OT: Please help me...In desperate need of Potty training tips....

dsnygirl2006

DIS Veteran
Joined
Feb 18, 2006
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902
Hi everyone,
My DS will be 3 yo in June, he will go potty once in a blue moon and would sit there all day if I would let him :rolleyes1 ....but he will not go, he knows when he has to go, but won't....today at preschool we tried just putting him in underwear to see if it would help when he would feel wet, but nope....didn't seem to work :confused3 ....he cannot move up to the 3 yo class until he is potty trained and two of his little friends have already moved up and I don't want him to be behind and all of his friends move up.... :sad2: ???? Any tips, help or advice would be GREATLY APPRECIATED....THANK YOU
 
My biggest bit of advice is to be patient and don't push it until he is ready! My DD was 26 months when she appeared to be potty trained and had lots of regression when her beby brother was born. We basically had to start over and it was miserable! I am a speech therapist and I work with preschoolers and have learned through experience at work and home that it is not worth the battle to push a child who really is not ready. It has also been my experience that most boys seem to train well around 3 and many after they are 3.

If your child is really ready, I have great success with my kids earning a marble to put in a jar when they go on the potty/ follow directions/ help pick up toys... They love counting how many they have each night. So far we haven't had to cash in marbles for anything else, so the marbles are the reward. Sticker charts and m&ms work are great, too. I have also heard of putting things in the toilet for little boys who stand to aim at- cheerios and there are things to purchase. Good luck!
 
I personally never PT'ed my kids. They told *ME* when they were ready, I never told *THEM* that they had to go potty. It was great--they both just decided out of the blue to start wearing underwear and "PT'ed" themselves this way.

Also, as bell&beast mentioned, most boys don't PT until after 3 so I wouldn't push it. It *WILL* happen!! Just relax, don't push him, and you'll be happy you did. Good luck!!
 
I want to say our pediatrician said you can't make them go to the bathroom, this is something they control and you can not make them do this.

My oldest son was 4 before he would do it and we use bribed him :confused3 My son was not a big eater so I bought little toy surprises, hot wheels, toys with a bunch of little of things in them I could break into many surprises. Every time he went to the potty he got a surprise. Then he wanted Power Rangers toys I promised him one after he kept his pants dry 5 days. It worked. Now he still had accidents for awhile after that but I got him sitting on the potty.


My other DS is 3 now and he is not ready. He is close but not there. He is an eater so he gets a small piece of candy every time he sits on the potty two if he pees. I let him have control and doing it on his own. Some days he comes out of his room and takes off his diaper and puts underwear on. He can wear it until it gets wet and then I put another diaper on. (he will also get a power ranger toy because his big brother told him that was what you get :rotfl2: )

Good luck! It is hard. :wizard:
 

I bought a little potty for every room and let DD empty it herself into the toilet. She got one Hershey Kiss every time she successfully went. One day I threw away the diapers (I was told to NEVER wear pull-ups because they need to feel when they're wet) and bought every pair of cotton training pants I could find around town. I also bought a lot of carpet cleaner - but we had few accidents after the first week. The key is to give lots of fluids and keep an eye on them. Every time they "go" pick them up and move them to a potty. Eventually they get it. I hate to make the comparison to training a puppy, but they really are quite similar. DD was trained at 20 months. She had 2 or 3 accidents within the first six months but has been accident free ever since. And, I can't say that it's a girl thing or a boy thing, because every child in her daycare was trained by age 2 1/2 or they couldn't move up. Also, her current preschool won't even take kids who aren't potty trained.
When his friends move up, he'll become more interested. Nothing works like a little peer pressure. If you're having trouble, I would get advice from your mother or grandmother. Most kids over the age of 30 were potty trained before they were 3, so I guess it can be done.
 
To be completely honest, the more you push it the more he will resist. I think if you just keep making him aware of the potty- (letting him come in the bathroom with you etc.) it will work. Kids like to have control on this aspect of their life more than anything. Making a huge issue of it will only make him resist more. We talked up going on the potty a while before ds decided for himself that he was not going to wear diapers. He was 2.5. We never made a huge issue of it and never made him feel bad or embarrassed for wearing a diaper. One morning when he woke up and I was changing his diaper he told me that he didn't want to wear diapers anymore and I said okay but you have to use the potty and he was fine with that. He had a few accidents that week but then he was completely trained. I didn't stay home all week either. We went to playgroup, shopping etc. I just asked him to try and make before we left the house and he was fine. For me- I think if you talk uo how exciting it is then he will let you know when he is ready. It will happen. I wouldn't worry about him falling behind. Kids are pretty smart. princess:
 
:wave2: I have 4 kiddos, 3 of them boys... all of the above advice is true! My oldest trained himself in 1, yes 1 DAY at 26 months! My dd took alot longer..a LOT LONGER! My other two ds both started showing intrest at 24 months so I started trying.

