OT: Birthday Party? Do I have to server pizza?

[mjkacmom]

Well maybe in your part of the country and OP's , its done that way but not here.

Between both my kids, they have been to at least 50 birthday parties and seriously I can't think of 1 that didn't serve food.

True the OP doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to, she asked for opinions and I'm just saying at dinner time I would expect my kids to be served something more than popcorn or cake.

She doesn't have to serve anything for all that I care, I just gave an opinion and how things are usually done in these parts.

And certainly if the OP decides not to serve dinner food, it should definetly clearly be stated on the invitation.

Well, as someone who lives where the OP lives, I can assure you that the parents expect pizza - out of over 100 parties my kids have attended, I can only remember a couple that didn't serve pizza, and they were at odd hours.

 

[Nancyg56]

I do think it's crazy for anyone to expect anything from a party they aren't paying for, but I think I've said that. My reply was to the OP, it really had nothing to do with you
You know, just because you answer a post doesn't mean you need to argue with the people that disagree with you.

I honestly do not believe that parents "expect" anything. I do believe that if you schedule a party for little ones around the dinner hour it is a good idea to include dinner. Not expected, just courteous. If it is not convenient to serve a light dinner it is better to change the hour of the party

 

[Scurvy]

If my son was invited to a party during dinner time and wasn't served dinner but was given cupcakes, popcorn and soda, I think I'd be a little bit irritated. Not because I automatically expect dinner to be provided at a party, but because the time of the party is traditionally "dinner time". If my son filled up on the other food during the party and then came home he wouldn't want to eat real food. Especially if it was on a school night, it would throw off our whole schedule.

Personally, I think that if you choose to have a party during traditional meal times you should provide a meal, even if it's just pizza or hotdogs. If you just want to serve snacks then I think it would be better to have the party at "off" hours - like from 1:00 to 3:00 or something like that.

If you are not going to provide a meal then I agree that you should state "light snacks will be served" (or cupcakes and popcorn, or whatever) so the parents will know to plan to feed their children before or after the party.

 

[jellybeans0607]

Everyone keeps saying "we don't EXPECT it, but we would be mad if it wasn't served. Well, isnt that the same thing?
And I love the notion that the party should be changed to accomodate everyone else.

I just don't get it. Obviously the party was planned at a theater because that is what the child wanted to do. So maybe mom had a budget of Xamount of dollars and the theater ate up all of it. So according to everyone here mom should either stretch her budget or move the party to accomodate you. I'm sure the party was timed at that time for a reason, either it's when the thearter could do it or its when te family could do it.

I think it's sad that people wouldn't understand that a mom can't do everything. That sometimes there is a budget and the person she's really trying to make happy is her child, not the party goers.

If it's such a problem pack the kid a sandwich to eat on the way there. Or, god for bid that a child has a good time eating sweets just once and skips dinner. My children would all survive.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

We're having a movie party from 4 - 6. It's a beverly Hills Chihuahua party at a movie theater. I'm thinking of serving the cupcakes first at 4 because the kids will probably be hungry after school. Then they get drinks and popcorn during the movies...The party will wrap up by 6:00. Do I need to...should I....serve pizza? Then I would just do popcorn and drinks during the movie and pizza and cupcakes at 5:30. That probably makes the most sense but I hadn't planned on the extra expense...any thoughts? Should I just suck it up and put out the money (another $50 - $75) so that when the kids leave they are fed.

What would you do?

Everyone keeps saying "we don't EXPECT it, but we would be mad if it wasn't served. Well, isnt that the same thing?
And I love the notion that the party should be changed to accomodate everyone else.

I just don't get it. Obviously the party was planned at a theater because that is what the child wanted to do. So maybe mom had a budget of Xamount of dollars and the theater ate up all of it. So according to everyone here mom should either stretch her budget or move the party to accomodate you. I'm sure the party was timed at that time for a reason, either it's when the thearter could do it or its when te family could do it.

I think it's sad that people wouldn't understand that a mom can't do everything. That sometimes there is a budget and the person she's really trying to make happy is her child, not the party goers.

If it's such a problem pack the kid a sandwich to eat on the way there. Or, god for bid that a child has a good time eating sweets just once and skips dinner. My children would all survive.

