OT~ Would this bother you? alittle venting here

[dogluva]

Ok sorry, you are right...that was not a nice thing to say.

Although the level of respect I have for someone does drop dramatically when I learn someone smokes. It is just soooooo disgusting.

Well my level of respect drops when someone judges someone before they even really know them.

 

[wilderness01]

Yes, that would have bothered me as well. I would not have been happy and would never let them in the car again.

 

[Pirates4me]

I ask all parents that my kids have contact with if they or somebody in the house smoke. I don't think it's rude, I call it being a parent. I can't control if someone smokes but I can control where my kids go. Luckily we don't have any friends whom I would trusst my kids with that smoke. Tell your husband that you are not overacting, just looking out for your kids. I agree that the aunt coould have waited that short time to light up.

 

[DVCJones]

I can't believe that this is even a discussion!!!

People shouldn't smoke. (period!!!)

We all know it is bad for everyones health.

Smoking near or around children should be considered child abuse.
You wouldn't give your child alcohol or drugs...why would you allow them to breath is second hand smoke, especially knowing how harmful it is!!

a little OT, I once saw a pregnant women smoking outside of Babies R Us. It took all I had not to say something.

 

[js]

My ds, who is 9, gets migraines and cig. smoke is also one of the triggers.
My dd-13, may not have said anything and even though it can knock my son out, I am not certain he would tell an adult not to light up. So yes, if my son didn't speak up, I would have to impress on him his health is important and he needs to speak up for himself, but I would still be quite annoyed at the aunt, although I probably wouldn't say anything unless she was taking the kids again. If she took them again, I would have to ask her not to smoke in the car even though she was taking my kids and doing me a favor.

 

[jodifla]

I can't believe how think skinned people are these days.


It's no big deal that she smoked for 10 minutes in a car with kids.

All these high and might nonsmokers would have lost their minds in my 1960s Tampa neighborhood. Everyone smoked....even around the children!

 

[SusanMomOf2]

It would not have bothered me because she was doing a favor. She probably didn't have any sense to postpone. She has a habit - and well, a habit is to do it when you are accustomed to which is usually in the car for some people. I don't think she meant to be rude. If it happens again that someone has to take your kids anywhere, ask them that if they smoke to please not do it around your kids.

 

[BayouMouseketeer]

I totally understand your feelings. Unfortunately, since it is her car, she has the right to smoke in it. Both of my kids are asthmatic and I do not allow them around smoke at all, for any reason. So, if I had known the neighbor's aunt to be a smoker, I would not have allowed them to ride with her. I'm guessing this was a surprise to you, though. I would be upset, also, but I think you were wise in not saying anything to her about it. I know it sounds extreme, but I would keep my kids home from school before allowing them to ride with a smoker. Yes, I know they won't get cancer in ten minutes, but they could have an asthma attack and that can turn serious quickly!

 

[livie1205]

lowlife? for smoking? really wow...my dh is a smoker (trying to quit though) and he is the farthest thing from a lowlife that i could think of..
as a matter of fact,risks his life every day to protect people from REAL lowlifes like rapists, murderers...child molesters, wife beaters ect...I think some people have become so high and mighty that they forget everyone is not perfect.My dh would love to not be a smoker and is trying hard not to be,does he smoke in the car? no not even when the kids are not in it but if you want to keep the kids away from smoke keep them home if that is your only choice.no one shuld smoke with kids in the car but like i said no one is perfect.

 

[tlbwriter]

All these high and might nonsmokers would have lost their minds in my 1960s Tampa neighborhood. Everyone smoked....even around the children!

Yes, back in the good old days, when everything was perfect and we all rode to school on rainbow-colored unicorns... And they didn't use carseats, and their houses were painted with lead paint, and it was legal to drink and drive, and some schools were still segregated, and everybody smoked everywhere. What a wonderful time that was!

Anyway, back to the OP... I would have been annoyed as well. I don't think you're overreacting, because you're simply venting here instead of saying something to her.

