OT...Catholic baptism

[MUFFYCAT]

Unless someone offers, it's up to the parents. I could never go to the godparents, grandparents etc. and tell them they have to buy the outfit.

 

[Anewman]

Unless someone offers, it's up to the parents. I could never go to the godparents, grandparents etc. and tell them they have to buy the outfit.

THat is how I feel.

My in-laws are always "HE HAS TO DO THIS" or "SHE IS SUPPOSED TO BUY THIS".

There are no rules, IMO.

When we have been Godparents we always ask "how can we help, is there anything he/she needs, etc..." And for our 2 children we did not DEMAND a thing from the godparents, they all have insisted in helping with numerous things(including DD's dress) but I just do not understand the whole "SET IN STONE" type of rules(traditions).

Do not even get me started on weddings. Too Late. When I asked for my wifes hand first thing my Mother-in-law said "You know that the grooms family IS SUPPOSED TO pay for everything", my wife was the first in that family to marry. I was not asking her a single penny, I had relatives that were upset with me because I did not allow them to Pay for certain things. Well 2 years later I heard My Mother-in-law telling her oldest son(while planning his wedding) that "The Family of the BRIDE is supposed to pay for everything".

 

[CheapMom]

Do not even get me started on weddings. Too Late. When I asked for my wifes hand first thing my Mother-in-law said "You know that the grooms family IS SUPPOSED TO pay for everything", my wife was the first in that family to marry. I was not asking her a single penny, I had relatives that were upset with me because I did not allow them to Pay for certain things. Well 2 years later I heard My Mother-in-law telling her oldest son(while planning his wedding) that "The Family of the BRIDE is supposed to pay for everything".

This is hilarious!

 

[ZuZugal]

I have never heard of the gown being anyone's responsibilty other than the parents. If someone offered it as a gift that would be nice- but I don't beleive there is any such tradition or ettiquette that would dictate such a gift.

This is true in our area as well. My mom wanted to buy for my kids, so I let her do so. But to expect someone other than the parents to buy would not be right. It falls on the resposibility of the parents unless someone else offers.

 

[bubbaloo311]

In my family, the Godmother buys the outfit (Italian/Irish Catholic from NYC). The Godfather buys the cross. When my niece was born, I bought her gown. When my cousin was godmother for her sister's daughter and again for her friend's son, she bought both outfits. I was delighted with how beautiful my niece looked - and was proud that I bought her gown. Also it was an expense I had planned for. I did feel for my cousin though - since the 2 christenings were pretty close - but she loved how her niece looked and her sister (the Mom) was so happy.

Sometimes it is more important to uphold a tradition than to worry about our pocketbook.

 

[aka-mad4themouse]

...And for our 2 children we did not DEMAND a thing from the godparents, they all have insisted in helping with numerous things(including DD's dress) but I just do not understand the whole "SET IN STONE" type of rules(traditions).

I never felt that we were DEMANDING anything from our children's godparents nor did we feel under any pressure to providing anything but love for our godchildren. Traditions are nothing more than a set of long-practiced acts that pay homage to our heritages. I felt honored to uphold the traditions of our families when I stood for my niece and nephews. Buying their christening outfits is simply a part of our tradition.

 

[buddy&wooz]

Interesting thread!

We were fortunate to be able to use a gown that was first used by my oldest cousin in 1957- it's been worn by over 30 babies over the years, including myself and my siblings, all three of my kids, and most recently my goddaughter 2 years ago.

It's paper thin now!

 

[In Luv with Disney]

I think every family is differnet. Our tradition is the Godmother buys all the baptism clothing & the Godfather buys the cross & necklace. The parents get to Ok or Veto the outfit & necklace if they dont like it though.

This is EXACTLY the way it is in my family (DH's family and for all of our friends as well!) I am Roman Catholic of Italian/Irish/Czech decent. My DH is 100% Polish. We are born and raised in NYC!

Good luck whatever you decide to do.

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

gosh, i never even thought about it, just assumed that the parents should buy it.

 

[beattyfamily]

Ok...please bare with me. I have a question regarding who buys the baby's dress for the baptism. Do the parents? The grandparents? Or the Godparents? Please help me settle this debate.

Thanks!

Ok, OP, do tell, who 'won' the debate? Inquiring minds want to know!

 

[1of6]

I would love to know too!

We took care of the outfits for our kids. I didn't think to ask anyone else. Along the same lines, I didn't think to offer for my Godsons.

