OT....BFF Marries on my Birthday

[ChillyWilleys]

My daughter decided to have her birthday on my birthday, I still can't get over how rude that was! I don't even have a birthday any more, and I really don't care. Have you planned a wedding yet? It can actually be quite difficult when trying to get a date that works for church, vendors, parents, vacation time, time of year that you would like etc. To even take into consideration the birthdays or other plans of people out of immediate family would be impossible.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

My daughter decided to have her birthday on my birthday, I still can't get over how rude that was!

The nerve of her. How DARE she!

 

[Bren's Mom]

Didn't try to force her. I asked her...once, she said no. I left it alone. haha Didn't want to spoil HER day..

Actually you said you 'really, really tried' to get her to change it. Sounds like more than what you're saying it was in the quote above.

And that's ok. Live and learn. If you don't know now you'll know soon enough that that's a silly thing to get worked up over. The DATE truly isn't important...any date. The celebration, the people, the being together...THAT is important. I learned this early on. My family, including myself and dh, are almost all in public safety, they all save lives. And lives need to be saved Christmas Day, Easter, children's first birthdays, etc. So we celebrate when we ARE all together, and that is what is important.

That said, there seems to be alot of water under the bridge and it's best left there. I wouldn't attempt to reconnect. Just move on.

 

[Steph9072]

My daughter decided to have her birthday on my birthday, I still can't get over how rude that was! I don't even have a birthday any more, and I really don't care. Have you planned a wedding yet? It can actually be quite difficult when trying to get a date that works for church, vendors, parents, vacation time, time of year that you would like etc. To even take into consideration the birthdays or other plans of people out of immediate family would be impossible.

My daughter had the nerve to born on my Mom & Dad's anniversary...shame on her

 

[mjkacmom]

OP, I sincerely doubt you will find a single person to agree with you - the idea that you would be offended because your bff decided to get married on your birthday is insane! I got married on dn's 5th birthday, and she was our flower girl, and even at her age, she didn't have a problem with it (we got her a cake). I rarely celebrate my birthday ON my birthday - sometimes not at all. It's just a day.

 

[LWatson]

OP, I sincerely doubt you will find a single person to agree with you - the idea that you would be offended because your bff decided to get married on your birthday is insane! I got married on dn's 5th birthday, and she was our flower girl, and even at her age, she didn't have a problem with it (we got her a cake). I rarely celebrate my birthday ON my birthday - sometimes not at all. It's just a day.

That was nice of you. My sister is having her rehearsal on my son's birthday and flat out said "There will be no mention of his birthday because this week is about me and only me." That peeved my hubby and me off to no end because this is the first time since my son was born that DH is going to be here on the date of his birth (he missed his birth and first birthday). Turns out we arent able to make it anyway (Long story please dont start on me...i feel horrible about it), so there wont be any mention of my son period.

 

[PaddingtonBear]

Your sister is not very nice, LWatson. I would be so excited as a bride to have a little acknowledgement of my nephew's 5th at my reception. Anyone with a heart would.

This whole "all about me, princess for a day, my day" wedding trend is distrubing and nauseating.

 

[kpm76]

This whole thing got me thinking back to when we were planning our wedding. We actually tried to get married on my dad's brithday but the church was booked. We thought that would be have very special The year we were married my parents celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary and we mentioned it at church so we could pray for many more happy years together. I am from a very large family so nobody really gets the spotlight for too long...haha. I think it has made us all congnizant of the fact that other people/events are special and we can celebrate all together.....

 

[kristinw3girls]

WOW- PSSST Let me tell you a secret- the world dosen't revolve around you and the blessed day you were born!! Be happy for your friend and let it go!!

 

[xoprincessmomxo]

WOW- PSSST Let me tell you a secret- the world dosen't revolve around you and the blessed day you were born!!

MTE! Honestly, if my friend had tried to get me to change my wedding date, no way in heck I'd have any desire to reconnect with them.

 

[monsterkitty]

My daughter decided to have her birthday on my birthday, I still can't get over how rude that was!

My dad had the nerver to die on my birthday. I haven't talked to him since!

OP, there are far more imporatant things to worry about in life than getting upset because your friend got married on your birthday.

