Other Parents of Only Children?

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Well...it probably would have been easier for him to buy beer for his friends, since they'd all be 18 or 19 when he turned 21. Not to mention that whole "legal adult dating a minor" thing he'd have to be dealing with when he was an 18 year old in 10th grade with 15 year old girls.

Texas has some REALLY screwy laws with school attendance and age and so forth. The news just recently did a story on it. Public high schools can't deny enrollment to anyone under the age of 24, I think they said. It was some LUDICROUS age, I guess designed for drop outs who change their minds 6 or 8 years after the fact.

There is also apparently no maximum age for each grade. When DS was in 5th grade the guidance counselor said there were two 8th graders at the middle school who were SIXTEEN years old! How convenient to have your 8th grader DRIVE HIMSELF to school! So I guess once they turn 18 they can drop out, but until then they have to stay in whatever grade until they meet minimum passing standards? They really need to overhaul those regulations/laws/whatever because you should NOT be allowed stay in 8th grade until you age out of the system.

Of course the kids who are approaching middle age in public school are the ones who can't manage to pass their courses, not ones whose parents made them go to preschool for 6 years before they went to Kindergarten.

 

[PrincessMama605]

Add me to the list of parents with an only. My dd is 3, and I just don't see myself having another. For a while I thought I would have more kids, but the older she gets the more I dread the idea of going through pregnancy again and dealing with diapers and middle of the night feedings.
Sometimes I feel guilty that she doesn't have any siblings. I have a sister that I am very close to now, but we weren't always growing up. I'm glad I found this thread and I realize I am not the only one who worries about this.

When did you decide to be the parent of an only child?Well, now that her dad and I have split up (it's for the best), I am happy with our little family, just the two of us. I also think I am getting too old to deal with another child (I'll be 32 next week).
What is your favorite thing about being the parent of an only child? Everything is so much easier when you have an only. I love that I can focus all my time and energy on her. I look at my daughter sometimes and I feel like I could never love another child as much as I love her.
What is the hardest things about being the parent of an only child? My daughter is pretty independent, but sometimes I worry about her not having someone else to share things with, especially as she gets older.
What is your favorite thing about Disney with an only child? I can afford for us to go much more often than if I had to pay for twice the tickets, food, etc.
What is your least favorite thing about Disney with an only child? When I see other families with a bunch of cute kids all dressed alike, it makes me a little sad.
I am looking forward to my daughter getting older so we can ride the "scary" rides together.

 

[smurfy71]

When did you decide to be the parent of an only child?

The choice was made for us. We tried natural methods for 4 yrs with no luck then turned to science. My son was conceived via IVF. We tried for several years after for a second, only using natural methods as we could not afford IVF a second time. When my DW turned 38 we decided we were blessed with our one and I had the big V to prevent any unplanned pregnacy.

What is your favorite thing about being the parent of an only child?

Everything! My DS is my life. There are no fights about where we go, what we do, what show to watch.....

What is the hardest things about being the parent of an only child?

Trying to explain to my DS why he is an only child.

What is your favorite thing about Disney with an only child?

This will be our first trip. I am looking forward to spending quality time watching my DS enjoy every little thing there is at WDW.

What is your least favorite thing about Disney with an only child?

Can't think of a thing!

For some having an only child is a choice, for others it just happens that way. I am personally blessed to have the one child I do, I thank God every day for him, does this make me selfish?

To the original poster, don't let others judge you by how many children you have, or don't have. Do the best you can and love the child you have.

 

[RMulieri]

Here are my two cents. As an only child, I was spoiled as i grew up and am still a little spoiled today. I am also the only child on my mother's side as my aunt and uncle never had kids and my other uncle got married later in life. I'm a very independent person and am a homebody. I always wished I had siblings especially now as I grow up. It would be great to have that bond with someone as your parents get older.
My boyfriend is also an only child. We've been together for almost 5 years os we've talked about kids. We both agree that when we start a family we want more tahn one, whether we adopt or they are biological. I think that siblings add a lot to your life. I've had a great life but always wondered how it would've been different.

