Other Parents of Only Children?

[luvwdwfla2]

When did you decide to be the parent of an only child?
Pretty much after a rough pregnancy/delivery. Even with the complications we did think about another and have many long discussions about siblings. My husband made the point that a sibling does not mean they will be close.( we are not the closest with our siblings) A family is who you make it. Be it friends or your spouse.

What is your favorite thing about being the parent of an only child? Being able to do more special things with him which we could not do if we needed to pay for a large family
What is the hardest things about being the parent of an only child?
When he is bored and has no one to play with( and I am not in the mood to entertain)
What is your favorite thing about Disney with an only child? Heading down in May so I guess I will find out.
What is your least favorite thing about Disney with an only child?[/QUOTE]
I will guess being 3 people and one of us riding alone, obviously it will not be DS6

 

[oobidoo]

Good Morning!

I have a hard time finding other only children parents. Most people think I am off my rocker or just plain selfish. Especially since three is the new two, or so I have heard. And two is the new one.

I love the part about "three being the new two." I have been saying that for years. It seems like people around here are in a dire panic to squeeze out that #3 whether it's a good idea or not. I'm seriously thinking that a few of them are wishing, deep down, that that had thought that one through just a little bit more.

When did you decide to be the parent of an only child? Didn't really decide, it just worked out this way.

What is your favorite thing about being the parent of an only child? There are many great things, but one of my favorites is being able to have such a tight relationship with our daughter (14). She is not at all like most girls her age, and is still very happy to be with mom and dad. I think we have had more "talking" time to toss around conversation that might not be a priority if we didn't have so much quiet time. Quiet is my second favorite thing. I don't think much about it until I'm around the 5 nieces and nephews screaming, fighting, spitting, kicking, etc. pretty much the whole time they are awake. I love the peacefullness that we have with just us three.

What is the hardest things about being the parent of an only child? I sometimes wish she had "somebody" to play with, spend time with, etc. But then again, when I see other sibs, it seems like they are spending a lot of time fighting and arguing, so maybe that wouldn't be the answer either.

What is your favorite thing about Disney with an only child? It's just easy.

What is your least favorite thing about Disney with an only child? Not being an even number. We remedy this by traveling with our friends who also have one child. Our kids have been raised so close, they are almost like bro. and sis., and they get along great. They like the same kind of rides, so there is never any bickering about what to ride. We can switch up too. Kids can ride with dads or moms, with each other, sometimes moms want to do something together, sometimes the guys, sometimes the girls. It works out great for all of us.

 

[labdogs42]

We actually don't like to travel in a group. I think that might be because DH is an only and I was an only for 10 years. We are kind of hermit-y.

LOL. We are kind of hermit-y, too! That's hysterical! I'm actually thrilled that DS and I will be home together for the next two days. We probably won't even leave the house and that will be fine with us! Yeah, hermits!

 

[Poohbug]

First off, I have to say that I always planned to have more than one child, and I do. I am one of 5 and could not imagine not having brothers and sisters.

That being said, after I had my first baby and realized how much time and work goes into raising a child, I fully respect anyone's decision to just have one.

Everyone gets to make their own decision. We don't all have to follow a "normal" blueprint.

Enjoy your only children and ignore all the ignorant comments about having more.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

LOL. We are kind of hermit-y, too! That's hysterical! I'm actually thrilled that DS and I will be home together for the next two days. We probably won't even leave the house and that will be fine with us! Yeah, hermits!

I love days where we don't have to leave the house!
More often than not, DS will say he wants to stay home if I am going to the store or something.
DH & I would much rather meet our friends out somewhere than invite them over, and DS is the same way.

The first time we went on a trip with friends I thought it was a fabulous idea. Now I know better. We like to be in our little core group of 3 and just spend time sporadically with friends when we travel. I am very outgoing and will talk to ANYONE, but when I have had enough socializing I like to retreat to the peace of just DH and DS.

 

[richmond282]

Yea! More people who are like me; people who don't think I'm crazy for only having 1 child.

When did you decide to be the parent of an only child? We had fertility issues as well. Coupled w/ a rough delivery and a very tough time w/ our newborn, I just don't think I could go through all that again. So we decided when our DD was just an infant that this was it.

What is your favorite thing about being the parent of an only child? How close my relationship is w/ my DD.

What is the hardest things about being the parent of an only child? Knowing how lonely and bored my daughter gets all by herself. She has no one but me and her daddy to entertain her.

What is your favorite thing about Disney with an only child? We were able to make it a special experience just for her. We chose activites that we knew she would LOVE.

What is your least favorite thing about Disney with an only child? Again, she is all by herself. Some things (like rides) are more fun w/ a peer.

