OT - Does this sound ok?

[Benducci]

My parents have watched my kids since they were born but My mom is ill right now & would like me to find other arrangements. So I thought of asking a neighbor whose daughter is in kindergarten with my twins if she would watch the girls. The twins would need everyday from 8:15am & to be put on the bus at 12. Talia would need 8:15 to 1 pm on Mon, Wed, Thurs. She is in pre-k on Tues & Fri. I would bring them over fed & dressed & supply snack & lunch for all the kids (including her daughter since 1 more doen't make a difference) My friend is having construction done this fall & will be out of the house & staying with her mom for about 6 weeks so I figured I would offer my house to her during that time so that she is close & able to keep an eye on everything. I would also have my van available for her touse if she needed to take all of the kid somewhere. I work in the next town so if there was a problem, I would be home in 5 minutes. I thought I would offer about $200- $250 a week. Does this sound reasonable? It really would be a temporary situation - just during the school year. Next summer we would have other arrangements. Please give me any insights, comments, advice, etc. Our familes are good friends because her son was in special ed with my girls for a year & now her daughter is in class with my girls. We get together at least once a week & talk a couple of times a week. I don't want to spoil our friendship but I would rather pay someone I trust to watch my kids than get someone I don't know. Thanks!

 

[mtemm]

the only thing I would suggest is not to be offended if she says no. all you can do is ask, though, right? just make sure you understand she may not be interested in the situation. to me, the school year is a long time, not something very temporary. while I might help a friend out for a month or 2, I wouldn't personally want to commit to a long term situation.

on the other hand, she may love it! hope it works out for you. and hope your mom is feeling better soon.

 

[va32h]

Personally, I always advise against asking friends to do extended childcare, even if you are paying them. The amount you are offering to pay is very reasonable, but anytime you mix business with friendship, it has the potential to get uncomfortable.

And child care is business!

If you do ask, I would ask very casually, and not let on that you have clearly put a lot of thought into the logistics of the situation.

To be honest, I would find it presumptuous if a friend came to me and already had an elaborate plan for how I could take care of their children.

Your neighbor may be looking forward to spending the time with her mom, and not want to come back into town to stay in your home. She might feel uncomfortable staying in your house for that length of time, or driving your car. She may enjoy having one-on-one time with her child and not want to bring more children into the mix on a daily basis.

Even though you are offering payment, it is really more than a favor between friends. It is several hours of care for three children, for an 8-9 month period.

Maybe you could start out by mentioning that your mother can't care for your kids anymore, and see if you can get a sense of how she feels about doing childcare in general.

 

[wewantmore]

Can I be your neighbor?

Sounds very reasonable.

And as the OP stated it's temporary as her Mother/child care provider now, is ill. I'm assuming she is saying temporary for the fact that she is planning on her mother getting better and again caring for the kids.

Anyway, I say ask, no harm in asking. And I think having everything 'planned' out if wise.

 

[java]

You know I watched a friend's son for free for about an hour a day for 4 months. It wasn't a big deal of time- but was a big deal when I had other things I had to do. I HAD to be home at those times to be there for him-he is the same age as my son. I don't know if I personally would do it again. And we are not really friend's anymore. It was slightly weird after the fact. But all in all it can't hurt to ask but understand that if she says no it can be for many many reasons- none of which involve how she feels about you and your friendship.

 

[stczt]

Sounds great to me. I would do it a heart beat. I kept my friends baby for 2 years. I started when she was 3 months. It actually made us closer friends since I saw her everyday. Our hubbys even got close. Then she moved to away

 

[Lizzy2]

I was a Nanny for several years after college so this sounds like a good way to make some$ at home to me but I'm used to having charge of someone else's kids. The key I think for you guys would be for you to be very careful of how you treat her. When I did it the lines were very clear as I was the employee and expected to be given directions and follow the parenting and care style preferred by the parents. If you are very particular about things and she is not or vice versa it could get ugly. The only way you are going to know is if you talk to her about it. My SIL had her neighbor take care of her son for his first year and they are still close and it worked out great. There must be ALOT of clear communication going on and ALOT of give and take.
Also, one thought, do you have a backup plan if she or one of hers gets sick?
This is one situation that can lead to some resentments even under the best of circumstances, as well. Good Luck! I wish you were my neighbor, too!

 

[wrldpossibility]

Well, I have a similar situation this school year. One of my good friends got a part time job teaching this fall, and when she said she was concerned about finding quality daycare, I told her (casually) that I would be interested if it worked with my kids' schedules. She researched all her options, and I am now watching her 3-year-old and 10-month-old 3 mornings a week.

It's working well, but we have had a few bumps, primarily because we are friends. She really wanted me to watch them full time, but I was not interested in that. Daycare is not a career for me; I wanted to be available to my children primarily. Also, when I wrote out a contract (thinking it would assure her that I took the job seriously), she felt insulted that I felt it was needed. So we had a few misunderstandings due to our friendship getting in the way of business. But we got past it fine.

If it helps, she's paying me $400 a month to watch the two kids from 7 am-1 pm M, W, and every other F. It's great extra $$ for me, and I'd be home with my youngest DS anyway. I would not do it for less though, since it is inconvenient when I need to go somewhere, and the logistics of picking up my Kindergartener is difficult. We worked it all out though.

Basically, ask your friend, but keep it casual. I don't know how I'd feel if my friend had asked me to do this (it was my idea). I may have felt that she thought I had extra time to spare as a SAHM or that I needed money since I don't work. Only you know how your friend might feel about these things. If she's said on many occasions that she wished she had extra vacation $$, or that her child had a friend to play with during the day, maybe it will work!

Good luck! I know it can be tricky between friends, but it CAN work out! It is really nice to have a close friend watching your child.

 

[lovesmurfs]

Sounds complicated, but it could work. Two years ago in the Chicago area we only paid $150/week for full time daycare.

When my son was little (8 weeks-2 yrs), our neighbor watched him for us. The only problem (and why we moved him to a daycare) is that she got upset if we came home late, or if she saw one of our cars in our driveway and we didn't immediately come over to pick him up.

Good luck.

 

[MinnieGi]

Is she looking for work? Or interested in child care at home? If not approach the subject carefully and know up front she may say no or even be offended for asking. I assume she is a SAHM, but that does not mean she actually stays home!!! I sure don't. I have a full schedule of activities already in place for the school year. And most of the other SAHM I know also do too. Having to watch somebodies children everday, even if it were just the morning, would have me missing time volunteering in my kids schools, taking my youngest to "toddler" classes like "The Little Gym," just getting my grocery shopping and errands done. I would decline for a full school year. However I'd definetly pinch in to help a friend for a few weeks or month or two.

Have you checked out area child care centers or even on site care at the school. I know my DD's school for kindergarten has before and after care and it is very reasonably priced plus they do enrichment activities with the children. Even your pre-k'er - do they have extended day or more days she could go. I know my kids preschool did and again they were in a very caring and learning filled environment.