OT....BFF Marries on my Birthday

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

If I posted on this thread what I really think I'd get slapped with so many points I could buy another DVC membership with them.

So I'll just leave it with: wow, just, wow.

 

[Tink_fanatic]

I'm glad I found a topic everyone could agree on. IT would be different if I was posting about a refillable mugs or something that usually gets the board heated.

 

[Steph9072]

I agree with pp are you serious? You are mad because she got married on your Birthday? If I were you I would apologies to her. Life is too short to hold a grudge about something like that. We never know what tomorrow has in store for us. God forbid she were to die tomorrow, but if she did would you be able forgive yourself for letting this go so far? She didn't ruin your Birthday. If you want to hear about a downer on a Birthday...we buried my step-Grandpa on my 18th Birthday…trust me I would have much rather been at a wedding.

 

[JerseyMamaBear]

Wow! Just wow!

my thoughts exactly!

You should grow up. You should move on.

Funny...years ago, my good friend got married on my birthday. I thought it was kind of cool.

I know right, free drinks at the reception is a very sweet way to celebrate your birthday...

 

[JerseyMamaBear]

Wow! Just wow!

my thoughts exactly!

You should grow up. You should move on.

Funny...years ago, my good friend got married on my birthday. I thought it was kind of cool.

I know right, free drinks at the reception is a very sweet way to celebrate your birthday...

 

[ilandrazdsw]

If she hasn't reached out to you and you are not really ready to reach out to her don't sweat it...not all friendships are meant to be forever. Just try to remember the good times you had together and her good qualities. If you happen to cross paths be open and social (if ou are up to it), but don't feel you have to give being BFFs a go again.

And as far as the dates go...would you have REALLY/HONESTLY changed your date for her? There may have been other reasons which you are not aware why she chose that specific date. I know when I got married DH and I chose our date for very specific reasons and wouldn't have changed it for ANY reason (except maybe an ill/hospatilized parent)! From here on out you only have to celebrate YOUR birthday on this date

 

[Schmeck]

I'm just hoping the OP is better at taking care of her child than she is dealing with adults - there are some things she has stated on here that make me worried about her 5 year old daughter. Things like "Oh, and trying for me is a one time shot. I don't like rejection." and "I do tend to hold a grudge but get over it after a year or so." These are not healthy attitudes for a parent, are they? Maybe they're just exaggerations?

 

[ilandrazdsw]

I'm just hoping the OP is better at taking care of her child than she is dealing with adults - there are some things she has stated on here that make me worried about her 5 year old daughter. Things like "Oh, and trying for me is a one time shot. I don't like rejection." and "I do tend to hold a grudge but get over it after a year or so." These are not healthy attitudes for a parent, are they? Maybe they're just exaggerations?

IDK, sometimes people just react differently to adults vs children. Personally I hold a grudge for 2 years when it comes to my kids

 

[*Toadstool*]

I think it is really hard to reconnect with someone you lost touch with for years. I had 2 really good friends in high school, and stuff happened and we lost touch. I've tried to reconnect with both of them, and things are so different that we really aren't compatible anymore. The other one lives hours away, and I find it hard to have a long distance relationship with her especially since she doesn't use the internet much.
I wouldn't care if someone I knew got married on my birthday, but that is just me.

 

[allison443]

I have to agree with the majority-I cannot believe an adult would get mad over someone having their wedding on your birthday.
One of my kids was born on my wedding anniversary-it doesn't make either occasion less special
I really don't understand this. I don't know anyone in real life who would act like this at age 25.

 

[scrapquilter]

OMG, are you kidding me? You are mad at someone you haven't talked to in years because she scheduled her wedding on your birthday, and then you had the nerve to ask her to change her wedding date?????????????


Yes, you definitely need to just get over it. Geesh.


If a recently re-united with friend of mine asked me to change my wedding date because it was her birthday, I'd tell her to take a hike.

 

[scrapquilter]

Thanks BirthDATES are huge with family and friends I associate with. They come in handy a lot of the time. We use them for everything from license plates to passwords. It's the dates that's important not necessarily the year.

What the poster mean by 'dates are not important' is that you could have celebrated your birthday with her a week or two later or earlier and it would still be special even though the 'party' wasn't on the actual DATE of your birthday (haven't you ever had your party on a different day because it was more convenient to have the party on a Saturday when your actual birthday fell on a Tuesday???)