 

[NattysMom]

When did you decide to be the parent of an only child? I have never had the desire for a second since the day she was born. I had post-partum depression like a few of the other Moms on this thread. It was very hard for me and I can't imagine going through that again. I'm also an anxious person and I like to avoid stress and chaos. I feel like having one works for me and my personality! (I also love to sleep through the night! )

What is your favorite thing about being the parent of an only child? I can focus on her and be involved in her life.

What is the hardest things about being the parent of an only child? Being a playmate all the time. I try to make sure she has ample social outlets but when we're at home there's no one else to play zingo with! Also, I am a little sad that she doesn't have cousins. I am very conscious of having her not be spoiled and for her to be grateful for what she has so sometimes since she is the center of attention by default (no other kids to share the family limelight) it is difficult.

What is your favorite thing about Disney with an only child? Our first trip is coming up shortly. I am beyond excited!!!

What is your least favorite thing about Disney with an only child? From reading this thread it looks like not being able to all sit in one car will be a downer.

 

[thymed]

When did you decide to be the parent of an only child?
It wasn't a totally concious decision but it ended up that way as we got caught up in our son's life.

What is your favorite thing about being the parent of an only child?
Being able to focus all the love, attention, money etc on him. We (DH and I)have a great relationship with him. We love to hang out together and we do enjoy our home time as much as anything!

What is the hardest things about being the parent of an only child?
I worry about dying and him not having any close relatives to care for him if we are not around. It is also hard when he wishes to have a friend to kick around with and I now a sibling would have been great for this.

What is your favorite thing about Disney with an only child? We do everything together and see it all through his eyes!!

What is your least favorite thing about Disney with an only child? I wish at times that he had someone his own age to enjoy the experience too, as much fun as we have as a family it would also be totally cool for him to enjoy WDW with a friend (which is why we have made arrangements to travel with a friend this summer)

 

[autumnsmommy]

When did you decide to be the parent of an only child?
After I miscarried twins 2 years before DD was born. I had 7 months of throwing up and 2 months of bed rest.. and I was 35 when she came.
What is your favorite thing about being the parent of an only child?
"Mommy, you're my best friend", and being able to give her what I didn't have growing up. There was me and my sister, and Dad remarried and SM brought 3 more kids into the family. I have had brown beans and cornbread for dinner too many times. I will not eat brown beans again unless they are the last food on the planet.
What is the hardest things about being the parent of an only child?
No siblings, so it's falling on to me most of the time. Sometimes I need room to breathe. I get home from work and need a moment to go to the bathroom in peace and I rarely get it. "I want someone to play with"...or her thinking that my sister should give us her newborn, since they have a boy and girl already, and that would make us even.
What is your favorite thing about Disney with an only child?
not having to decide what to do, where to go, we can go where we want to...and it's cheaper.
What is your least favorite thing about Disney with an only child?
DH is disabled, so I take DD by herself. No relief for mom, but DD does park commando pretty well.

I will add that people at work assume she is spoiled since she is an only. She does have a lot of things, but since I don't have to buy for multiple kids, I can afford more than if I had to spread the $ around..... So maybe she is spoiled, but is very well behaved. A spoiled non-brat, as it were.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

I think Autumnsmommy brings up a good point. Our kids can have lots of possessions and still be caring, thoughtful, generous people.

I am a professional nanny, so I am very serious about appropriate behavior and manners. DS is well behaved and polite. He does have the occasional teen outburst, but he saves those for us.

 

[MomofKatie]

When did you decide to be the parent of an only child?
What is your favorite thing about being the parent of an only child?
What is the hardest things about being the parent of an only child?
What is your favorite thing about Disney with an only child?
What is your least favorite thing about Disney with an only child?


We had DD when we were both 32, after 7 years of a childless marriage. We pretty much always knew we wanted 1, but were open to having a second if that's what happened. When DD was almost 4, I found out I was pregnant again. I wasn't real thrilled, but DH was. I guess it wasn't meant to be, though, because I miscarried very early- only a week after I found out I was expecting. After that, we decided to keep our little family the size it was. I was in my late 30's, and DD was getting older, too- we just felt the baby "ship" had sailed, and we were OK with being "left on the dock".

I think the best thing for us about only having one is the amount of time we can spend with her. We can focus on her- our time, our finances, and our attention. She seems like more of an equal partner in our lives, if that is a good description. She is just an awesome kid, and we really enjoy being able to spend so much time with her. Financially, it is easier having only 1- we don't have to split up our money on 2 college funds, etc.