 

[JoshChristineplus3]

Im with the majority...your whining because a * friend * had her wedding on your birthday??? Just because its your birthday doesn't mean the world and all its plans stop. I think its time for you to act like an adult and either get over your self centered opinion of whom is able to use * your day * the way they see fit and decide whether you want to be friends with her because you like her as a person or cut ties because you don't ... holding a grudge over something that petty, if I was her I wouldn't want to be YOUR friend.

 

[LindaM]

My BIL & XSIL got married on my son's 5th b-day, he had a complete different reaction than you, he was tickled they picked that day to get married, he figured each year they could celebrate together. They did acknowledge him with a cake a singing him happy birthday. (so it wasn't just about them). When I got married, my maid of honour was my cousin, it was also her birthday. I guess my point is both my son and cousin survived the trauma of someone else getting married on their birthday. But if you want us to stop the world on your birthday so it's "sacred" for only you, let us know and we'll see what we can come up with.

 

[phamton]

If you want to hear about a downer on a Birthday...we buried my step-Grandpa on my 18th Birthday…trust me I would have much rather been at a wedding.

My mother died on my husband's birthday, Jan. 30. I was 21 years old and she was 47 years old when she died suddenly of a heart attack. It always made his birthday a little sad for me.

Jan. 30th (when my mother died) was also her grandfather's birthday. He had died years earlier. He and my mother's grandmother were killed in an automobile accident when my mother was 14 years old. My mother was the sole survivor in the accident and she held her grandfather in her lap while he lay dying. The fact that my mother died on his birthday has always seemed kind of calming. Like her beloved grandpa was there to escort her into the afterlife.

I was born on Thanksgiving. So every 7 years, my birthday falls on Thanksgiving again. My dad is an Easter baby and my son was due on Christmas day but came 2 days early.

I was married on my uncle's wedding day. I didn't find out until after the wedding though.

Anyway this is kind of reminding me of the movie "16 candles."

 

[Tink_fanatic]

Wow, you guys are being mean. I asked for an opinion and ok, whatever but let me tell you somethings about the situation.

1. When we reconnected, we were BOTH planning weddings, so yes, I do know what is involved in planning a wedding. When mine fell through, I helped her plan her wedding. I know the church, vendors, ect were free the week before and the week after.
2. I've never celebrated a birthday on any other day besides my birthday. My moms philosophy was we celebrate on your birthday or not at all; so if my birthday fell during the week (Sun-Fri) we did not celebrate!
3. That goes for extended families grandma and great aunts. BTW my paternal grandmother died when I was a sophomore in high school and 3 more of her sisters died in quick succession up until 2007. The only time my family actually "gets" together to is because of a death.

There are many reasons that my birthday is a sacred day to me. Including the ones listed above. My daughter's birthday is a sacred day to me. Middle of the week or not. I'd have to of the most important women in my life tell me that getting married on their birthdays or anyone else's was the biggest mistake of their life. My mom and my boss. They both married on their birthdays and regret it. I see now that it may be a difference of cultures of family dynamics that has this board disagreeing with my POV.

But honestly it wasn't an "Oh crap, my birthday is ruined" more like "Oh crap, it'll be another 7 years before I get to celebrate again". Who knows if I'll even be on earth another 7 years? That's where I am coming from. They had a DJ play a song for me at the reception...that 50 cent song. I was embarrassed to no end for that.

 

[Pakey]

Wow, you guys are being mean. I asked for an opinion and ok, whatever but let me tell you somethings about the situation.

1. When we reconnected, we were BOTH planning weddings, so yes, I do know what is involved in planning a wedding. When mine fell through, I helped her plan her wedding. I know the church, vendors, ect were free the week before and the week after.
2. I've never celebrated a birthday on any other day besides my birthday. My moms philosophy was we celebrate on your birthday or not at all; so if my birthday fell during the week (Sun-Fri) we did not celebrate!
3. That goes for extended families grandma and great aunts. BTW my paternal grandmother died when I was a sophomore in high school and 3 more of her sisters died in quick succession up until 2007. The only time my family actually "gets" together to is because of a death.

