OT: Rsvp vent

[jeepgirl30]

My son's bday party is coming up sat. I had listed yesterday as the rsvp date. We are having it at an indoor water slide place that charges by the child. I have to give them a head count by tomorrow. I will have to pay for children that are no shows.

We invited 14 children. I have had 2 rsvps, one yes and one no. he is in Kgarten so i really don't know the mom's yet and don't run into them to ask.

Why do people not RSVP?

 

[1stTimeDisneyer]

I am sorry they did not RSVP, I do not understand that. Are you taking them to Splash Lagoon? I love it there.

 

[mjantz]

Because they are lazy. For future reference, what I've heard to do is say 'Party will be November 15th. Please call for time & location'. If you have time I'd send a note home with all parents today that states if they don't RSVP you cannot guarantee a place for them at the waterpark. And, if they show up you're going to have to say 'I'm sorry but since you didn't RSVP I don't have room for you at the party'. Its a hard lesson to learn but maybe if more parents got that 'wake up call' more would RSVP.

 

[EthansMom]

Do you have their telephone numbers? If so, call them. That's what I always do.... call and say, "I haven't heard from you and am trying to get a head count."

If you don't have phone numbers, I would send notes in to class tomorrow that say, "If I don't hear from you this afternoon/evening, there won't be a spot for your child."

 

[mom2faith]

I am in the same boat for DDs party. No RSVPs yet (but they have a few more days). Although I do not "need" to know for Pool Purposes as you do, I want to be sure I have enough for the gift bags, food, drinks, etc without getting stuck with a bunch of leftovers. Last year I had 4 full goodie bags left over. I was not happy, as I like to spoil the kids and do spend a lot of money on our goody bags.
This year we are even serving dinner as we have a big football game on TV so the parents can stay to watch the game - so we need to know how much to make (we have decided to do Chili so we can freeze the leftovers). Since DD is only 4, most of these RSVPs are family members - which makes me even madder!!
I had one parent come up to me the other day and say, "You really don't need us to RSVP do you? We will come if we are around." What kind of answer is that???

I feel your pain and will ALWAYS RSVP!!

Let me know what your outcome is. I wish I had some advice for you.

Amy

 

[eeyorefan74]

I am so with you on this one. I don't know if people just don't know what RSVP means, or if they just assume they don't need to do it. Whatever the reason, no one does it anymore. I've found it helps a little to include an email address as well as the phone number, but even then we had very few RSVP's for DD's last birthday party. It does make it very frustrating.

 

[tink2dw]

Believe it or not But most People Don't Not Know what RSVP even means.

I polled my Daughters friends[21 yr] and none of them knew what it was or what it meant?? or what to do? And only 2 of the Mothers knew?

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

When i send out invitations I write "RSVP for regrets only" That way people who aren't coming will only need to make the effort. It's sad that people don't make more of an effort for a child. When i don't get any RSVp's for regrets, i just assumme that everyone is coming.

 

[tchrchgo]

I think I posted this same exact vent for the past 2 years. Kdg and 1st grade parties were the same way- maybe 1-2 rsvp's from classmates out of 20-35 invites. The only people who actually rsvp'd were close friends. I have never had anyone show up who had not rsvp'd.

so I always take a no response as a no. and next year I am only inviting close friends so I don't have to deal with the rsvp baloney!

 

[princessmom29]

When i send out invitations I write "RSVP for regrets only" That way people who aren't coming will only need to make the effort. It's sad that people don't make more of an effort for a child. When i don't get any RSVp's for regrets, i just assumme that everyone is coming.

That would have gotten me in real trouble on my DD's party. 16 invites only one called to say she wasn't coming. 2 showed for the party. I would have had to pay for 14 extra kids.

 

[Bren's Mom]

My son's bday party is coming up sat. I had listed yesterday as the rsvp date. We are having it at an indoor water slide place that charges by the child. I have to give them a head count by tomorrow. I will have to pay for children that are no shows.

We invited 14 children. I have had 2 rsvps, one yes and one no. he is in Kgarten so i really don't know the mom's yet and don't run into them to ask.

Why do people not RSVP?

Not RSVPing is bad enough...but be prepared for those who do show up to bring siblings.

