OT~ Would this bother you? alittle venting here

[Beth E. (NJ)]

The Op has the right to come here and vent. I don't think she over-reacted to any of the comments that other poster's have written here.

That being said -- it is not okay for any poster to attack another poster for their opinions. It is against DISboard guidelines and may result in infractions.

 

[tlbwriter]

And most of us who have elderly parents who smoke have them smoke outside. The risk from secondhand smoke in an outdoor setting is minimal, despite all the handwringing that goes on about it on these boards.

But the OP's children were inside a car with a smoker, not outdoors. Even with the windows rolled down, smoke accumulates in the car.

 

[abcboys]

My in-laws smoke all the time in front of my kids. I hate it but we only go over there once a week for an hour or 2 so I put up with it. I figure one of these days they will be dead and gone (probably from all the smoking) so I try not to make a big deal about stuff even if it really bothers me.

Once FIL was holding my then 1 year old and the smoke from the cigarette in the ashtray was blowing right in his face. The others around him kept saying "Bob that smoke is blowing right in his face over and over" He would say "I heard you" but not doing anything about it. It makes me so sad that he would not move that stupid cigarette from going in my babies face. But....I hate confrontation and knew we would be leaving soon so I let it go.

However, when me and DH first were married they would smoke in OUR house. We finally put a stop to that. Now THAT is rude.

That being said 10 minutes in the car probably will not have harmful effects on your kids and I would not stew about it or let it upset you.

 

[Mono~rail]

Louisiana and Arkansas have passed laws making it illegal to smoke in vehicles that have child passengers. I wish more states would do that then there wouldn't even have to be a debate on whether or not it is OK.

Louisiana's law is stricter than Arkansas'. http://www.boston.com/news/local/co...s_smoking_ban_for_cars_transporting_children/

 

[rbork]

Thanks- this thread was entertaining.
Sorry about your frustration OP.
I just have to say this thread brought back visions of my childhood stuck in the family stationwagon with mom puffing away and me silently gagging in a cloud of smoke

 

[momtoBrandon&Jacob]

My in-laws smoke all the time in front of my kids. I hate it but we only go over there once a week for an hour or 2 so I put up with it. I figure one of these days they will be dead and gone (probably from all the smoking) so I try not to make a big deal about stuff even if it really bothers me.

Once FIL was holding my then 1 year old and the smoke from the cigarette in the ashtray was blowing right in his face. The others around him kept saying "Bob that smoke is blowing right in his face over and over" He would say "I heard you" but not doing anything about it. It makes me so sad that he would not move that stupid cigarette from going in my babies face. But....I hate confrontation and knew we would be leaving soon so I let it go.

However, when me and DH first were married they would smoke in OUR house. We finally put a stop to that. Now THAT is rude.

That being said 10 minutes in the car probably will not have harmful effects on your kids and I would not stew about it or let it upset you.

I would never put up with this. I understand you don't like confrontation, but if your in-laws cared at all about your kids they would certainly understand your concerns. Otherwise, I would not go into their house. The theory that "one day they'll be dead and gone" is just weird...

 

[DisneyPhD]

Thanks- this thread was entertaining.
Sorry about your frustration OP.
I just have to say this thread brought back visions of my childhood stuck in the family stationwagon with mom puffing away and me silently gagging in a cloud of smoke

I have to say, there is a family story about when I was a kid. My uncle is a military man and they lived in VA, we lived in MI. ;edited to add I think he was a captain or someone high up like that. We only saw them about once a year. My 3 older brothers were rather intimidated by my uncle, and wouldn't dream of ever not following a direct order from him.

They all thought it was very funny that when I was about 7 years old I was driving in a car with my uncle and he light up a cigarette. I rolled down my window and refused roll it up. The AC was on and my uncle wasn't happy (but my aunt thought I was right.) My brother's couldn't believe I had the nerve to defy him. Really that wasn't good that I did, he was an adult and I was a kid. I still knew to stand up to my right for fresh air. My parents weren't happy about that, but I wasn't rude about it. I just said I would when he stopped smoking. I think my parents did talk to him about it (not smoking around the kids) but I wasn't around for it. After all it was his car. Then again my parents should up for my rights too.

This is around 1978 or so. He stooped smoking a few years later. Looking back now he was really made at me, but did later say I was right after he gave up smoking and realized how terrible it smelled.

My point is it isn't easy for a kid to stand up to their rights. It really shouldn't be up to them. There is nothing wrong with tell them how to handle the situation if it happens again. This is no longer 1978 too. We have learned a lot since then.

 

[dogluva]

You know,I really love it when people think they are so much better than others if they don't smoke.Are you people that think smokers are low life's perfect? Are you over weight? Do you only eat healthy food and drink? Get exactly the correct amount of sleep? Pay all of your bills on time? Are never late for appointments ?Go to work and support yourselfs and not ever take any money to help out from Parents,etc?Go to Church,have the perfect job,family,etc.Never say anything wrong?Are always putting the other person first?Never do anything wrong?If so I would like to meet you.It would be the first time in 50 years that I could say I had met a PERFECT person.Please don't judge others,just live in your little perfect world ,in your on little bubble,an let the other low lifes around you all die off.We are all different but we are all human and don't live perfect lives,and the world never will be perfect. Please don't judge others until You are perfect and never do or say anything wrong.Then you can appoint yourself a Judge over others.I hope you have a very perfect day!

You forgot to add that all their chidlren are all in gifted and talented classes.