It is nice to hear that, but siblings don't always guarantee close knit relations.I have 2 brothers , one of which I have not talked to or seen in over 9 yrs this year, the other I see once a year..

 

[Melnzai]

When did you decide to be the parent of an only child? Infertility decided to choose us, so for right now my DS is our only child.

What is your favorite thing about being the parent of an only child? I do like that I only have to plan for one. There is no need to make sure two or more get dressed, eat breakfast, get to soccer, etc...

What is the hardest things about being the parent of an only child? It is lonely for all of us. He has to play by himself or bug us to play with him all the time. We don't mind playing, but you have to clean, cook, etc.. at some point

What is your favorite thing about Disney with an only child? We can do pretty much what he wants or we want and don't have to make too many compromises.

What is your least favorite thing about Disney with an only child? Again, it is lonely for him.

 

[Melnzai]

You know what they say about the grass always being greener...

Seriously though...thanks for the post. It's nice to hear your experience growing up. It gives me some things to keep in mind as I raise my only...As if I would ever admit to spoiling my son

As an only, I agree that the grass is always greener. I was not spoiled and I hate that not only do many people believe this, but that other only children spread such myths. The simple fact is that only children appear spoiled because their parents can offer more. There isn't anyone else to spread the resources around to, kwim? It isn't fair to generalize such things to only children.

Research actually shows that only children are highly independent and successful adults. Not only do they do well socially, but they tend to do better with higher education and job attainment. While I want more children and infertility forced a possible only child lifestyle on to my son, I also do believe that he will not be handicapped or limited by being an only child. There are times I worry what a sibling and less resources will do to create some harm for him.

 

[mom2aredhead]

As an only, I agree that the grass is always greener. I was not spoiled and I hate that not only do many people believe this, but that other only children spread such myths. The simple fact is that only children appear spoiled because their parents can offer more. There isn't anyone else to spread the resources around to, kwim? It isn't fair to generalize such things to only children.

Research actually shows that only children are highly independent and successful adults. Not only do they do well socially, but they tend to do better with higher education and job attainment. While I want more children and infertility forced a possible only child lifestyle on to my son, I also do believe that he will not be handicapped or limited by being an only child. There are times I worry what a sibling and less resources will do to create some harm for him.

Thanks!

 

[mom2aredhead]

Shameless bump for one of my favorite recent threads!!

Hope everyone's holidays were nice!

I definitely appreciated having only 1 child to buy for while I was shopping - that's for sure! Although with him being home all week and the weather being as cold as it is, I've been spending more time than I'll admit to playing with the toys that Santa brought to keep him company. But...I could think of worse ways to spend my days! We're getting together with some friends to play on Friday, so that'll be fun...another only, and the same age.

Hope everyone has a fun New Years Eve - we're taking my son for dinner and a movie (Bedtime Stories), then staying home the rest of the evening to watch everyone freeze their extremities off in Times Square. Brrrrr!

Lets try to keep this thread going!

 

[Emma's Dad]

When did you decide to be the parent of an only child?

Even before my DW and I got married, she flat out told me that she did not want any children and I had to be fine with it. I agreed with her, and did not expect or want children. However... 10 years into our marriage, she became pregnant (not expected) and we got excited! A month after DD was born, I went to the doc and got snipped.

What is your favorite thing about being the parent of an only child?

The quality time I get to spend with DD. She is a daddy's girl

What is the hardest things about being the parent of an only child?

Those moments when I simply want some alone time... and I can't say "go play with your brother/sister!".

What is your favorite thing about Disney with an only child?

We can do anything together and not have to worry about personality differences between siblings. I get to spoil her!

What is your least favorite thing about Disney with an only child?

Unless we bring someone her age or she meets someone while we are there, she has only us to play with.