Jellybeans:

Even the mom has indicated the children will be hungry, and I'm not sure what time the kids get out of school, but there might not be any time in between for them to go home, eat, and then make it to the party. Just like you expect to be fed at a wedding (I know, that's an extreme case), you also should expect there to be food during meal times at a party. Again, this might be a regional thing, depending upon where you live, but in this area it is expected that you feed the children. That's why I said they should have pizza first, then a movie, then the cupcakes. Of course, OP might not be able to cancel on the popcorn/soda because it might be included in the price per child at the theater. You really seem to be taking this personally and I don't think it needs to be personal. Maybe it's a Northeast or NJ kind of thing. Each region/area has it's own way of doing things. Just across the water in NY they have huge blowout Sweet 16s that run $10-$20,000. I'm glad that doesn't happen where I live in NJ, but not everyone does everything the same.

 

[mjkacmom]

Everyone keeps saying "we don't EXPECT it, but we would be mad if it wasn't served. Well, isnt that the same thing?
And I love the notion that the party should be changed to accomodate everyone else.

I just don't get it. Obviously the party was planned at a theater because that is what the child wanted to do. So maybe mom had a budget of Xamount of dollars and the theater ate up all of it. So according to everyone here mom should either stretch her budget or move the party to accomodate you. I'm sure the party was timed at that time for a reason, either it's when the thearter could do it or its when te family could do it.

I think it's sad that people wouldn't understand that a mom can't do everything. That sometimes there is a budget and the person she's really trying to make happy is her child, not the party goers.

If it's such a problem pack the kid a sandwich to eat on the way there. Or, god for bid that a child has a good time eating sweets just once and skips dinner. My children would all survive.

Okay then, I EXPECT pizza. I've hosted dozens and dozens of parties, and always fed my guests, especially if it was a mealtime. I also EXPECT to bring a present, EXPECT that they will be singing "happy birthday" and some sort of cake or ice cream will be served. Expectations are based on past experiences - these are my experiences. It appears that not many posters seem to agree with you.

 

[jellybeans0607]

Why would I take anything personal? This has nothing to do with me.

I would just never expect anything of anyone else. Sure the kids will be hungry, she plans to give them cupcakes. I would think at that point they wouldn't be hungry anymore. Then they will have popcorn and soda during the movie. I should think that would be enough party food for anyone. Guess other people just expect more. Maybe she should charge admission, since people want so much.

I would think most parties we've been to have had pizza or some kind of meal. IDK, I don't really keep track. Nor do i expect to be fed. I usually go to a party to celebrate with the child.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Perhaps this truly is a regional issue. I guess it depends upon where you live and the lifestyle of most families in your area. I live in the Silicon Valley in Calif. Many people here work until 5:00 or 6:00 p.m. (or even later). The "dinner hour" seems to start sometime after 6:00. You won't find most restaurants crowded until after 6:00. Rush hour traffic lasts until well past 7:00 p.m. indicating that many people are still driving home from work.

If my child was invited to a party from 4:00 - 6:00 p.m, I wouldn't expect that dinner would be served. It's only a 2 hour party and the host is already providing a movie and snacks for all the kids. To me, that would be plenty. I would plan to feed my son when he got home.

 

[mjkacmom]

Why would I take anything personal? This has nothing to do with me.

I would just never expect anything of anyone else. Sure the kids will be hungry, she plans to give them cupcakes. I would think at that point they wouldn't be hungry anymore. Then they will have popcorn and soda during the movie. I should think that would be enough party food for anyone. Guess other people just expect more. Maybe she should charge admission, since people want so much.

I would think most parties we've been to have had pizza or some kind of meal. IDK, I don't really keep track. Nor do i expect to be fed. I usually go to a party to celebrate with the child.

Well, I guess us Jersey Girls aren't as selfless and gracious as you are . I, personally, push my children to befriend as many children as they can, hoping for lots and lots of invitations, where I can drop them off and get them out of my hair for a couple of hours, conviniently forget the gift (heck, they shouldn't be expecting a gift ), and then bring the rest of my crew to fill up on pizza at the end of the party, so I don't have to bother making them dinner.

BTW, you don't charge admission where you live?

 

[Scurvy]

Jellybeans0607 - I don't think that this is a case of people wanting "so much". The OP obviously thought that some people would expect there to be a meal offered at a party that was held during mealtime, or she wouldn't have even asked. I think that most people do have an expectation that, if a party is held during mealtime, there will be a meal. I don't think that there always has to be a meal offered at a party - cupcakes, coke and pocorn are certainly adequate offerings. However, if you choose to hold your party during mealtime then you should be aware that your guests will likely expect a meal.


