OT~ Would this bother you? alittle venting here

[ZPT1022]

Yes, back in the good old days, when everything was perfect and we all rode to school on rainbow-colored unicorns... And they didn't use carseats, and their houses were painted with lead paint, and it was legal to drink and drive, and some schools were still segregated, and everybody smoked everywhere. What a wonderful time that was!

Anyway, back to the OP... I would have been annoyed as well. I don't think you're overreacting, because you're simply venting here instead of saying something to her.

OMG, rainbow colored unicorns


Sorry... back on topic. I would have been upset but seeing how it was a one time thing I don't think I would say anything, but I sure would vent about it. When my husband got sick of me saying "Holy crap, I can't believe she did that" I would probably vent to friends too. I do think it's a sad statement that she couldn't even wait 10 minutes to not smoke around the kids

 

[fey_spirit]

You know, you're ticked off... I get that.
I even get why, you're ticked off.
Because frankly I can see both sides of the tale...

What I don't get is why you posted on a message board asking if people thought you were overreacting when all you really wanted was for folks to agree with you. If you ask a question and people answer that question honestly - don't get mad at them for answering your question, that just isn't right.

everybody keeps saying "what a favor she did for me" first off , she called me in the am to take HER dd to school b/c SHE missed the bus. So yes she did end up doing the favor but only b/c HER dd needed to get to school too. I could have called and SHOULD have called others to do ME the favor, but just sent my kids with her. LESSON LEARNED... And yes it was only 10 min that is my point! SHE couldn't go 10 min without lighting up in front of the kids!

 

[ampc3]

actually the title of this thread was "would this bother you?"
I said up front that I was maybe over reacting.
No where did I ever ask anyone's opinion if they thought I WAS over reacting!
Now yes many people said I was, and many said I wasn't! I was simply venting and ASKING if it would have bothered you plain and simple the end.

 

[fey_spirit]

The point really doesn't change - you got mad at them for stating their opinion because it didn't join with your own... you still asked a question that solicited opinions... my point remains.

actually the title of this thread was "would this bother you?"
I said up front that I was maybe over reacting.
No where did I ever ask anyone's opinion if they thought I WAS over reacting!
Now yes many people said I was, and many said I wasn't! I was simply venting and ASKING if it would have bothered you plain and simple the end.

 

[ampc3]

I guess I missed where I got mad at someone?? Just b/c I WROTE in big BOLD letters??
I won't write in big or bold letters anymore, thank you for pointing out my mistake to me!

 

[fey_spirit]

Or hey - maybe it was the sarcasm and biting attitude?
Ever considered anger management?

I guess I missed where I got mad at someone?? Just b/c I WROTE in big BOLD letters??
I won't write in big or bold letters anymore, thank you for pointing out my mistake to me!

 

[ampc3]

Gee there is no attitude coming from you here. And yes anger management classes are a great idea,thank you so much. I'll look into that tomorrow.

 

[Keeva]

You know,I really love it when people think they are so much better than others if they don't smoke.Are you people that think smokers are low life's perfect? Are you over weight? Do you only eat healthy food and drink? Get exactly the correct amount of sleep? Pay all of your bills on time? Are never late for appointments ?Go to work and support yourselfs and not ever take any money to help out from Parents,etc?Go to Church,have the perfect job,family,etc.Never say anything wrong?Are always putting the other person first?Never do anything wrong?If so I would like to meet you.It would be the first time in 50 years that I could say I had met a PERFECT person.Please don't judge others,just live in your little perfect world ,in your on little bubble,an let the other low lifes around you all die off.We are all different but we are all human and don't live perfect lives,and the world never will be perfect. Please don't judge others until You are perfect and never do or say anything wrong.Then you can appoint yourself a Judge over others.I hope you have a very perfect day!

 

[LilBlackSheep]

Then I was like yes, I guess that was nice she asked them if they minded, but my kids said they had no idea how to answer b/c they didn't want to be rude!

How is it being rude if your children answer honestly? If they didn't want her to smoke, they should have spoken up.

What adult asks a child if they mind if they smoke? If she is asking isn't that b/c she knows somewhere that this is wrong to do?

At least she asked. Wrong thing to do??? What's wrong to you, may not be wrong to her.

Like I said I probably am over reacting, this was a one time thing for her to drive them. I didn't nor will I say something, but it just sortof erked me!
Would this have botherd you?

I think you are. Life's too short to let a one time thing erk you and get all stewed up inside over it.

 

[ampc3]

smoking in front of children isn't wrong??
and imply that my 8 and 6 year should tell some lady to not smoke in front of them? and b/c they didn't they are at fault!
wow

 

[LilBlackSheep]

smoking in front of children isn't wrong??
and imply that my 8 and 6 year should tell some lady to not smoke in front of them? and b/c they didn't they are at fault!
wow

That's why I wrote what's wrong to you, may not be wrong to her. We all have different opinions. You have yours and others have theirs. You can't expect others to always agree with yours.

Yes, I am implying that your children should have spoken up. She asked a question, why couldn't they answer.

Go back and read my post. I didn't say they were at fault. I only said that they should have spoken up. If they did, she wouldn't have smoked in front of them and you wouldn't be erked over it. You read what you wanted to in that statement.