 

[swea_pea1]

OP, it sounds to me like you are not very familiar what goes into planning a wedding. When I got married, the church required a 6 month notification but it was more like 9-12 months to reserve the date/time I wanted.

The reception was worse. I was calling around a year ahead of time and many places were already booked for the date I had chosen with my church. After I finally found one that was the right size, the right location (not too far from the church but close to hotels for out of town guests) and the right menu and prices, I had to make sure the band and the florist were available.

Change the date? No, once the wheels started spinning there was no way I could change the date - even for a week. I would have had better luck moving it to a year later and basically start from scratch than move it a week.

You need to realize that what you asked (and are resenting) not only crossed the boundary of a normal, healthy, adult relationship but was also probably impossible for her to accomplish as well.

 

[lindsmom]

What the poster mean by 'dates are not important' is that you could have celebrated your birthday with her a week or two later or earlier and it would still be special even though the 'party' wasn't on the actual DATE of your birthday (haven't you ever had your party on a different day because it was more convenient to have the party on a Saturday when your actual birthday fell on a Tuesday???)

exactly what I meant. Thank you.

 

[PaddingtonBear]

Ok, so let me tell you a lil somethin' 'bout weddings: they take a long time to plan and are complex. Let me tell you a lil somethin' 'bout ex-bffs: if they are self-involved to the point that they'd ask you to change your wedding date because its thier birthday, they are expendable.

We got married on my SIL's birthday. I ordered her a special little cake and we all sang happy birthday to her at the reception. She thought it was cool. And I wouldn't have even condidered changing the date if she'd asked (and she wouldn't have), since it was the only open weekend at our hall and church that month- and I booked it 18 mo in advance.

Your birthday may be important to YOU, don't expect anyone else to give a rat's patootie.

 

[Nancyg56]

I do I understand I was being selfish. But for reasons I am not willing to spill or rather bore you guys with, I hold my birthday sacred. Yes she does. We do not talk at all anymore. I do tend to hold a grudge but get over it after a year or so. I do have a lot of issues you know....but nevermind....it's deep-rooted and i thought she would understand.

I think that the thing that you are forgetting is that your date is sacred to you. While you are entitled to hold it dear you are not entitled to begrudge anyone else their special day. My sister married on my birthday. I was 14 at the time and thought that it was cool. Even if I was jealous though, and I would expect that more from a 14 YO than from a 25 YO, I would never have let her know. My friend also married on my birthday. I was her MOH and again, it never occurred to me to think it was selfish of her to choose that date.

I am not trying to be critical but quite honestly, if I was this woman I would run like the dickens if you decided that once again you wanted to "reconnect". A friendship with you sounds like it works only if it works for and around you. Most people have life to deal with and trying to sort out the moods of a very self absorbed person just does not fit in with folks who have real issues to deal with on a daily basis.

 

[BelleWDW]

I do miss her but do not miss the drama or

the fact that she wouldn't push her wedding back on Saturday or forward one Saturday. I'm still mad about it.

What should I do?! Sorry so long but thanx for reading my rant.

When I got married , I couldn;t get the date I wanted, because the church was booked.

I can not imagine anyone having any say on the date of someone else's wedding. wow

 

[NMAmy]

This reminds me of my first wedding when the best man's girlfriend (who we barely knew) threw an absolute hissy fit because we had the gall to get married on her birthday.

DH and I got married on my birthday. Best birthday gift I ever got.

OP--I hope you realize that this is a silly thing to hold a grudge about. People aren't always going to be able to (or even want to) rearrange things for your birthday.

 

[Heidict]

Thanks BirthDATES are huge with family and friends I associate with. They come in handy a lot of the time. We use them for everything from license plates to passwords. It's the dates that's important not necessarily the year

Okay, now that you just told everyone on the web what your password is, you might want to go and change them.

I do I understand I was being selfish. But for reasons I am not willing to spill or rather bore you guys with, I hold my birthday sacred. Yes she does. We do not talk at all anymore. I do tend to hold a grudge but get over it after a year or so. I do have a lot of issues you know....but nevermind....it's deep-rooted and i thought she would understand.

Sacred? You are kidding right? I have a feeling that those around you aren't looking at your birthday as a sacred event.

You hold a grudge for a year or so? I don't mean for this to sound mean, but you really have some serious growing up to do. So many of the things that you have said on the thread show your immaturity.

 

[Zeebs]

So are new friends chosen on whether they have any significant events/anniversaries going on that clash with your birthday?