 

[CheapMom]

Just a question for all those who have the family tradition of having the Godmother or Godparents buy the dress- what do you do if the Godparents are not in your family- how do you inform them of your family tradition so they know what is expected of them?
I would be pretty shocked if someone asked me to be a Godmother and I then found out that I needed to buy the Baptismal clothes.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Just a question for all those who have the family tradition of having the Godmother or Godparents buy the dress- what do you do if the Godparents are not in your family- how do you inform them of your family tradition so they know what is expected of them?
I would be pretty shocked if someone asked me to be a Godmother and I then found out that I needed to buy the Baptismal clothes.

In our family if you were not in the family and did not know the tradition the parents would buy the outfit. You would still dress the baby (and in our family the Godmother bathes the baby before dressing them).

 

[arminnie]

I have two godchildren and didn't buy any dresses. For the first one the parents are both converts (Texans of no particular ethnic heritage).

My cousin (Polish) called from Detroit (I was in CA) very late one night and asked if I would be godmother to her son - THE NEXT DAY. She said it was okay for it to be by proxy. I would have gone if it had been physically possible, but I would have needed "beam me up Scotty" to get there the next day. So there was no issue of buying the dress.

 

[my4kids]

Seems to be more of a family tradition than religious or regional.

yeah, I agree, I'm seeing no pattern here with heritage or region.
Wow- I just never heard of Godparents buying it....

 

[tinan]

beattfamily.........It's looking like no one really won the debate. It appears as though many families have the tradition that the Godparents buy the dress, but I have always been raised that either the outfit is a handmedown from parents/grandparents/etc. or it has been bought by the parents. As I said in a later post, we went out and bought everything the baby will need to wear for the day. I was just shocked at how it was put and said that the Godmother MUST pay for it. I know she will be just beautiful and the baby's grandmother was already in tears when I presented them with everything. She couldn't believe how beautiful it was and the details on the dress. The parents and grandparents were both very happy and I don't mind buying it for her. My whole situation was with the wording and the difference in how I was raised.

 

[beattyfamily]

beattfamily.........It's looking like no one really won the debate. It appears as though many families have the tradition that the Godparents buy the dress, but I have always been raised that either the outfit is a handmedown from parents/grandparents/etc. or it has been bought by the parents. As I said in a later post, we went out and bought everything the baby will need to wear for the day. I was just shocked at how it was put and said that the Godmother MUST pay for it. I know she will be just beautiful and the baby's grandmother was already in tears when I presented them with everything. She couldn't believe how beautiful it was and the details on the dress. The parents and grandparents were both very happy and I don't mind buying it for her. My whole situation was with the wording and the difference in how I was raised.

I must have missed your other post, sorry!

You are right, though. It's a tradition for some and not for others. It just depends on how you were raised.

If the Godparent offers, great, but I don't think they should be asked to do it.

Glad everyone is happy with the dress!

 

[georgina]

In our family if you were not in the family and did not know the tradition the parents would buy the outfit. You would still dress the baby (and in our family the Godmother bathes the baby before dressing them).

Gee, all I've ever done was buy a little religious gift for the baby and show up for the baptism. And that is all I've ever expected the godparents of my kids to do. It is interesting to hear about other families' traditions.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Gee, all I've ever done was buy a little religious gift for the baby and show up for the baptism. And that is all I've ever expected the godparents of my kids to do. It is interesting to hear about other families' traditions.

I think in our family we sort of make the Godmother the Mother on the babies Christening Day. Mothers bathe and dress the baby everyday. BTW the Godmother's that have done this seemed thrilled to have this special time with the child who they are now bonded with. Also I was told that in the old days if the parents died the Godparents stepped in and took over the raising of the child. Now a days we don't do that anymore.

 

[AMcaptured]

We are as Italian and Catholic as any family can be but I have never heard of anyone having the Godparents ( rarely married to each other IMO, most Godparents seem to be one from the mothers side and one from the fathers side ) buy the outfit.

I am actually surprised to hear so few people have family heirlooms passed down from generation to generation.

Our daughter wore my husbands christening gown which was his father's christening gown and I plan on her children wearing it some day too. On my side, we also have a christening gown that was my great grandmothers. Our daughter would have worn that gown if my husbands side hadn't had one but since my husband is an only child and we knew we would only be fortunate enough to have one, I felt she should wear his gown since the one in my family has been worn so very many times. My husbands christening gown is also absoletely STUNNING!

I don't see the reasoning of buying a new gown at every baptism, IMO the beauty of the day is in the tradition. JMO

Oh and I love the story about the mother saying the grooms parents pay for the wedding, how hysterical. BTW, there are no rules anymore regardless of the occasion. Weddings, funerals, christenings, etc. it seems