OT: Please help me...In desperate need of Potty training tips....

[DougM1965]

I'd have to agree with most of the advice given. Our 4 sons were all potty trained at different ages. I think our biggest trick was to put them in undies in the summer time. They didn't like the wet feeling. Rewards with a Hershey Kiss were common too.

 

[scouthawkk]

We bought DS books about using the potty. We also used "toy points." I made up little cards with crayon pictures of toys on them. Every time he used the potty, he'd get one. Once he collected a certain number of toy points, he got to turn the cards in for a new toy from the toy bag. The toy bag was just filled with little things from the $1 store (that he picked out, by the way). Worked great (and helped him learn to count at the same time)!

When we first switched to pull ups (used the ones that he could tell when he was wet, and had the designs on front that disappear when wet) we went through a bunch of them. But it wasn't long before he came home from daycare in the same one we sent him in with. They used them just like underwear. Then after about a week of that, I got a call from his teacher telling me to send in a few pair of underwear, so we went to the store and he got to pick out his very own big boy underwear. And we haven't looked back. He is now 3 1/2, and has been trained for over a year.

We did wait about a month or two to have a big boy party for him, just incase he decided he wasn't really ready to fully give up the pull ups. But when we had the party (grandma and grandpa came over) we got rid of the "baby potty" as he called it, and graduated up to the seats that go on top of the big toilet, and he got to throw away all the left over diapers and pull ups (well, some of them, we actually donated most of them to the cause at the daycare center for the other kids in training).

Had no problem training him to stand to pee, either. On our first day at Disney last August, while I was checking in at the campground, DH took him into the bathroom, decided to give it a try, DS stood on DH's toes, and has been standing ever since. Of course he was so excited afterwards that he came running out and yelled at the top of his lungs "mommy, I peed standing up!"

Now if only we can get him to wipe himself a little better after the sitting part...in due time...

 

[Jay Foster]

I disagree with what was said. You are the parent and allowing a child to tell you when the child is ready is just silly. Who is the parent here? I mean, is everyone trying to say that I can potty train a puppy who is just a few months old easier and quicker than I can train a child?

Try John Rosemond's method. You can search him on the internet for the method and it is not very much different than how our parents trained us.

 

[GoofyGirlie]

i have to agree that you can't make them go potty!!!

my dd was about 38months when she first peed in the potty,,she turned 3 in jan 05 and then got blues clues undies in her easter basket that march!!!

she wanted to wear them and i hestitate since we were taking a trip to grandmas,,but i let her and then when we got to grandmas,she had to go potty and asked for a diaper and i lied and told her i didn't have one,,she peed on the potty and from there kept going,,we had our accidents and times when she wanted back in her diaper,,but i stuck to my guns,,did the rewards,,everytime she peed she got a sticker and for the first ten stickers she got a toy and then 15 more stickers another toy,,she was very much into care bears back then so it wasn't hard to coerst her there!!

BUT i truly believe in when they are ready they will go!!

I can't believe that the preschool won't let him move up to the 3yo cause he isn't potty trained,,,i know my preschool said they want them to be potty trained but they don't not move them up,,BUT they also won't change diapers,,unless of course they have too


just be patient and don't push it,,the more you push the more he'll rebel!!! try the rewards thing and see how it goes,,i know others who did the naked thing for two days,,let him run around naked and in two days their kids were trained,,its messy but worked for them

you have to find what works best for you and your ds,,just because this worked for us doesn't mean it will work for you type thing

good luck and lots of patience!!!

dawn

 

[polly p]

Kids will potty train when they are ready. When it came to my last child, I knew she was ready but she didn't want to take the time. So, I went to the store to buy diapers and came home with underpants and rubber pants. I told dd the store had NO MORE DIAPERS. this was all we had to wear. She trained in 1 week. It was a bold idea, but it worked.

 

[Alex2kMommy]

My oldest son was completely uninterested when his daycare teacher said it was time to potty train. The more she pushed, and pushed me to push him, the more resistent he became. Shortly after he turned 3yo, he moved up to the next class (where they just expect the children to be potty trained, or take care of the mess themselves), and he miraculously began working on the potty training.

We sent him to school in underwear with plastic pants over them, and I think he was surprised when the teacher A) didn't make a big deal out of the accident, and B) left the clean-up to him. The first week he had many accidents, but we could tell he was really trying. They were fewer toward the end of the week. After that he would still have the occasional accident.