The obvious con of having an "only" is that she has no other kids to interact with at home. Sure, she has school friends and friends around the neighborhood, but she spends a lot of her time without the companionship of another kid. We also kind of feel bad about her later life- no siblings to be aunts & uncles to her kids, no nieces or nephews (unless she marries someone with siblings). She will be the only one to deal with us when we are grumpy old folks, too! The other big con is that every milestone is so bittersweet. We know that we'll never get to relive anything with another child- not first steps, first sleeping in a big kid bed, first day of school, first boyfriend, nothing. It makes us really apprecitae all the little things and try to live in the moment.

Disney with DD is awesome!! We don't have to cater to a bunch of kids- she is really fun and adventurous. We don't have to worry about who to seat where- most rides seat 3 across the row. We can do more sit-down meals because we aren't spending as much with just 1 child (we can do more of everything, since we only have to pay for 3 instead of 4 or more). It is really easy to keep track of her- there are 2 adults to watch out for 1 child. DD and I also like to take Mom/Daughter trips- so fun with just us 2 girls.

I really can't think of something bad about doing Disney with an only child. It's all good!!

Overall, I wouldn't change a thing- we are a happy family of 3.

 

[GreyGooseCosmo]

I had intended to be the mother of an only child, and it looked like it would always be that way after my ex and I divorced when she was a year old. However, the love of my life came into my life as a custodial father to a 4-year-old girl.

Everyone keeps asking when we'll have "one of our own", and I look at them like they have three heads.

It took me nearly 5 years to recover from having my DD, professionally speaking. We're in a great place as a family, where we can afford to travel and do lots of things. I can give my girls the best of everything, but if I add more people into our family budget, we'll have to make cutbacks.

Plus - I am selfish. I like my sleep ... a newborn will definitely cut into that!

 

[CantWaitToGo2007]

Another single parent of an only child checking in. He's my only child, but does have 2 younger half brothers (his dad's second wife) and a younger step brother and step sister (dad's current wife). But for the most part he is an only child, he only gets to see his brothers every 4-5 years


When did you decide to be the parent of an only child?
I never wanted any children. I wanted to be an accountant and travel the world. What did I know, I was 20 Someone had other plans for me though. Most days I love being a mom (I'm sure I'm not the only one who would like a time out now and then) and wouldn't trade my son for anything in the world, he's made me into the person I am today.

What is your favorite thing about being the parent of an only child?
I don't have to pick which child's activity I get to go to and whose I have to skip if they happen to fall on the same day. I love being able to just grab the keys and go for a day trip with ds. I hand him a map of western washington and tell him to pick a place. It's so much fun.

What is the hardest things about being the parent of an only child?
It's not so hard anymore, but when he was younger that was the hard part. You can only play Thomas the tank engine so many times before you go crazy.

What is your favorite thing about Disney with an only child?
There is no fighting about who sits with who. We can do all the things he wants to do

What is your least favorite thing about Disney with an only child?
I don't have a least favorite thing. I didn't get to do all the things I wanted to do at Disney, but that was more his age than the fact that he is an only child.

 

[Hmom]

Thanks to RandiB for starting this great thread!

My maternal instincts never really kicked in until my late 20s. Until then, I really had no interest in having a child. When DH & I got married, I told him that I would try 1 & see how it went Well, I am a horrible pregnant person. My DH is a saint for putting up with & taking care of me during those months - general yuckiness & some medical complications. I don't think either of us could do it again, especially with the addition of DS to the mix. Add to that the fact that I turn 40 on Sunday

We took DS to WDW for the first time this year. It was simply magical. He had his 5th birthday while we were there. In the future we MIGHT take a friend along or vacation with friends, but for now the 3 of us are great company. This is a big might because I've done the stress filled extended family vacations & don't want to go there again

Like others have mentioned, I worry about him socializing with kids his own age. But, mainly in the area of sticking up for himself. He just doesn't seem to get it when another kid roughly grabs something or physically pushes to get ahead. He sort of looks at them quizically. He doesn't have the need to function that way at home. Please don't be mistaken, I don't want him to be a bully, but I want him to be able to stand up for himself. Any advice?

Happy New Year to all!

 

[3_disprincesses]

I am the mom of two "only childs"! I have a 17 year old and a soon to be 5 year old. I have been a single mother twice - both marriages ended in divorce. I knew as my oldest daughter was growing up there would eventually be many challenges for her as I grow older. If something happened to me, who would help her with my care and the decision making? That is probably one of the biggest reasons I wanted another child. I also wanted her to have more family to grow up and older with. She will now have nieces/nephews and a younger sister to share her life with long after I'm gone. Even though there are 12 and 1/2 years between my girls, they are very close and enjoy doing things together.

