OT: Please help me...In desperate need of Potty training tips....

[momamy]

Potty pills. I kept a jar of candies in the potty everytime she went i gave her one. (told her they were special pills for going on the potty) once i started we thru out bthe pullups. I nagged her every hour to sit on the potty after about 3 days she started telling me its time to go. after a week i switched from potty pills to a super foamy handwash!! she loves to keep her hands clean now lol

good luck all!

 

[mouseplanner]

I believe kids were trained earlier in previous generations because diapers were not disposable!! If you had to wash dirty diapers or pay to have them cleaned today, I'm sure we would also be training our kids earlier!!

Although I firmly believe in going cold turkey and going straight to regular underwear (which worked for me), for those of you who are really afraid of the mess (or have expensive rugs!) they sell something called "training pants". I found them in Target and they are cloth underwear (you can get them with designs, but not usually characters) and they are reinforced in the crotch area so the kids will definitely feel the wetness (more than in a pull up) but there is enough absorption that leaks down to the floor are rare. My son didn't like the feel of them so they didn't work for me.

 

[DisneyMomx7]

No, the difference was you had stay-at-home moms who could devote themselves to sticking the kid on the potty every hour. That, combined with cloth diapers that are less comfortable, made the difference, according to my MIL. She said that there was tremendous pressure in the 60s to have your kid potty trained by 2....She also told me it was the moms who were trained at that age, not the kids.

My pediatrician told me the same thing about it being the moms who were trained not the kids. My MIL believes my DH was trained at 6 months - can you guess who was really trained? I think parents today don't feel the pressure moms in the 60's felt as if having an early trained child made them a more "perfect" mother. I've been a stay at home mom for many years and had kids trained at all different ages. I never thought that either early or late training really reflected on my mothering skills.

This push that some people have equating early equating to "being the parent" seems like "putting their foot down about potty training". It feels creepy to me.

 

[Merriwind]

I think that a big part of why kids trained so much younger when we were kids is because of the difference in diapers. Cloth diapers and even the early incarnations of Pampers were messy and, I'm sure, uncomfortable to wear. Think of all those layers of cloth wrapped around your thighs, privates, backside and then having it sopping wet, heavy, yuck!

Kids are aware of those unpleasant sensations long before the ages of three and four and I think that is what inspired many kids to go on the potty at a much younger age than they do now. There is no discomfort or unpleasantness with wetting or soiling yourself in today's ultra-absorbent, never feel wet diapers. So, for kids today, it's no big deal. Certainly, it's more fun to keep playing than to interrupt for potty runs.

I had a friend when we lived in NY who only used cloth diapers with her three kids. Let me tell you, her two girls trained at around 18-19 months, her DS was just short of two. I really believe that the yuck factor helps speed the training. Plus, they are 15, 11 and 7 now and there was not endless regressions, accidents, backsliding or any of the doom and gloom I've read can result from early training.

Although it might be messy and inconvenient, if moms really want to push a kid towards training, I would ditch the Huggies, at least during the day. Buy DD or DS some training pants or cloth diapers. They are not going to like it--but that's the point! Let the yuck factor help speed the training process. It's still their decision; you're just offering additional factors to the decision-making process.

That's my only advice, nothing from the battlefield, as DD8 just starting going one day. She was completely trained a couple of months after her second birthday. So, I am thankful for our easy training and completely in awe of those of you who struggled but still got your kids trained.

Good luck to all of you struggling with potty issues. My Dsis is really suffering with her 3yo DS. She will sit him on the potty, nothing, he will stand up, walk away, pee and laugh, laugh, laugh. Then she puts his diaper back on. They've done this exercise about six times. I clicked on this thread looking for some advice for her.

Good luck!

 

[Alex2kMommy]

I think it's great that there are forums to go where people can give input on what worked for them and what didn't. And keep in mind that what works for one child may not work for another...even within the same family!