Now I am a stay-at-home-mom with my kindergartner and his little brother, DSnearly2. I am dreading potty training on my own, but plan to do the big-boy underwear with plastic pants over and see how it goes. I'm still waiting for him to show interest in potty training, which he really hasn't yet. And even if he did, I would definitely wait until after our Disney trip next month!

 

[dsnygirl2006]

WOW....Thanks so much for the advice and tips you guys....I am feeling better, much better.... I am definately going to try some different approaches and see what happens, thanks again, you guys rock!!!

 

[DisneyMomx7]

I disagree with what was said. You are the parent and allowing a child to tell you when the child is ready is just silly. Who is the parent here? I mean, is everyone trying to say that I can potty train a puppy who is just a few months old easier and quicker than I can train a child?

Try John Rosemond's method. You can search him on the internet for the method and it is not very much different than how our parents trained us.

You seriously can't be comparing training an animal to potty training a child. As most respected pediatricians will tell you it is their body, and one of the few things they have complete control over. What does it matter if a child is 20 months or 40 months in the grand scheme of things. I can't imagine driving myself or my chlid that crazy over something the WILL definitely happen. What is the problem about waiting until the child is ready. They walk when they're ready, they talk when they're ready - somethings just take time.

 

[mouseplanner]

I didn't read all the other posts so forgive me if this is a repeat in any way....this worked for both of my sons, at ages 2.9 years and 3.2 years, and they were both trained within 5 days. If a child is truly ready to train it shouldn't take more than a few days. First I started by reading books to my son about the potty and then watching this great video "It's Potty Time" about a boys birthday party and kids learning to use the potty. The video has catchy songs that my son would sing around the house. Then I just went cold turkey - I told him that he was too big for diapers and that starting on Monday he would be wearing big boy underwear. We went to the store and he got to pick out character underwear. I chose a week where I could stay home and concentrate on helping him be successful in using the potty. He wore the underwear, we had lots of accidents (i didn't get upset just told him that next time we had to move faster and make it to the bathroom), it was a messy few days, but in the end, he knew the diapers were not coming back and by the third day he was having mostly successes. I hung a chart in the bathroom and every time he was successful he got to pick a sticker and add it to the chart and he also got a few m&ms. Within 5 days both of my kids were trained this way. I only used underwear during the day, pull-ups (which are basically diapers) were only for overnight. Good luck!

 

[Torontogal]

Thank you for asking this. My son turned 3 in Jan. and has no interest in the potty. I have tried rewarding him with stickers, having him watch his 6 yr. old brother, etc. Nothing works. He will sit on the potty but will NEVER pee in it. I want to get him trained before Oct. We are going on a DCL cruise and for him to take part in the Oceaneer's Club with his brother - he has to be trained. I am getting really stressed about this. Should I get rid of diapers - get him into pull ups or simply underwear?
HELP!

 

[jodifla]

I think you have to think about what will best motivate your particular child. Here's what worked for us: After a couple of failed attempts, I told him that after our next big vacation, it would be the end of diapers. The day we got him, I kept him naked below the waist. He picked that up right away, consistently using the potty, but didn't want to segway into wearing underwear and keeping that dry.

So then the new rule became: Whenever we had an accident, all the fun stopped. We had to leave what we were doing, go to the bathroom, get cleaned up, get new clothes, etc. I made sure this took as long as possible. After a few times of leaving favorite activities (and me turning the TV off), he decided it would just be faster to use the potty.

We were done within the month, and he was 3 1/2.

 

[Jay Foster]

Thank you for asking this. My son turned 3 in Jan. and has no interest in the potty. I have tried rewarding him with stickers, having him watch his 6 yr. old brother, etc. Nothing works. He will sit on the potty but will NEVER pee in it. I want to get him trained before Oct. We are going on a DCL cruise and for him to take part in the Oceaneer's Club with his brother - he has to be trained. I am getting really stressed about this. Should I get rid of diapers - get him into pull ups or simply underwear?
HELP!

This took 2 days total for me and it worked: Here is part of John Rosemond's method. Trash the diapers and pullups and undewear (temporarily on the underwear part ). Have the child wear nothing, no underwear, no pants, no anything. They will not like having an "accident" that runs down their leg and they will learn very quickly and you don't have to change diapers or have the mess any longer. Take off work on Friday and do this for 3 straight days. Search John Rosemond and you can get the complete method.