 

[NemoMOm]

I have not read this entire thread but I don't think that anyone is trying to say that they are better because of not smoking (or that their children are ) It is interesting that whenever groups on this board disagree the other claims that the other thinks that they are better than the other.

I think the OP was suprised and angry at the situation and though she may be over reacting or not they are her children.

That being said I can't see what the fuss is, we all know smoking is bad for the health, wether you are smoker or not you have to agree as there is consensus amongst scientist and doctors.

I have seen first hand the damage it does. My sister smoked while pregnant and outside and in the car (w/window rolled down). As a result my nephew has severe asmtha, and no one in the either family has it. He has to sleep with a machine running and when he has an bad attack it is serious. He has had to ear operations due to ear infections (yes, caused by second hand smoke) and has been hospitalized 5x for pneumonia. He is only 2. The doctors say he lungs are very weak.

Then 2 weeks ago step-father had a heart attack docs say he must not smoke. He smoked 2 packs a day.

Now I don't think one car ride will harm the children but it is understandable if the op is upset. It is after all toxic. But she is not saying that smokers are bad people, they are just like the rest of us. We all have some sort of vice, mine is pop can't give it up okay,okay and shopping.

 

[DVCJones]

I have seen first hand the damage it does. My sister smoked while pregnant and outside and in the car (w/window rolled down). As a result my nephew has severe asmtha, and no one in the either family has it. He has to sleep with a machine running and when he has an bad attack it is serious. He has had to ear operations due to ear infections (yes, caused by second hand smoke) and has been hospitalized 5x for pneumonia. He is only 2. The doctors say he lungs are very weak.

This makes me so sad!

 

[SharkyGoddess]

I don't think you're over reacting at all. She's an adult, assumably, and could have excersized some self control and waited 10 minutes. Her smoking with your kids in the car shows her immaturity and selfishness.

If she was there and could take all teh kids, then why wasn't she driving her niece/nephews in the first place? She may have done you a favor, but that doesn't excuse her bevaior. From now on, if your child is invited to go anywhere with the neighbor kids, I would politely ask if Auntie is going, then if yes, I would politely tell them you do not allow smoking around your kids and request there be no smoking in the car. If they can't refrain from smoking in the car --- --- then I would politely decline the invitation.

 

[SharkyGoddess]

You know,I really love it when people think they are so much better than others if they don't smoke.Are you people that think smokers are low life's perfect? Are you over weight? Do you only eat healthy food and drink? Get exactly the correct amount of sleep? Pay all of your bills on time? Are never late for appointments ?Go to work and support yourselfs and not ever take any money to help out from Parents,etc?Go to Church,have the perfect job,family,etc.Never say anything wrong?Are always putting the other person first?Never do anything wrong?If so I would like to meet you.It would be the first time in 50 years that I could say I had met a PERFECT person.Please don't judge others,just live in your little perfect world ,in your on little bubble,an let the other low lifes around you all die off.We are all different but we are all human and don't live perfect lives,and the world never will be perfect. Please don't judge others until You are perfect and never do or say anything wrong.Then you can appoint yourself a Judge over others.I hope you have a very perfect day!

Oh snap!!! And I was thiiiiis close to being perfect. Well dang!

 

[Babboo]

Speaking as a former smoker who smoked for over 30 years, so I think I can competently speak to this.

First - smoking in front of or around children is VERY bad. There are a world of noxious fumes and chemicals in second-hand smoke and it's all unfiltered! As an adult you have the CHOICE to inhale these toxins - one of the bennies to being an adult, you can decide to do things like this. You should not, however, be subjecting a child to your bad habit. There are any number of sites (both pro and con smoking) that can detail the chemicals found in second-hand smoke. I was horrified to find that many of them are carried on or in your clothing and can still be harmful away from the cigarette.

Second is the part you exhale. Sure it's passed through a "filter" and it's been further filtered by your lungs - but there is still plenty of garbage in what you are exhaling. For some reason people think it's ok to blow their smoke wherever. You are affecting the air for about 20' around you - most like the air of non-smokers or those with allergies. Guess what? the world does not bend to YOUR bad habit and bad choice.

I can also say that whenever a non-smoker was in my vehicle I would refrain from smoking. It was out of respect and knowing that I had no right to inflict my bad habit and poor choices on them.

I will further say that I never noticed how incredibly offensive the smell is. I can now detect the lingering smell from quite a distance. I had never noticed it before because my mom smoked, and I started VERY young.

If you're a smoker - that's your choice. You can quit if you choose to. If you don't - that's your choice as well. No one is predisposed to the habit - they learn it. Anyone saying otherwise is just fishing for an excuse. I was there for over 30 years - so it won't cut any ice with me.

 

[darlak]

I would've minded too.

Boy, smoking in a car with children (esp. other people's kids) really does say something about what type of person she is. IMO (a low-life). I really do lose respect for people when I find out they smoke. It's just such an awful, disgusting habit.

You know, once in a while I start thinking that maybe I should quit smoking. Admittedly, it's not very often, since I really enjoy smoking. Then I'll see or hear a comment like this one and completely change my mind. Because then how on earth would I weed out people like this that I would never choose to befriend anyway.

I am that lowlife you're speaking of, the lowlife PTA president, roommother, Sunday School teacher, former foster parent, adoptive parent of a special needs child, and current child welfare worker. Yep, that's me in a nutshell. However, I am neither narrow-minded or self-righteous and try very hard not to befriend those who openly are.