A good host anticipates the needs and expectations of their guests. I'm sure that no one expects a host to plan a party that exceeds their budget, but there are ways to plan a party that will meet the expectations of your guests and stay within your budget. If the host can't afford/doesn't want to offer a meal, then the best choice would be to hold the party at a time other than mealtime.

(I'm assuming the "charge admission" thing was a joke, because that would obviously be far outside the bounds of etiquette!)

 

[islangrl]

Wow, some people must have so much pent up anger that a peaceful thread about.....PIZZA just got so derailed!
I think if you can afford it, get the pizza first. If not, give everyone an extra cupcake. One afternoon without pizza isn't gonna hurt anyone. Our dinner time isn't until 7:30, so I wouldn't expect my kids to be fed anyways. Hopped up on sugar and buttery popcorn at a movie party, totally expected!

 

["Cinder" Ella's Mom]

I expect whatever it says on the invitation. Just be clear on there what will be served. I really don't see why kids can't eat dinner at home at 6:15 or 6:30.

 

[K and K's Mommy]

I don't think you have to do pizza. Popcorn and cupcakes is plenty in a two hour time frame. I know we do an after school snack at 4:00 and then eat around 6:00-6:30.

Have fun!

 

[tripplanner]

I wouldn't have expected for my kids to be fed dinner at a party from 4 - 6. Most folks in my area eat supper after six. Now, if the party went until 7 or after - I would assume that the kids were being fed supper.

 

[nicki.momof3]

If you plan a party at a meal time you need to serve a meal (pizza in your case)

 

[Worfiedoodles]

For a party from 4-6, I would expect to be served pizza. Pizza is served at parties here anywhere from 10 am to late at night, so it's not an unrealistic expectation for my area.

However, I would feel much better as a parent if I had a note on the invitation letting me know what to expect -- tell them if you are serving pizza, or tell them you serving "popcorn, soda and sweet treats", so the parents, who know what their individual children need, can anticipate those needs. My son would be fine with no pizza and dinner later. My niece would be the Bride of Frankenstein. I think you can best meet your guests needs by letting them know what to expect.

I admit I would assume there was pizza if the invitation didn't say something to the contrary. You can do whatever you want, just give your guests the courtesy of knowing what to expect.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

Wow, I bet you didn't expect the response you got. I will just answer my $.02 to OP. Between my 3 kids we have been to MANY parties. (This past summer we had at least one a weekend every weekend for 9 weeks, then we had a weekend break before they started a few more weekends. While most served pizza (or sometimes another food), not all of them did. I believe you are providing pleanty and if you are worried that anyone will be upset put "snacks will be provided" on the invite. I think your hours are perfect to not have to feed dinner, you could, but it isn't necessary.
My DD9's party a few years ago was an evening party and ended at 5-5:30 (can't remember ofr sure). We had pizza delivered and hardly anyone ate ANY! What a waste of money. I had ordered extra for the adults who stayed and they all said, "Oh, you shouldn't have, we're going home to have dinner". It was a bit earlier then 6, but stil it was our dinner for the next several nights. I wish I had not ordered it. So, do what you think is best, but I personally would not feel obligated to feed the kids dinner. I don't expect my kids to be fed at any party in fact I make sure they eat a little something before they go to any party (or friends for that matter unless they are specifically invited over for dinner.)

 

[nessz79]

Wow, this thread got a little carried away!

I can see it both ways, but if it's a question of "What would you want as a parent?", I would prefer my son would eat pizza during that time period. But we eat an early dinner on school nights and I know he wouldn't eat if he filled up on drinks, cupcakes, and popcorn.

Only my 2 cents, though. I would want to know what to expect on the invite

 

[The Disney Bunch]

It must be a regional thing - I am in NJ also - I can only think of one party that my girls went to that they didn't get fed. It is expected at birthday parties.

so OP - pony up! I like the pizza, movie, cupcakes version - that covers all the bases.

GOod luck! What movie will you be showing? Is it the theater in Ramsey or is there another theater that does this? I haven't heard of another & I am always looking for a good deal!


For the record - if anyone is curious - the theater at Ramsey runs the movies - you can invite, I believe, 50 people & it costs $250. Not bad!

 

[carj]

I wouldn't expect a meal during that time but like some others have mentioned, I think that you should note on the invitation what your refreshment plans are for the afternoon.

We usually eat about 6:30 here but every family is different.