Our disappointing "Travel With Family" story

[donald...really]

Thanks for all of the replies, everyone. I knew I could count on you to understand and make me feel better!

When I first read her email about arriving late on Sunday and leaving early on Wednesday my first reaction was to just cancel and tell her it didn't seem like the timing was right. But I really do enjoy spending time with her and her family so I know we will still have a good time for the few days we are there together. And I KNOW my husband and I will have a great time after they are gone (as I mentioned, we were able to switch Wed and Thurs nights to a studio and extend the trip until Sunday thanks to the lower points). I am just disappointed:

A) that they have no idea what a WONDERFUL time they are missing out on. Yes, we will have a good time, but not the great time that we had planned.

B) that they apparently would rather spend time with their friends on the way to WDW than with us, and that her youngest daughter would rather spend time with her friends in NY than with us, and that instead of shortening the trip the week AFTER our trip, they shortened the week with us which has been planned for a year.

And yes, I didn't go into details, but I explained that once you book DVC reservations you are committed to going at that time and can't cancel (I exaggerated this point a bit just to let make sure she was committed to the time). This is why we held off on making the reservations until they CONFIRMED that the time would work for them.

In my reply email, I simply told them that we were disappointed our time with them was being cut short, and that we were going to try and see if we could get a reservation in a smaller room for the Wed and Thurs nights that it would just be my husband and me because the BLT rooms were much too expensive. I wanted her to know that there is a cost involved in these rooms and they are not "free".

As for the trip, if they mention how hot or crowded it is in July we will say "Yes, we usually don't travel to WDW during the summer, but it was the time you suggested would work best for your family." And that we show them such a great time that they will be kicking themselves they decided to leave early.

Whatever happens, as I said, we will have a great time with them and an even better time after they are gone. I am really looking at the time after they leave as the real vacation and the time with them as the pre-vacation. The entire thing also helped to lower my expectations as to my time with them, which I think is a good thing. Who knows what they will say/do while they are there. Don't want to go to a park until noon? Fine, good luck with that. This restaurant is too expensive. Fine, go eat a burger. I'll let you know how it goes!

 

[BEASLYBOO]

But I really do enjoy spending time with her and her family so I know we will still have a good time for the few days we are there together. And I KNOW my husband and I will have a great time after they are gone (as I mentioned, we were able to switch Wed and Thurs nights to a studio and extend the trip until Sunday thanks to the lower points). I am just disappointed:

A) that they have no idea what a WONDERFUL time they are missing out on. Yes, we will have a good time, but not the great time that we had planned.


Whatever happens, as I said, we will have a great time with them and an even better time after they are gone. I am really looking at the time after they leave as the real vacation and the time with them as the pre-vacation. The entire thing also helped to lower my expectations as to my time with them, which I think is a good thing. Who knows what they will say/do while they are there. Don't want to go to a park until noon? Fine, good luck with that. This restaurant is too expensive. Fine, go eat a burger. I'll let you know how it goes!

Great attitude, I know you'll have a wonderful time! Even if it is stinking hot!

 

[dapod423]

This is my worst fear about my upcoming Jan '12 trip with my husband's family. I think someone will drop out last minute. I'm so sorry for you. But you sounds like you are going to make the best of it. Have a great trip!!!

Oh and your boys Weasley and Fester could be related to my boys Franklin and Winston!! Aren't Pugs the greatest???!!!

 

[rockydek]

I feel for you...We are heading down Saturday... We are only going in June ,as my brothers family is going with us and we waited for their kids to get out of school for the summer.
All I keep hearing my SIL say is
Its going to be so hot..Its going to be too hot!
Well we never go in June July or August. We are going to accommodate them.
We got them a place at VWL. We are staying at AKL.

I really like her ...so I ignore it.

 

[crisi]

Have a wonderful time with you cousin for the time she CAN give you. It may not live up to your initial expectations, but it might be an opportunity to do something completely different.

On the plus side, you won't be burdened with someone who doesn't have your Disney budget for the whole trip. It would be horrible for us to be saddled with people who couldn't afford dining out every night - its a big part of our trips as well. Park hopping is a big part of our trips as well - we LOVE the flexibility.

This way you get two days of cousin time - and if its not "Disney the way you like it" it is cousin time - and a vacation to enjoy the way you'd like (with the exception of the heat).