There are many reasons that my birthday is a sacred day to me. Including the ones listed above. My daughter's birthday is a sacred day to me. Middle of the week or not. I'd have to of the most important women in my life tell me that getting married on their birthdays or anyone else's was the biggest mistake of their life. My mom and my boss. They both married on their birthdays and regret it. I see now that it may be a difference of cultures of family dynamics that has this board disagreeing with my POV.

But honestly it wasn't an "Oh crap, my birthday is ruined" more like "Oh crap, it'll be another 7 years before I get to celebrate again". Who knows if I'll even be on earth another 7 years? That's where I am coming from. They had a DJ play a song for me at the reception...that 50 cent song. I was embarrassed to no end for that.

Sorry, it's still coming across as whining.

 

[JoshChristineplus3]

See the point your not getting is that the date while it is important to YOU with your family values and beliefs to not hold anything but your birthday on...YOU are not the world and others value other things and don't have to go by what you follow in life.
It was her life and if she wanted her wedding that day, then no one should try and convince her otherwise, no matter what day it was.

 

[Nancyg56]

Wow, you guys are being mean. I asked for an opinion and ok, whatever but let me tell you somethings about the situation.

I did not see mean replies. I saw people who are not in agreement with you.

You are entitled to feel anyway you choose about your birthday but you need to be prepared to accept that while it is your special day you do not own it. No one, not even your BFF owes you to keep that day open in order to celebrate it with you. I understand that you may celebrate in your own way, never moving a celebration in order to accommodate another occasion or to make it more convenient but that is you. Asking a friend to change a wedding date is bringing your needs, your wishes way before her own is asking way too much IMO.

 

[Scurvy]

Wow, you guys are being mean. I asked for an opinion and ok, whatever but let me tell you somethings about the situation.

1. When we reconnected, we were BOTH planning weddings, so yes, I do know what is involved in planning a wedding. When mine fell through, I helped her plan her wedding. I know the church, vendors, ect were free the week before and the week after.
2. I've never celebrated a birthday on any other day besides my birthday. My moms philosophy was we celebrate on your birthday or not at all; so if my birthday fell during the week (Sun-Fri) we did not celebrate!
3. That goes for extended families grandma and great aunts. BTW my paternal grandmother died when I was a sophomore in high school and 3 more of her sisters died in quick succession up until 2007. The only time my family actually "gets" together to is because of a death.

There are many reasons that my birthday is a sacred day to me. Including the ones listed above. My daughter's birthday is a sacred day to me. Middle of the week or not. I'd have to of the most important women in my life tell me that getting married on their birthdays or anyone else's was the biggest mistake of their life. My mom and my boss. They both married on their birthdays and regret it. I see now that it may be a difference of cultures of family dynamics that has this board disagreeing with my POV.

But honestly it wasn't an "Oh crap, my birthday is ruined" more like "Oh crap, it'll be another 7 years before I get to celebrate again". Who knows if I'll even be on earth another 7 years? That's where I am coming from. They had a DJ play a song for me at the reception...that 50 cent song. I was embarrassed to no end for that.

Given that everyone has a birthday, it would be pretty hard to get married on a day that wasn't someone else's birthday.

I find your attitude about celebrating only on your birthdate itself very odd. It doesn't matter what your mother made you do as you were growing up. You are an adult now, and presumably you are the one who gets to make the decisions about when you celebrate. If you want to celebrate your birthday every year then that's your business.

Regardless, your birthday may be sacred to you but most adults don't have that attitude about their own birthdays, much less someone else's. I can't imagine expecting someone else to schedule any part of their life around my birthday - it seems incredibly selfish to me.

If a friend of mine tried to get me to change the date of my wedding so that it wouldn't be on their birthday I would think they were joking. It would never occur to me that they were serious! Maybe your friend also thought you were joking. Regardless, it does seem as though your birthday was more improtant to you than your friendship. As others have said, your birthday is unusually important to you, not everyone else. It's really unrealistic for you to think that anyone else is going to think it's reasonable for the world to revolve around your birthday.

 

[BelleWDW]

.
[*]I've never celebrated a birthday on any other day besides my birthday. My moms philosophy was we celebrate on your birthday or not at all; so if my birthday fell during the week (Sun-Fri) we did not celebrate!

So you never got a cake when your birthday was on a Sunday -through Friday? Huh?

I get it-your birthday is on Leap year day-that is really special!