OT Need advice in Kindergarten for dd who misses cut off.

[Aristomommy]

I know your dilemma, since I was there a few years ago. DD has a Nov. birthday and her Pre-K teacher recommended we started her early due to her physical size and she was academically ready. Age cutoff wasn't an issue since it was a private school. We had her tested at the time (for our sake, not hers) and she was in the 98th percentile for everything except fine motor skills which is typical for that age. We decided to start her in Kindergarten with the understanding that she may repeat the grade if needed. She did fine and we proceeded to first grade. I found out that starting a grade doesn't ensure challenging work if your child is gifted or needs more challenge in general. She had a great 2nd grade teacher that allowed her to write poetry when she was done with a reading assignment or allowed her to read more difficult chapter books instead of the curriculum books.

Now this year I am running into an issue that I posted recently about, not sure if it's a maturity/age thing or just DD's issue regardless of age. I do worry about high school and feeling left out when it comes to driving etc. since she is a year or more younger. But I am 90% happy with our choice. There are pro's and can't to all situations and you are a good parent for educating yourself. If you decide to keep her in Pre-K though, make sure you have a setting where she is challenged or she may become bored and start acting out. Good Luck!!

 

[scouthawkk]

Our DS(4) misses the new cut off date by 11 days (this current school year-2006/2007-is the first year for the date change to Sept. 1. Previously it was Sept. 30). As soon as information is available about assessing him for "early" admission, we are signing up for a test date. He is already further ahead in everything in his preschool class, and we feel it would be in his best interest for him to begin kindergarden this August. His teachers think he is more "school ready" than the other kids in his class. As for being younger than the rest of his class, I'm not all that concerned. I was younger than everyone in my class, and still did fine. As others have mentioned, the biggest difference between me and my classmates was that they were able to drive before me. Never made a difference to me, I actually liked walking and using the public transportation (my mother was legally blind and stopped driving when I was in 5th grade...and my father lived in another state, so had to use the transportation anyway).

Besides, at his 4 year check-up, his doc looked at the skills/abilities forms they have us fill out and was concerned that we hadn't gotten him into kindergarden for this current school year...until he realized that he had only just turned 4! Then asked a ton of questions about his preschool to make sure he would be challenged enough...so, kindergarden, here we come...

 

[december]

My son's birthday is July 13, and the cutoff here is not until September. He is very smart (in Gifted classes), but he was small at the time and in speech classes. We opted to put him in preschool for another year. People (as in my family) didn't understand why I would pay for an extra year when I could take him to public school with me (I teach) for free. But I have never regretted it. He is in 3rd grade now. He is one the the tallest in his class, makes straight As, and has tons of friends. No older kids are ruining childhood illusions for him. He gets to be a kid for an extra year of his life.

My family still says we should try to "skip a grade." We are happy where he is. And so is he. He will be the first to drive and vote. My sister was the youngest in her class, and she was socially behind all through school. Waiting a year worked out best for us. Why rush to make them grow up?

As for being bored-you can come up with alot of activities at home to keep them interested in learning.

 

[disneymomej]

My DS's B-day is 1 month before the Aug. cut off. I made the decision long ago (he is only 3 now) that I will wait until he is 6 to send him to KG. He is a very bright child, but I would rather size, and emotionally that he were the one on top of the ladder, instead of the little one holding on to the last wrung.

I have no doubt that this is the right choice for him.

 

[ilovejack02]

http://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Preschool-Wise-Educational-Preschoolers/dp/0971453284

This book has a chapter about how to know if your child is ready for Kindergarten or not. Ill try to find my copy and give you a short rundown on what it has to say.

http://www.gfi.org/java/jsp/article35.htm
http://www.gfi.org/java/jsp/article34.htm

 

[powellrj]

I was the youngest in my class and hated it. I was 16 in my senior year while most of my classmates were 18.

Fast forward to my kids. My oldest DS only made the cut-off date by 4 days so we decided to wait to send him. He was bored in school, but he was the same size and age as his classmates. Which made it easier for him socially at school.

My middle DS made the cut off date by 3 months so there was no question he was going to school. He is still one of the youngest in his class. What made it worse was he was in AP classes with seniors when he was a freshman. His classmates were 18 and some were 19. He was only 14 and we had girls at our door who we thought we there to see our oldest DS. Nope sorry, but at 19 you can't date my 14 year old.

There are more parents holding their kids back these days for sports so that only makes it harder for younger kids. Just because your grade schooler is doing well, middle school and high school is a whole new battleground. Do a search of queen bees and mean girls. Every day there are posts from moms about how hard it is for their kids to handle middle and high school.

Its easier to find ways to keep them from getting bored than putting them in class situations with kids that are much, much older than they are.

 

[monorailsilver]

Move to CT. Our cut off is December 31st or Jan 1st, I forget.

My oldest is a May baby so it isn't an issue (she is in K now). My middle ds is September & when he will be 4 when he starts K & will turn 5 later that month & my youngest is a March baby, again no issue.