What I did do to help them was I purchased those bathtub stickies.. you know the ones for no-slip in the tub. I was lucky to find shark ones at Gymboree (my boys love sharks) and I put them inside the TOILETS! My two youngest LOVED that!! They would pee for days on those sharks if their bodies let them!!

I would stand in the bathroom yelling "Pee on the shark!! Shoot him in the eye! Get him, get him, get him!!" They loved doing this and really were trained in no time at all.

I hope this helps :) If you can't find any good ones I think I have some sharks around here somewhere let me know :goodvibes: and good luck!
 
Does he have the desire to go to the bigger kids class? If so, tell him that if he works on potty training he will get to move up into a class with the big kids. Not a pressure thing, just a motivational thing. This worked for my friend's kid. THey told her she could go to preschool if she learned to pee pee in the potty and she was trained in no time. Good luck. We're just starting the whole process here.
 
Find what works. Keep trying things until you find the one "trick" your ds falls for. My DD was bribed and begged etc, nothing worked till we just stopped using diapers & pull-ups and put her in undies. She hated being wet and trained in about 2 days.

Nothing was working for my DS (here I thought I knew the "trick") we tried everything - M&M's, toys, happy dances, books etc. Then I mentioned that he could not switch to big boy school where they go swimming in the summer till he started using the potty. Wouldn't you know...he hopped up 15 min later and said he had to go "potty" and never wore diapers again. We had to take a trip to the water park to celebrate!!

Just saying...keep trying things. Your DS will surprise you one day and you can do the happy dance for :cool1: yourself. Just find the one thing that makes it worth it to him.
 
Good Ol Gal said:
:wave2: I have 4 kiddos, 3 of them boys... all of the above advice is true! My oldest trained himself in 1, yes 1 DAY at 26 months! My dd took alot longer..a LOT LONGER! My other two ds both started showing intrest at 24 months so I started trying.

What I did do to help them was I purchased those bathtub stickies.. you know the ones for no-slip in the tub. I was lucky to find shark ones at Gymboree (my boys love sharks) and I put them inside the TOILETS! My two youngest LOVED that!! They would pee for days on those sharks if their bodies let them!!

I would stand in the bathroom yelling "Pee on the shark!! Shoot him in the eye! Get him, get him, get him!!" They loved doing this and really were trained in no time at all.

Cute idea- I used Cheerios :thumbsup2
 
My DD turned 3 in Dec., and seemed to have no interest. And we have been trying for sometime. We finally accepted that we had to wait for interest to be there. We bought Princess underwear and toys in advance as rewards, but it still took a couple weeks before she came on board to the idea. And within a few days of her first true potty, she was going on her own.
 
My DD wasn't potty trained until she was nearly 4. But when she decided she was ready, it happened practically overnight. I never really stressed about it - she wasn't in daycare or anywhere else which demanded that she fit into their schedule, and I was fairly sure she would be out of diapers before kindergarten. :)

We had a chart on the back of the bathroom door, and every so often I'd talk to her about going potty and if she went, she got to put a sticker on the chart. If she had a whole row of stickers, she got a prize. If she filled the whole chart, she got to go to Chuck E Cheese. :)

She didn't take to it for the longest time - she was never the kind of baby who cried over a wet diaper, she couldn't have cared less! :rolleyes: But when she finally decided to use the potty we filled up 2 or 3 sticker charts in about a week without a single accident! :goodvibes

It took her a bit longer to get off them at night - but IMO that's all a matter of muscle control so we didn't push that at all. She wore pull ups to bed for a month or two until we knew she was ready. :thumbsup2 That was the only time Fiona ever wore pull-ups. They never did her much good because she'd be totally content to wear them wet all day without saying a word about it! :crazy2:
 
my daughter is physicallty ready but I cant get her to actually pee on the potty. She is dry all night and dry most of the day. she tells me she needs to pee usually during her peeing......if I catch her before,I can get her to sit on the potty but she will sit there forever and not pee, even though she needs to go! its driving me nuts!
 