(Is it possible that she just didn't really think about the MONEY involved until it came down to the tickets and suddenly it was 'wow, this almost free vacation is going to set us back $1000+ - and it looks like we are going to be expected to spend a lot more on dining out than we want?' "I'm too broke to meet the committment I made to vacation" is a hard thing to say - sometimes people just look for a different excuse.)

 

[TheIncredibles!]

This is my worst fear about my upcoming Jan '12 trip with my husband's family. I think someone will drop out last minute. I'm so sorry for you. But you sounds like you are going to make the best of it. Have a great trip!!!

Oh and your boys Weasley and Fester could be related to my boys Franklin and Winston!! Aren't Pugs the greatest???!!!

My sister did that to me 3 weeks out!!!!!!!!! We had to scramble to waitlist ourselves into a 1 br so we did not lose the points and that only came through the night before we were leaving!

We have had wonderful trips with my brothers and their family. Not so good trips with my sister and her family. TERRIBLE trips with my in-laws and a SIL who wanted to go the most expensive time of the year(Easter) and complained when we wanted to only send them for a few days instead of the 9 days they wanted because it was more points than we had even spent on ourselves to date. Then she came home and complained about how small the room was and how uncomfortable the beds were.

We have learned very quickly who we will and will not travel with and that all future offers of rooms will have conditions spelled out. To date we have "gifted" rooms to all of our siblings and DH's parents so this next trip we are going solo. SIL is hinting at wanting to go next year and DH and I are playing stupid.

 

[papertraveller]

I fear that we are also in for this experience. We booked our offsite timeshare for Christmas, and traded into a three-bedroom to accommodate DSIL, DBIL, DN and her boyfriend. Yay, say I, and send details to everyone, including links to show the unit.

Then DN and her boyfriend decide they're not coming. They don't have any appreciation of the cost involved, or the fact that we got the larger unit to house them all.

We booked our car and flights a month ago, and sent all the details and info (and rationale for doing it so early). In no uncertain way did I emphasize, it's important to finalize this now because prices will only go up.

So far, DSIL and DBIL have not booked anything. I fear that they'll discover that decent deals on airfare can't be had, and they will bail on us. Then we're stuck with a 3BR for just three of us, and it will be too late to try to persuade friends to join us.

Lessons learned.

 

[horselover]

We are a much better person than me. I would have cancelled the trip if I could. All issues you're having is why we don't invite family to join us. I'm sorry it's not working out the way you had hoped & planned. I wish you a wonderful trip regardless of how it turns out for your cousin & her family.

 

[RevBob]

My wife and I spent one night alone in a 2Bdrm in AKL Jambo House because invited guests kept backing out, and we couldn't move to a 1Bdrm at SSR until the next night, (it was marathon weekend and everything was booked.)

 

[mopee3]

What a sad but interesting tale, and many here can tell it, it makes me glad we live on the west coast and have to fly to get there. Why you might ask, because when we are asked or ask others to go to DVC we always say..."When you buy the airplane ticket then we start the planning not an hour sooner".

Like some have mentioned until people invest in their vacation it is just a dream.. but a great one!!


Have a Magical Day!!

Moe

 

[disneynutz]

Been there, done, that, never again.

Just because someone is your relative or friend, doesn't mean that they will have the same likes or dis-likes as you. They probably won't appreciate all of your hard work, sacrifice, and cost to you and your family. Even though you are trying to do a good thing, it may be bad for your relationship.

I would cancel now and move on.

Bill

 

[dianeschlicht]

I might just talk with my cousin and make it clear that this trip doesn't seem to be working out for either of us. It would cost both of us too much to take a trip that has too many snags. I would say that the important thing is just to get together, and we should plan to do that a different way. (Could you meet someplace cheaply for a couple of days in July?)

That's assuming, of course, that it would work for you and your husband to cancel this trip and use your points for something you'd rather do.

Hope this works out for you. I know what you're going through. Paying a price for bending over backward to be nice sounds really familiar!

I think this is the best approach. It is the only way your cousin understands that you too have had an expense for this.

I would add, however, that they would NEVER be invited again. Once and done as far as I'm concerned. Inconvenience me once, shame on you....but you aren't getting the chance to inconvenience me again.

 

[kid-at-heart]

Good luck to you. I hope all turns out well and you enjoy your time with your family and the time with just yourselves after they leave. I think non-DVC family and friends are just unaware of the rules. Keep us posted if you are able to modify your reservation and save your points.

 

[a742246]

You did what I would have done . You are a good person, everything will work out for the better in the long run. You will have a great time, especially for the last two days and hopefully the first three days.

