OT: Birthday Party? Do I have to server pizza?

[DisneyTigers]

In this day and age, I consider dinner time to be anywhere from 4 - 8, because of the crazy activities. We don't have a certain time - I try to serve dinner when the majority of the kids are home, and that's different every day. However, I think a lot has to do with the expectations of the guests. Here in NJ (not the west coast, south, midwest, where things are probably different), pizza is served at parties - 9 am, 2 pm, 7 pm - doesn't matter - party = pizza. Pizzarias are also VERY plentiful - very easy to find a good deal. Guests will expect pizza, not because they are greedy, but because of what they are used to HERE.

Like I said before, it doesn't matter WHERE I live, I will execute a birthday party based on what's good for me and my family, NOT what people "expect" and certainly not because "that's what everyone does HERE."

If all the other lemmings in your forest jump off the cliff, are you going too?

Also, like someone else said, the party is for 2 hours, and the movie pretty much IS the party. PLUS, I think OP said if she did get pizza she would have to purchase the jacked-up "Pizza Party Plan" offered by the cinema.

Someone, please tell me, why do I get so worked up about stuff that I could care less about??!!

 

[mjkacmom]

I'm sorry but to say that in NJ this is the way it is, is just not right. I grew up in Burlington and i've never heard of this rule.
I still live on the east coast, in the Boston area and still i've not been informed of this.

Sorry, guess I should've said northeast NJ, where the OP is from.

 

[jellybeans0607]

Sorry, guess I should've said northeast NJ, where the OP is from.

So basically in your neighborhood its expected and everyone must adhere to that. I hope everyone has gotten your memo.

 

[mjkacmom]

So basically in your neighborhood its expected and everyone must adhere to that. I hope everyone has gotten your memo.

We attend dozens of parties a year, over the past 10 years or so, and yes, every one of them has served food - guess they all got the memo, too!

 

[DisneyTigers]

We attend dozens of parties a year, over the past 10 years or so, and yes, every one of them has served food - guess they all got the memo, too!

Wait, only FOOD, or it absolutely MUST BE PIZZA?
What if someone wants to serve a seafood buffet, or, horrors, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches??
Are they kicked out of the party circuit?

 

[mjkacmom]

Wait, only FOOD, or it absolutely MUST BE PIZZA?

Pizza has been the minimum. Some get a little carried away, with salad and sandwich platters for the parents who might like to stay, or maybe bagels and coffee for the parents, if the party is in the morning. I'm lazy - pizza and cake is all you get!

 

[DisLaw]

We attend dozens of parties a year, over the past 10 years or so, and yes, every one of them has served food - guess they all got the memo, too!

Here too. The days of cake and ice cream only parties are gone in my neck of the woods (NYC area). Yes that is what we had as kids with a party at the house and some pin the tail on the donkey! But that is just not what the custom is now. I see nothing wrong with adhering to the "customs" of your area. This does not need to turn into a discussion on caving to peer pressure. I always serve food including extra/different items for the parents that decide to hang out because I want to AND because that is the courtesy that has been extended to me and my children when we attend parties. It is fun and never breaks the bank for me. I enjoy it.

The only exceptions to the food being served that we have experienced in the last 12 years have been at MOVIE PARTIES, which is what the OP was asking about. At these parties, too much time is taken up by the movie to allow for a lot of eating time. Thus the food has been limited to snacks, healthy and otherwise.

Its not a matter of "getting the memo" its just being aware of local customs.

 

[DisneyTigers]

Here too. The days of cake and ice cream only parties are gone in my neck of the woods (NYC area). Yes that is what we had as kids with a party at the house and some pin the tail on the donkey! But that is just not what the custom is now. I see nothing wrong with adhering to the "customs" of your area. This does not need to turn into a discussion on caving to peer pressure. I always serve food including extra/different items for the parents that decide to hang out because I want to AND because that is the courtesy that has been extended to me and my children when we attend parties. It is fun and never breaks the bank for me. I enjoy it.

The only exceptions to the food being served that we have experienced in the last 12 years have been at MOVIE PARTIES, which is what the OP was asking about. At these parties, too much time is taken up by the movie to allow for a lot of eating time. Thus the food has been limited to snacks, healthy and otherwise.

Its not a matter of "getting the memo" its just being aware of local customs.

"Local Customs" - are you kidding me??

 

[Scurvy]

Like I said before, it doesn't matter WHERE I live, I will execute a birthday party based on what's good for me and my family, NOT what people "expect" and certainly not because "that's what everyone does HERE."

If all the other lemmings in your forest jump off the cliff, are you going too?

This isn't a situation where everyone in her area spends thousands of dollars for a kid's party and the OP wants to have a reasonable budget and people are jumping all over her for it. She herself had concerns about not offering food during what is, in her area at least, often considered dinner time. (I am assuming this because she said she usually books for off times but was not able to this time.) From an etiquette standpoint, a host is expected to consider their guests' comfort and enjoyment just as much as they consider their own (if not more!).

Of course she's well within her rights to provide whatever she wants to at the party, but a good host anticipates the needs of their guests. She's trying to decide if they need "real" food in addition to the snacks. Obviously none of the guests will starve if they don't get pizza (or hotdogs, or chicken, or whatever real food she might offer) but if the kids fill up on all the snack food at the party they won't be likely to eat their dinner afterward. For many families, that would be a problem.