And DisneyMom, yes I am comparing a child to a puppy. The child is much smarter than the dog and certainly can learn as quicker and easier. Are you saying a child is not as smart as a dog? I hope you "seriously" are not saying this.

And finally, if you actually look at the studies (which I will provide to you if you like), in the 1960s most children were potty trained by 2 years of age. But because we all want to be a friend to our child instead of a parent, now this trend is up to 3 and even 4 years old and there is no reason for it.

 

[DisneyMomx7]

Of course I think a child is much smarter than a puppy. I also think they have many more emotional issues than a dog. I teach a child to eat with a fork or a spoon, I don't just stick a bowl of food under their face. They are two different things.

I had one child who was trained before she was 2, I had another who was almost 4. Both are now adults and doing equally well. Most pediatricians do not feel it necessary to push children into potty training. Gently leading seems to work so much better. There are a lot of things parents did 30 or 40 years ago that we had learned didn't work out quite so well. You can still be the "parent" and not the "friend" and take a more laid back approach to potty training. Since I've trained 7 I think I speak from a point of experience. All children acheive control of their bodies at different ages, the same way they learn to talk, walk and ride a bike at different ages.

I do agree with you though that having them go without diapers or underwear for a few days (when they are READY to be trained) is one of the quickest ways to help them along.

 

[Jay Foster]

Of course I think a child is much smarter than a puppy. I also think they have many more emotional issues than a dog. I teach a child to eat with a fork or a spoon, I don't just stick a bowl of food under their face. They are two different things.

I had one child who was trained before she was 2, I had another who was almost 4. Both are now adults and doing equally well. Most pediatricians do not feel it necessary to push children into potty training. Gently leading seems to work so much better. There are a lot of things parents did 30 or 40 years ago that we had learned didn't work out quite so well. You can still be the "parent" and not the "friend" and take a more laid back approach to potty training. Since I've trained 7 I think I speak from a point of experience. All children acheive control of their bodies at different ages, the same way they learn to talk, walk and ride a bike at different ages.

I do agree with you though that having them go without diapers or underwear for a few days (when they are READY to be trained) is one of the quickest ways to help them along.

Well, if "all children" achieve control of their bodies at different ages, etc., then how do you explain why most children in the 1960s were potty trained by 2 years old? Today, the trend is 3 and even 4 years old before they are potty trained. Did "all" 2 years olds back in the 1960s have better control over their bodies than our children do today?

 

[pigletof4]

I started training my son when he was about three. I started at bathtime and progressed from there. Everytime the water was running in the bathtub, he had to go. Then when he accomplished that we progressed from there.

HTH.

 

[CharmedLife]

1. Many pre-schools are not licensed for children who need diaper changes (hygiene issues). That is why many of them REQUIRE children to be potty-trained. They're not being mean, it's just the licensing issue.

2. I am almost done training DS2 right now (34 months). With DD5, we took the "wait for her to decide" approach. It took 5 months, constantly going back and forth, success then failure, etc. My father came to visit and decided that we were being wimps about it (his words). In 1 day he had her trained. She loves my dad and so followed him around all day long. He made sure she drank a lot of liquids, and every hour he would announce "potty time" and she'd have to go sit on the potty. She was also wearing undies, not pull-ups. Seriously, that did the trick. Now, I'm not discounting the 5 months of preparation we put in, but he finished it off.

Now with DS2, we decided to just go "cold turkey" based on lots of friends' advice. During the day DS is in undies, at night (and naptime for the time being) he is in pull-ups. I took off on Friday to stay home so we'd have 3 solid days of it. Day 1 - 4 accidents, no successes. Day 2 - 2 accidents, one success. Day 3 - 1 accident, 4 successes! We are now pretty much accident-free. Haven't started working on naptime or nighttime yet, I want to really have the daytime part down first. But we just can't believe we wasted 5 months with DD.

So - my advice is to get some Resolve (carpet cleaner, that is ) and lots of undies. Put him in pants that have elastic at the ankles (to contain the mess!) and socks. This will minimize your mess. We carried around a bag with us for a few weeks loaded with extra pants, shirts, undies, socks and wipes, along with an extra plastic bag to put messy clothes in. Only had to use it twice.

My son never minded a dirty diaper, but he does NOT like dirty undies. 3 days did the trick for us.

Good luck!