With both our boys they trained closer to their 4th birthday and trained quickly when they were ready. We've had almost zero accidents. My younger one has a few because he is diabetic and sometimes has to pee much more than the average kid.

With our oldest he absolutely would NOT train and we finally realized - once he did move to the next class at preschool - that it was because the younger kids shared a communal bathroom. Once he got into the upper class they had private bathrooms with a door to shut and he trained immediately! He never let on what the issue was for him but in hindsight it seems obvious that was his issue. No amount of bribing worked for him.

I like everyone's suggestions! I think it best to give incentives if he wants to take advantage of them. Keep the training light-hearted and fun and don't worry about what everyone else is doing. My friends who pushed their kids to train early often had many more problems (accidents) well into their kids 4th year.
 
After spending years training my child with special needs I decided the next two would have to do it themselves ;) No pressure. When DS was 3 and everyone else was going to preschool.....he was not. So a few weeks after school started he asked why he couldn't go. I said because you still wear a diaper, school says 3 year olds must go in the potty. Still no pressure because it was too late to enroll. Guess what, from that moment on he never wore a diaper, not even at night. It was totally his decision and control issue. Wish I had explained to him sooner, he could have gone to school. DD was 2 in preschool and so I told her before her 3rd birthday if she didn't give up the diaper before the end of summer, she could not go back to school. Took her a few weeks but she also was out of it quickly. I guess my thinking is.......I didn't push them.......but at 3 they are totally capable of understanding and making the decision. They did and we never had accidents. Their body was ready, they just had to make the choice.
 
I've trained seven. Believe me the more you push the less success you'll have. I have had one trained at 22 months and one who almost was 4. You really need to wait until they are ready. When they are ready I find they train very easily and quickly without a lot of accidents. It doesn't matter if other kids are moving up to a different class you just need to wait until your child is ready. Some kids will always do things faster, some kids will do things slower. Nobody goes to kindergarten in diapers! (BTW the one who took the longest (almost 4) has made the dean's list every semester since he started college (he's a sophmore) so don't stress about it!
 
My sil was in the same situation you are with my nephew last summer. He couldn't move up in preschool with his friends unless he came back to school fully trained in September. Turns out it was more important to her than to him! (not saying that is your situation) Once he was ready it was very quick and he did train in time but it was sooo close!!!

What she did was use the new pull up's they have with the "feeling wet liner" and at first she used them just like diapers for about a week without pushing the potty. She didn't even mention it, but evidently these pull ups don't keep the kids dry inside the pullup just outside so they can feel the cause and effect.

By using them he got the idea of how it felt just before and then during and after. By the second day if he went in the pull up he wanted it off quick so my sil would help him change. Before the end of the week he was asking to use the potty, sometimes he would have gone a little in the pullup and then do the rest in the potty other times he made it. Another thing that helped him was a litte privacy, he did not like her in the bathroom and did better alone. She would of course follow up and make sure everything was in its place and he washed up properly.

Once my sil backed off a bit and used encouragement for success and ignored wetness or accidents things went very quickly. She switched to training pants the second week and then underwear. No tears and no stress after she came up with the plan and stopped pushing.

Good luck!

TJ
 
Boys are harder than girls! My son was 3 ½ when he was trained. His doctor told me he should be trained by the time he was 4. They need to be ready. We ended up putting him in underwear all day, and would change his clothes after a few minutes of him seeing how uncomfortable it is. I would never criticize him, only tell him he was wet and let's get changed. When he did go in the potty, lots of praise and a sticker on the potty chart! We went through a ton of laundry, but in a week he was trained. You just have to stick to your plan.
 
Definitely be patient! We used Gummy Bears as a reward, and one of my friends used Stickers. You have to find out what motivates him. Also there are some stores that sell automatic 'targets' (an led target that lights up when the lid is lifted). DS5 did pretty well with 1, but 2 took forever for him to become comfortable with.
 
I was another one who basically waited until DD & DS were ready. Once they "wanted" to go, I bought a child's seat that fits on top the regular toilet seat. This seem to save me from the horror stories I had heard about switching to "The BIG Potty". I worked well for us. I didn't use a seat in any other room, they knew they had to go in the bathroom, on the regular toilet from day 1. You can find these a Walmart, Kmart, Target, Toy's R Us etc. At first we did use a step stool so they had a place to put the dangling feet!
 


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