OT-Wording of "no gifts please" ???'s

[phillmolly]

So we are planning our son's first birthday and I was thinking about including the following note in the invites, what do you all think? We are invinting about 80 people, mostly friends from DH's work and family. We also have a very small house and I really and truly don't want a ton of toys cluttering everything up! I am going to ask my mom and dad and other close family members just to add to his college fund. I know you guys will let me know if this okay! TIA!




Hi Everybody!!!

We hope that you can make it to Will’s birthday party. We just wanted to let you know a few things;

We are planning on having the party outside as long as it is not raining, so if it is on the cooler side please bring a jacket (and keep your fingers crossed that it is a nice day for us, LOL!!)

We don’t expect for you to bring a gift, we really just want you to come and help us celebrate this very special day with us, however if you would really like to get Will a gift, a book to add to his collection would be very nice.

Once again, we really hope that you can make it! We look forward to seeing you on the 3rd!!

Phil and Molly

 

[P.I. Squirrel]

Sounds good.

Poor kid though. Books for presents?

 

[soccerchick]

I've seen a saying along the lines of "Your presence is the only present...wanted, needed, expected...worded differently here.

I wouldn't say no gift and then give a suggestion of a book, KWIM?

Perhaps instead of a book, suggest that they do a Random Act of Kindness for needy child or children's charity/organization in your son's name?

 

[mickeymaker2003]

So we are planning our son's first birthday and I was thinking about including the following note in the invites, what do you all think? We are invinting about 80 people, mostly friends from DH's work and family. We also have a very small house and I really and truly don't want a ton of toys cluttering everything up! I am going to ask my mom and dad and other close family members just to add to his college fund. I know you guys will let me know if this okay! TIA!




Hi Everybody!!!

We hope that you can make it to Will’s birthday party. We just wanted to let you know a few things;

We are planning on having the party outside as long as it is not raining, so if it is on the cooler side please bring a jacket (and keep your fingers crossed that it is a nice day for us, LOL!!)

We don’t except for you to bring a gift, we really just want you to come and help us celebrate this very special day with us, however if you would really like to get Will a gift, a book to add to his collection would be very nice.

Once again, we really hope that you can make it! We look forward to seeing you on the 3rd!!

Phil and Molly

Looks fine except, I assume you mean we don't "expect" you to get a gift.

 

[phillmolly]

I've seen a saying along the lines of "Your presence is the only present...wanted, needed, expected...worded differently here.

I wouldn't say no gift and then give a suggestion of a book, KWIM?

Perhaps instead of a book, suggest that they do a Random Act of Kindness for needy child or children's charity/organization in your son's name?

I added the part about the book because I have seen lots of threads lately regarding "no gifts" where people don't want to go empty handed to a birthday party, I know I don't like to, and this way they have a choice to bring him a small gift that they know will be appreciated.

 

[phillmolly]

Looks fine except, I assume you mean we don't "expect" you to get a gift.

Thank you!!!

 

[katyjeka]

I know I'll get slammed for this, but I don't like it. I really don't want invited to a party, especially for a child, then told no gifts. We have 3 dd's and LOVE books(my dh calls our family room the library!)but I feel its in bad test to tell guests what to bring. I know a lot of older people who actually look forward to buying gifts for little ones, as they don't often get to visit toy stores. I understand your house is small so my suggestion, why not allow people to choose what they bring, let your son pick a few favorites and donate whats left to a local shelter, salvation army(for Xmas), or a local hospital?? I used to return duplicate gifts my dd's got, but we now thank everyone, and donate the duplicates. Have a great party.

 

[tjbaggott]

A small handful of Children in my neighbourhood have stipulated on their invitations "in lieu of gifts, please bring an item for our local food bank".
For a child as young as yours, this could be a teaching opportunity about compassion, philanthropy ect...
Of course if close family members get him a small gift (I think children need to have something just for them on their birthday), he can open those before the party.

 

[taitai]

We always do no gift parties. Our friends do as well. Nobody needs more stuff in their houses and in this economy we don't want anyone spending any money they absolutely do not need to.

Anyway...we always just say "No gifts, please" A couple friends say "Cards Only" which I like. I know my boys really get into making a really fun card for their friend.

taitai

 

[2binak]

Friends of ours used the following saying on their DD's 1st b-day invites: "We're after your presence, not your presents." Everyone thought it was really cute!