 

[DisneyMomx7]

Well, if "all children" achieve control of their bodies at different ages, etc., then how do you explain why most children in the 1960s were potty trained by 2 years old? Today, the trend is 3 and even 4 years old before they are potty trained. Did "all" 2 years olds back in the 1960s have better control over their bodies than our children do today?

I did ask our pediatrician why children seemed to be trained later than my generation - his response was that many of the kids weren't really trained incredibly early, the parents were. I followed my pediatricians advice and it all worked fine. Of course I was pretty laid back - it didn't really matter to me whether my child was 2 or 3 when they trained. Like I said before no one goes to kindergarten in diapers. My older ones all ended up doing very well in life (great grades in college, no drugs, no trouble of any kind really, and all are very socially and morally responsible) so does it really matter who trained at 2 and who trained at 3 1/2. After all you can't control everything in their life! Good luck to all who are going through potty training!

 

[HiddenMickey3018]

I can relate this so much! My DD potty trained so easily, of course they say that girls pick this up so much quicker than boys. I used the magic bowl color discs. I placed a green one in the bowl and told her that it would turn the water a different color like magic, it worked like a charm. My middle DS I used fruit loops I dropped them into the bowl and told him to shoot at them, he loved it, but it did have its down points as well, I was the only mom I knew that carried a small box of fruit loops in her diaper bag to be used other than for eating! Our first two kids were fully potty training within two weeks. It was so easy I did not understand what all the problems were. Until I had our last. He's 3 and potty training him was a BIG issue. He did not take to any of our ideas. He tried to dish the fruit loops out of the bowl to eat instead of peeing on them. I needed to get him trained within a months time, which we did not meet that deadline. I would sit him on the potty after breakfast, and he would stay there for at least an hour without doing anything at all. He would have a good morning and bad afternoons. He was even hiding his underwear around the house so he would be able to wear his pull ups. Then one day, I stopped being pushy and just kind of relaxed, I allowed him to call the shots. And then I noticed him going to the potty to pee twice a day, and then five times a day, and then he got it! But doing number 2 was still a big issue. He kept going in his pants. It was becomming an even bigger problem but, after about 2 months of that, one day he said he had to go potty, so I took him, he sat there peed, and then he said, "wait, I'm not done" and that was it. That was over a month ago, and he as been accident free ever since. I wanted him to start pre-school after Christmas this year and he was not able to because he wasn't trained. He just started last week. I had to let go, and allow him to call the shots. It is his body and it was up to him on learning how he read it. Now, he's perfect with going to the bathroom. He pees standing up, and he even puts the seat down. The only advice I can give, is just be patient, award him as much as possible, even if it's his favorite candy. But understand that he will eventually get it. Plus, also understand that you have to relax because you never know, he may be changing yours one day! Good Luck

 

[Jay Foster]

I did ask our pediatrician why children seemed to be trained later than my generation - his response was that many of the kids weren't really trained incredibly early, the parents were. I followed my pediatricians advice and it all worked fine. Of course I was pretty laid back - it didn't really matter to me whether my child was 2 or 3 when they trained. Like I said before no one goes to kindergarten in diapers. My older ones all ended up doing very well in life (great grades in college, no drugs, no trouble of any kind really, and all are very socially and morally responsible) so does it really matter who trained at 2 and who trained at 3 1/2. After all you can't control everything in their life! Good luck to all who are going through potty training!

I'm not clear on what your doctor means. In the 1960s, most 2 year olds were potty trained. Now, it is taking up to 3 and 4 years before a kid is potty trained. There simply is no reason for this. Certainly, as I pointed out, 2 year olds back in the 1960s did not have better control over there bodies than 2 year olds do today. Is your doctor suggesting there is some sort of biological or evolutional reason for this? If so, I'd like to know what it is.

 

[jodifla]

I'm not clear on what your doctor means. In the 1960s, most 2 year olds were potty trained. Now, it is taking up to 3 and 4 years before a kid is potty trained. There simply is no reason for this. Certainly, as I pointed out, 2 year olds back in the 1960s did not have better control over there bodies than 2 year olds do today. Is your doctor suggesting there is some sort of biological or evolutional reason for this? If so, I'd like to know what it is.

No, the difference was you had stay-at-home moms who could devote themselves to sticking the kid on the potty every hour. That, combined with cloth diapers that are less comfortable, made the difference, according to my MIL. She said that there was tremendous pressure in the 60s to have your kid potty trained by 2....She also told me it was the moms who were trained at that age, not the kids.