Don't get stressed out about it (like I did!), it doesn't help anything and just makes you crazy. Eventually it will happen, so just go with your gut.

The bottom line is to try something that works for YOU as well as your child. And if the first thing you try doesn't work, try something else.

 

[Cinderumbrella]

I just want to say thank you for starting this thread. We are in week 7 of potty training and what started out great, has gone rapidly down hill.

I have gotten some great suggestions here and am ready to try them!!

Thanks again!

 

[cornflkgrl]

I did ask our pediatrician why children seemed to be trained later than my generation - his response was that many of the kids weren't really trained incredibly early, the parents were. I followed my pediatricians advice and it all worked fine. Of course I was pretty laid back - it didn't really matter to me whether my child was 2 or 3 when they trained. Like I said before no one goes to kindergarten in diapers. My older ones all ended up doing very well in life (great grades in college, no drugs, no trouble of any kind really, and all are very socially and morally responsible) so does it really matter who trained at 2 and who trained at 3 1/2. After all you can't control everything in their life! Good luck to all who are going through potty training!

I bet you have very happy well-adjusted kids with that great healthy and positive parenting method. I hope I can be that confident and stress-free when my ds starts using the potty!!! It is nice to hear an opinion from someone who is more relaxed about their child's progress and not in a big rush.

 

[cornflkgrl]

This took 2 days total for me and it worked: Here is part of John Rosemond's method. Trash the diapers and pullups and undewear (temporarily on the underwear part ). Have the child wear nothing, no underwear, no pants, no anything. They will not like having an "accident" that runs down their leg and they will learn very quickly and you don't have to change diapers or have the mess any longer. Take off work on Friday and do this for 3 straight days. Search John Rosemond and you can get the complete method.

And DisneyMom, yes I am comparing a child to a puppy. The child is much smarter than the dog and certainly can learn as quicker and easier. Are you saying a child is not as smart as a dog? I hope you "seriously" are not saying this.

And finally, if you actually look at the studies (which I will provide to you if you like), in the 1960s most children were potty trained by 2 years of age. But because we all want to be a friend to our child instead of a parent, now this trend is up to 3 and even 4 years old and there is no reason for it.

First I don't think dogs are all that smart. Second, I would not treat my child like an animal because he is a child, not an animal. Third, I think making your child run around naked with his own feces running down his leg to serve as a punishment for not having control of his bowels at the age of 2 is cruel and wrong. I would not and will not pressure my child to do something he is not ready to do. The "I'm the parent, I should be in charge attitude" is not appropriate for little ones and best reserved for when your children are purposefully defiant....I do not believe not using the bathroom is a willful act on the part of the child. Also, you quote the 60's as being something we should look at as guidance in parenting.....let's remember that in the 60's there were no car seats, women drank and smoked when they were pregnant, babies were put in walkers with wheels that could go tumbling down the stairs, not necessarily the best comparison.

 

[Jay Foster]

No, the difference was you had stay-at-home moms who could devote themselves to sticking the kid on the potty every hour. That, combined with cloth diapers that are less comfortable, made the difference, according to my MIL. She said that there was tremendous pressure in the 60s to have your kid potty trained by 2....She also told me it was the moms who were trained at that age, not the kids.

Well, given that it takes about 2-4 days to work, I don't see the problem at all except for one thing: we started changing our attitudes to become friends with our children instead of being a parent.

Cornflakegirl,

Great! We agree. Dogs aren't all that smart but a dog can learn how to potty much quicker than a child. Doesn't make a lot of sense does it? Think about that for a minute before you start rolling your eyes at me. I mean really, does that even have any logic or common sense to it at all?

As to quoting the 60s, what does any of what you posted have to do with this subject? Nothing. The bottom line is parents understood they are parents back then. Of course, most of the current studies saying the child should be in control were sponsored by the diaper companies. You think there might be a little bias there?

 

[DisneyMomx7]

You seem to be the one always talking about the 60's.

Did you ever hear of "pick your battles" or do you always have to be in control?

