OT--What's with Kids these days??

[*KeepMovingForward*]

Disrepectful kids and clueless parents can be found in the north and the south.

It just goes to show that even idiots are allowed to procreate. Shame on the parents.

 

[nosy parker]

I'm not that old (in my 40's) but I miss the "old days" Parents used to teach their kids about manners and respect for people and their belongings. Child rearing was also a community effort. It might be a Caribbean island thing, but my kids were horrified to learn that in the good old days that it was understood that the neighbours etc were "deputy parents" with the implied authority to correct any child caught misbehaving. And you didn't dare go home and complain that Mr. X or Mrs. Y corrected you, either! I had neighbours tell me on more than one occasion, "Your parents aren't here right now, so I have a good mind to spank you myself" And they probably would have too (with my parents' blessing!) if I persisted with the mischief - garden variety childhood mischief I might add - I can't imagine how my parents, extended family and neighbours would have dealt with me if I'd been caught smoking, stealing, trashing peoples' property etc

So true, so true. My friend and I were just discussing this recently and noted how the whole "other parents" disciplining kids is gone. She was commenting that parents are such a part of the problem. Back when we were kids we knew darn well that if we misbehaved ANY grown-up would get right on the phone and call our parents to report our behaviour. Then we'd "get it" when we got home from our mom/dad. No more. Nowadays if you call so and so's mom to tell them their kid is misbehaving all you get is "not MY little Johnny" or a variety of excuses to justify his behaviour. I see this all the time when teachers try to inform parents about their "precious" kid's unacceptable behaviour.

Doesn't bode well for the future.

 

[MyPrincessisaPirate]

It never ceases to amaze me how little regard for others kids have these days. I took my DD4 1/2 to a bday pary last weekend. Now, my DD is no angel, but she is not the mean type and will play and talk with any kid within ear shot. Wel, this one 5 year old girl decides to march up to my DD and tell her she hates her and no one wants to play with her. Then she proceeded to knock her over. Now, I'm an Italian from Brooklyn originally...you do not mess with my family, so I said "Hey! Dont touch her again!" The little brat just looked at me and flounced away. The mother saw the whole thing and didnt even say anything to me! She just went on with her conversation. How does a 5 year old learn to hate? This snotty catty attitude is exactly why I am dreading the teen years....it only gets worse. I spoke with my DD about this type of behavior and let her know that its no big deal if someone doesnt like her...as long as shes being nice to others then there will always be a friend to play with. I think I was more upset than DD about the whole thing but I would never tolerate that behavior from her...so why should she have to tolerate it from some other kid? (Secretely, I think the other girl is jealous because DD is gorgeous...but it is late and I will pull my claws in for the evevening LOL!!!!!!!)

 

[livndisney]

Between the school, the church and my DD's extracurricular activities, I've worked around kids for a while. I've been forced to accept that there are way too many children who are allowed to behave as they please, with no regards for the inconvenience or discomfort they create.

Last week I witnessed really appalling behaviour from the children at church, most of them were in the 9 - 11 year old group. I'd expect a little giggling and fidgeting but I could not deal with the rude, disruptive, mean behaviour (pinching, hitting, running around the church etc)

The moms and grandparents of the misbehaving children had the nerve to get offended because we dared to ask the children to sit still and be quiet.

I spent the entire time shaking my head and reminding myself that there was a good reason why I decided NOT to work in the children's ministry anymore.

The mom whose boys were pinching, hitting and running up and down, is the assistant children's ministry leader! During the service, she made an appeal for volunteers to assist with the children's ministry, especially in the 9 - 11 age group. Do you suppose she'll figure out why the children's ministry is "understaffed"????

I'm not that old (in my 40's) but I miss the "old days" Parents used to teach their kids about manners and respect for people and their belongings. Child rearing was also a community effort. It might be a Caribbean island thing, but my kids were horrified to learn that in the good old days that it was understood that the neighbours etc were "deputy parents" with the implied authority to correct any child caught misbehaving. And you didn't dare go home and complain that Mr. X or Mrs. Y corrected you, either! I had neighbours tell me on more than one occasion, "Your parents aren't here right now, so I have a good mind to spank you myself" And they probably would have too (with my parents' blessing!) if I persisted with the mischief - garden variety childhood mischief I might add - I can't imagine how my parents, extended family and neighbours would have dealt with me if I'd been caught smoking, stealing, trashing peoples' property etc

Nope, not an Island thing- we have this Up North too. We were taught how to behave and we behaved!