BTW... today is DD's birthday! She turned 6 today!

 

[mejkjj97]

Happy New Years to All!!

Shameless bump for one of my favorite recent threads!!

I definitely appreciated having only 1 child to buy for while I was shopping - that's for sure!

Lets try to keep this thread going!

I had to laugh at this comment My DH and I said the same thing. Our house has been overtaken by DD christmas presents from us and family. We said could you have imagined if we had 2.

 

[TCups4Me]

This thread is very timely for me and I'm grateful for all the responses. After 2 miscarriages this year, dh and I are in the middle of deciding if we should continue trying. We love our life with ds1 and things seem so easy with him. However, dh and I both have siblings and worry about ds not having family when he's older. He has lots of cousins in town and that is a bonus. But cousins aren't siblings.

I think about things like trips to wdw and how much more fun it would be for him if he had someone to share it with. I like the comments from other posters about bringing a friend or cousin. And I'm so grateful for the posts from you only children that loved it!

 

[Kristineamb]

BTW... today is DD's birthday! She turned 6 today!

 

[mom2aredhead]

BTW... today is DD's birthday! She turned 6 today!

Happy birthday to her!!

And welcome to (i think) one of our only Dad's here on this thread!

 

[Emma's Dad]

Happy birthday to her!!

Thanks! Interestingly enough, she's a red-head!

And welcome to (i think) one of our only Dad's here on this thread!

Wow! I can't be the only dad... now I am going to have to read the whole thread If so... I am completely honored to be recognized

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Welcome, Emma's Dad!

Christmas was pretty low key for us. DS didn't want much. He asked for a Wii Fit, which he got. He also got some clothes but he didn't really want those. I think being an only child he gets whatever he asks for all year long, so by Christmas there was nothing left! And his birthday is in a few weeks.

For his birthday he is inviting 5 friends to spend the night at Great Wolf Lodge. We'll feed the boys pizza for dinner, have cake and snacks in the room, then do something CHEAP for breakfast, like send DH to pick up McDonald's or donuts or something. If we had more than one child we would be bankrupt doing stuff like that!

He hasn't been too bored over the break. He has a huge science project due when he goes back to school, and he hasn't even started the darn thing. That will keep him busy this weekend!

 

[Nie0214]

I'm not an only child, but my younger brother is 16, and I'm almost 23. I live in Maine and my entire family lives in Rhode Island. It kind of feels like I'm an only child sometimes since I haven't been living "at home" since I left for college years ago.

I will say that my mom has health problems (she is young) regarding her eyes and will probably be blind within the next 15 years. It is a sad way of looking at things, but I am glad that I have my brother to help me with taking care of her in the future.

This thread really interests me because I've never really wanted kids, but have grown to accept that I'd like one child when I grow-up , so I enjoy reading about your lives as single-child parents.

Happy New Year everyone!

 

[a1tinkfans]

Welcome, Emma's Dad!

Christmas was pretty low key for us. DS didn't want much. He asked for a Wii Fit, which he got. He also got some clothes but he didn't really want those. I think being an only child he gets whatever he asks for all year long, so by Christmas there was nothing left! And his birthday is in a few weeks.

For his birthday he is inviting 5 friends to spend the night at Great Wolf Lodge. We'll feed the boys pizza for dinner, have cake and snacks in the room, then do something CHEAP for breakfast, like send DH to pick up McDonald's or donuts or something. If we had more than one child we would be bankrupt doing stuff like that!

He hasn't been too bored over the break. He has a huge science project due when he goes back to school, and he hasn't even started the darn thing. That will keep him busy this weekend!