If you haven't noticed your ideas seem to be out of the main stream. If its what you want to do and makes you happy fine. However, you keep saying that if the child is allowed to wait until they are ready to be trained it must be the parents wanting to be a friend to the child instead of the parent. I think that is ridiculous.

BTW my grown children are VERY WELL ADJUSTED, happy, independent and functioning quite well in society. I'm sure you wouldn't be able to pick out which one was trained before the age of 2 and which one was almost 4. We have a great relationship, and there was never a question of who was the parent.

Cornflkgrl was just pointing out that what seemed to be normal in the 60's was later found to be harmful in some cases. Can't you see the relevance in her response to your constant harping on potty training techniques from the 60's?

 

[cornflkgrl]

Well, given that it takes about 2-4 days to work, I don't see the problem at all except for one thing: we started changing our attitudes to become friends with our children instead of being a parent.

Cornflakegirl,

Great! We agree. Dogs aren't all that smart but a dog can learn how to potty much quicker than a child. Doesn't make a lot of sense does it? Think about that for a minute before you start rolling your eyes at me. I mean really, does that even have any logic or common sense to it at all?

As to quoting the 60s, what does any of what you posted have to do with this subject? Nothing. The bottom line is parents understood they are parents back then. Of course, most of the current studies saying the child should be in control were sponsored by the diaper companies. You think there might be a little bias there?

All I can say to you is I feel sorry for your poor child with that kind of pressure being put on them they are likely to hide any kind of shortcomings later in life and not share a whole lot with you for fear of being ridiculed. I'd rather be my child's "friend" as you put it and have them confide in me and tell me when they are troubled or need help than be afraid of what I might think/do because I am the big mean menacing parent and I might get angry, so they end with major problems like pregnancy or drug addiction and I'm the last to know. This was the relationship my bestfriend had with her parents growing up and she got pregnant in highschool and went to an abortion clinic without her parents even aware that she was pregnant because she was so isolated from them, I had a great relationship with my parents and we were and are friends and I have not had any problems! To each their own. I will support my son and when he is ready I will help him. I'm not going to force my kids to do things they aren't ready for just to satisfy my own ego and make myself look powerful and in charge as the parent. If that makes me a bad parent, then I guess I am a bad parent.

 

[DisneyMomx7]

cornflkgrl I pm'd you.

 

[Jay Foster]

Let's see, most of the people in the 1960s were potty trained this way (and I'm not aware of a study showing that this generation needs more counseling because they were potty trained by 2 years of age). I was trained this way. John Rosemond trained his kids this way. I am happy and "well-adjusted" and having fun in life. I really don't understand all the rolling eyes and saying how cruel I am and how I ridicule children. It seems people cannot have a discussion without resorting to baseless comments. By the way, where did I ever say that I ridiculed children? I'm literally laughing out loud about your comments.

By the way, the people that train their dogs on how to potty at a young age, are they cruel to their dogs as well?

Disneymom, I never said your children won't be wonderful, happy, and well-adjusted. Is there somewhere that I said this? All I'm saying is that there is simply no reason at all, based upon any scientific or psychological evidence (in fact, most of the studies not sponsored by diaper companies say there is no reason at all not to do it) that children cannot be potty trained by 2 years old or even younger in some instances.

In fact, the method promoted by Rosemond left my entire family (including children) with much less stress and the process (for us anyway) wasn't stressful. Took 2 days. Not a big deal at all.

 

[DisneyMomx7]

So I guess all the pediatricians who advise parents to wait until their children are ready are co-conspirators with the diaper companies.

As I said before, if this is the method you want to use that is your business. Most parents seem to feel differently and I object to you saying that is because they want to be their child's friend instead of their parent.

Everyone has a different opinion. My opinion is that your method seems more an issue of control than training. I would not have used that method. My laid back wait until they were ready approach worked for us. My kids were (once they were ready) trained in about 2 or 3 days with minimum accidents.

