OT: how to explain "naughty" behaviour

[Zeebs]

Hi am looking for some advice, there is a little boy in my sons class (5 and 6 year olds) who is Autistic.

My son has recently told me a few times that this little boy is really naughty in class.

Now I obviously know that a lot of his behaviour can probably be attributed to his Autistim.

What I want to know is how to explain this to my son, I don't want to make the little boy stand out as being different but I want my son to realise that there may be other things in play that make a difference to his behaviour.

I have already explained to him that despite his behaviour my son needs to be nice, and let him know his behaviour isn't appropriate if he happens to be around at the time. Is this the best I can or should be doing?

Kirsten

 

[Lisa71]

Just my idea, but let him know not all kids understand in the way and that hte other child is "learning the rules too". My older daughter does not understand at times why her brother may not be punished in exactly the same way, but he does not always understand what was expected. He is still redirected and she is starting to say things like "he doesn't know that yet, but he is learning".

 

[Forevryoung]

I work with special needs students- we view their behavior in terms of "making good choices"

Maybe explain to your son that he makes "good choices" every day- and give examples of those good choices (anything from listening to you when you tell him to do something, sharing a toy with a friend...).

His classmate still needs to learn how to make a good choice sometimes but nobody makes good choices ALL the time (then give your son an example of a time when he didn't make a good choice by not listening, or he hit a sibling during a squabble etc...)

We come full circle with the concept at school by reminding our students when they have the opportunity to make that choice (to do something positive or negative) to "make a good choice"

 

[bookwormde]

An important item to say is that behavior is communication, and for this child learning that communcation is more difficult.

 

[MSSANDRA]

DS has a friend (a family friend's child) that is autistic. Ds noticed the different behaviors in this child before he was three. We started by telling him that J's brain works differently that many children. There are many things he can do VERY well, and somethings that are VERY hard for him such as controlling his behavior. They have spent a lot of time together along with all the kids at out church and they just accept J for who he is and are all willing to help his out and tolerate a lot more from him than from other kids. We now (DS is five), use the word autistic and we have read and researched it with DS. Given information and understanding, most kid will accept where a child is coming from.

 

[Zeebs]

Thank you very much for you advice, I will try some of these with my children.

I haven't been on Dis boards since our trip to WDW last May but instantly knew where to come for help

Kirsten

 

[buffettgirl]

I tell my kids "don't worry about anyone else's behavior."

the end.

 

[of2dbeach]

My son is 18 and autistic. I would like people to know he is diffrent because he IS! he is one of the oldest of my 5 kids. he is the best thing that has happened to us . We always tell the kids to ask someone who is Handicapped about there disability instead of stare at them or asking me. I dont know all the answers but most of the time they will be happy to share it with you themselves. As for teaching a smaller child about Autism it can be hard. He knows the kid is diffrent and thats fine. he is trying to be a good friend. he may see he dosent get in trouble the same way as he would say the teacher giving him a time out for something but the other child being re directed. it dosent mean he is getting away with it he just dosent think the same. My kids say my son is a 18 year old with the brain of a 6 year old. i think that helps when he starts to jump and clap his hands out in public.People are much more understanding of Autism now then they were when my son was 3 and diagnosed. Maybe teach your son to be a "good friend" to this boy and help him to do the right things . The teacher should have a reward system in place for ALL kids and your son could ask to be this childs"Buddy" to help him stay on task. it would be a win/ win situation.Autistic kids are very isolated most of the time. They have a very hard time making friends. this child must have more of Aspergers then Autism because he is main streamed in a regular class room. I am glad you are helping your son to know the diffrence between being naughty and havng a disability where you can not control yourself even when you want to. There are a few books at the library to help your son understand Autism. it is very interesting to read about it ven though I live with it I am still learning as a Mother. big hugs to you both !