My family often doesn't eat until 8:00, but for my area that's definitely not the norm. If I had a party from 4:00 - 6:00 I would feel I needed to offer some form of a meal since that's when most people around here eat.. If I had one from 1:00 - 3:00 I wouldn't.

I don't understand why this has become such a heated thread. The OP asked for opinions and people are providing them based on the norms in their areas.

To the OP - All that you're providing does sound like a lot of food. I would never expect a real meal at a typical movie party. It's just the hours of the party that make me think maybe "real" food would be a good idea. I think you'd probably be fine as long as you let the parents know if you decide just to serve the snack food instead. That way they can plan to feed the kids something light on the way or delay dinner a bit afterward. Or maybe you could do something lighter than pizza that still has some protein, like some sort of light sandwiches cut in dog bone shapes (since I think you said it was a "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" party). Or sandwich rollups, or something like that.

 

[DisLaw]

Or maybe you could do something lighter than pizza that still has some protein, like some sort of light sandwiches cut in dog bone shapes (since I think you said it was a "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" party). Or sandwich rollups, or something like that.

Great idea! That is along the lines of what I was thinking, plus the kids could take them with them to eat in their seats while they watched the movie.

 

[DisneyTigers]

Great idea! That is along the lines of what I was thinking, plus the kids could take them with them to eat in their seats while they watched the movie.

Okay, that is a good idea!

 

[bonita_babe232]

I think the rolls are a good idea since the invites are out, then you can give the rolls to them just durning the movie and if they don't want them then you can just wrap it up in and put in there popcorn bowls/bags.... But next time i would write on the invite, something along the line of join sammy for an afternoon movie...we'll have a small after school snack and some popcorn with cake after the movie... I usually OVER do it food wise, but thats just me taking after my grandma ( you should see family dinner lol ) and its always home partys.... I think I'm just gonna do mc.donalds or the playplaces from now on

 

[seeking pixie dust]

First, I haven't read all the messages, so forgive me if I say something that hasn't been said.

1 - I used to work for a large Cinema company and no food from outside can be brought in. Did you make arrangements for cake?
2 - Most cinemas sell hotdogs and small pizzas. Would you be willing to purchase these instead of the popcorn. Work with the theatre manager and maybe you can get a deal. I agree that things can get pricey, but maybe you can work a deal with the theatre.

 

[FSUDisneyGirl]

I vote no to a meal, if you're feeling bad about stuffing the kids full of snacks, maybe provide some "healthier" snacks (pretzels, etc?) if you'd like? 4-6 seems early for a meal, and I don't really see how parents feeding their kids at 6:15 is any kind of detriment. I'm sure the kids won't mind (as long as they get to eat something!)!

We actually just started tutoring at my school- 3 days a week from 4-6 pm. Parents don't expect meals for that, LOL!

 

[PrincessKsMom]

OP can and should do whatever she pleases. However, the idea of saving $50-$75 over pizza is crazy. I do believe OP said it was $175 movie theatre rental fee plus $8.50 per child (minimum of 25 children). That's a total of $387.50. At this price, does another $50-$75 make that much difference? I have had a movie parties for my daughter -- once at the theatre in the little party room for 10 girls and once when we went to the movies and Houlihan's afterwards with 7 girls. If price is a problem, why invite 25 kids? Why rent the entire theatre at all; just get some of the kids together to see the movie and then back to your house for pizza/cake/party. (Just saying, there are ways to save and if you've done almost $400, why hold back now?)

 

[bambootinker]

yeah, I also had to stop responding. It just didn't make any sense. To be honest it blew my mind how much people expect from a childs bday party. Then also to suggest the mom should change the party. Craziness.

Guess i'm one of the eccentric types, lol who knew, my friends are sure to get a laugh out of that. We don't eat dinner in this house until *gasp* 6:30-7.
My children also get off the bus around 4, and then play in the neighborhood until 6. Come home, do homework and then we eat.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DisneyTigers View Post
Like I said before, it doesn't matter WHERE I live, I will execute a birthday party based on what's good for me and my family, NOT what people "expect" and certainly not because "that's what everyone does HERE."

If all the other lemmings in your forest jump off the cliff, are you going too?

Do you always mock people with whom you disagree? People are giving opinions based on experience. It isn't about being lemmings (which is a myth, btw) it is about doing what one thinks is best for the children involved. Because, really isn't the birthday child and guests what it is all about?

Putting others down to build one self up is one of the bully issues we deal with in school every day.

 

[jellybeans0607]

Do you always mock people with whom you disagree? People are giving opinions based on experience. It isn't about being lemmings (which is a myth, btw) it is about doing what one thinks is best for the children involved. Because, really isn't the birthday child and guests what it is all about?

Putting others down to build one self up is one of the bully issues we deal with in school every day.

guess thats me, the school bully. "whats best for the kids involved," are you serious?

 

[DisneyTigers]

Do you always mock people with whom you disagree? People are giving opinions based on experience. It isn't about being lemmings (which is a myth, btw) it is about doing what one thinks is best for the children involved. Because, really isn't the birthday child and guests what it is all about?


Putting others down to build one self up is one of the bully issues we deal with in school every day.

Yes, exactly, and the birthday child and her guests -I AM ALMOST CERTAIN -could care less what they eat.

Yep, me too, the school bully

The only reason I am calling someone on feeling like she HAS to throw a party in the manner of those around her is because I have no self-esteem want to build myself up. Exactly.