OT - Need a little help from my friends...

[TinkerBean]

July 9th marks the 5th year anniversary of the loss of my Mom to suicide. She was only 56 when she died. I miss her terribly.
Each year the week before the Anniversary of her death is horrible for me. I don't sleep, I cry all of the time and I pretty much retreat from the whole world. This year the only thing that has gotten me out of bed is working on the SWAPS...
I am already crying my eyes out today and it isn't even 8:30.

Here is where you all come in. You all have such great ideas for stuff. Has anyone put together an album of a loved one after they had passed. How did you do it? Did you title the pages? Did it help, or was it too painful...Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

Oops, gotta go drive Max to School - Thanks a bunch

Rhonda

 

[party of 3]

oh tinker i'm so sorry.
i wish i could just hug you in person. my heart is with you. please call if you need to talk to someone. we are ALL here for you. it's what we do. i wish i had better words.

 

[AlexWyattMommy]

You know you can call me!!

I've only completed one album in all my time scrapping and it wasn't even all done by me. I can't help with that part.

I will place an order with you for a kitty album. Iffen you need something besides swaps to work on that is.

 

[Kim1964]

{{{HUGS}}}

I have a couple of pages about my deceased parents in the book I am making about me for my kids, but they died in 1986 and 1994, so I think enough time has passed that I can remember them with a smile now instead of tears (at least most of the time). In general, I don't scrap things that make me sad.

 

[Mickster]

My grandfather passed away a few years ago and although I didn't make an entire album after he died, I did make pages for each kid in their album about him...so they would know him. I just titled it very simply and included pictures of his life and pictures of the kids with him. I was really hard, but I was so good to go through my life with him and really enjoy the times we spent together again. I still get sad thinking about him, but I know he's looking out for us.

I'm really sorry that your heart hurts right now. I can't even imagine. But know that someone is usually here at any time, so don't hestitate to contact any of us!

 

[SusieStone]

July 9th marks the 5th year anniversary of the loss of my Mom to suicide. She was only 56 when she died. I miss her terribly.
Each year the week before the Anniversary of her death is horrible for me. I don't sleep, I cry all of the time and I pretty much retreat from the whole world. This year the only thing that has gotten me out of bed is working on the SWAPS...
I am already crying my eyes out today and it isn't even 8:30.

Here is where you all come in. You all have such great ideas for stuff. Has anyone put together an album of a loved one after they had passed. How did you do it? Did you title the pages? Did it help, or was it too painful...Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

Oops, gotta go drive Max to School - Thanks a bunch

Rhonda

I can not even imagine your sadness. But, I am so sorry.

Before you came, DSs father died very unexpectedly. I have not scrapped his memorial album. I have pictures printed - some and beautiful pages done by the gals here which was so sweet. But, I haven't been able to put them in that book because if I do - I will have to say GoodBye all over again and I'm just not ready for that yet. I think this fall when it gets closer to the anniversary, it will be time.....Stone and I can sit down and laugh/talk and cry.....We will go to WDW for Halloween so we won't be reminded here.

If you can find that swap and the topics, it was really good stuff.

 

[MazdaUK]

So sorry for your heartache

My father died in 1994 when DS(14) was just three months old. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about the time of my first midwife appointment, and although you often hear people say "so and so did not deserve to die [like that]" for him it was really true. I dtill cry just typing this, more especially because although he saw his two eldest grandchildren for a few weeks they never knew him, and nor did my other DS or my sister's other 3 kids. I haven't done an album yet because, apart from the crying thing, he was the one who generally took the photos. My FIL also passed away young - he was 53 and died very suddenly, around the time my father was diagnosed so he never saw the kids either. But I did put a page in the album I did for DH's family history and got the kids each to write on a journal box what they would do/talk to their grandad about if he was around.

The album we did for Susie had some really sweet pages. Perhaps the kids could help you with their memories too? Its hard, I know. Eventually I'm going to find enough photos of him somehow and make a celebration of his life. But only a page at a time I think or I'll be good for nothing.

I'll light a candle on Wednesday

 

[DisneyIsTerrific]

Lots and lots and lots of hugs for you. I can't imagine how sad this time must be for you.

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

Oh Rhonda, please know we are here for you. I don't really have anything to add. The only memorial type book I did was for the dog, which was painful but it helped to remember the good times we had. It even made me laugh a little. Remember how she lived, not just how she died. Talk to people who knew her as a kid and teen. Get stories about what her life was like growing up.

And when you need us, we are just a click away.

 

[TinkerBean]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate everyone input. My mom only had one brother who died before I was born. There is very little family left, except for my siblings. It's been a tough morning, and I only anticipate that it will get worse, but I have been keeping myself busy doing some swap stuff (Mazda, Kicky will be very happy soon...)

rhonda

 

[ddavis860]

BIG HUGS TO YOU!!!