 

[luvmy3jewels]

I had the same problem with my son's birthday party. I invited 12 kids and noted "regrets only" on the invitation. Only 1 person called by the deadline to say they wouldn't make it, so I assumed that meant the rest would be there. It was a pirate party and each kid got their own hat, sword, eye patch, etc which ended up costing around $15 per kid. (I had noted "no gifts please" on the invitation, so people didn't have to bring a present, just their child).

The day of their party, four kids showed up. The rest were no shows, however I did have one mom to call afterwards to say her daughter was sick. I wish people had had the courtesy to call to say they wouldn't come!!

The ironic thing is ds just brought home a birthday party invitation from one of the no shows. It has RSVP in it and it is to a bounce house place, so I know the parents are paying per kid. Ds wants to go, so I will respond that he will be there (and take him even though the party is an hour away). I just wish his parents had had the same consideration for us!!

 

[kk8273]

My friend had the same problem. She ending up sending in a photocopied note saying that only 2 people responded and they needed to know ASAP. Hopefully it would be a reminder for the moms. It worked out pretty good in her case. I am with you - It really bothers me when people don't respond.
Good Luck!

 

[cruizie]

Something that I do is include both my ph # and email for RSVP's. That way, if someone does not like to call someone they do not know or keeps forgetting to call during regular call hours but remembers after putting the kids to bed, etc, they can shoot me an email. This has helped but there are still people that do not respond and I think it is so rude!! Good luck!

 

[tchrchgo]

The ironic thing is ds just brought home a birthday party invitation from one of the no shows. It has RSVP in it and it is to a bounce house place, so I know the parents are paying per kid. Ds wants to go, so I will respond that he will be there (and take him even though the party is an hour away). I just wish his parents had had the same consideration for us!!

LOL- I had the same thing happen to me! there was one mom I had to call 2 times (a week after rsvp date) before she finally told me her daughter wasn't coming- and then she had the nerve to invite us to her dd's party- so we did the same thing- I let her call me before I rsvp'd NO!

 

[glesgalass]

Here there's usually only three or four pre year who don't respond. We all seem to put our cellphone no.'s on the invitations or email, and usually we all respond by text message about 50% of the time. I like this, as I can save the message, then check it off on the list whenever I can remember where I left it ;0) and the rest are by phone. I think you should just send a note in with a reminder for each child - maybe some of the moms who would normally respond haven't found the invite at the bottom of a bag or something?

 

[glesgalass]

oops double post!

 

[melancholywings]

Yeah. I'm so done with throwing the kiddy birthday parties. Done, done, done. We use to go to almost every invite we got out of a desire to connect with the other families and her school friends. But her last two parties K and 1st grade we've had 1 or 2 children show up out of a 30 person invite list, no one hardley rsvps and the ones who did come showed up 10 minutes late. We sat there for 10 minutes thinking no one was comming to her party. I thought I was going to die when she asked where her friends were.
So forget that. This year we're taking her to Disneyworld and she can have 1 or 2 close friends sleep over later in the month.
And to add to my bitterness we now really only go to fellow classmate/brownie birthday parties if they participate back, or are new kids to the school.

I'd suggest filling a few of the spots with other children maybe coworkers kids that you know will show up, or even ask the child that did rsvp if they'd like to bring a sibbling.

 

[gymjenn2]

similar thing happened at the last party my DD attended. a little girl in her pre school class was turning 4. they invited over 30 kids, no one except me RSVPd and then the day of the party only my DD was there. and she had to pay for 20 kids (rented a gymnastics place) and had a whole sheet cake, tons of party favors, and tons of pizza and juice. she was out well over $200 for a private party for her daughter and mine. i felt so bad for the little girl and mom. but no way am i do friends parties for my DD until she is much older.

 

[m&m's mom]

We just had my DD's birthday party and had the following work:

1). I did Regrets Only- My boss suggested this and it worked perfectly for us. I invited 14 and only had 1 regret so I was nervous but everyone showed up.
2). We had the party on a Friday night. With soccer and other activities Saturdays were tough and by Sunday they would forget (I know I have).
3). Had a Chocolate Party. The 8 year olds were beyond excited when DD told them we were having a chocolate fountain. They would have been very unhappy missing that.