bullet holes. Rooms at the Grande Ghetto resort are large and creatively appointed. You’ll find two queen size beds, a couch, a round table with four chairs and a large dresser with a wall mounted plasma TV above it. The furniture is good quality but none of it matches. Lamps, artwork and TVs etc. bear price stickers from the stores from which they were . . . appropriated. Matching bedspreads in bright colors have a few Hidden Mickey designs that resemble cigarette burn holes. Rooms have a spacious balcony with iron railings. Feel free to hang laundry and wet towels on the railings to dry as this enhances resort theming.


Guest room baths are seedily luxurious, sporting chipped marble tile walls and floors, a claw leg tub, vanity with dual sinks, and a painted metal shower stall decorated with Disney graffiti that reads: Mickey loves Minnie. Goofy was Here. Donald is a Quack. Stitch Stinks, etc.

Mousekeeping staff, attired as bag ladies, push bedding and supplies in grocery carts. You may elect to have your room cleaned and left neat and orderly, or alternatively, have the room cleaned and then ransacked for a more authentic atmosphere.

The buildings are equipped with iron fire escapes. On the railings of each landing Mickey’s underwear flaps in the breeze. His colorful T-shirts and boxers are a print fabric depicting assorted cheese wedges. Mickey says wedgie underwear is very comfortable.

The Grande Ghetto Resort has every amenity found at other Disney deluxe resorts. You will find a well stocked gift store called The Pawn Shop, where you can buy replica Mickey Cheese Wedge Underwear and other souvenirs and gift items.

The Resort boasts three on-site restaurants. For Grab-and-Go food-court type convenience there is Dumpster Dining . Glass topped chest freezers and refrigerated cases designed to look like dumpsters hold many selections of ice cream, dairy products, pre-made sandwiches, salads and drinks.

The mid-level restaurant is Guido’s Italian Family Restaurant. A variety of foods, with an emphasis on Italian cuisine is featured here. Guido’s motto is prominently displayed throughout the dining room: Clean Your Plate and Nobody Gets Hurt.

For a signature dining experience, you’ll enjoy the Ghetto’s fine dining establishment: The Soup Kitchen . The hostess will walk you through the Soup Line where you can view sample presentations of the items on the menu, then you will be seated in the dining room. Your gourmet meals will be brought out on trays and served on mismatched dinnerware.

The Grande Ghetto has a Club Level Concierge floor named The Welfare Department. When you enter the Welfare Department, Cast Members greet you to determine what social services you require. At the Employment Desk CMs make sure you employ your time wisely. They recommend shows and activities and make dinner reservations. If you do not need employment guidance, proceed to the Food Pantry Lounge and help yourself to daily donations, some of which have been prepared by the chefs at the Soup Kitchen.

Live music in the lobby is provided daily. Street performers wander in to sing and play saxophones, guitars and other instruments. They play their own repertoire of songs, or guests may make requests, from classical to Gangsta Rap. Please throw tips into the artists’ open instrument cases.

Groundskeepers, dressed as a construction crew, work around the clock to keep the resort tidy but squalid. They also maintain the pool areas. In addition to several quiet pools, the Grande Ghetto has a signature pool which features several uncapped fire hydrants spewing streams of water. This water runs into a metal sluice pipe which forms part of the water slide.

Near the pool you will find snack foods served from street vendor carts, and a pool bar named Molotov’s Cocktails. All drinks are served in bottles.

When you’re outside be on the alert for rival gangs. The East Side Mickeys and the West Side Donalds frequently engage in taunts and deny each other access to various parts of the resort. Duck Gang members have particularly vicious tempers and have been known to bite guests who interfere, so please watch from a safe distance and do not become involved.

At various times of day, you will find Cast Members on street corners selling Hot Items. These are popular items with deeply discounted prices. Offerings include select Trading Pins, Disney design jewelry, and/or Mickey Watches. Rest assured prices are a steal.

Remain on the lookout for muggers. Several times per day guests are mugged. Victims receive a colorful 12 ounce ceramic cup that reads: I was Mugged at Disney’s Grande Ghetto Resort.

On the day of your departure, you will receive a copy of your bill along with an Eviction Notice. Please call the front desk to schedule your eviction if you need Bell/Homeless People to throw your luggage from the room and wheel it to your vehicle in their shopping carts.

Disney says its new deluxe resort is for discriminating travelers who want "The Very Best of the Worst Life Has to Offer.”

 

[MommyPoppins]

It's great. Just what the hoity toity need.

A good dose of reality!

 

[Philadisney]

I WANT CHEESE WEDGIE UNDERWEAR!!!!!

 

[TwinkieMama]

Excellent job Kay and Lowell!

I was brainstorming clever ideas to post here but every single one was in your segment!

I was thinking of rival concierge levels where you sport your "colors" and run raids on the others "goods"...

but the welfare dept is priceless!

Maybe some smaller rooms designed to look like actual car interiors?

 

[MommyPoppins]

Last edited by TwinkieMama : Today at 12:00 PM. Reason: of course the mugs are refillable right?

Of course, but with cheese sauce. A goog source of calcium.

 

[2ScottishPrincesses]

Near the pool you will find snack foods served from street vendor carts, and a pool bar named Molotov’s Cocktails. All drinks are served in bottles.

]

LOVIN' IT KAY it sounds a little like some area's of Glasgow....but classier of course

 

[NAB]

I read it twice so I didn't miss anything this time....

The descriptions are so funny, you really are a great writer.

You didn't miss anything. Loved it.

 

[iluvsushi]

Yup, this segment has got to be one of your best yet. I thought about quoting favorite parts, but decided I'd just end up quoting the whole thing!

You and Lowell do make a great team. I have no idea which parts were his contribution, but the whole thing worked well together and was a great read.

Looking forward to the next upload, but hating the thought of this report ending.

-Iluvsushi