 

[Dani C]

You can always say "If you wish to bring a gift, please bring an unwrapped toy to be donated to the local "Toys for Tots" campaign."

This works well as do the food donations for the local food bank (as mentioned by a prior poster) and even donations of toiletry items/clothing to be donated to a local shelter.

Indicate on your invitations whichever charitable organization(s) you will be giving "donations" to and add something about how lucky your little one is and how so many others are not blessed with the support and generousity of so many loving friends and family members.

 

[3boymthr]

I think it's okay to say you don't want presents, but I wouldn't then mention what you would like for presents. Some people feel they're being coerced to buy a book instead of the toy that they had already planned or bought (especially relatives).

I agree with pp. Some thing along the lines of "We'd love for you to come celebrate with us but feel Will doesn't need presents at this time so please share our joy by gifting Will with your presence."

Then if they call to ask what he would like say a book.

 

[flea1267]

for my mother in law's party last year on the invitations we put

"No gifts please your presence is gift enough"

 

[Scurvy]

I know this isn't a popular opinion, but technically you aren't supposed to mention gifts at all on an invitation. It wouldn't really bother me to receive an invitation like that, but there are people who would be offended by it. According to strict etiquette you aren't supposed to dictate what gifts people bring, even if you are just saying "No gifts". Instead, the gift preferences are supposed to be communicated via word of mouth. The assumption is that the people you are inviting will know the guest of honor well enough to know what would be a good gift or that they will at least know who to ask for gift suggestions.

However, if you aren't worried about following strict etiquette and are intending to mention gifts on the invitation, I agree with previous posters that it's a bit of a contradiction to say "No gifts" and also dictate what gift you would like them to bring. If you really mean "No gifts" then that's what you should stick to. If you want books instead of other gifts then that's what you should communicate.

 

[micheleq]

I think no gifts is perfectly fine - we have a small house too so I have done this before. We've asked for donations for our local food bank before and once "adopted" a baby of a woman in need at a shelter, so friends brought items for the baby.

Just be prepared that some people will bring a gift anyways!

 

[rt2dz]

I don’t have a problem with the no gift part, I find that to be the exception to the rule about not mentioning gifts on the invitation. But, some people will bring gifts anyhow and that shouldn’t offend you. I don’t like showing up with nothing. But I do understand your point for a one year old.

However, what I do have a problem with is ANY suggestion of a gift, i.e., the book request. And that is actually all that stuck with me, not the “no gifts” part. IF your guests do decide to bring a gift, it shouldn’t be dictated to them what. I’m a little old school that way—birthday parties shouldn’t have gift requests. I find it rude and tacky. If you do want to give an alternative, say something like "instead of gifts, bring a donation for the local pet shelter" instead of the conflicting no gifts/give me a book message.

 

[JerseyMamaBear]

I've seen a saying along the lines of "Your presence is the only present...wanted, needed, expected...worded differently here.

?

Friends of ours used the following saying on their DD's 1st b-day invites: "We're after your presence, not your presents." Everyone thought it was really cute!

I like them both and think either would work well

 

[kimmylaj]

just to let you know i did this by word of mouth for my dd's 2 nd bday party. 1st off very few people listened ( they told me i reminded them of mommie dearest lol) and the few people who did listen felt bad about not bringing anything when others did. so while i agree with you dont be upset if nobody listens

 

[Zeebs]

you are going to end up with 80 books. LOL

I too wouldn't mention a suggestion, put no gifts or a donation but not a suggestion.

We said no gifts at Cullens 1st birthday and didn't end up with too much most people respected the request.

If I get an invite that says no gifts then I don't bring one and I don't feel bad if everyone else has and I haven't. I think I might be mean like that.

Kirsten

 

[bankgirl05]

All of these suggestions are very good and similar to what we did for our son's first birthday: he was born with a heart defect and we spent the first 19 days of his life camped out at the Ronald McDonald House neaar the children's hospital. When his first birthday rolled around I included a "list of needed items" which I printed from thier website, in the invitation, and stated "in leiu(sp) of gifts we would like to honor a charity that meant so much to us... please donate bring one of the following items for donation..." it was a great success, and many of the items were house hold things such as paper products etc, so my guests were able to shop during thier normal shopping runs(or raid thier pantry???)
I also like the donating the duplicate gifts to charity!!! wonderful idea!!!

Have a wonderful celebration!