OT Need advice in Kindergarten for dd who misses cut off.

MY two oldest children are both July babies and the cutoff was middle of August.

We went ahead and let them go and they both are doing excellent. MY ds is now 11 and in 6th grade and is academically and socially doing fantastic. My dd is 9 and in 4th grade and the same goes for her. My dd does put more pressure on herself for academics then my ds does. Ds excels in math and science and I was told to go ahead and let him move forward.

Everyone has to make the right choice for their family and each individual. You know you child better then anyone else. My other dd is 6 and was a January baby. She would not have been ready because she is shy and gets upset easily and her feelings hurt over comments then my first two did.

Good luck w/your decision.
 
OP - I feel your pain. All 3 of my kids b-days are close to the cut off and ahead of their peers academically. Is there the possibility that you could send her to the private school and then if things don't work out socially, send her to K at the public school? If they do work out - then by all means keep her going. I am considering doing that in two years for my youngest DD.

Or - is there a possibility you could homeschool? I haven't seen anyone else suggest it. That's what I ended up doing with my DS. He started reading at 3.5 and was so bored at preschool he was labeled disruptive. He lacked the social skills and maturity to really handle being so far advanced. Our public school's gifted program/resources are non-existent in a 1/2 day K program. Enrolling him in a regular K program was a recipe for disaster and a sure fire "disruptive" label again. Really, there is only so much repetition and boredom you can expect a child this age to be able to tolerate. Being at home has allowed him to go his own pace and now he's even further ahead. I'd consider pursuing a grade skip to 2nd next year, but that doesn't seem right when most boys his age (and even slightly older) will only be entering K. And the academics still wouldn't be challenging. I've recently called around to local private schools and the tuitions are just daunting. I may reluctantly continue to homeschool, but I know it is in his best interest.
 
I had my son, whose birthday is late October, in preschool till 5. I really thought it through and decided 5 going on 6 would be the best kindergarten age decision. I opted for this because he was smart articulate however he lacked the leadership skills I thought he had. He was always feeling a little ackward around the bigger kids, not speaking up in class. The following year he grew a ton in confidence; he is definately a leader now. I cann't even see a reason or benefit to have sent him earlier now. Hope my story helps you.
 
Sorry if this isn't the right place to post this but my Dh & I are pulling our hair out. DD will be 5 in Nov. missing the kindergarten cut off by a little over 2 months. She has passed the pre test for K and could probably pass the test for 1st. We have found a private school that will take her for K in Sept. Our issue is whether or not she will fall behind maturity wise down the road. DD has no problem interacting on any level with any age. Has anyone had any experience either way?Either waiting it out or putting them in ahead? Thanks in advance for any advice.

As a middle school teacher, if my child did not make the cut-off I would never try to circumvent it. Although they may do fine in teh short-term, some major social/emotional gaps pop up in middle school. Middle school can be such an emotional pit of quicksand that I would not give my child that disadvantage. Middle schoolers can be really cruel and students (especially girls) need all the wits and maturity they can get.

As a former K teacher I would also not push them ahead. There is so much more to be learned then colors, numbers, shapes, reading, etc.
 

My 2 cents is that you should go ahead and start her early, privately if necessary. I was an October baby, and started K at 4, back in the dark ages. If anything, I would have been better off skipped another grade or two, if you judge by who my friends were in HS. By Senior year, all my friends were *gone* off to college and 1/2 of them were gone when I was a Junior. I was bored and ended up underahieving big time. And I didn't get my license until I was 19! Oh, and I got breasts over one summer, so I was teased mercilessly -- wouldn't have mattered *which* summer -- but you can't control when girls get ****s ...

If you are seriously considering holding her out, I would suggest that you have her assessed by a pyschologist to get an idea of her IQ level. The Stanford Binet V is the best choice at her age (though you will commonly be offered the WPPSI-III, which is the "baby" test to the WISC-IV). If she comes out with an IQ of over 135, I would move *heaven and earth* to get her into K "early", especially if your area does not have a self contained gifted program. If she is under 120 or so, then maybe, maybe, depending on the services available in your area for bright/moderately gifted kids, she would be OK started at the age based time.

Skips later are hard to get in many places and will mean switching peer groups ... that is a problem. And the biggest plus of starting her early privately is that if she *isn't* doing well in year, you can send her to public K, no harm, no foul.

Good Luck.
 
I truly believe it all depends on the child. My ds missed the cuttoff here in Illinois by ONE day. He is curreltly the oldest in his class and is doing well. There were people that pressured me and suggested I send him to private school, but dh and I knew that would not be the best thing for him. Only you knows your child well enough to determine if he/she is nature enough socially/academically to handle the transition into kindergarden.
 
What a timely thread! Anyone have experiences to relate regarding twins?

DH and I are trying to decide what is best for the kids - b/g twins...The cut-off in our school district is 12/31, and their birthday is mid-September. They have been in daycare since they were 4 months old. They are now in the pre-k room, and have lessons everyday. My DD is ahead of her brother in terms of intelligence (she wants to learn) and behavior. My DS would be happy to play all day - doesn't want to be bothered with letters or numbers or anything that might require him to concentrate for more than a few minutes. BUT they are very very close. We feel, and her teachers concur, that DD would do fine in kindergarten this fall. My DS would really benefit from the extra year. We won't separate them at this time. The true nursery or preschools in our area only offer 1/2 days, 3 or 5 days a week. I feel that won't be enough. They are already used to a full day learning environment. Our only option, at this point, is a transitional kindergarten program for 4 1/2 - 5 1/2 year olds. offered by a private entity. That will cost about $1,900 per month (September-June) for both of them: and they are looking for a committment from us NOW.