I myself am an October birthday. The only thing I hated about it was when I got older & everyone was driving but me, but then they had to drive me around & pay for gas & work while I was still 15.

My neice is a December birthday & she is 9 & she just doesn't like being the youngest in her class. Otherwise with her peers she is fine socially but she has problems in math but my oldest neice also has school problems but she is in 9th grade & a May birthday.

My dd has a boy in her class that was born in Sept 2000. All the other kids are 2001 birthdays so that boy is much taller then many of the kids too & older by a year then others.

 

[disneymomto5]

Just my opinion of course. Three of my children have similar issues. My first son (who is now 16), has a July birthday and we started him in Kindergarten after he turned 5. I wish we had held him back, because when he was ready to graduate from 8th grade and go into High school, he was extremely small compared to other kids and emotionally very immature. We decided to send him to private school for 1 year and repeat the 8th grade. It was a real waste of time for him, but I don't regret it. He's much better aligned with his classmates now that he's in the 10th grade. The next son turned 5 in February and we purposely held him back because he seemed very immature to me and he started kindergarten at 6 1/2. I don't regret one second of it. He's adjusting fine. My daughter will be 5 in mid September, and I won't be sending her to school as a 4 year old. She can wait a year until she's more mature. They're only little once, and let them be kids. Also everyone who was ever held back that I talked to had no regrets, but many people who sent their kids early did. Just my 2 cents.

 

[Twingle]

I will pass on the short and sweet information that I got from numerous doctors, teachers, principals and guidance counselors:

It is MUCH easier to advance a child a grade if they need it, then to hold them back a grade when it is required.

Don't send them to school just because they meet the cut off. It is just a general date that the school system has to have - which is why they change so much for county to county and state to state.

Our decision with all our children is to have them wait the extra year. They are going to be grown-ups waayyyy longer than they are children. My husband and I decided not to rush it!

 

[Every_other_year]

While I have not read everyone's response I will share my experience.
My son missed the September 1st cut-off by one day. B-day is Sept.2. I am so glad I did not push it.

He is more mature and comfortable. He loves school and being one of the oldest he really takes a leadership role in the classroom.

Good luck with your decision!

 

[lastminutemom]

I live in Atlanta where the best private schools (the ones that are worth every dollar and have national reputations) won't take any child with a summer birthday for kindergarten even though they say the cut off is Sept 1. Keep in mind that studies show that children who read early are not usually the best readers by second grade.

Don't just be guided by your child -- use common sense as well. One friend said that a psychologist said you don't want your child to be the youngest when they get their driver's license -- you can teach your child to drive but you won't be teaching their friends.

Nowadays, many people hold back their children with late birthdays. If you push yours forward, she could be 18 months younger than the oldest child. That is huge. In this case, the age of the other kids will eventually be a huge advantage.

 

[daisyduck123]

It depends on the child.

My DD (August b-day), skipped 1st grade.
It was absolutely the best things for her.
It worked out best in all respects - academically, socially, etc.

She'll finish middle school this June at 12yo & start 9th grade this fall.
It was a perfect move for her.
It helps that she is very mature emotionally & physically (5'6" tall).

She was very mature emotionally in Kindergarten & the principal/teachers could see that.

 

[MiniGirl]

We're in Florida, and the cut off date is 9/1. Our oldest was born on 9/8, so she missed the date by just over a week. We found a private school here who tested her and were happy to have her. She would have had to attend this school for 2 years and then could transfer to the public schools in 2nd grade since the cut off date would no longer apply. We went back and forth about what we should do. Our daughter is very bright and we had no doubts that she would succeed academically. However, she can be quite young (read immature). Ultimately, we decided to wait and send her to school when she was suppossed to start. What made our decision was when we started thinking long term. See, many parents around here hold their summer children back a year. They feel giving them that extra year gives them a bit of a head start. If we had sent my dd to K a year early, she'd be in class with kids a full year (or more) older than her. Some of her friends, well classmates anyway, would be driving and she'd still be 14. I didn't want her to be in that situation.

We're happy with our decision. Our dd has become a leader in her class and her teacher has told us that she looks out for the younger ones -- not letting people pick on them on the playground, etc. She is doing great academically as well. In fact, the teacher has a bit of a challenge keeping our dd challenged. Because students can dual enroll in the community college while in high school, we fully expect her to graduate from high school with a year (or more) of college credits under her belt.

Good luck with your decision. Obviously, there is no right or wrong answer. Just the one that is best for your child.

 

[Tosie]

My dd missed our cutoff by 6 days. I thought about private school, didn't want her to go that far away, and decided to trust the kindergarten teacher's advice to wait.

Dd taught herself to read and do simple math in preschool. She has an older brother and is somewhat mature and very well spoken for her age (I attribute part of this to him).

She is absolutely thriving in kindergarten this year. Her teacher tells us she is advanced in all areas and is an eager learner. Her teacher is able to spend one on one time with all the students throughout the week - so during that time she can work on things with dd that challenge her.

I am glad we waited as I feel it's better to have an advanced, confident child than one who may face struggles later on.