Nuff said.

 

[fey_spirit]

You know, the only attitude on my side is bemusement...
I'm still trying to figure out why anyone would get angry with folks because they disagreed with her when she invited disagreement - and I quote you:

Like I said I probably am over reacting, this was a one time thing for her to drive them. I didn't nor will I say something, but it just sortof erked me!
Would this have botherd you?

So some people answer that question, with a "no, and here's why" and you get pissy about it. You then decide to get pissy at me when I attempt to gently point out that maybe you gave up the right to be angry at these folks when you asked them a question.

I repeat if all you wanted was folks who agree with you - you shouldn't have asked a question -all you had to do was vent without asking others what they thought... you could have even said that it was just a vent and you didn't want to hear what anyone else thought. (Though even that is hard on a message board.)

Heck I wasn't going to say anything about the main issue one way or another, but getting into a pissing contest with folks who are just trying to do what you asked them to do without raining on your leg are well - silly.

Like I said - there is no attitude from my side, I'm just dazed & confused and trying to make sense of your attitude.

Or hey - maybe it was the sarcasm and biting attitude?
Ever considered anger management?

 

[DisneyPhD]

smoking in front of children isn't wrong??
and imply that my 8 and 6 year should tell some lady to not smoke in front of them? and b/c they didn't they are at fault!
wow

I fully agree with you. Smoking in front of kids is wrong. It used to happen a lot more, thank goodness most people understand this now a days. That doesn't mean everyone does.

The thing is that kids are going to encounter people doing things in front of them that is wrong and preparing them for dealing with it is a good thing. Letting them know how you would like them to handle it can help when they encounter others (not just adults) in the future.

It is in no way your kids fault, but there is only so much we can control. We can't control others, but we can ourselves and what situations we put ourselves in.

I don't think the kids did anything wrong. The thing is next time it happens they can be more prepared for it. (with your help. )

 

[mommytobug]

No disrespect meant, is this possibly a troll story?

 

[ampc3]

I am sorry but I have no idea what a "troll story is?"

ya know fey spirit is right, I guess I should not have asked this question. I was simply venting....
If someone wants to think I am being all "pissy" then fine. There are plenty of people here who agree with me and plenty who don't and that is fine regardless of what you think!
Have a great weekend!

 

[jodifla]

My dad smokes in front of my DS all the time. It's not "wrong." I'm not sure why people think they get to declare this!

I think OP is right to vent if she likes. It's a discussion forum after all.

But there's another whole generation who grew up smoking and still smokes. And unless someone has asthma or something, it's just not that big a deal for a 10 minute car ride.

 

[DisneyPhD]

My dad smokes in front of my DS all the time. It's not "wrong." I'm not sure why people think they get to declare this!

I think OP is right to vent if she likes. It's a discussion forum after all.

But there's another whole generation who grew up smoking and still smokes. And unless someone has asthma or something, it's just not that big a deal for a 10 minute car ride.

That is your choice with your son, but I don't know a lot of people who would agree with you. Not to mention doctors and health studies.

 

[tlbwriter]

My dad smokes in front of my DS all the time. It's not "wrong." I'm not sure why people think they get to declare this!

Depends on your definition of "wrong." Second-hand smoke is a well-documented health hazard. I guess that's why people get to "declare" this - because it's a proven fact.

I do not judge smokers. There are people I love who smoke. They just don't do it within my child's breathing space.

 

[jodifla]

Depends on your definition of "wrong." Second-hand smoke is a well-documented health hazard. I guess that's why people get to "declare" this - because it's a proven fact.

I do not judge smokers. There are people I love who smoke. They just don't do it within my child's breathing space.

And most of us who have elderly parents who smoke have them smoke outside. The risk from secondhand smoke in an outdoor setting is minimal, despite all the handwringing that goes on about it on these boards.

 

[fey_spirit]

You know if you're so angry that you can't separate what I'm saying over what you're venting about then maybe you are over reacting.

I said in my very first post - that I completely understand where you're coming from. Given that I myself don't like to be around smoke (asthmatic)

(note because I don't want to get dragged into the smokers are evil debate, and don't agree that they're bad anyway... I have no problem with smokers, just what smoke does to my lungs)

All I said was that I think it is unfair to ask for opinions and then get mad at folks just because they answered your question. One has nothing to do with the other.

I never said you were over re-acting, I never said you were wrong, or that you had no right to vent. All I said was that it isn't fair to ask folks a question then get angry with them for answering you. That's it... period.

If you're so angry about this after this much time has passed - that you can't separate someone pointing out that you might be being slightly unfair to those who are only doing what you asked them to do, from someone who's telling you that you were wrong to be angry at the "evil' smoke lady, and telling you you have no right to vent about this (which I never did) - then yeah you're over re-acting.

I am sorry but I have no idea what a "troll story is?"

ya know fey spirit is right, I guess I should not have asked this question. I was simply venting....
If someone wants to think I am being all "pissy" then fine. There are plenty of people here who agree with me and plenty who don't and that is fine regardless of what you think!
Have a great weekend!