I don't mean to sound stupid about this but I just don't know enough about it. So with term you pay for say 20 years.....then after that 20yrs. it's over, no more coverage and you lose everything you paid in for those 20yrs?
Yes, that's true. No different than your car insurance, right? And if you die during those 20 years, you get far more money back than you put in. Very simply, everyone throws their money in the pool, and only those who die get money out. If everyone wanted money back out of the pool at the end, the pool would have to be MUCH bigger up front.
If you want to treat life insurance as an investment, then look at whole life or universal life (where you will pay a HUGE premium compared to term, you can keep the policy as long as you want, but will have some equity that builds up over time - a very, very small amount compared to what you paid in, keep in mind).
Don't take my word for it, though. Go to an insurance agent and compare the costs of both types of coverage - and make sure that they show you "cash value illustrations" for the whole life or universal life so you can see how little you get back (keep in mind that they tend to be a little aggressive with the returns that they assume you will get over time - in reality, it tends to be less).
Then, run your own numbers. Pretend that you invest the difference between the term insurance premium and the whole life premium, assuming a modest return of 4-5%, and see how much MORE money you'll have in 20 yrs vs. the cash value illustrations.