 

[ampc3]

Yes, back in the good old days, when everything was perfect and we all rode to school on rainbow-colored unicorns... And they didn't use carseats, and their houses were painted with lead paint, and it was legal to drink and drive, and some schools were still segregated, and everybody smoked everywhere. What a wonderful time that was!

Anyway, back to the OP... I would have been annoyed as well. I don't think you're overreacting, because you're simply venting here instead of saying something to her.

Yes, Thank you very true
There are certainly bigger issues in our lives to be ticked off about that is for sure, however it just totally caught me off guard.

 

[NemoMOm]

I would be upset but I'd let it go. I would not have my children ride with her again.

 

[jodifla]

Yes, back in the good old days, when everything was perfect and we all rode to school on rainbow-colored unicorns... And they didn't use carseats, and their houses were painted with lead paint, and it was legal to drink and drive, and some schools were still segregated, and everybody smoked everywhere. What a wonderful time that was!

.

Actually, there was a lot to commend those days. Particularly the part where parents didn't make a federal case out of everything.

 

[Andy B]

everybody keeps saying "what a favor she did for me" first off , she called me in the am to take HER dd to school b/c SHE missed the bus. So yes she did end up doing the favor but only b/c HER dd needed to get to school too. I could have called and SHOULD have called others to do ME the favor, but just sent my kids with her. LESSON LEARNED... And yes it was only 10 min that is my point! SHE couldn't go 10 min without lighting up in front of the kids!

Am I the only one getting confused, in the OP you seem to say it was the neighbours girls Aunt which took them and yet here they are her children.

 

[DisneyPhD]

I would be upset but I'd let it go. I would not have my children ride with her again.

I would be upset too, more then likely more upset then you are.

My kids would not be riding in a car with her again, even in an emergency. I have zero tolerance for smoking and if her judgment was good enough to not smoke with kids in a car, that makes me question her judgment in general.

 

[dogluva]

Actually, there was a lot to commend those days. Particularly the part where parents didn't make a federal case out of everything.

This is so true, including myself. My mother is always saying "How come we didn't worry about that when you kisd were growing up?". Well it is a different world now a days!

And your right, parents do make federal cases out of everthing (I am guilty at times myself). However, like others have said, the op is only venting.

 

[krcit]

First let me say, I am not a smoker, have never been a smoker and absolutely detest smoke. I would use this a s a leraning experience for your children. Discuss it with them that if someone asks them 'Mind if I smoke?', they can politely say" Would you mind waiting until I'm gone-cigarette smoking really bothers me.' I don't think that some people that smoke realize how much smoke bothers others. I don't think they are purposely being rude or abusive as some say. I just think that it is such a big part of their lives that they don't even think much about it and don't realize that it's offensive to many people.

 

[DisneyPhD]

First let me say, I am not a smoker, have never been a smoker and absolutely detest smoke. I would use this a s a leraning experience for your children. Discuss it with them that if someone asks them 'Mind if I smoke?', they can politely say" Would you mind waiting until I'm gone-cigarette smoking really bothers me.' I don't think that some people that smoke realize how much smoke bothers others. I don't think they are purposely being rude or abusive as some say. I just think that it is such a big part of their lives that they don't even think much about it and don't realize that it's offensive to many people.

I think this is a good way of handling it, but I still would have been bothered by it. If I knew the person well I think I would say something, if not I would just let it go and not have the kids ride with her again.

 

[tlbwriter]

You know, the fact that the woman even asked shows that she knew it could be inappropriate. If there was absolutely nothing wrong with smoking in your own car, she wouldn't have bothered to ask.

 

[MrsJ Henry]

For some reason I have a bigger issue with the fact that she Asked the children!!! I mean, Come on, really what did she think the kids were going to say????
She is the adult and should know better.

I would NOT like someone smoking in a car with my daughter but would think they were really off their rocker to ask if she minded.

I would use this to maybe talk to your child about feeling comfortable ina situation like this to say it bothers her and how to deal with situations like this. You can't go back in time but you could use this as a teaching tool maybe.