our secret green club? Part 4a

[pixie dust 112]

Ok since its the next day here is the joke of the day:

Think before you speak...
>>
>>
>>Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the last
>>one is great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
>>immediately take the words back...
>>or that you could crawl into a hole?
>>Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
>>
>>
>>FIRST TESTIMONY:
>>I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
>>asked
>>loudly,
>>"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
>>I turned around and walked back out and never went back
>>My husband didn't say a word...
>>he knew better.
>>
>>
>>SECOND TESTIMONY:
>>I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was

>>unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for
>>several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen

>>who works at the store.
>>He asked if he could help me.
>>Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing
with
>>men's balls"
>>
>>THIRD TESTIMONY:
>>My sister and I were at the mall and
>>passed by a store that sold a
>>variety of candy and nuts.
>>As we were looking at the display case,
>>the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
>>I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
>>My sister started to laugh hysterically.
>>The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
>>To this day,
>>my sister has never let me forget.
>>
>>
>>FOURTH TESTIMONY:
>>While in line at the bank one afternoon,
>>my toddler decided to release
>>some pent-up energy and ran amok.
>>I was finally able to grab hold of
>>her after receiving looks of disgust
>>and annoyance from other patrons.
>>I told her that if she did not start behaving
>>"right now" she would be punished.
>>To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
>>threatening,
>>"If you don't let me go right now,
>>I will tell Grandma that I saw you
>>kissing Daddy's ***-*** last night!"
>>The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
>>Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
>>I mustered up the last of my dignity and
>>walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
>>The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of

>>laughter.
>>
>>
>>FIFTH TESTIMONY:
>>Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
>>My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I
>>was
>>on him constantly.
>>One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands
>>It was very busy, with a full dining room.
>>While enjoying my taco,
>>I smelled something funny,
>>so of course I checked
>>my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.
>>The realized that Danny
>>had not asked to go potty in a while.
>>I asked him if he needed to go,
>>and he said "No".
>>I kept thinking
>>"Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes

>>with me."
>>Then I said,
>>"Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
>>"No," he replied
>>I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was
>>getting worse.
>>Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident ? This

>>time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
>>bent over, spread his cheeks
>>and yelled
>>"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
>>While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
>>he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
>>An old couple made me feel better,
>>thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
>>
>>
>>LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
>>This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
>>embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think
>>before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get
>>any! We had a female news anchor that,
>>the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
>>turned to the weatherman and asked:
>>"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
>>Not only did HE have to leave the set,
>>but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

 

[pixie dust 112]

In my family, the b-days were a week apart-2/17, 2/25, 3/2, 3/10, 3/17,all of us due 2/22, and then my oddball brother, 4/9. I counted back 9 months and found- my mom's b-day!

Was your Dad too cheap to buy her a present?

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

N Salz and I will come down to hold your hands next time. One on each side of ya!

Would that be considered a bear hug!?!?!?!?

I crack myself up!

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

My uncles are a year apart same day and a year and a half later came my aunt and a year and one day later came my mom!!!!! Makes you wonder!!

When I see trends like that-- siblings born in the same month like that I always wonder what occasion the parents might have been "celebrating" 9 mos prior!?!?!

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

In my family, the b-days were a week apart-2/17, 2/25, 3/2, 3/10, 3/17,all of us due 2/22, and then my oddball brother, 4/9. I counted back 9 months and found- my mom's b-day!

Did your dad even bother to get her a card to go with it?!?!?!

 

[rer1972]

Wow....ya'll have been quite chatty... I am too tired to try to catch up right now... so I will just say Hi to everyone!!!
And now I will head off to bed... have a great Wednesday all!!!

(oh...did you see me new tag???? It used to belong to Tigger&Belle! I think the tag fairy was drunk last night! )

Very nice.

 

[rer1972]

You are a bad influence....but funny!

Me a bad influence?!?!?! I could start my own secret mhpc club called the Angelic WMHPC Club. By the way the official color is Behr's Ultra Pure White.

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

Hey did I tell you all I found myself a theme song! Very exciting, I never had a theme song before. Next I guess I'll make shirts or something?!?!?

Its the song by Rodney Atkins

If you're going through Hell.

 

[crossfamily]

Ohhh! They're so nice ....I'll have to think about this and get back to you! I love the bonus tink necklace! Thanks!

THe tink is a charm for your antenna for your phone!!! Nothing but the best for my pd!!!!!

 

[crossfamily]

Tell Cyn we said Hello Y'all are still going to see her in January?

Yep she took a day off of work today and went to DL with her daughter. She was going to get me lots of goodies (maps and brochures) for my planning! I am so excited!

 

[crossfamily]

When I see trends like that-- siblings born in the same month like that I always wonder what occasion the parents might have been "celebrating" 9 mos prior!?!?!

Ok you got me thinking my uncles had to be valentines day and my mom and aunt what's at the end of september? Now my kids were souvineers from various vacations.

 

[Donald - my hero]

Hellllooooo out there? It seems kinda hollow. I go out for 2 hours and come home and find no-one has been here. Guess I am truly missed

 

[Donald - my hero]

Ok you got me thinking my uncles had to be valentines day and my mom and aunt what's at the end of september? Now my kids were souvineers from various vacations.

Our kids are souvineers of long drawn out months (in Ben's case) even years of hard work! Makes you luv them even more
Oh his parents were/are ticked that they are both "high holiday" babies. Ben 19th of December and Em 9th of March (easter was 2 weeks later)

 

[rer1972]

Just in time for Halloween; a scarier version of the 80's thriller. I'm just not sure if the girl in the video is frightened of the guy or his dancing skills.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSPvvVfcoAw

 

[pixie dust 112]

LizzY is a souvenir from a Disney vacation! . Our airline went out of business at midnight the night before we were scheduled to fly home....soooo what else was there to do but stock up on souvenirs?

No wonder she's such a Disney fan!

oooohhhhh, she's gonna love this post!

 

[crossfamily]

Just in time for Halloween; a scarier version of the 80's thriller. I'm just not sure if the girl in the video is frightened of the guy or his dancing skills.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSPvvVfcoAw

My guess is both! Shoot now I am gonna have night mares all night. Thanks.

 

[crossfamily]

LizzY is a souvenir from a Disney vacation! . Our airline went out of business at midnight the night before we were scheduled to fly home....soooo what else was there to do but stock up on souvenirs?

No wonder she'd such aDisney fan!

oooohhhhh, she's gonna love this post!

Anthony is a Florida baby but not Disney! He's a beach baby. No wonder he loves water so much!!

 

[AshAlytwins]

I would love to join your secret society....I am being flamed for taking the Alien Green Mickey heads on a thread that I started as a funny story to share.....geepers!!!

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

Ok you got me thinking my uncles had to be valentines day and my mom and aunt what's at the end of september? Now my kids were souvineers from various vacations.

Wouldn't it have been cheaper to get one of those little silver spoons or a postcard?!?!?!

 

[katlas&kids]

Quote:
Originally Posted by rer1972
Do ya dangle it in front of them while you talk to them so it feels like they're listening?

MMmmmmm, maybe

I can even make them nod yes or no by moving the food around.

I can do that with my kids with food or if I stand in front of the TV~! course they are restricted form it now. If I could just restrict hubby too...