 

[livndisney]

It never ceases to amaze me how little regard for others kids have these days. I took my DD4 1/2 to a bday pary last weekend. Now, my DD is no angel, but she is not the mean type and will play and talk with any kid within ear shot. Wel, this one 5 year old girl decides to march up to my DD and tell her she hates her and no one wants to play with her. Then she proceeded to knock her over. Now, I'm an Italian from Brooklyn originally...you do not mess with my family, so I said "Hey! Dont touch her again!" The little brat just looked at me and flounced away. The mother saw the whole thing and didnt even say anything to me! She just went on with her conversation. How does a 5 year old learn to hate? This snotty catty attitude is exactly why I am dreading the teen years....it only gets worse. I spoke with my DD about this type of behavior and let her know that its no big deal if someone doesnt like her...as long as shes being nice to others then there will always be a friend to play with. I think I was more upset than DD about the whole thing but I would never tolerate that behavior from her...so why should she have to tolerate it from some other kid? (Secretely, I think the other girl is jealous because DD is gorgeous...but it is late and I will pull my claws in for the evevening LOL!!!!!!!)

Ooh I can answer this one! A 5 year old learns to hate when they are taught to hate. A 4 year old walked up to my 4 year old and pre-school and told her "You can't come to my party because you are not white". The "little darling's" father was standing right there nodding his head. This Momma had a little "chat" with that father in the parking lot

 

[kajcwman]

Tough for kids to know how to act when they aren't told, or even better, shown, right from wrong at home.

Reminds me of the Keanu Reeves line from the movie Parenthood:
"You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - heck, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any idiot/jerk be a father. "

Paraphrased, of course, for Disney audiences.

 

[aubriee]

I had a little neighbor girl( about 5y/o) scratching a car hood with a rock. I told her to stop and not to do that...She had the nerve to tell me F&** you! Then her grandmother comes out and asks what is the problem I told her that her her granddaughter was scratching another neighbors car with a rock, and I told her not to , and I told her what the dear child said.grandma told me it is none of my buisness and that I was wrong to corrrect her, and obviously she used the f word because I deserved it.

My house is in on a corner. One night shortly after Christmas this year, we had two cars whip quickly onto our road and one pulled into my driveway, while the other parked right in front of my house and got out and started yelling. My dogs were going ballistic, so we looked out to see what was happening. A couple of our neighbors were coming out to see what was happening, so we also stepped out. The drivers of both cars had hopped out of their cars and were looking at the side of their cars. Apparently some kids (8-12 y/o) had gotten some paint guns for Christmas and were standing out on the lawn of house 1/2 block up from our road, shooting cars as they went by. One of the drivers called the police and when they arrived, the kids dropped the guns on the lawn and tried to take off across the empty lots across from my house. There are alot of plum trees and scrub out there, so it took awhile to find them, but they were finally brought out by the police, who had called for back up. The kids were not the least bit cowered. They were cursing the police officers and using the F--- word every other breath. When they were marched back to their house, the kids all three denied doing anything wrong and the parents actually took up for them, saying how did the drivers know it was their kids shooting the paint guns and even if they did, they were just kids being kids and the paint should wash off. There was no reason for the cops to be chasing and manhandling their kids. They did finally admit they had bought the kids the paintguns for Christmas and yes they were on their lawn, but since it was dark there was no way anyone could say for sure who had shot the two cars, and it may not have even been their boys. Excuse me people, it is 10:00pm and your kids are the only ones out and about!

Oh, one more thing, I live in a normally very quiet, residential neighborhood full of all nice brick homes, in the South. So there are unruly, bratty kids down here too. They are not all up North and not all from poor families either.

 

[OU1247]

Bottom line..

To many parents want to be their kids friend! You can't be their friend. You have to be the parent. IMO

 

[lpandorf]

It never ceases to amaze me how little regard for others kids have these days. I took my DD4 1/2 to a bday pary last weekend. Now, my DD is no angel, but she is not the mean type and will play and talk with any kid within ear shot. Wel, this one 5 year old girl decides to march up to my DD and tell her she hates her and no one wants to play with her. Then she proceeded to knock her over. Now, I'm an Italian from Brooklyn originally...you do not mess with my family, so I said "Hey! Dont touch her again!" The little brat just looked at me and flounced away.

I am having similar issues with a few kids in DD's class. Most of the kids she goes to school with are nice kids, but the handful of them that are not nice sure make it rough for her on some days. A few of them have made up cheers about DD. Spelling out you are UGLY. One hit her with her lunchbox in line. Hard enough to leave a mark. One poked her when she was hanging upside down on the monkeybars. (when we called the principal the little girl said it was an accident) Anyone else I might have believed it, but how do you accidently make a mark on DD's neck with your lunchbox? She was at Girl Scout Camp last week and one of these girls was there. She hit her with a jump rope one day, took her snack the next and stole her flag the final day (DD's name was drawn from the hat to take home the group flag.) The school does try to correct the behavior of these girls. They split them all up and put them in different classes, take away recess, detentions. But only one has stopped the bad behavior. I was trying to be nice and offered to give one of the girls a ride home from basketball as she lives close and her Mom was sick so I told the Mom to go rest and I'd give the girl a lift. Well, the little girl cut my seatbelt in the minivan with scissors (DD had a little school box in the van she was taking to replace some supplies) And the girl is 8 so old enough to know not to do something like this.

