OT- Did not get promotion

[mb_uh]

For 2 years I have been waiting for someone to retire. They finally did and since I have experience in every aspect of their job and I am extremely well respected we all thought I would get the job. I planned a deluxe trip just in case, but we did not tell anyone in case it fell through. Well our big boss went with "a man" someone who barely can do their job much less someone elses. I am so pissed and there is nothing I can do. I can not vent on FB to my friends because I know that would cause serious trouble for me. With the economy I probably can not find a job paying what mine does, or I would leave. I am not sure if we will take a budget trip or just wait. I just do not know what to do with my feelings and how to do my job and pretend that I was not wronged.

 

[collegejunkie]

i don't know your exact pain, but my mom sure does and i feel bad for her all the time. i'll tell you the same thing i tell her: stick it out, and someday someone will appreciate your skills, talent, and experience, even if it's not within the same company. when the economy is better, i'm sure someone would love to scoop you up and put you in a position you will be happy with.

 

[Shelly F - Ohio]

Just like PP stick it out. If the guy you said got the position is not that good at it maybe they will pick some else who knows the job. I know it can be fustrating to you but sit tight.

 

[ancestry]

So sorry this happened to you. I'm a pretty forward person and if it were me I would approach the boss and ask why I was looked over for the promotion. Instead of coming across as bitter or disappointed you could position it as though you are looking to improve your skills and are wondering what weaknesses he thinks you have since he didn't offer the promotion to you.

Did they know you really wanted the job? A similiar thing happened to a friend of mine and after approaching the boss about it he stated that he didn't know she wanted the job. The boss thought that she didn't want a promotion because of the additional time commitment which he had "assumed" she didn't want to deal with since she had young children at home.

 

[poohfriend77]

So sorry this happened to you. I'm a pretty forward person and if it were me I would approach the boss and ask why I was looked over for the promotion. Instead of coming across as bitter or disappointed you could position it as though you are looking to improve your skills and are wondering what weaknesses he thinks you have since he didn't offer the promotion to you.

Did they know you really wanted the job? A similiar thing happened to a friend of mine and after approaching the boss about it he stated that he didn't know she wanted the job. The boss thought that she didn't want a promotion because of the additional time commitment which he had "assumed" she didn't want to deal with since she had young children at home.

I think that's great advice! If your boss gives you a valid reason or constructive criticism about how you can improve your performance, then you can work on those areas and wait for another opportunity.

If the reason is lame, or your boss refuses to answer, then I think you should definitely keep your eyes open for a new job! It may be difficult, but at least you'll feel like you're doing something to make your situation better. It's no fun to work with people who don't value you.

 

[Trinity524]

I think it's important to ask for feedback from your employer. I would ask directly, What can I do in order to become a better candidate for the next time a position like this opens up? This will make it easier to find out why you didn't get the position and help them know that you want to be considered seriously next time.

 

[tlbwriter]

Been there, done that (except in my case, the person who was hired was so incompetent that I was asked to do her job anyway!). It really sucks.

 

[jedijill]

I'm in the same boat. The one management promotion this year went to someone that is in and out of HR because she feels discriminated against instead of me. There is a grieving period...I know it sounds stupid but there is. Don't let your feelings affect how you do you job. Take the high road and vent to your non-work friends. You never know when karma is going to take care of you...it will, I promise! In my case, senior leadership realizes that they screwed up and I've heard a mid-year (out of cycle) promotion is in the works for me.

Jill in CO

 

[pixiewings71]

My BFF just had this happen to her, only there were 2 open positions in her company. She went to her supervisors and asked why she was passed over for the first postion, they gave her a lot of feedback which she appreciated...the kicker, she was already doing much of what they wanted her to "improve" on and she's training one of the new people! She isn't happy and she's looking to leave. I'm sorry you got passed over OP, I hope you are able to find something new or maybe he won't work out and they will offer it to you. I do think you should talk to your boss tho, see if they knew how much you really did want it and maybe see where they'd like you to improve for future advancements.