I know we have 7 more months for my son to possibly mature, but I think it would be more emotionally harmful for him if he is held back and she goes ahead without him.

Such hard decisions!

I know we have


I have b/g twins and we were somewhat in the same boat. Birthdays at the end of May and 9/30 cut-off. Our public schools have half day pre-k and we sent them to that and then to their private preschool the other half of the day. Mid-way through the pre-k year it was looking as if the boy might need another year and the girl was more then ready to move on. I did not want to split them and to complicate matters we have another DS a year younger who would be entering pre-k the following fall. That would have the two boys together. :sad2:

TwinDS did go on to k with his sis and we separated them for the first time. It was doable because his pre-k teacher moved to K and we made sure he was in her class and his sis was across the hall. They are in 2nd grade and so far so good. I know that this probably isn't really helpful, but I share your pain. Next year the twins move to the next elementary school and I am already worried about whether to put them back together or not. TwinsDS does not do well with new environments.:scared1:
 
I haven't read all the replies, but I just wanted to add my two cents. I started kindergarten at 4, and turned 5 in november. I was mature and ready at the time, and only my parents "evaluated" me lol. They just kept in touch with my teacher so if I fell behind she could let them know and they would take me out.
I did great in K and every grade after that. I never ever felt out of place in my grade level. It's true I got my driver's license halfway through junior year of high school, but alot of kids wait awhile before getting their licenses (or their parents make them wait) and I really didn't get it too long after them. I actually drove everyone around senior year most of the time. I also started college at 17... for three months! then I turned 18 just like everyone else; those three months didn't make any difference in my opinion.
If you DD is mature and ready at this time, as others have mentioned, she might be incredibly bored or frustrated if you hold her back another year. I would have been bored to tears if I was a grade behind, not only academically, but because I was more mature than most of those kids. I am also very small in stature, but this was never a problem cause some of the oldest kids in the class were just as short as me. Kids hit puberty at a wide range of ages, and I bet your daughter will be in that normal range even if you put her in "early". Again this is a two month difference, not an entire year.
Take into account that gender does make somewhat of a difference in this situation. Girls generally emotionally mature faster than boys, and hit puberty sooner than boys. Physical size is also less important for girls, so it is not neccessarily important to be the largest in the class.
If all else fails, would it hurt to just try it? Start her in kindergarten and see how it goes. At least then you won't have to worry about the "what-ifs".

One good thing about being one of the youngest in my class was for my parents. Senior year of high school they never had to worry about me fighting and wanting to do things with the argument that "I'm 18 years old I am an adult!", because I wasn't yet. Lol believe me I heard my friends have those arguments with their parents all the time.
 
I symathize--it can be an agonizing decision. However, if my kids missed the cut off, especially by two months, I seriously doubt that I would even consider sending them.

Our situation is quite different. DD is a middle-July baby and our cut off is August 1, so she made the cut off. She's a social kid, had no problems in preschool, was on the track to reading, is bright and inquisitive, all that stuff.

When it was time for sign-up, my MIL and SIL (elementary school teachers), told us to consider waiting a year. At least in our area, kg is what first grade used to be, 1st is the old 2nd, etc. They both said that even if she did great in kg she might have some issues in 2nd and 3rd when the workload really starts to get tough (and I've seen the 3rd grade work firsthand and it's brutal). I talked to EVERYONE I could, including DD's preschool teachers, the elem. principal, and my mom (a retired elementary teacher). They all agreed that there was absolutely no harm in waiting and there could be harm in sending her at barely 5.

That made it a no-brainer for us, especially hearing it straight from the principal. We waited until she was 6 and we are so glad we did. She's ready for school in every way possible. She loves it and is learning so quickly. The only negative is that the immaturity of some of her classmates can annoy her at times, but that can happen with all ages and grades. ;)

Way back in the "days of yore," I was the youngest kid in my class. It didn't hold me back in any way-I had great grades, enough friends, a good experience. But, that was then and school is not the same now. I think another year to be a kid is a great gift to a child. And don't forget that if you do send her, there will be kids like mine in her class that are months and months older. It makes a pretty big difference at that age.

Just MHO. Good luck deciding.

I totally agree with this. All of my children were born in the summer months. DD7 is the end of July and I held her. DS5 is the beg of June and I held him. He will start kindergarten this year. We just had another baby mid July and will probably hold her as well. I think it has been alot easier for DD7 because she is an older 1st grader as opposed to a younger 1st graders. She's also in a mixed class room with 6-9 year olds as she goes to a Montessori program. When we met with the teacher in November for parent teacher conference, she was a little behind in reading, but on schedule with everything else. I'm hopping come next week when we meet again that she is at her reading level. She's just taking a little extra time. I would hate to see how far behind she would be if she was a younger 1st grader. Don't rush them, they are only young once.
 
My DD missed the cut off by just 2 weeks. I think it was fine for her. She could have done the school work if we put her in but she was a little more timid than I wanted her to be. My DS on the other hand....if he had missed the cut off I would have pushed to put him in the older class. He is way ahead of most of the kids in his grade now so I know it would have been really bad if we had waited.

I guess I'm saying that it depends on you child. Judge her emotional level now and I bet she stays about the same compared to others as she gets older.

Good Luck!!
 












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