 

[Sammie]

I am sorry you had to learn this the hard way but honestly I figure the reports of extended families that make this work are the exception instead of the norm.

Once the "children" get older it gets harder and harder to make it work even for my immediate family, I can not even imagine involving other young adults.

Also I think and yours is probably a perfect example it is hard to do this, with two families on a very different budget.

Hope you can salvage some of it.

And please don't be too disappointed if they don't love it like you do. So many don't.

 

[Flyerfan]

Well the whole situation stinks. I can see my BIL and wife doing this same thing to us....reason why I don't even want to bring up the idea. We are, however, taking my other BIL this Nov....first time taking anyone. He's single so we only need a 1BR, which we book anyway.

I hope you make the best of it and have a great time. We went last July. It was hot and humid (I love it like that) but the crowds weren't bad.

 

[Chuck S]

I think this is the best approach. It is the only way your cousin understands that you too have had an expense for this.

I would add, however, that they would NEVER be invited again. Once and done as far as I'm concerned. Inconvenience me once, shame on you....but you aren't getting the chance to inconvenience me again.

100% agree. I have 2 people on my never, ever again list..they keep hinting, I keep telling them that we discussed this before I made the reservations the first time...sorry. I make it very, very clear before a reservation is made...ANY changes after the ressie is made, unless it is for an emergency, and you are not invited back.

 

[toniosmom]

My DS6 and I have taken all solo trips, except for one trip last year with my parents, DN19 and her BFF. It turned out well, although we hardly saw my niece and BFF because they are night owls and we do the parks in the mornings. I enjoyed having my parents with us.

This coming November we are doing a 3-day cruise on the Dream and then spending 3 days at WDW (BWV). My parents and two nieces are coming with us (20,10). My DS6 will be spending a lot of time with DN10 for sure, so he will be happy to have a friend to play with.

Having said all of that, I do not think I will extend any invitations beyond my parents for now. It is my parents who invited my nieces along (with my blessing) and they are paying for all of the tickets (park and airfare) for the four of them. I cover me and my son. I provide the accomodations and I know they will not cancel on me. I have extended invitations to a cousin, as well as some good friends. However, neither invitation was met with enthusiasm, the trips never materialized and I doubt I will invite again.

Frankly, we have a better time when it's just the two of us. We do what we want when we want to do it. We do almost everything spur of the moment and plan very little for our time there. Luckily, my son is very social and makes friends everywhere we go, so he doesn't need me to entertain him in the pool.

To the OP -- good luck with your trip. I hope you are able to enjoy your time both with your cousin and after they leave. Yes, it will be hot, so plan on some pool time and all will be fine.

 

[DizBub]

You know, sometimes stuff happens, especially when you must plan so far out. That said, it sounds a little like this group had "something better come along".

My brother had something similar happen to him, non DVC so it wasn't as dire but his generosity was stretched to the limit. Made all the plans, was going to pay for extended familys' room at CBR (w/ a decent pin code) and some of their tickets. Even was chipping in on their QS food plan. Other family backed out and it upset him so much he just cancelled the whole thing. He was really trying to "share the magic" with someone who couldn't afford to go any other way. He was so excited and then crushed.

 

[Kidanifan08]

The entire thing also helped to lower my expectations as to my time with them, which I think is a good thing. Who knows what they will say/do while they are there. Don't want to go to a park until noon? Fine, good luck with that. This restaurant is too expensive. Fine, go eat a burger. I'll let you know how it goes!

This IS a great attitude! It is unfortunate that invited family and friends don't get it. They are being offered an opportunity of a lifetime, and just don't know it. Three of our next 5 trips (through 2013) involve entertaining friends or family. Each situation is unique in how it will play out. We are taking friends this fall who think of our DVC membership as a classic timeshare -- "they own a 2BR for a week and it has to be used so we will show up whenever we want since it has to be used". Despite explaining to them that we choose the size accommodations based on occupancy. Their adult DD wants to come for a few days, but they would not commit to the specific days. So we told them that we were changing the reservation to a 1BR and their DD could come whenever she wanted and sleep on the floor. Suddenly, everyone was able to figure out when they were going to be there so we change the room to a 2BR while the friend's DD was there.

The other two will be complete opposites. My DW's sisters family will come through with flying colors (they bought their 10 day tickets on Saturday, before the price change) and my DB's family will probably screw things up because they can't plan anything more than a week in advance. It should be interesting.

It sounds like you have every intention of making this a great trip and it's awesome that you were able to change the reservations to extend your "alone time"!