 

[sydneysmom]

I totally feel your pain. I am in the same boat. I did go to my boss and ask why and you know what the answer was ? Because I was SO good at the job I'm doing that they thought it was easier to hire someone in for the open position and train them. Seriously ??? So I just feel like I'm stuck in cement. It's so depressing.

On the one hand, I'm grateful to have my job. truely, I am. But you have hopes and dreams and goals. So I keep giving myself the "well, sooner or later the economy will turn around " speech. And when it does, I will start looking someplace else. Until then, it's daily pep talks.

 

[Swimalie]

I'm sorry this happened.

 

[mb_uh]

Thanks for all the encouragement. I am not sure about asking. I asked what they were looking for and it was almost exactly my resume, which during the interview I realized my BIG boss did not even read . F I think that it was political and they picked the person that looked the part. I work in education and 80% of the teachers/staff are female but 85 % of the promotions go to men . I am already in admin and the last 4 of 4 major promotions went to men, it gets really frustrating. Not sure what I am going to do but given the fact that I know he let another principal get away with sexual harassment I really don't care what he wants me to work on- I don't think anything other than a sex change would have made much difference.

I have nothing against men- just hate getting passed over by men who don't know anything and I constantly am expected to clean up their mistakes and put up with their incompetence.

 

[momof2intx]

I know how you feel. This happened to me recently. Unfortunately some times it's not what you know, it's who you know. It's not fair, nor ethical but seems to be how corporate America runs things now a days.

I'm so sorry, keep your chin up and good things will come to you.

 

[mafibisha]

My BFF just had this happen to her, only there were 2 open positions in her company. She went to her supervisors and asked why she was passed over for the first postion, they gave her a lot of feedback which she appreciated...the kicker, she was already doing much of what they wanted her to "improve" on and she's training one of the new people! She isn't happy and she's looking to leave. I'm sorry you got passed over OP, I hope you are able to find something new or maybe he won't work out and they will offer it to you. I do think you should talk to your boss tho, see if they knew how much you really did want it and maybe see where they'd like you to improve for future advancements.

OMG that sucks. Sadly, I've heard of that before. Makes ya wonder why - or IF you should give it 150% ..... ya know?

 

[rie'smom]

I'm sorry that you didn't get the promotion. Look on the bright side though. When the person who got the job turns out to be the wrong choice, you may get it.

 

[58cognac]

I know how you feel. This happened to me recently. Unfortunately some times it's not what you know, it's who you know. It's not fair, nor ethical but seems to be how corporate America runs things now a days.

I'm so sorry, keep your chin up and good things will come to you.

I totally agree, been there, and when it became clear I made the hard choice to put in my notice. About a month after leaving, I wondered why I didn't do it sooner!

 

[58cognac]

I know how you feel. This happened to me recently. Unfortunately some times it's not what you know, it's who you know. It's not fair, nor ethical but seems to be how corporate America runs things now a days.

I'm so sorry, keep your chin up and good things will come to you.

I totally agree, been there, and when it became clear I made the hard choice to put in my notice. About a month after leaving, I wondered why I didn't do it sooner!

 

[Mary•Poppins]

You never know when karma is going to take care of you...it will, I promise!
Jill in CO

I am so sorry for you and this really stinks! I do believe in what Jill in CO said. Sometimes it is really hard to wait it out, but I promise you, thinks work out in the end.

 

[pixiewings71]

OMG that sucks. Sadly, I've heard of that before. Makes ya wonder why - or IF you should give it 150% ..... ya know?

Yup, she was giving it 150% too, now she's not. She's really looking into another job, with a completely different company and a different focus. Unfortunately I'm not sure she can leave her position just yet, she's in a field that required her to earn a certain number of hours before she can be considered for other positions (outside her company) and I think she needs to stay where she is to get the hours. I hope not, they are just not treating her right at all......