I can so relate to this.
I have a ds, just turned 15 sad2: way too fast for me)
Anyway, some may think he is spolied, but we have only him and we can afford more, so yeah, he got tons for Xmas (flat panel, surround system, ipod touch, and on and on, then a laptop and clothes for Bday) several days later.
We often "cover" the cost for his friends (though they are limited in number) and thats fine with us as they do not have it/$ sometimes. SO, rather than them not going, we just say, hey everyone how about XXXX and we cover it, everyone is happy!
They are just as nice to him in other ways (hanging at their homes, etc)
In the meantime, lets face it, he's a teen now, last trip to Disney was with extended family, his cousin is same age and they are close and now in HS together (first time since preschool) which is great for him.
For dh and I, wow, we got dumped but then realized, ya know what, he's grown up, matured, HAPPY and LUCKY to have a cousin his age. SO, We got some alone time this year and really really enjoyed that too!
We booked with them again for 09 trip and it makes his experience that much better. It is so fun being with extended family at meal times especially, we laughed so much it was crazy~!!
So, I still pray that my DS will have the strength to deal with the future when we are no longer here. And I also hope he will find someone very special, who will be there when he needs emotional support when we're not there to do it.
For now, we enjoy our family time and LOVE our family trips!

 

[chrisw127]

I'm not exactly answering your question, but I just wanted to add this. My son was 4 when we had our twins. We knew we wanted other children, but had some difficulties. The fact that we wanted more children made it even harder to hear all the negative things people say about only children. One thing I realized after the other two were born is how special it is to have an only child. I did not appreciate this when I was struggling to have #2 (and 3, as it turned out). You have lots of time and resources to devote to this child and the interaction between mom, dad, and the child is very unique and close.

I love having three kids, but to those who have one child, enjoy it. It is a very special relationship.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

a1tinkfans - This year we met up with some other DIS families who have kids DS's age and he had a lot of fun hanging out with them at WDW.
We don't have family with kids his age. My cousin has a DD a year older than DS but we have never been to WDW with them.

We actually don't like to travel in a group. I think that might be because DH is an only and I was an only for 10 years. We are kind of hermit-y. We have done 2 trips where another couple tagged along and I found it incredibly stressful. They recently said they are coming with us next year, too. I am waiting to see if they actually book a trip before I come unglued. If they do book a trip I will make it clear that we may be going to WDW at the same time, but we are NOT going together. BIG difference.

That's what is so nice about scheduling time with other DISers. We can meet up for some park time or a meal, and nobody is offended about NOT staying in a group. Traveling with friends or family tends to result in a lot of hurt feeling when people want to spend time without the other members of the group.

 

[Blueyed Girl]

Another parent to an only child checking in! I'm so glad you started this thread. I have read the responses and it has really made me feel good. We knew we were making the right choice for US but sometimes when people keep putting their 2 cents in, in makes it hard. We would never do something we didn't want to do just because people are hounding us but it gets very old hearing the comments.

When did you decide to be the parent of an only child?
I think we sort of knew all along that we only wanted one but we kept an open mind. We didn't have DS until I was 31 and he is now almost 5. So,there's the age thing for us. Plus, There were some issues during the pregnancy and birth that I wouldn't like going through again too. Mostly it's just because we sort of envisioned only one. DH was an only up to the age of 14. I have a sister and I will say that it's not the best relationship in the world nor has it ever been.

What is your favorite thing about being the parent of an only child?
I can devote most of my attention to him. I can be a stay at home mom. I volunteer a lot at his school. We can travel more frequently. We are creating a firm bond and relationship with him. We will have more money to spend on College since we are only spending it on one child.


What is the hardest things about being the parent of an only child?

Seeing him sort of down when there isn't anyone available to play with. We try to put his attention elsewhere during those times, though.

What is your favorite thing about Disney with an only child?

Less expensive so we can stay longer and in a nicer place. We can also sometimes take more than one trip in a year.

There is no bickering on what to do next or where to eat or who is first, etc.

What is your least favorite thing about Disney with an only child?

We're a little leary about letting him go on things like the pirate cruise all alone. If he had someone to go with I wouldn't be quite as terrified!! Perhaps these fears will change as he gets older.