It's so strange how things hit you. My mom died suddenly a few years ago, and stupid things still make me cry...but honestly, the pics of her make me laugh. I know that isn't much help...

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate everyone input. My mom only had one brother who died before I was born. There is very little family left, except for my siblings. It's been a tough morning, and I only anticipate that it will get worse, but I have been keeping myself busy doing some swap stuff (Mazda, Kicky will be very happy soon...)

rhonda

What about friends? Are you anywhere near where she grew up?

You just stick around here this week, we'll all be here to help you get through it.

 

[Michellepooh]

So sorry that you are going through this Rhonda. I don't have any firsthand experience with what you are dealing with, but I just wanted you to know I'm here if you need anything. Even if it's just someone to cry to! I'm not too far from you so if you want to meet for coffee or lunch or something, just let me know.

 

[KatDisney]

Rhonda -

I am the same way when the anniversary of my Mom's death anniversary approaches. (August 4th) This year will be 26 years. I was 10 years old when she died of Cancer. I still remember the day as if it happened yesterday. Memories flood me, the pain, the heartache. I have very few memories of her the greatest memorys however are clouded with the time she was in the hospital.

I like you retreat into myself. The hardest part for me was my 32nd birthday. It was unfathomable to me that i should live to be older than she was when she passed away.

I have learned through the years to talk to her especially on the day she died. I tell her everything how much I miss her, how I am so angry with her for dying etc. It helps to a degree. I wish I had pictures to scrap of her, I have maybe 5 total pictures and a pie plate. I had to go to pawn shops to buy her wedding rings back that my dad hocked. (long story)

My thoughts and prayers are with you during this time. What i'd suggest is focus on all the good times you had scrap those memories. Anything you might think is small scrap it! Write her a letter every year and put that in your book, seal it in an envelope. You'd children will apprciate the memory album as well.

 

[aroyer]

I don't have much to add, but I just wanted to tell you that we are here for you! Lots of hugs!

 

[Tigger1221]

I am really sorry you are going through this. My dad tried to do this while I was on vacation but he survived. My thoughts are with you.

 

[New England Eeyore]

Big hugs, Rhonda. I'm sorry this is such a hard week for you. I'm close by too if you need a shoulder to cry on or a distraction of any kind.

I lost my Mom when I was 9 and my grandmother (my second mother) when I was 18. It's funny, but I was just going through my childhood photos this weekend to see if I wanted to start scrapping them and it brought up a lot more emotion than I thought it would. I don't have a lot of pictures of my mother by any means (she was always the one behind the camera) and unfortunately, like Kat, a lot of my actual memories are of hospitals and sickness. I haven't yet figured out the best way to memorialize both my Mom and Gram, but it is something I think about often. The irony is, and this gives me tremendous comfort - is that my Mom was a very crafty person. Scrapbooking wasn't really common back then, or she would have totally been into it. I've dragged my Dad into ACM on several occasions (to use an extra coupon ) and he always comments - "Mommy would have been in her glory here." I always knew how much I was like my Dad growing up, but it's only as I get older that I start to see different aspects of my Mom in me. (She was also a Disney nut!)

I do have something that might be helpful. My best friend lost her father to cancer a few years ago, and a few months after, she decided to create small simple scrapbooks for her brothers as Christmas gifts. She worked with what photos she had, but she included photos of him growing up, coming to America from Greece, their parents' wedding, and photos of him with each brother. There were pages for vacations and graduations and other significant events. He owned his own business and worked like 80 hours a week, so she also included pages about his work. She had all his old day-planners and found entries on them pertaining to each brother (like "Driving lessons with Chris," "College tour with Greg") and included those as well. It was very simple, but perfect.

I think if you feel you're ready to work on something, then it will probably become clear to you how to go about it. And if you're not ready yet, then give it some more time.

 

[NemoMom07]

to you. The closest person I have lost is my grandmother. I was 12. It is has been 25 yrs and when I think of her I shed a tear. I wish my son could have know her.

I have been in a situation with my son where I know he will be going before me. His life span is short due to his illness. He has beat the odds by 7 yrs. I do not know what is harder the unexpected of losing someone or the expected of losing someone. I do know that the memories are the most important. When I lose my son I will celebrate his life on every birthday with releasing balloons. I will do this with my 2 yr old son.

You will know when the time is right to scrapbook your mom. I have lots of hospital stays of my son. I have not yet scrapped them. Till you are ready keep her memory alive in your mind and heart. I know this sounds like a cliche, but I believe it really is true "time will heal all". It will get easier with time. With my grandma I was soooo devestated. Now 25 yrs later I do miss her, but the pain does not hurt as much when I was only 12.

 

[AlexWyattMommy]

I'm thinking about today.

 

[party of 3]

ditto!