I have taken each girl to WDW seperately. My oldest and I have been 4 times together - great time for just her and Mom! The little one went for the 1st time just a few months ago. Again, it was just her and Mom. Each one had my complete and undivided attention. Each trip was customized for each child. I guess it would be a little different if they were closer in age and I took them at the same time. I would never dream of taking the two of them on the trip together at these ages.

Yes it was easier when I just had one child and starting over with a new baby at 40 was pretty overwhelming. But you know...30 years ago I would have given my sister to the first person who would take her...But now I don't know how I would go on without her!

 

[hugastar]

We are the parents of our only 5 year old. We wanted one more, but it just didn't happen.

Life is less stressful, especially financialy. We are able to afford so many things for her, and she doesn't have to share it with anyone if she doesn't want too.

She's very social and outgoing, very animated and very inteligent. I try hard to make sure she has some playdates, but its very hard to always be begging parents to allow their child to play with my child. Kids need to be with kids and to be around other kids. Being the only entertainer and playboddy can sometimes take its toll. I thing parents of more than one kid just don't get it.

One of our vacations last year was to Disney and we'll be going for spring break this year. We loved it. All of it!

 

[nursehackett]

When did you decide to be the parent of an only child?
For us it is not a decision that we made. We had a second child in March of 2007 and 16 days after we were born my family was in a car accident and our daughter died. My mother also died in that car accident. Since that time we have been focusing on our other daughter and doing the best that we can for her.

What is your favorite thing about being the parent of an only child?
I love being able to to spend all of my free time with her and not have to worry about how I am going to split my time.

What is the hardest things about being the parent of an only child?
Her qeustions about when she might have another sissy.

What is your favorite thing about Disney with an only child?
I don't know yet because May of 09 will be our first trip. I imagine that it will be the flexibility to allow her to do all of the "extras" that we may not have been able to with more than one child.

What is your least favorite thing about Disney with an only child?
Um, probably her not having anyone to share her excitement with.

 

[mom2aredhead]

When did you decide to be the parent of an only child?
For us it is not a decision that we made. We had a second child in March of 2007 and 16 days after we were born my family was in a car accident and our daughter died. My mother also died in that car accident. Since that time we have been focusing on our other daughter and doing the best that we can for her.

What is your favorite thing about being the parent of an only child?
I love being able to to spend all of my free time with her and not have to worry about how I am going to split my time.

What is the hardest things about being the parent of an only child?
Her qeustions about when she might have another sissy.

What is your favorite thing about Disney with an only child?
I don't know yet because May of 09 will be our first trip. I imagine that it will be the flexibility to allow her to do all of the "extras" that we may not have been able to with more than one child.

What is your least favorite thing about Disney with an only child?
Um, probably her not having anyone to share her excitement with.

 

[TravelinGal]

When did you decide to be the parent of an only child?

I didn't. My body decided it for me. We spent 10 years dealing with infertility. When we finally were blessed with DS I was 38 (turned 39 less than 2 months after he was born) and we realized didn't have the time and money to spend on further fertility treatments.

What is your favorite thing about being the parent of an only child?

Just the sheer joy of being blessed with a child. I have always seen myself being a mom. I couldn't imagine that not being fulfilled.

What is the hardest things about being the parent of an only child?

The unfulfilled desire for a second child. I always saw myself with 2 kids.

What is your favorite thing about Disney with an only child?

I guess that there is more money to spend.

What is your least favorite thing about Disney with an only child?

Wondering what it would be like to share with another child.


Because of our ages now (I just turned 43 and DH is almost 51) we do not qualify for the majority of countries that do adoptions and the few we might qualify for turn us away because of our weight. Domestically, we realize some pregnant teen isn't going to choose us over young perky "Ken and Barbie" when they look at all the listings of people who want to adopt.
We are looking into becoming involved with the foster system with the goal to adopt a little girl to complete our family.

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

Hi there!

I just found this thread because I don't come over to the Families board very often. I'm the mother of an only too and I get the STRANGEST looks when I tell people yes he's an only child and NO we don't plan on having any more.

I have known since high school (or maybe even before) that I only wanted boys and I feel very, very lucky to have gotten what I wanted on the first go-round. So I don't feel the need to roll that dice again.

DS also has issues--he has SPD and has had some speech as well as motor delays (both gross and fine). I have my hands full sometimes dealing with his particular problems and I don't know if I could handle two kids with the same issues. It would be easier in some ways, but also more difficult. And it's just not a challenge I choose to take on.

I don't understand why people (esp random strangers) feel the need to tell me that my DS needs a brother or sister. He seems to be doing just fine without one and it's not a requirement that every couple have 2 or more children. I've gotten a lot of flak from my mom about only having one, that I need to have one more, that we need to try for a girl. Uh..no. I only want boys. Why is that so hard to understand?