I also was just pointing out that in the long run does it really matter how soon or how late a child was trained? As I stated my child that was 3 1/2 grew up just as well as the one who was trained around 2.

 

[mouseplanner]

Wow! Haven't checked this thread in a while and see that things have gotten a bit out of hand! Kids are kids....they are all different....times are different....families are different....bodies are different....I think everyone has to decide what method is going to work best for them, their child and their family and then go for it! My dr. always said there are three things you cannot force your child to do: sleep, eat and go to the bathroom! Good luck everyone!

 

[Jay Foster]

I also was just pointing out that in the long run does it really matter how soon or how late a child was trained? As I stated my child that was 3 1/2 grew up just as well as the one who was trained around 2.[/QUOTE]


Not at all DisneyMom, in fact, I think we agree on most of this (we just disagree about "when" which is okay and for me, it has nothing to do with control, you just do it and it works and wasn't that big of a deal). But, I was called:

1. Cruel. A bit over the top, don't you think?
2. I ridicule children. Same as 1.
3. You said "I'm out of the main stream." And I merely pointed out this issue was not that big of a deal back in the 1960s. It is only now with the changes in attitudes that it has become such a big deal and obviously a very emotional issue for some when I am called those names (and no I'm not accusing you of anything at all so don't take it that way).
4. I was told (without any evidence whatsoever to back it up: see the 1960s kids who don't have such problems) by inference, that my children will now have "shortcomings in life" due to the early age potty training. This will lead to their "drug addiction", their failure to tell me about their pregnancy and abortions. I think you and I agree that this comment was a little over the top, right? I mean, this is so silly, I literally laughed out loud at it as well. Shortcomings in life because of early age potty training????
5. I was told that I "forced" my kids to do this to satisfy my own "ego" and to "make myself look powerful." Again, I think we both agee that this was a little over the top, right?
6. I am also the "big mean menacing" parent. Again, a little over the top, don't you think?
7. I have yet to see any study that was not sponsored by the diaper companies that proves training children at an early age from the 60s was harmful to them. If cornflakegirl can provide it, I'd love to read it. Again, I'm not aware of one study that says the 60s generation is in more counseling because of it. I'm certainly not. My Mom wasn't. My Dad wasn't, etc.

As I said before, it seems these days you cannot have a discussion with resorting to name-calling and baseless comments. I certainly hope you don't agree with all of that. It doesn't really matter, but if I had said all of those things about someone in person, I think that you and I can agree that I certainly would have to render a serious apology to them, right?

By the way, check out Rosemond. I think you would like his ideas, nothing real different than how our parents raised us.

Peace and may Mickey and pals give you some great fairy dust on your next WDW trip.

 

[Merriwind]

I really don't see the need for any sort of unpleasantness, accusations, name calling and the like. The OP simply asked for potty-training tips.

People don't have to agree on their approach to potty training. What works for one may not work for another. Some parents let their children completely control the entire process; other parent want more of a hand in it. No big deal--everyone winds up potty trained. We don't have to applaud how others do it--but nor should we attack others' methods.

I came here looking for tips to pass on to my Dsis, but am saddened by the tone this discussion has taken. We all know by now that Jay Foster embraces the Rosemond "go naked" method and that DisneyMomX7 and cornflkgrl believe in the "they'll go when they're ready" approach. Fine. I am glad that your respective approaches worked for you.

Please, can we stop bickering about this? Remember, the OP just wanted potty training tips!

Thank you, stepping off the soapbox now.

 

[cornflkgrl]

I also was just pointing out that in the long run does it really matter how soon or how late a child was trained? As I stated my child that was 3 1/2 grew up just as well as the one who was trained around 2.

Not at all DisneyMom, in fact, I think we agree on most of this (we just disagree about "when" which is okay and for me, it has nothing to do with control, you just do it and it works and wasn't that big of a deal). But, I was called:

1. Cruel. A bit over the top, don't you think?
YOU were not called cruel. Go back and read again. I said that method of letting your child run around naked with feces running down their leg was cruel, in my opinion.