 

[macmahony]

All of my girls are very late august, middle of september birthdays, with our cutoff being Oct 1. My oldest could of done kindy this year, with the middle who could of gone next year. We decided to wait a year, and I am so glad. That means our oldest will start kindy next year, and turn 6 a few weeks into school, and the middle one will start the next year, and also turn 6 a few weeks into school.
I have done TONS or research, tons of talking to teachers, principals, and every parent I could. I have yet to speak to ANYONE who regreted holding there child back a year, only people with the other regret. We also don't have any friends who sent there kids either, we have about 7 other familes who also choose to hold off a year.
My girls are all very smart (aren't all our kids), and I am not worried about them being bored, there are a million ways to engage a child, to keep them learning, but once they start down that road of not wanting to go to school because of whatever reason, that is much harder to fix. I would wait, why push it, plus, if I read the post right, and remember correctly your childs birthday is a few months after the cutoff. You can always push ahead if you need to but to be held back, can be devestating for any child!
good luck

 

[crisi]

I've heard that boys are often held back (because of sports and size issues) while girls are often pushed forward. Which tends to be true in our district, boys with summer birthdays (our cutoff is September 1) will often be held back, while there are a bevy of girls with September and October birthdays trying to get exceptions.

(Another factor in our decision, our district almost never grants exceptions - it would have to be private school and transfer in - that can be a huge cost).

 

[SummersMom]

I would not press the children to start earlier than they have to. My dd is academically very bright. It was suggested because of her academics far surpassing other kindergarders and 1st graders that I should investige skipping her a grade. She is in 1st grade now, and I would never have thought about skipping her because of social issues. I do have to push the school to continue to challenge her, and she is still bored at times. But I work with the middle and high school kids and know all the issues they are dealing with. For me, I rather have her be bored now then not have the abilities to handle the tougher social situations when she's older due to being younger than her peer group. Why do we need to race the kids to get into school only to get them out sooner to join the work force? Let them keep their innocence as long as they can.

Ditto that - very well said! I would not push the issue. I think a lot of children are ready for Kindergarten on the academic and social levels, the problems don't come until they are 13 or 16 or even 18 years old. Talk to the administration and faculty at the schools, I think most people involved with schools would tell you that you are much better off to hold a child back rather than push them ahead.

 

[kanga24roos]

Cut off in our area is 9/30 my 2nd ds missed by 2 weeks. He was extremely mature for his age and very eager to learn everything his older brother was learning in school so we found a private pre k program the ran like a k and moved him to public school for his regular kindergarten. He is doing great. He is a quick learner and because so many parents are keeping kids home longer he is not the oldest in his class.
Now my 3rd ds has a bday in mid Sept. and will go to kindergarten when he is eligible. He is now in a 3 day a week pre k and our k is 5 : 1/2 days so I'm actually looking at it as more or less the same type program for 2 years one I have to pay for one I don't. I'm sure he will be one of if not the youngest in his class but by having two older brothers and one younger brother he is quite used to how to behave in groups, and if he is having serious problems in K I would consider having him do that again rather than sending him to 2 years of pre k.

 

[mom2aredhead]

My DS has an early November birthday, and the cutoff for NYC public schools is DECEMBER 31st. Meaning, he will be starting kindergarten when he is 4. We also have middle school so when is is 10 starting 6th grade, he will be in a NYC public middle school with 13-14 year olds. I want to keep him back until the following year, but from what I understand it isn't an option here.
I know I'm getting waaaay ahead of myself here, but there has also been talk of raising the age for a driver's license from 17 to 18. If they do that, he will not be legally able to drive when he starts college. I myself was a late October baby and made the cutoff by 3 days. I HATED always being the youngest in school, not being able to drive, couldn't legally drink in college, etc. One of my neighbors was 2 years older than me (early November b-day), yet was only a year ahead of me in school having missed the cutoff by only days. I was 13 in high school with 19 year olds
I think that the "powers that be" here believe they are doing parents a favor by having a late cutoff and making kids eligible for Kindergarten earlier, since it does cut out essentially a year of daycare expenses. I'm hoping to move before he starts school here anyway, which will then find me stressing over having to pay for an extra year of daycare. Can't win!

 

[laceemouse]

I agree with waiting. Most parents these days let their kids watch anything on t.v., listen to all kinds of trashy music, and dress like the latest pop princess form K on! By middle school they are all "going out" and all kinds of garbage like that. Why would anyone want to expose their children to that junk when they are so innocent?
That being said, three of our kids started "on time", they have spring birthdays, and were in gifted/advanced classes. AND, they still weren't challenged enough. They were bored stiff with moving at the speed of the rest of the class. This is the main reason we started homeschooling two years ago. We can choose our own curriculum, move at our own pace, and participate in whatever outside activities we are interested in. It has worked out great for us, but I realize it is not for everyone!
I also have heard that being ahead pre-school, reading early, ect. does not NECESSARILY mean that I child will be ahead academically a few years down the line. Let your kid be a kid a little while longer!