My favorite was a little nieghbor boy (about 1st grade age) playing at our house and it was time for the kids to clean up. We asked them to each pick up some toys. He told us he did not have to as it was not his house and walked out.

 

[Aliceacc]

If my 5 month old pulls something like that...it might get ugly..

Your child won't pull something like that-- you have respect for others and the courage to parent.

How bizarre that the parents would challenge you but don't have the courage to challene their own kids.

My son frequently comments that he has the strictest mom in town-- a badge I'm happy to wear. In the meantime, he and my daughters are polite to others and their property, wear a helmet when they're on any type of wheels, and are generally thought of as "good kids."

It's amazing to me that so many parents refuse to parent their kids when they're small. Note to these parents: do you honestly think it's going to be EASIER when these kids hit 13??? Or do you think they'll look back fondly at all you let them do and somehow develop respect for you and others with no help from you? An observation from a high school teacher: they won't. Respect doesn't develop in a vacuum-- it needs to be taught, and taught young.

PS--- Thanks for all you do to keep others safe-- from pebbles and rudeness and the bigger threats that you combat on a daily basis.

 

[In a hurry]

I kind of think that it would be a "nice" improvement if the parent raised their own child/children then we would still have polite kids, instead of depending on other kids/parents, neighbors, teachers, police officers and others to do their own jobs for them.

It was nice, because all of those people were support staff when I was growing up. My parents reared us well, but if we screwed up (as all kids do on occasion) there was almost alwyas someone to call us on it.

 

[DVC Sadie]

It was nice, because all of those people were support staff when I was growing up. My parents reared us well, but if we screwed up (as all kids do on occasion) there was almost alwyas someone to call us on it.

I agree with you.

It was a nice era when neighbors were support staff for the neighborhood kids and it usually involved several parents sitting outside watching their own kids playing. Those days are long gone and extinct.

 

[mrsltg]

I saw this at Disney World a few years ago. We were sitting at a table having breakfast and a boy was kicking some ducks walking around. I was really horrified. His parents were right there...saying nothing.

Oh my! Same exact thing happened to DH and I are WL. The kids (three of them) circled the animal and kicked him. The parents LAUGHED!!!! DH *loudly* stated, "If that were Monkey (oldest dd) I'd drown her in the pool right there. Good thing we raised her right." I was befuddled. Who does that?

 

[bonybroad]

We had a B-R-A-t encounter at WDW the last time we were there. Yelled at me and my son in the pool because we were in "HER WAY." I told her "sorry, watch out." She swam BACK to us, and told me she could swim wherever she wants, we should just shut up and get out of the pool! THIS IS A CHILD! I AM AN ADULT. Doesn't anyone teach their kids not to disrespect adults anymore?!? If I had ever spoken like that to an adult, I would be missing teeth!

 

[ilovemonk]

We had a B-R-A-t encounter at WDW the last time we were there. Yelled at me and my son in the pool because we were in "HER WAY." I told her "sorry, watch out." She swam BACK to us, and told me she could swim wherever she wants, we should just shut up and get out of the pool! THIS IS A CHILD! I AM AN ADULT. Doesn't anyone teach their kids not to disrespect adults anymore?!? If I had ever spoken like that to an adult, I would be missing teeth!

Wow. How old was she and was anyone with her? I know I wouldnt stand for that at all.

 

[lntsmom]

I was using the public restroom at All Star Movies earlier this month, when a toddler starts to crawl under the stall door to join me.

Now, I make the assumption that her mother had gone into a stall, leaving her alone, and she was trying to find her mommy. After all, what kind of parent would be okay with their kid crawling around on the floor of a restroom...and a public one, at that?!?!?!

So, I say, "Oh, no, honey! I'm not your momma!"

Would you interpret those as fighting words? I thought it was a kind enough response.

Then, from just the other side of the toddler, ALSO ON THE FLOOR comes the voice of the mother.

Take a guess; do you think she apologized to me for her child having crawled under the door to my stall? If so, you're on the wrong thread!

She yelled at me, "Well, that's a little harsh, don't you think? She is only two!"

At that point I was done playing nice. My response? "You know lady, you have no idea who is in here. For all you know, I could be the friendly neighborhood child molester!"