2. I ridicule children. Same as 1.
Find where I said you ridicule children. I said in my opinion children that have a lot of undue pressure placed upon them will be AFRAID of ricicule later in life. Again, please read.

3. You said "I'm out of the main stream." And I merely pointed out this issue was not that big of a deal back in the 1960s. It is only now with the changes in attitudes that it has become such a big deal and obviously a very emotional issue for some when I am called those names (and no I'm not accusing you of anything at all so don't take it that way).
4. I was told (without any evidence whatsoever to back it up: see the 1960s kids who don't have such problems) by inference, that my children will now have "shortcomings in life" due to the early age potty training. This will lead to their "drug addiction", their failure to tell me about their pregnancy and abortions. I think you and I agree that this comment was a little over the top, right? I mean, this is so silly, I literally laughed out loud at it as well. Shortcomings in life because of early age potty training????

This one is totally off. What I said was that I personally believe (again, this is an opinion about the method not about you personally) that putting too much pressure on a small child will teach them to fear the parent and not want to tell them things later on. I NEVER EVER said that early potty training causes drug addiction and I NEVER said that you would have shortcomings BECAUSE of potty training what I said was that children that fear their parents may not want to tell them any faults or shortcomings they may have (and by the way, we are all human and we all experiance failures and shortcomings).

5. I was told that I "forced" my kids to do this to satisfy my own "ego" and to "make myself look powerful." Again, I think we both agee that this was a little over the top, right?
6. I am also the "big mean menacing" parent. Again, a little over the top, don't you think?
7. I have yet to see any study that was not sponsored by the diaper companies that proves training children at an early age from the 60s was harmful to them. If cornflakegirl can provide it, I'd love to read it. Again, I'm not aware of one study that says the 60s generation is in more counseling because of it. I'm certainly not. My Mom wasn't. My Dad wasn't, etc.

I never once said that training them early WAS harmful. I simply pointed out that you are citing the 60's as evidence that it is a GOOD thing and I have not seen data to that effect either so if you find that I wouldn't mind reading it.

As I said before, it seems these days you cannot have a discussion with resorting to name-calling and baseless comments. I certainly hope you don't agree with all of that. It doesn't really matter, but if I had said all of those things about someone in person, I think that you and I can agree that I certainly would have to render a serious apology to them, right?

By the way, check out Rosemond. I think you would like his ideas, nothing real different than how our parents raised us.

Peace and may Mickey and pals give you some great fairy dust on your next WDW trip. [/QUOTE]


In summary read carefully before you get so defensive. I do not care when or how you train your child that is your business. I do not agree with comparing a child to an animal and I do not agree with the method you are suggesting but that is also up to you. I really don't have an opinion about you personally, I do not know you but I do have an opinion about the method you are talking about and I think the method is a cruel way to train a child and that is just my opinion.

 

[ksumn1]

I started reading this thread because I am in a similar position with my 2 1/2 yr old. And I found quite a few tips that I think will really help me and my DD. But I also think that it would be nice if you could state your tip, website, link etc and be done. I really love the DIS but it seems like more and more frequently even everyday simple questions turn into a he said she said debate or attack. I thought this was supposed to be potty training tips not an argument about which method is better, worse, what age you should train, why we train too late, too early, why the 60's were great or the 60's suck. It's really sad to see such a simple topic turn into a debate. I know everyone has an opinion and is free to share it but why does almost EVERYTHING have to be cause for an argument?

 

[tara98]

My son appeared to be trained at about 2 1/2 yrs old, then all of a sudden just stopped, so we droped the issue. All of a sudden, about a week after his 3rd Birthday, he WANTED to go on the potty. I think he was just ready. Also, one of his cousins who is only about 6 months older than him made a comment "ewww, you still wear diapers!!".. and I think this made him get a move on too!