She harumphed and made a snarky comment to her daughter about how it was okay and that you just never know about people these days.

My response to that was that if she didn't want other people disciplining her children, then she should do it herself.

Sadly, she was just one of 4 complete wackos we ran into on our trip.

The other crazy mom we met was at Mickey's house. She went from room to room lifting her kids over the fences. Yes, this set off the alarms every time, but she didn't care. Obviously her precious darling are somehow more entitled than the rest of us, and bariers and rules don't apply to them.

My younger DS loudly questioned why a grown-up would break the rules. My response was that I had no idea, and that the worst thing was that she was teaching her children to ignore boundaries and rules. While at Disney the worst that may bring on is a request to get your kids out of the restricted area, some day her kids will go somewhere, like an art museum, where crossing the boundaries will get them arrested. I added that it's sad to see a parent setting their children up for problems later in life.

I don't know if the mom was able to hear me, but I'd hope she was.

I blame this all on society for the whole self-esteem curriculum we foisted on kids back in the 80's. They are now adults who believe the universe is centered around them...they don't respect others or follow rules, and are raising a group of sad, spoiled children.

Yes, I'm one of those mean moms who don't let my kids get away with anything. In the end, I firmly they'll be happier, healthier adults for it!

 

[Tiger926]

I'm a highschool teacher as well, and I have to say I'm tired of most people blaming kids, when in fact, it is the adults in their lives who are to blame, in most cases. We've been to WDW many times, and we've met far more obnoxious adults than badly behaving kids. Most adults I see on a daily basis, whether it be on television, radio, newspaper or in my own community, have such a sense of entitlement and arrogance about them. I see so many adults who have no disregard for anyone else but themselves, and it then translates to their kids. I am so sick of the whole universe revolves around me theory that I see many adults give off. My teenaged students are mostly very mannerly and respectful to me, because I am to them, but I have many teaching colleagues who come to me to get assistance with why students are giving them a hard time, and I remind them that it could be because they called them 'dumb' or were rude to them. I teach my students and my children that you "get what you give," yet sadly, most adults I see don't have any concept of this at all.

Also, remember though, that some kids may have emotional or learning issues that may not be easily recognized at first, so please don't assume that all kids are just 'bad' or their parents are 'bad', as some of them have legitimate brain wiring issues that you or I may not be able to see.

Tiger

 

[3goofyboys]

I am probably the most strict parent I know. I have high expectations of my kids and they are expected to behave properly (within their age limitations) in public. All the other moms I hang out with are amazed at how well behaved my kids are, umm... that's because they know what's expected of them and they know the consequences if they don't follow the rules. Is it hard, yes. Would it be easier to let them do whatever they want and chat away with my friends, yes. But, I signed up for parenthood and it's my responsibilty to do it to the best of my ability.

My older DS was recently hit in the head with a large stick by a boy in our playgroup. I know that accidents happen, but I saw what happened and this was no accident. He was hit hard enough to need a trip to the emergency room because he had a concusion. What did his mom say? Oh, "Johnny" stop that. Makes my blood boil!

 

[pixiewings71]

My younger DS loudly questioned why a grown-up would break the rules. My response was that I had no idea, and that the worst thing was that she was teaching her children to ignore boundaries and rules. While at Disney the worst that may bring on is a request to get your kids out of the restricted area, some day her kids will go somewhere, like an art museum, where crossing the boundaries will get them arrested. I added that it's sad to see a parent setting their children up for problems later in life.

My girls do this all the time. I answer just as you did. I forgot, we were at DL one weekend and 2 little boys were throwing rocks at the ducks, I looked at them mean and said "You better stop that right now" they ran over to their parents and then I got the "look". I gave it right back, stood there and hoped they would say something to me. My girls were doing the shame finger on those boys and my DD11 said "stop doing that, they aren't hurting you". Apparently I'm teaching my kids to discipline others children. LOL

 

[MiniGirl]

Okay, I'll throw a story in here, too.

I was at a birthday party with my daughter a few years ago. I don't know how the conversation started, but the moms started talking about how Precious and Angel tend to manipulate them (the parents) to get whatever they want and aren't they so smart to be able to do that at such a young age. Anyway, the one upmanship started -- only they were all trying to outdo each other on how much their kids get away with. Then they started giving themselves labels like, "Well, you know I'm the mom who just melts and gives Precious anything she wants when she gives me those sweet butterfly kisses." Oh, I know what you mean. I just can't say no to Princess when she gives me those big eyes and that pouty lip." And on and on. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, so I said, "Well, I'm the mean mom then because I don't believe in giving children everything they want no matter how cute they are." And yes, my children were the only ones not kicking and screaming when it was time to leave.